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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1813 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2026

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2026
Relationship

Hi Madam, I am from Jaipur. My daughter is married in well off joint family having a baby of 2 years. My daughter is facing the following problem/s. 1. In their family, she has mother-in-law, her two sons (daughter is married to the elder son), the other son is also married with a working wife. My daughter is also working in a reputed multinational company. 2. We have raised our daughter with good values viz. always respect elders whether or not they reciprocate with love, keep good relations with all (elders and younger), to take care of home. 3. The problem is her mother-in-law is totally in favour of her younger daughter-in-law as she is from their caste. She gives more importance to the younger bahu than my daughter. No matter how much my daughter does for her mom-in-law and others in the family, she always finds fault with her. On the other hand, the younger daughter-in-law is very clever and shrewd and finds ways to butter mother-in-law and the sister-in-law (who is also married having 2 children, living separately). She does very less household work and still manages to get praise from all because of her shrewdness. My daughter doesn’t like doing buttering, lip-service. 4. My daughter is therefore continuously facing physical and mental stress due to all this. She shares her sufferings with me and I try to console her and advise her to tactfully handle situations as they arrive. Don’t take too much stress but I understand her situation. 5. My son-in-law though loves his wife but care more for his ageing mother and therefore doesn’t confront his mother, his bhabhi or his younger brother (who is also totally in favour of his wife i.e. younger daughter-in-law). He supports my daughter in private but doesn’t confront his mother whenever my daughter complains about her, saying mom might feel hurt. 6. The biggest problem is due to all this; my daughter is in great stress. Sometimes unable to cope with extreme situations surrounding her. She keeps sharing her thoughts and problems with me and I give her advice according to best my knowledge and experience. I request for your expert advice on what action should we take so that my daughter can lead a normal, dignified life. Thanks.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's almost impossible to change people BUT the way we respond to them is the only safe bet...

If your son-in-law openly supports your daughter, you know what it will do to the family; fights, arguments and if there's a rift your daughter will be blamed for it
If the only way is a joint family, then the way to approach this is quite straightforward and it's even better as your daughter is working, so very little time for interactions at home. Now, if your daughter chooses to be bothered by who's the better daughter-in-law and who does more work and who gets the praise, she's going to be stuck in this loop and there's no end to it.
Yes, I will ask her to ignore, do only what she can, not waiting for anyone to notice...seeing this change in behavior will definitely cause the family to notice it and who knows things may change.
If marriage only meant that one's efforts must be noticed and especially in a joint family, that is almost an impossibility as someone or the other is going to be unhappy with the efforts. Is your daughter going to chase this or is going to life her life?
As I mentioned earlier, trying to change someone will only end up in fights and if your daughter and her husband are ready for what will follow, then that's a choice that they need to make which is also fine.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1813 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

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Relationship
Mam, I am retired father in law and financial well off. My son got married five years back. It is arranged marriage through matrimony. My son and daughter in law are both post degree qualified and well placed and staying with us. We tried asking for some money from both of them for monthly family expenses after two years of marriage which daughter in law refused and said you want dowry in this form, she record conversations, threat us of stree mukti, of police complaint , object our daughter visiting our place, blames us etc. Very often, she fight with her husband as well. We are only in reactive mode every time and accommodate her. Nowadays, she has started demanding the money spent by her mother in marriage and frequently leave our house and stay with her mother. We are afraid that she does not fake complain and harrasss us. Does not have any respect to relation, relatives, isolated /self centric, high ego and make other irritate type of personality, thinks of herself, does not believe that there is world outside. Please advise.
Ans: Dear Subhash,
Since I only have your version of the story, I can only assume that you are going through a rough patch. But I do believe it takes two sides in any story. Why is it that your daughter-in-law wants to all of a sudden behave this way? Were things fine in the initial years of marriage?
Why the sudden demand of money from you when you say that she is well-placed? Surely something seems amiss here.
Anyway, it is worrisome when your own people behave in this way. You are also justified in feeling that she may make a false complaint. Where is your son's mind in this matter? I think he should also be worried about the way things are changing. Is he unable to or has he tried to talk to his wife? At this point, let no one else interfere and let him be the sole person to deal with her.
He knows the challenges at home and will know what to do. So kindly request your son to step in (if he hasn't already done that) and sort this out in the most amicable manner. This first step will then determine the future course of action.
Having said this, I do want the family to recall if there has been any instance that has triggered your daughter-in-law to act this way. That will give you an idea to proceed in the right direction.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1813 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

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Relationship
I am 64, retired living in own house together with wife, son and daughter -in law for last five years. Both, son and daughter are professionally qualified, well placed and earn good. The daughter - in law out of last five years stayed away for half the time for one reason or the other at her mother place. She is very egoistic and arrogant and fight with everyone in family for no great reason including, son and my married daughter whenever she comes to our place to meet us. She has an objection her coming to our place. She has ones threatened us of complaining to police and women organization, Stree Mukti Sanghatana. She makes mountain out of anthill every time so we have stopped talking to her. The couple is staying with us, we bear all family expenses and don't expect even a penny from both son and Daughter in - law as ,when ones money of Rs. 15 K was asked to, she refused and made an allegation that we want dowry in this form . Son help us with some monthly expenses every month. She is staying alone away from us for more than 6 months now. My son is also tired of her behavior. We even have approached her mother, she also keep hand on deaf ears as she also does not listen to her and one brother. Please advice, what do we do in the circumstances?
Ans: Dear Subhash,
Kindly convey to your son and daughter-in-law that they live in a separate house. (This is a suggestion but you know your family better; so act accordingly). This will not only give them the space but will also keep finances separate between you and your son. Sometimes a joint family system does not work for all families and this space of separation can help resolve differences or bring the emotions to a neutral place. Either case, at least you and your wife need not go through stress everyday.
Distance helps bring people together and too much of familiarity is only making it worse. Do try this and hope things settle soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1813 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Listen
Relationship
I am 64, retired living in own house together with wife, son and daughter -in law for last five years. Both, son and daughter are professionally qualified, well placed and earn good. The daughter - in law out of last five years stayed away for half the time for one reason or the other at her mother place. She is very egoistic and arrogant and fight with everyone in family for no great reason including, son and my married daughter whenever she comes to our place to meet us. She has an objection her coming to our place. She has ones threatened us of complaining to police and women organization, Stree Mukti Sanghatana. She makes mountain out of anthill every time so we have stopped talking to her. The couple is staying with us, we bear all family expenses and don't expect even a penny from both son and Daughter in - law as ,when ones money of Rs. 15 K was asked to, she refused and made an allegation that we want dowry in this form . Son help us with some monthly expenses every month. She is staying alone away from us for more than 6 months now. My son is also tired of her behavior. We even have approached her mother, she also keep hand on deaf ears as she also does not listen to her and one brother. Please advice, what do we do in the circumstances?
Ans: Dear Subhash,
Kindly convey to your son and daughter-in-law that they live in a separate house. (This is a suggestion but you know your family better; so act accordingly). This will not only give them the space but will also keep finances separate between you and your son. Sometimes a joint family system does not work for all families and this space of separation can help resolve differences or bring the emotions to a neutral place. Either case, at least you and your wife need not go through stress everyday.
Distance helps bring people together and too much of familiarity is only making it worse. Do try this and hope things settle soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1813 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 11, 2026
Money
I am a 25 yo looking to fix my money problems. Plsssss help!!!!!!!
Ans: At 25, you have something very valuable: plenty of time to correct money mistakes.

You do not need a perfect investment plan today. You need a simple system that you can follow every month.

» Step 1: Know Where Your Money Goes

For the next 2–3 months, track every rupee coming in and going out.

Separate expenses into:

– Essential expenses
– Family commitments
– Lifestyle spending
– EMIs and other debts
– Savings and investments

This will show where your money problem actually is.

» Step 2: Clear Costly Debt First

If you have credit-card outstanding, personal loans or other high-cost debt, give priority to clearing them.

Do not take more investment risk while expensive debt is eating into your income.

» Step 3: Build An Emergency Fund

Before increasing mutual fund investments, create an emergency reserve.

Keep around 4–6 months of essential expenses in easily accessible, safe options.

This money is not for wealth creation. It is for emergencies such as job loss, family needs or sudden expenses.

» Step 4: Start Investing Systematically

After your emergency fund and debt are under control, start a monthly SIP.

A diversified equity mutual fund portfolio can be considered for goals that are at least 7–10 years away.

Do not select funds simply because they gave high returns recently.

The investment should match your goal, time period and ability to handle market ups and downs.

» Step 5: Increase Savings With Income

At 25, your income may grow considerably over the next 10 years.

Whenever your salary increases:

– Increase your SIP.
– Avoid increasing lifestyle expenses at the same speed.
– Keep bonuses partly for financial goals.
– Build separate funds for short-term and long-term goals.

This can make a much bigger difference than trying to find the highest-return investment.

» Step 6: Protect Yourself

A 360-degree money plan also needs protection.

– Maintain adequate health insurance.
– If you have financial dependants, consider suitable term insurance.
– Keep nominees updated on your financial accounts.
– Avoid mixing insurance and investment without understanding the costs and benefits.

» Step 7: Keep Goals Separate

Create separate buckets for:

– Emergency money
– Short-term goals within 3 years
– Medium-term goals of 3–7 years
– Long-term wealth creation

Money needed soon should not be exposed heavily to equity market risk.

» Finally

At 25, even if your finances currently feel messy, you are very far from being financially stuck.

Start with three things: control expenses, remove costly debt and build an emergency fund. Then increase your long-term investments gradually.

If you share your monthly income, expenses, existing loans, savings, investments and major goals, an Investment professional can assess the complete picture and suggest a more suitable 360-degree structure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 13, 2026
Money
Hello sir, I am a mbbs second year student (about to finish) and currently earn about 50K from a part time job. After house expenses my savings are around 20K. I have recently invested in following sip- Parag Parikh direct growth 2.5K monthly ; hdfc large and mid cap 2.5K monthly ; hdfc defense 1K monthly I wish to grow this money in 5 years to somewhat amount to afford a down payment for a house on home loan as soon as I start my pg Any suggestions about my current sip and where should I put rest of my money?
Ans: It is good that you have started investing while still in your second year of MBBS. Building the saving habit at this stage can give you a strong financial base when your medical career grows.

You currently save around Rs.20,000 every month. Your present SIP is Rs.6,000, leaving around Rs.14,000 for other financial priorities.

» Your 5-Year House Goal

A 5-year period is relatively short for an equity-heavy portfolio, especially when the money is specifically required for a house down payment.

Your PG admission and career transition may also bring large expenses. So, the house fund should not depend entirely on equity market returns.

I would suggest keeping the house down-payment goal separate from your long-term wealth creation.

– Money required within 5 years: moderate-risk investments with increasing debt allocation as the goal approaches.

– Money required after 10 years: equity-oriented mutual funds can have a larger role.

» Review of Your Existing SIPs

Your portfolio has three different exposures:

– A diversified equity fund gives broad exposure and can remain a core long-term holding.

– A large and mid-cap fund can also be useful for long-term wealth creation.

– A defence-sector fund is a thematic investment. It can be more volatile because its performance depends heavily on one sector.

For a 5-year house goal, I would not make the thematic fund a major part of your savings. You may consider keeping the exposure limited and directing fresh money towards diversified investments.

» Direct Plan Vs Regular Plan

You are currently using direct mutual fund plans. Direct plans have a lower expense ratio because there is no distributor commission.

However, for a young investor starting his financial journey, the service and review support available through an MFD can be valuable.

A regular plan through an AMFI-registered MFD can provide:

– Portfolio review and rebalancing support.

– Help in matching investments with your changing goals.

– Guidance when markets fall sharply.

– Assistance with nominations, transactions and documentation.

– Review when your income changes substantially after MBBS and during PG.

The cost difference should therefore be evaluated along with the service you actually receive. If you are comfortable selecting, monitoring and reviewing everything yourself, direct plans can be suitable. Otherwise, regular plans through an MFD can offer useful ongoing support.

» Where To Put The Remaining Rs.14,000

I would not immediately put the entire balance into equity SIPs.

Your first priority should be an emergency reserve. Since you are studying and working part-time, your income may change during PG.

You can divide the remaining savings broadly into:

– Rs.8,000–Rs.10,000 towards a safe house/PG reserve.

– Rs.4,000–Rs.6,000 towards additional long-term wealth creation.

The safe portion can be built through suitable bank deposits or high-quality short-duration debt-oriented investments, depending on your exact need and tax position.

» Do Not Take A Large Home Loan Too Early

This is especially important in your case.

Your income may rise significantly after PG, but your education and career path can also involve relocation, fees and other expenses.

Buying a house immediately after starting PG may therefore put unnecessary pressure on your cash flow.

It may be better to first build:

– Emergency fund.

– PG education fund.

– House down-payment fund.

– Adequate health insurance.

– Personal term insurance when you have financial dependants.

Then decide the home-loan amount based on your stable post-PG income.

» A Better 360-Degree Approach

Your present age gives you a major advantage: time.

Do not focus only on maximising the SIP return. Focus on building financial flexibility.

For the next few years:

– Continue disciplined monthly investing.

– Keep the house corpus separate from retirement/long-term wealth.

– Reduce dependence on the thematic fund.

– Build an emergency reserve.

– Avoid unnecessary loans and lifestyle commitments.

– Increase SIPs whenever your income rises.

Once you complete PG and your income becomes stable, you can substantially increase your equity SIP and build wealth much faster.

» Final Insights

Your starting point is quite strong for an MBBS student. The important thing now is not to chase very high returns.

Your 5-year house goal needs capital protection as the date comes closer. Your long-term wealth goal can take more equity risk.

With disciplined saving now and a meaningful SIP increase after PG, you can create a much stronger financial position before taking a home loan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 12, 2026

Money
Sir, I have a lic jeevan suraksha poliy plan 122 - 27 Yrs with terminal Bonus, Without Life Cover, Policy Issue date 1.7.2001, VEsting Date 30.3.2028, yearly Premium Rs 9918/-Monthly Annuity Rs 9990/- - NCO - Rs 1200000/- . I wanted to now if LIC actually declares any SRB in addition to NCO for policy. and If yes, What would be the Approximate Corups available to me on the vesting date for me to choose between the Options
Ans: You have given the important policy details, and the vesting date is quite close. This is a useful time to review the available options carefully.

Your policy appears to be the old deferred annuity plan, Plan 122, issued in 2001. The plan provides for a deferred annuity and includes provision for a terminal bonus.

» Will you get SRB in addition to Rs. 12 lakh NCO?

The important point is that the benefit in your policy should not be assumed to be a normal Simple Reversionary Bonus (SRB), like in a traditional participating endowment policy.

For this particular plan, the benefit structure refers to a Final Additional Bonus / Terminal Bonus payable at vesting, subject to LICs declaration and the terms applicable to your policy.

Therefore:

– Your Rs. 12 lakh NCO is the important base figure.

– A terminal/final additional bonus may be payable in addition to this amount.

– The bonus cannot be safely estimated merely by applying the current LIC bonus rates.

– The final amount will depend on the bonus actually declared by LIC for your particular policy at vesting.

So, I would not advise you to assume a particular bonus amount before LIC confirms it.

» Approximate corpus at vesting

Since your vesting date is 30.03.2028, there is still some time left.

For planning purposes, I would treat Rs. 12 lakh as the presently known NCO and consider the terminal bonus as an additional amount, rather than building your retirement decision around an assumed bonus.

A reasonable planning approach is:

– Base amount: Rs. 12 lakh NCO.

– Plus: terminal/final additional bonus, if declared and applicable.

– Final vesting value: to be confirmed by LIC before you exercise the annuity option.

I would be cautious about giving you a speculative corpus figure. It may look useful today, but it can create the wrong expectation.

» One important point about your Rs. 9,990 monthly annuity

You have mentioned:

– NCO: Rs. 12 lakh

– Monthly annuity: Rs. 9,990

– Annual premium: Rs. 9,918

– Policy term: 27 years

– Vesting: 30.03.2028

At vesting, you should obtain a written quotation from LIC showing the NCO after applicable bonus and the annuity payable under each available option.

The choice exercised at vesting is important because it determines your future pension structure and other benefits.

» What I suggest you do before 30.03.2028

About 6–12 months before vesting, ask LIC for a written statement showing:

– Present NCO.

– Terminal/final additional bonus credited or payable.

– Final amount available at vesting.

– Monthly annuity under each available option.

– Whether any commutation option is available to you.

– Death-benefit provisions under each option.

– Whether the Rs. 9,990 monthly annuity mentioned in your policy document remains applicable.

This is much safer than relying on an old policy document or verbal information.

» 360-degree retirement assessment

The bigger question is not only whether the corpus becomes Rs. 12 lakh or somewhat higher.

You should compare:

– The final LIC vesting amount.

– Pension available under each option.

– Whether you need regular income after 2028.

– Whether preserving capital for your family is important.

– Your other retirement assets and monthly income.

– Tax treatment of the income, where applicable.

– Liquidity required for medical and other emergencies.

Since this is an old policy and you have already paid premiums for many years, I would not suggest surrendering it at this stage without first checking the exact vesting benefits.

» Final Insights

Yes, your policy may have a terminal/final additional bonus in addition to the NCO, but I would not treat it as a guaranteed SRB or assume a fixed bonus amount.

For your decision-making, Rs. 12 lakh should presently be treated as the known base. The additional terminal bonus should be confirmed by LIC closer to the vesting date.

Most importantly, please obtain the official vesting quotation from LIC before choosing the annuity option. Once you have that quotation, the different options can be compared properly from an income, liquidity and family-benefit perspective.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 11, 2026

Money
I AM AGED ABOUT 56 AND HAVING A MEDICLAIM POLICY COVERING RS. 8.00 (EIGHT LAC) FOR ME AND MY SPOUSE WITH ORIENTAL INSURANCE COMPANY FROM LAST 10 YEARS, SOME ONE SUGGESTING ME FOR TOP UP PLAN FOR THE ABOVE POLICY, WILL IT BE HELPFUL. PLEASE ADVICE.
Ans: » Your Existing Health Cover

Maintaining the same mediclaim policy for around 10 years is a strong positive. Continuity can be very useful, especially as you are now 56.

Your present Rs. 8 lakh family cover may be adequate for smaller hospital expenses, but it may not be sufficient for a major hospitalisation in future.

So, considering your age, adding extra health cover is worth evaluating.

» Is a Top-up Helpful?

Yes. A top-up can be a cost-effective way to increase your overall health protection.

A top-up generally works after a specified deductible is crossed. For example, if the deductible is Rs. 8 lakh, the top-up starts paying only after eligible medical expenses cross that level.

Hence, your existing policy and the top-up can work together.

However, please do not select a top-up only because the premium is low.

» Top-up vs Super Top-up

This is an important point.

A normal top-up usually considers the deductible for each claim separately.

A super top-up generally considers the deductible based on total eligible medical expenses during the policy period.

For a family, a super top-up can often provide better practical protection.

Example: Suppose there are two hospitalisations in one year. The first costs Rs. 6 lakh and the second Rs. 5 lakh. A super top-up may consider the total eligible expenses, subject to its policy conditions.

So, compare both structures carefully.

» Do Not Disturb Your Existing Policy

Since you have maintained the existing policy for about 10 years, I would generally not suggest replacing it merely to get a larger cover.

Your existing policy may have valuable continuity benefits and accumulated waiting-period advantages.

First explore increasing protection through an additional top-up or super top-up.

» Important Conditions to Check

Before buying the additional cover, check these points carefully:

– Whether the deductible is individual or family based.

– Whether the deductible applies per claim or annually.

– Waiting periods for pre-existing diseases.

– Room-rent restrictions.

– Co-payment conditions.

– Disease-wise sub-limits.

– Coverage for daycare procedures.

– Cashless hospital network in your city.

– Restoration or refill benefits.

– Whether both you and your spouse are covered under the additional policy.

– Maximum entry age and renewal conditions.

– Whether the additional policy has its own waiting periods.

These conditions can matter more than a small difference in premium.

» Suggested Structure

At age 56, I would prefer a layered health-insurance structure rather than depending only on Rs. 8 lakh.

You can consider:

– Continue your existing Rs. 8 lakh policy.

– Add a suitable super top-up with a meaningful additional cover.

– Keep a separate emergency medical reserve for expenses not fully covered by insurance.

– Review the total family health protection every 2-3 years.

The exact additional cover should depend on your city, spouse age, health history, existing policy terms and premium affordability.

» Final Insights

Your existing 10-year policy is valuable. So, do not surrender or discontinue it without a proper comparison.

Adding a top-up can definitely strengthen your protection. However, I would specifically compare a super top-up also before taking the decision.

At 56, increasing health insurance protection now can give you much better peace of mind for the coming years. The earlier you arrange adequate cover, the better, because health insurance becomes more important as age increases.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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