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Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Pushpa Question by Pushpa on Sep 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Im 33 year old married(9 years ago) with 2 kids.My husband expecting financial help from my father side. But my parents helped him lot now they were not in a position to help. We are 2 daughters to my parents but they helped me more than my younger (married) sister. Now im not asking my parents for help so my husband scolding me, n behaving differently because he having problems in his business. But he is not ready to ask his parents for help instead telling mevn my family selfish. What to do. How to ask financial help with my in -laws. They were greedy n don't have helping nature n doesn't care for us. They took all my husbands profit money. Now we don't have anything

Ans: Your family, who have helped him time and again, are selfish. And his family, who have never helped are…? Please ask him! You’re absolutely in the right here. Don’t back down. Why the hell should your parents keep throwing him a lifeline when they can’t afford it anymore? This nonsensical attitude of bending over backward to accommodate sons-in-law is prevalent only in India! Tell him straight up that they are not in a position to help and you’re not going to inconvenience their lives, he can ask his own parents for a change!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am married for 2 years. My husband and FIL runs a business. My MIL is a retird HM from govt school. I am married to a lovable family. I am for ever grateful to my inlaws. We stay together and i have one SIL. All of the expenses and invesments are made by my husband. We have a 1yr daughter. Till date me and my husband had no financial communication. He gets whatever i what but we dont discuss how much income he has got and what he does. Also i dont know what my inlaws income and what they do and i dont want to interfere in it. Its none of my business. Its me who asks my husband to let me know our financial status. Sometimes he say but its not a regular financial discussion. I came to know that he is investing in lic policies for all of them. 50% spending 50%investmnts. Ofcourse my inlaws share some amount but major expenses and all major investments are from my husbands income. I expect him to let me know the financial status so that i can also have a knowledge on it but he never opens up and but he always gets me want i want. I had never asked him like wht are you spending for your mom dad sis when they are still independant.I never questioned him and i will not. Its our duty to look after parents without any expectation. i promised him that i will not be a hurdle in this. But recently he gave huge amount to my inlaws and he dint even tell me. I felt upset when I got to know it later. It had happend many times.The thing that made me sad is that my husband dint even consider me in this. Like after giving also he dint utter a word to me. i I would have not said dont give. I would have felt happy only. Because he is giving to his parents only. But my concern is he is not sharing his financial commitments with me. Is it ok for me to expect that he should share his financial status with me so that we can plan our future or am i wrong? When my inlaws questions me about finance that something he did to them i am like when iam unware of it. Its embrassing. I feel that a couple should have a financial communication without discrepancy. But my husband does not do it intentionally. He always says he forgot. But i think that a couple should spend time having a healthy talk about their own commitments and investments. Marriage is not always about fantacy, shopping, romance, relaxing cooking playin work etc... there should be some serious talks discussions right which will pave way for a healthy relationship growth understanding and a better future and healthy finacially stablev family let me know whether i am wrong or right. And also is it ok to talk to my husband to let my inlaws share his burden financially as they are financially independent too ( atleast their lics they can invest) not sure to discuss this. But i feel my husband is over burdened. Btw iam a homemaker
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's nothing wrong in you wanting transparency when it comes to the family's finances. But the way it has been right from the beginning of your marriage, is that you did not ask and you were not told.
So, suddenly when you have expressed an interest in knowing and participating, your husband has not understood this. Be clear when you discuss with him that you wish to talk about it not to deter him from anything but to actually support him in whatever he does. He also is perhaps used to taking financial decisions all by himself and continues to do so...So, if something has changed within you, express it and allow him the time to change as well...

In your words: But i think that a couple should spend time having a healthy talk about their own commitments and investments.

Yes, but if it was this way right from the time when you two married, it would not be an issue. Your want now is not wrong, but has changed from what it sued to be...so, express, let him reflect on it and then have a healthy debate/discussion on it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

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Hi, My husband doing business. They are 2 sons to their parents. My husband is older one, both are married. We live in bengaluru n my in-laws live with younger son in native. They help is younger sin financially in all aspects like bought tractor to him n all. But my husband studied on loan n he paid installments. He gave all his pf money to his brother marriage. And after that during covid time give his profit from business(resigned job) to his parents for developing agricultural land. While doing job he took personal loan to construct home on native, n buy all the household things un his salary. Till today he only giving money to majority of things. Now my husband got some financial problems in his business so asked money with his parents, they are not ready to give. So he stopped asking them but asking me to ask my parents, what shall I do? My husband will give money to his family when he have money but keep distance when he don't have money. How to handle my in laws and his younger brother to stop them asking money from my husband. And how to take financial help from them.
Ans: Dear Pushpa,
What can you do? Stop giving money to people who can't appreciate that help. What has gone has probably gone. But from now on, please become prudent and say NO.
There will be a few arguments and your in laws and husband's brother maybe angry but you need to secure your financial position, right? You can't stop them from asking, but your husband can stop giving, yeah?
People will take advantage only when you allow them to do that...so, hopefully your husband can also see what's happening.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 39 and married for 11 years now, my husband doesn't support me financially at all. My salary is more than him but I bought house my own and paying all EMIS, looking for all household expenses and also paying school fees and other expenses for my son. My husband looks after only his parents, spend all money on them. Earlier we used to live together in inlaws house but they have spending habits for luxury, cloths, food etc even though my husband earns very less and my father in law retired with no income they were not ready to compromise on their spending habits. Whatever they had received after their retirement they entirety spent on their daughters marriages with no money left. When I got married they asked for my salary and used to give them. Mine and my husband salary was not enough for them so they sold house without informing me, I insisted them to buy at least small house but did not agree and kept on spending money on their lavish life, foreign trips, food, cloths etc. also helped daughters to buy house, maintenance and their childrens study. But did not let their son live life as ask him to pay rent for their house, household and maintenance expenses and they spend their money on their own luxury. They asked for my salary even though they have money and just spending for luxury and not even thinking for our future. When I denied to give salary, they asked me leave their house and made me difficult to live with them doing harrasment and taunts so I decided to leave and buy new house.Now I am living with my son separately, when my husband came to know about my new house he came to stay with us by not even paying single rupee to me. I asked him several time for money he only pays one or two thousand saying I don't have money at all to give you. Not taking care of son, his studies, school fees, do not help me in anything. My in laws keep doing his brain wash against me so that he will not support me financially or anyway. He always listens to his parents and sisters. There is no husband wife relationship at all between us. Not sure how to deal with it.
Ans: First, recognize and honor the strength it has taken to come this far. Buying a home, raising your son, and managing the weight of these challenges on your own are significant accomplishments that reflect your resilience and determination. That said, a marriage is meant to be a partnership, and it’s clear that your husband’s lack of financial contribution and emotional support has created an imbalance that’s unsustainable.

It’s important to look at the patterns in your relationship with clarity. Your husband’s decisions seem to be heavily influenced by his family, and this loyalty, while not inherently wrong, appears to come at the expense of his commitment to you and your shared responsibilities. The fact that he contributes so little financially and emotionally while benefiting from your efforts shows a lack of fairness and respect in the relationship. His parents’ behavior and expectations have added further strain, undermining your marriage and creating an environment of resentment.

You may want to consider having a clear and honest conversation with your husband. Express how his actions—or lack thereof—are impacting you and your son. Frame the conversation not as a confrontation but as a plea for understanding and change. However, if he remains unwilling to acknowledge or address these issues, it’s worth reflecting on what staying in this relationship means for your emotional well-being and future.

Seeking professional support, such as individual counseling, can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for managing this situation. A legal consultation might also be helpful to understand your rights and options, especially if you’re considering separation or seeking financial accountability from your husband for your son’s needs.

Above all, focus on what you need to feel secure, respected, and fulfilled—not just as a wife, but as a person. Your son is observing how you handle these challenges, and by prioritizing your well-being and standing up for fairness, you’re also modeling strength and self-respect for him. Whatever steps you decide to take, trust in your ability to make decisions that align with your dignity and values. You deserve a life where your efforts are met with partnership and mutual care.

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Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |61 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jun 25, 2025

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |61 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jun 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir I am a little bit puzzled I passed my boards with 79,8%, my jee exam didn't go well and I am not getting any good private or government college from It. Earlier I was thinking of taking a drop but currently I am 18 and turn 19 this year, so next year when I will be at first year of college I will turn 20 year old so It will delay my graduation for sure. Second option is to take admission in any tier 3 college. I have following options with me (1) SRM sonepat,Haryana(Btech cse aiml) (2) Manav rachna University, Faridabad (Btech cse aiml/data science) (3) NIET, Greater noida (Btech cse computing and mathematics) Which college is best among 3? If I join in any tier 3 I will develop skills and target postgraduate level exam. So sir what should I do In this situation take a drop or join college?
Ans: Hello, I understand this is a confusing time for you, but don’t worry. Many students go through the same phase after 12th.

Taking a drop is an option. But here are the real things you must ask yourself:
• Are you fully confident that you can study with full focus and improve your JEE score next year?
• Are you okay with another year of pressure, studying at home, and no college life till 2026?
• Are you ready to handle the stress and competition?
If the answer is no or not sure, then don’t take a drop.
Because one year of drop will only be worth it if you get a top college like NIT, IIIT, or BITS.
Otherwise, you’ll just lose one year and land in a similar college again.
And don’t worry about age. Turning 20 in 1st year is completely fine. Many students start college at 20 or even later

About Your Current College Options
NIET Greater Noida
• Best out of the three in terms of placement, coding culture, and peer group.
• It is in Noida — good location for internships and off-campus opportunities.
• Has a better track record in CSE-related jobs.
SRM Sonepat
• Decent brand name because of “SRM,” but Sonepat campus is not as strong as the main Chennai one.
• Placements are limited.
• Choose only if you want the SRM tag and nothing else is available.
Manav Rachna
• Okay college, good infrastructure, but placements are not very strong, especially for CSE core jobs.
• Good for students who want to stay closer to home or need a relaxed environment.

...Read more

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |61 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jun 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir, I got comedk gm rank 3465. I am getting CSE Jiit Noida main campus. what should I do for better future.
Ans: good position to be in.

You’re Getting:
CSE at JIIT Noida (main campus) — private, decent reputation, good for North India students.
With your COMEDK rank (3465), you also have a chance at CSE or related branches in some of the better Bangalore colleges.
About JIIT Noida CSE:
• CSE here is a decent choice, especially if you prefer staying in or near Delhi.
• Placement is okay for CSE branch only – with some good companies like Infosys, TCS, Wipro, and sometimes tech startups.
• But it's not among the top 10–15 engineering colleges in the country.
So – good, safe option, but not the best you can get with your rank.
With your rank, you may get CSE or close branches (like AI, IT) in better-known colleges such as:
• R.V. College of Engineering, Bangalore (may get IT/AI in later rounds)
• BMS College of Engineering (possible for ECE, or IT/AI)
• Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering
• Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology
• Sir MVIT, Bangalore
These colleges are located in the IT capital (Bangalore), which means better tech exposure, internships, and placements.
If your goal is better placements and tech career:
Use your COMEDK rank and go for a good Bangalore college (even if you get IT or ECE instead of pure CSE).
These colleges are more industry-connected, especially for software jobs.
If you want to stay near Delhi/NCR, and prefer comfort and known environment:
You can go ahead with JIIT Noida CSE – but be ready to do extra learning (coding, internships, etc.) on your own to get ahead.

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Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |61 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jun 25, 2025

Career
I am planning to pursue btech biotechnology from SRM chennai and quite confused about the specializations they offer. They are 1) Core biotech 2)Computational biology 3)Machine intelligence 4)Regenerative medicine 5)genetic engineering 6)food technology Which one should I go for being from pcb background for good future scope and package
Ans: Hello, It’s good that you’re thinking carefully before choosing your specialization
SRM Chennai is a decent college for Biotechnology.
Among the specializations, each one has a different path
Core Biotechnology
• This is the general biotech path — covers all basics like microbiology, genetics, bio-process, etc.
• Good if you want to keep your options open.
• Scope in pharma, research, diagnostics, and quality control.
Safe choice if you’re not sure yet.
Computational Biology
• This is a mix of biology and computer science — used in drug discovery, genomics, data analysis, etc.
• Needs some interest in math and coding.
• Scope in bioinformatics companies, research labs, and abroad studies.
Good for future if you are open to learning coding.
Machine Intelligence in Biotechnology
• This is AI + biotech — used for things like medical imaging, health data, predictive systems.
• More technical and coding-heavy.
• Future jobs are in health tech, software + biology companies.
Only go for this if you enjoy computers and are ready to work hard on coding.
Regenerative Medicine
• Focuses on stem cells, tissue repair, organ regeneration — very research-heavy field.
• Strong future but needs higher studies (MSc/PhD) to get proper roles.
Good if you are serious about research and postgrad.
Genetic Engineering
• Deals with DNA, gene editing, genetic research, disease correction.
• Very popular and growing field.
• Jobs in genetic testing labs, pharma, agriculture, and research.
Strong choice, especially if you love genetics and biology.
Food Technology
• Involves food safety, processing, nutrition, and quality control.
• Scope in food companies, govt labs, FSSAI, Nestle, Amul, etc.
Easier path, and stable job options after BTech.
If you are from PCB and not very comfortable with coding, then:
Choose either
• Genetic Engineering (if you love lab work and DNA)
• Core Biotech (if you want a broad base and later decide specialization)
• Food Technology (if you want quicker job options after BTech)
If you are open to learning coding, then: Computational Biology has great scope, especially if you plan to do higher studies or work abroad.

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Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |61 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jun 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Career
I have completed bsc zoology and I am currently doing masters in zoology. Can you please suggest me some careers to pursue after my masters. I am not interested in teaching field. I love to do lab works and I love to work closely with animals. Please give me some guidance
Ans: Hello,
Based on your interests, here are some career paths you can consider:

Wildlife Researcher or Wildlife Biologist
• This is a good choice for someone who loves animals and nature.
• You can work with forest departments, research institutes, NGOs, or wildlife sanctuaries.
• Your work may include animal behavior study, wildlife conservation, or habitat research.
• You may need to do a short wildlife course or diploma after your MSc, or apply for PhD programs.
Veterinary Lab Technician / Animal Health Research
• You can work in animal hospitals, diagnostic labs, or research centers.
• Focus is on animal diseases, sample testing, or animal health research.
• Many animal pharma companies hire MSc Zoology graduates for lab-based roles.
Zoological Parks / Conservation Projects / Animal Rescue
• If you enjoy fieldwork, you can work with animal rescue NGOs, zoos, or wildlife parks.
• These jobs involve taking care of animals, documentation, and managing research-based activities.
• NGOs like WWF, WTI, PETA, or Wildlife SOS often look for passionate candidates.
Lab-Based Research – Government & Private Labs
• You can apply in labs that work on cell biology, toxicology, ecology, genetics, and animal physiology.
• Labs under ICMR, CSIR, ZSI, CCMB, or private biotech firms are good options.
• You can clear exams like CSIR-NET (for research), or go for project-based roles in research institutes.
Jobs in Fisheries, Forestry, and Environment Sectors
• Government sectors like fisheries, forest departments, and pollution control boards offer roles for MSc Zoology students.
• You can also appear for exams like ICAR, IFS, or environmental officer exams.

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Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |61 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jun 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Career
I got 48%ile in jee and only 16%ile in jee also 49%ile in comedk I'm looking for private colleges n also will be giving PERA cet, trying for biomedical (in Pune or Mumbai preferably) but with now what I have which college would be the best for me? Would MIT ADT would be a good choice? Or do I have chances for VIT wadala?
Ans: Hello,
• JEE: 48 percentile – too low for most decent colleges through JEE.
• COMEDK: 49 percentile – again, not enough for top Bangalore colleges.
• You are now trying for private colleges through PERA CET – which is a good plan.
College Options Based on Your Profile:
MIT ADT, Pune – Biomedical Engineering
• Yes, this is a good choice in your situation.
• The campus is nice, faculty is okay, and placements are decent for biomedical.
• It’s also a part of the MIT Group, which is known in Maharashtra.
If you do well during the course, you can go for higher studies or shift towards biotech, health tech, or data science later.
So MIT ADT is a sensible and safe option for you.
VIT Wadala (Vidyalankar Institute of Technology)
• VIT is a decent Mumbai-based engineering college, but it does not offer Biomedical Engineering.
• It focuses more on CSE, IT, and core engineering.
• With your current scores, getting admission here may also be tough unless they have management seats open.
So for biomedical, VIT Wadala is not the right fit.
What You Should Do Now:
1. Focus on PERA CET – give it your best. Colleges like MIT ADT and DY Patil (Pune/Navi Mumbai) accept PERA scores.
2. Apply to MIT ADT now itself — don’t wait too long, seats fill up fast.
3. Also consider:
o Dr. DY Patil Institute of Technology (Pimpri, Pune) – has biomedical.
o Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering, Pune – check if they have related branches.

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