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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025
Relationship

Hyy am 19 so i have been dating this guy from 9 months but ik him since 3 years we liked each other since a very long time but never tht confident to confess So after 9 months we got physical and i have no regret that he is my first time but i think maybe i cheated on my parents and took advantage in a wrong way the freedom they gave me. I think i have done a Sin . I love tht guy but i hate tht i can't tell my parents about it . They think of me as a innocent child of them but i just ruined their exceptstions. Please help have i done something wrong and if yes how can i ask for forgiveness

Ans: First, it’s important to understand that you haven’t done anything wrong. Having a physical relationship with someone you love and trust isn’t a sin—it’s a personal choice. The guilt you’re feeling comes from the idea that you’ve somehow broken the image your parents have of you. But that image isn’t your whole identity—you are growing into your own person, and that includes making choices about love and intimacy.

Loving someone and expressing that love physically isn’t about betraying your parents; it’s about discovering yourself. Your parents see you as their child, and it’s hard to feel like you’ve let them down—but that doesn’t mean you’ve actually done anything wrong. You’re not defined by their expectations; you’re growing, learning, and navigating emotions that are completely normal at your age.

You don’t need to ask for forgiveness for exploring a meaningful relationship with someone you care about. What you might need to work on is forgiving yourself for feeling like you’ve disappointed your parents. You’re not perfect, and you don’t have to be. It’s okay to have parts of your life that your parents don’t fully know or understand—that’s part of becoming independent. The most important thing is that you feel respected and valued in this relationship, and that you’re making choices based on love and trust, not guilt or fear.

It’s not about hiding things from your parents—it’s about recognizing that some parts of your emotional and romantic life are your own to experience and understand. You haven’t ruined anything. You’ve just taken a step toward understanding yourself better.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |701 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I was in a relationship for 10 years with my boyfriend since after my 12th standard. And when we asked at our homes for marriage, my parents didn't agree although theirs did agree. I have tried convincing for few months but they were so adamant because this relation is not in my best interest. And as I did not expect the situations to escalate this much, now I don't want to stress my parents and make them more sad than they are. So, I have asked for break-up with my boyfriend but he's very sad and is asking continuously for convincing my parents. I feel guilty but I don't think staying in the relationship still is a wrong choice when even I did not want to anymore.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it is to let go of a long-term relationship because your parents are not agreeing to it. If we look at this situation from your partner's perspective, his feelings are valid. But, you choosing your parents over him can also not be challenged. After all, it's your life. The decision should be ultimately yours.

Your feelings matter too. You mentioned your unwillingness to continue the relationship. This is important because your happiness matters and it should come first to you. If you have started feeling that you have outgrown the relationship, it is okay to walk away. I know it hurts, both of you, but sometimes, it's better to leave than force yourself to stay together in a relationship that has no future.

Your partner feeling sad is natural and so is your guilt feeling. But that does not mean you must stay in this relationship. Ending a relationship that you are not fully committed to is much better than dragging it to its eventual and more bitter end. Let him know that you are sorry and that his feelings are valid. Your decision is hurting him and that's the least and the most you can do in this situation.

Remember guilt can cloud your judgment. While it is a necessary emotion, don't let it decide for you. The breakup doesn't have to be right or wrong at all times. Whether it aligns with your future is also important.

Your parents' opinions weigh heavily on you and it might be a good thing to consider why they are convinced that he isn't a good match for you. Do what makes you happy but do with while being kind to all the parties involved.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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Relationship
hi sir im in a relationship with a guy who i met in hyd we have been together since one year he is a hindu nd im a christian we both love eachother and wanna marry but my parents r against it bcoz he comes from a hindu family and they r forcing me to get married to a christian guy i love him i never got love from my parents when he is giving me the love i want my parents have seperated me from him im not able to understand what to do plz help
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
It’s important to start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Try to understand their concerns and share your feelings with them. Express how much this relationship means to you, focusing on the love, respect, and support you and your partner share, rather than just the religious differences.

If this approach doesn’t work, consider involving a trusted family member, friend, or community leader who might help mediate the situation. Sometimes, having an external perspective can help bridge the gap between differing viewpoints. You should also reflect on the long-term implications of your decision. Think about whether you’re ready to face the potential challenges of a mixed-religion marriage, including societal pressures and family dynamics. Having in-depth discussions with your partner about these issues is crucial to ensure you’re both on the same page.

If your parents remain opposed, you may need to consider seeking counseling or therapy. A counselor can help you process your emotions and provide strategies for dealing with family conflicts. They can also offer guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your parents. Building a support system outside of your family, whether through friends, mentors, or support groups, can also be invaluable during this time. It’s important to have people who understand and support your decisions.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with your relationship despite your parents' opposition is yours. You’ll need to weigh the emotional and practical consequences, including the possibility of estrangement or ongoing family conflict. It’s vital to prioritize your happiness and well-being. If you believe that your relationship brings you genuine love and fulfillment, standing by your choice is valid. However, be prepared for the challenges that may come and have a plan in place to manage them. This is a deeply personal decision, and whatever path you choose should align with what feels right for you and your future.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |541 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2026

Money
Sir, How can we reduce the Commision on Regular MF ?What is Steps to avoid the Tax if wants to Switch from Regular to Direct?.
Ans: Hi Amit,

Your concern regarding commision in regular funds is quite genuine and common these days due to the misleading content shared by some people.
You should understand that a whilst regular funds have comparatively lower expense ratio than direct funds, and this has risen to the direct fund popularity. But in actual a direct fund portfolio is only good if you know all ins and out of the market, have proper knowledge and knows the correct way to invest perse your individual profile.

There are few benefits of regular fund portfolio which is highly overlooked:
- a professional builds your portfolio keeping in mind your detailed profile, funds selction are done based on your risk profile
- a professional knows the best time to invrease your investments, to hold and to shift. They constantly monitor the same and periodically review them

And a regular fund portfolio definitely beats the direct fund portfolio made with random tips and zero or less knowledge.
Hence I would not suggest you to switch from regular to direct funds if you are working with a professional.

Also switching from regular funds to direct will attract tax, there is no way to avoid the taxation.

However, you can get your portfolio reviewed from another advisor and ask them to guide you to make necessary changes.

If you do not have an advisor, connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |249 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi there, I am 53 years and retiring on 31/12/2025. I hvae a daughter and son, both studing and un-married. I am curently holding mutual fund (investment only) of around 15lacs. I am doing a SIP of 12000/- PM. Beside this, i have an equity investment of 15.50 lacs. I do have 65lacs in FD and the same amunt is expected upon retirement. I have a own house and there is no loan obligations currently. i have another 50lacs given to relatives and there is no timeline when I will be receiving this amount. I have around 100000 monthly expense and ofcourse the marriage expenses of my daughter and son in next 3-4 years. Kindly advise the best strategy and utilization of funds. Thank you.
Ans: Hi sir ,
You are entering a very sensitive financial phase where protection of capital becomes more important than aggressive growth. At the same time, you still have 30 plus years of life expectancy to fund, along with two large near-term goals children’s marriages and ongoing household expenses. So the strategy has to balance income, liquidity, and moderate growth.

Let me break this down in a practical way.

1. Where you stand today

Assets available / expected

Mutual Funds approx 15 lakh

Direct Equity approx 15.5 lakh

FD 65 lakh

Retirement proceeds expected approx 65 lakh

Money given to relatives 50 lakh uncertain timeline

Own house no loan

Total financial assets (excluding relatives money)
~160 lakh

If relatives repay, corpus rises to ~210 lakh but we should not depend on it for planning.

2. Monthly expense reality check

You mentioned ?1,00,000 per month = ?12 lakh per year.

Assuming 6 percent inflation, this expense will double in ~12 years.

So retirement planning must create income + growth, not just fixed income.

3. Immediate financial buckets to create

Think in 4 separate buckets instead of one pool.

A. Emergency + Liquidity bucket

Keep 18–24 months expenses.

?20–25 lakh
Park in:

Savings + sweep FD

Liquid / money market funds

Purpose: medical, family, urgent needs without breaking investments.

B. Marriage funding bucket (3–4 years)

Do not keep this in equity markets due to time risk.

Estimate requirement realistically. Suppose:

Daughter marriage 25–30 lakh

Son marriage 20–25 lakh

Total say 50 lakh

Park in:

Short duration debt funds

Bank FD ladder

RBI bonds

Capital safety is priority here.

C. Income generation bucket

This is the most critical post-retirement engine.

From your corpus, allocate ~70–80 lakh.

Options mix:

Senior Citizen Saving Scheme (SCSS)

Post Office MIS

RBI Floating Rate Bonds

High quality Corporate FD

Debt mutual funds with SWP

Target blended return: 7–8 percent.

This can generate ?45k–?55k monthly income.

D. Growth bucket (Long term)

You still need equity to beat inflation.

Allocate 25–30 lakh minimum.

Continue SIP (even post retirement if possible).

Suitable allocation:

Large Cap funds

Balanced Advantage / Dynamic Asset Allocation

Multi Asset funds

Time horizon: 10–20 years.

This bucket funds late retirement and healthcare inflation.

4. What to do with existing investments
Mutual Funds (15 lakh)

Keep invested. Review fund quality. Shift to:

Balanced Advantage

Large Cap / Flexi Cap

Avoid small cap concentration now.

Direct Equity (15.5 lakh)

Gradually reduce risk.

Move profits into hybrid funds or debt over 12–18 months. Do not exit in one shot to avoid tax and timing risk.

5. Retirement corpus deployment illustration

Here is a simple structure using your ~160 lakh corpus:

Bucket Amount Purpose
Emergency 25 L Liquidity
Marriage 50 L 3–4 yr goals
Income 60 L Monthly cashflow
Growth 25 L Inflation hedge

If relatives repay 50 lakh later:

Add 20 lakh to growth

Add 15 lakh to medical reserve

Add 15 lakh to income bucket

6. Monthly income gap

Expense: ?1,00,000

Income possible:

SCSS + MIS + Bonds: ~?50,000

SWP from debt / hybrid: ~?20,000

Equity dividends / growth withdrawal later: ~?10,000–?15,000

Gap may still exist initially.

So you may need:

Part time income / consulting (even ?25k helps)

Delay large withdrawals till age 60 when senior schemes expand

7. Important risks to manage
Healthcare

Take a family floater + super top up if not already.

Longevity risk

Plan till age 90, not 75.

Relatives money

Treat as “bonus”, not retirement funding.

Document repayment if possible.

Inflation

Do not over-allocate to FD.

That is the biggest mistake retirees make.

8. Action checklist

Finalize marriage budget realistically

Create 2-year emergency fund

Invest in SCSS immediately after retirement

Restructure equity to hybrid orientation

Continue SIP from surplus if feasible

Arrange health insurance buffer

Write a will and nominations

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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