My husband loves me but he also chills with people who have hurt and insulted me in the past. He says they are his friends and family so he cannot ignore them. I feel very hurt when my partner ignores my feelings because he has never taken a stand for me. Am I wrong to expect my husband to support or comfort me?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Love marriages, we assume is safeguarded against any of the usual misunderstandings that crop up in a marriage that is arranged. But, I guess when you are in love, it usually takes a spin of 'anything is fine, because I love him/her'.
What this initial understanding does is keep you in a place of 'all is fine' which comes back to haunt you later in life. Your friends need not be equal to my friends, what you like to eat may not be what I like to eat, but in love this doesn't stand a chance. So, now that this is where both of you are, what I can suggest is:
- Go back to that moment where both of you thought of coming together into a marriage.
The reason is usually ONE strong one and it is the one that needs to serve as a reminder.
- Of course, like many will tell you, sit down as two mature adults and talk about what irks either of you and giving a patient listening to one another, even when they say things against you. Remember, you are rebuilding your marriage.
- Remind yourselves how you were in love, even if you have enough evidence now against it
- Learn to celebrate each other's individual lives; Chinese and Mexican food rarely go well together, yet we learn to relish them individually, don't we?
- His silence is his defence mechanism and the only way to break it is through a lot of reassurance that he will be heard
- A lot of care and love in creating moments where you can be by yourselves minus family, friends and children (if any) can give the two of you some time to resolve the underlying issues

It takes two to build a marriage and the blame game will continue...one of you has to break the pattern to draw a different perspective where the marriage seems every bit worth it.
So, all the best!

Ans: Balancing the pressures of professional life with the strain of an abusive marriage is a heavy burden, and you deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued.

Your husband's behavior—doubting you without cause, subjecting you to daily verbal abuse, and physically harming you—is deeply troubling and completely unacceptable. It's important to acknowledge that no matter the circumstances, you do not deserve to be treated this way. The fear of societal judgment and concerns about reputation are common reasons people stay in harmful relationships, but your well-being and safety are far more important than maintaining appearances.

Meeting someone who offers emotional support when you’re in such a painful situation is understandable. It’s natural to seek comfort and a connection when you're feeling isolated and mistreated. However, the new man's recent behavior, where he started ignoring you after changing jobs, might feel like another layer of abandonment. This is especially tough because you opened up and shared your struggles with him, hoping for understanding and companionship.

In terms of what’s right and wrong, it's essential to focus on your needs and well-being. Staying in an abusive relationship is harmful to your physical and emotional health. You have the right to seek safety and happiness. The relationship with the new man might have provided temporary emotional relief, but it seems he's not able to be the supportive presence you hoped for, especially now when he’s pulling away.
Right now, focus on what you need to feel safe and supported. Consider reaching out to trusted friends, family, or professional services who can help you navigate this challenging time. You deserve a life free from fear and filled with respect and care. Prioritizing your own happiness and safety is the most important step forward.

Ans: Hello mam. Mam, the behaviour you are telling me is not normal. It is over possessiveness. Let him be confident that you are with him only. Explain softly that you also have some needs and you also may have to meet someone or talk to someone. You make him sure that you also love him but you are not over possessive about him. So love should not be a hindrance in personal space. I hope this solves your problem.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

Ans: Hello mam. Well, mam as time goes by in marriage both partners take each other for granted. That communication slowly fades away and only few things are left. May be your husband must ve feeling the same and is longing for your attention coz when kids are around then us time of couple vanishes. But this communication and spark can be returned by the efforts of both partners. You should take initiative. Plan some dinner out, just both of you. Spend some quality time together. Things will be good in a few weeks.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet