Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2026

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 25, 2026
Relationship

My husband doesn't trust me at all. Ours was an arranged marriage. After our son was born, we stopped being intimate as we got busy in our lives. He used to travel for work and I was managing everything alone. When he was home I would step out to meet my friends or stay up working late thinking he will take care of our son. However, he started doubting me and start following up, stalking me. He would pass comments about the dress I am wearing, the people I meet at work, the clothes I wear etc. At one point it got dirty and disgusting. It's been over a year since we went out or had a sit down conversation. I don't feel like talking to him any more because every conversation leads to arguments like these. He thinks I am having an affair with every guy I meet. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When doubts start to creep into a marriage, then you know that just the two of talking about it may not help. Kindly involve a professional who can work with both of you bring back the trust and rebuild the marriage. Obviously not having enough time together and also not utilizing the available time with each other usefully has caused the marriage to deteriorate.
A professional will guide you aptly here.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

Listen
Relationship
 I have been married for 9 years now with 3 kids. But my husband negates everything I say to him thinking I want to hurt him. When he says something and I try to see it the other way, he sees it as confrontational and also flares up during the conversation. He does not allow me to talk saying he already knows what is in mind. He complaints about everything in the house. In terms of sex, he does not want to know if I am tired or sick.Even though we usually make love at least two times in a week, he talks as if he is denied of his rights. He says any time he wants, he must have it. The main issue now is I’ve noticed he has locked his phone. I know he has a date with someone because he told me he has a concert to attend and won't be coming home that night. When I asked if I could go with him, he said No. Now that I have also locked my phone, he's accusing me of infidelity.
Ans:

Dear RT,

He’s playing the cool guy who wants it all and when doesn’t get it wants to act all hurt and instead of taking responsibility of his emotions finds it convenient to blame you and make you feel guilty for not fulfilling his emotional and physical needs.

How do you solve something like this? Kindly ask him to speak to someone who can make him see sense else all you will do is clean up the mess caused by his baseless emotions.

This will be the constant pattern until he realises that his self-esteem and self-worth are not something that others can create for him.

If he refuses external help, do ask a person close to him to drive some sense into his thoughts where he sees an alternate perspective.

To keep your sanity intact, dissociate from his emotions and start behaving like they don’t impact you; over time you will realise that he is just trying to be a child asking for your attention in an inappropriate way.

Take time our for yourself to indulge in a lot of self-care and self-love that will go a long way in managing your emotions and self-worth as well.

Depending on him for your sanity at this point in time is like hitting your head against the wall.

So, be right to yourself from this moment on and make sure that you spend a lot of time nurturing the children as much as you nurture yourself.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

Relationship
Hello Anu ma’am, I’m 30 years old female, working at an IT firm. I have been married for a year now. The marriage with my husband was arranged by our family members. I met him 2 months before we got married. We talked more during that period and the conversations were always pleasant and I felt care in them and finally made the decision that he is my match. Once we got married, things were good-to-okay in the first few months. I used to live with my in-laws and slowly noticed that he is moving away little by little. My connection with him started to feel weak. He and his mother would stop talking when I entered the room. I had to help more with house chores. I tried quite a lot to keep up with in-laws, husband, and work but soon sensed that mother in law and son have teamed up against me and everything I did was never satisfactory. The first thing that came up to my mind was to move out of the house with my husband and to start our relationship afresh. He didn’t like the idea and for my work reasons, I moved out and to the city where I work (which is a 3-hour drive from where he lives). This made the connection even worse. I used to go see him once or twice in a month but the relationship felt strained so I moved back within 3 months. Around this time he downloaded some dating apps on his mobile. When I asked him about it he said he downloaded out of curiosity and didn’t use it, but I can feel the change in him. Within 2 months I started to realise he’s being secretive with his phone or iPad and is spending a lot of time with them either texting or calls. I also noticed that he is talking to someone during the night while he is sleeping next to me. I felt betrayed and shattered to my core. All the things I learnt for him, all the things that I have done for him and his family, all the time and energy I have spent felt useless. When I confronted him he never accepted it and says it’s all in my head. I gave him some time leaving it aside thinking he would bounce back once he is done with it. So I asked him to move in with me so we could bond and spend time alone. We moved in together finally but things didn’t go as I expected. When I leave for work he would either go meet the woman or worse bring her home. He continued it and I ran out of patience. I talked about it with my family and his. My family supports my decision with whatever I would want to do and his family would back him up saying that they have brought their son up my utmost values and he wouldn’t do such a thing. So finally they have sent us back to our homes hoping things will be fine. He still talks to the woman every night and God knows how many times I cannot make it out in the day time. I’m sorry it’s a long read for you but I wasn’t sure what to express and what not to, for you to help me with a suggestion.I have tried to catch his act using technology but he is too clever to be caught. Trust me, I’m a tech lead at an IT firm and I have tried a lot of methods to catch him but all of them are valid-invalid proofs and he is quite a story teller to make them all look null.I feel nothing inside most of the times and simply want to come out of this but not without showing his true form. For once, I want to win. Win huge this way. If you can help me out I will be grateful for that. Please keep me anonymous if you could.Thanks a lot for reading this.
Ans:

Dear TK,

Thank you for sharing so clearly; it certainly helps me guide in the best possible manner.

If you feel that he is infidel, the there is no necessity to go around looking for proof.

What will proving that give you?

Even if you showed it all to his parents what is the guarantee that they will not turn it around and blame you for it?

That you should not have moved out and that’s why he needed the comfort of other women.

Quit focusing on proving his infidelity and focus on more what you want at this point in time.

Do you want to continue in this marriage?

If NO, exit in the most graceful manner because the stress from all the pulling down or Win that you are looking for is strenuous and of no use. It will only appease your EGO which anyway is short-lived.

But of course, if you are in the process of negotiating terms during divorce proceedings; this proof maybe valuable to have a better WIN. I hope I have succeeded in differentiating both types of WINs so you get a clearer picture.

Now coming to how you must deal with your mind space is as simple as listing down what is important to you.

Is it dwelling on what he does or emphasizing more on what you can do?

When it’s the latter, you will think and act in a manner that looks out for you and how you can keep yourself in an optimum mind space.

So, start focusing on what makes you happy and stick to that.

When you are ready to move on, make it graceful and if there seems to be a problem with negotiation, the proof that you have collected with a sane sense of mind will come in handy.

I assume that there are no children involved but if there are, take into consideration how they will cope with any decision of yours.

Bottom Line: Learn to live your life and focus on what’s important. I am confident that you can do this NOW.

All the best for a beautiful mind space!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu, I would like to discuss about a problem in my married life with you. Me and my husband had a love marriage 21 years ago. Before our marriage also my husband had many relationships and affairs but since he was very true about everything and he promised to change things, we married. Though, our family was a happy one and we have two grown up kids also, everything seems OK from outside. But actually, my husband has had many affairs after our marriage also. He has never left his habit of impressing females around him, it may be his colleagues or some common friends etc.. and I always come across some or the other female in his life. Some of the affairs have been so serious that they even went ahead and spent days and nights together. Every time, I discover some affair, he admits his mistake and tells me to move on, but he never believes in correcting his mistakes and either continues with the affair or finds a new partner. I have lost all trust in him but since I am not earning and have two grown up kids and also love him a lot, can't think of separation. I have tried confronting him though but he gets angry always and blames me for spoiling our family life and not moving on. Also, would like to accept that he is very supportive in family matters, loves his family a lot, is very dedicated to his work and to his kids, he is very empathetic towards people, helps everyone but needs his own space too. I am completely confused about what should I do. I am unable to trust him for anything and we keep arguing over smallest things. Hope you will reply to me. Thanks.
Ans: Dear TT, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Since you want to continue in the marriage, that choice is something I presume that has emerged after a lot of thought and I respect it.

The way this marriage will work is communicate clearly to him that his philandering ways have to stop as it is affecting you and the marriage.

If this doesn’t work, he seriously needs help in dealing with this…sometimes people don’t realise that they are jeopardizing their marriages.

I am not defending him but simply stating that sometimes people get themselves into a trap of not so useful situations and quite don’t know how to get out of it.

Also, what he might gain from so many extra marital relationships is something that he needs to find in other ways rather than swaying outside of the marriage.

This requires him to work with an expert as he will most likely not yield to your requests like in the past. Mere talking will not be enough; he possibly needs intensive therapy.

This will help him reunite with his family that he loves so much and he can be around completely without having to seek pleasure outside eroding the foundation of marriage.

As he seems to get better, it’s time for you to live your life as well, right?

What is it that you haven’t done in years? What is it that you gave up after marriage or after having kids?

What excites you enough for you to step up for yourself and create your own happiness? Simply DO THAT.

This will help you get back on your feet; who knows you might discover something that actually may end up becoming a money generator as well!

I wish you the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, my husband has been talking to my maid from last 3 years. Also, helped her for raising funds for her daughter's marriage without my knowledge. However, I caught him through his phone. That maid called him every now and then. They spoke for hours without my knowledge. Last time also the same thing happened but he promised me it will not happen again, hence I let it pass. Last time though his phone statement I caught him after which they started talking through what's app call. My husband is apologizing me and saying he didn't had a physical relationship with her and this will not happen again. I completely lost my trust on him. I didn't had intimacy from last 2 years and now after knowing this whenever he comes close I feel disgusted with his touch. I am the major contributor to the family financially. After doing so much for him and supporting him though his rough patch, this is what I got from him. I feel shattered now, what should I do? please help ????
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly this is not the first time that your husband has been involved in 'something on the side'.
When he shows no remorse and no willingness to change his ways, obviously he's seeking a lot of validation from external sources. In this case, it happens to be the maid. (I hope you have sacked the maid already!).

Obviously with repeated instances of him going back on his word, the trust factor is in question. Does he even care? Your marriage is in a place where you must now either work on putting it back OR give him an ultimatum. What will work in your case, is something that only you will know...
Time to bring your husband to his senses; which means perhaps involving a professional to guide you. You may have to go at this by yourself, seek help in managing your husband and his waywardness. Then your husband will be roped in to deal with his deep down need for validation and succumbing to it over and over again. Then you can begin to function as a single unit towards making the marriage work. This looks like a lot to go through BUT the decision is yours.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 28, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello sir, we have completed 8 months of marriage and still my husband has trust issues about me, like I would have relation or contact with other person but I'm not having any relationship with anyone after marriage and even not connecting to anyone nor any ex person called or contact me from any media or app, . Since then I'm trying to clear my husbands doubt every time he asks me about it ...plzz tell me how do I make him to trust me .
Ans: The first thing to consider is that trust is something that takes time to build, and it is not something you can simply “prove” by answering his questions or explaining yourself over and over again. Trust is a process that requires consistent actions over time, and both partners need to contribute to that process. While you’re being open and transparent, it’s also important that your husband acknowledges that trust is a two-way street. He may have unresolved issues or past experiences that make it difficult for him to feel secure, and these need to be addressed if you want to move forward in a healthy way.

One of the challenges you face is the need for patience—both with him and with yourself. Reassuring your husband is important, but it’s equally important to create a space for deeper conversations about the root of his insecurities. Have you been able to sit down with him and gently ask what specifically triggers his doubts? You may want to approach this from a place of curiosity and care, without getting defensive. Understanding the underlying causes of his fears can give you both a clearer sense of how to work together to address them.

At the same time, it’s important to set emotional boundaries for yourself. While you want to support your husband, you shouldn’t feel like you need to constantly prove your loyalty or justify your actions. If you find yourself repeating the same explanations or feeling pressured to give constant reassurances, it can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to acknowledge his fears, but also to let him know that trust is something that needs to be built over time, and you need space to nurture the relationship without feeling constantly questioned.

In cases where trust issues persist despite your best efforts, it can sometimes be helpful to involve a third party, like a therapist or counselor. It may feel intimidating or unnecessary at first, but professional help can provide a neutral space for both of you to explore deeper issues—whether they are related to past experiences, emotional insecurities, or patterns of behavior. A counselor can also guide you in having more productive conversations and finding healthier ways to cope with these challenges as a couple.

Finally, remember that this process is not just about reassuring your husband, but also about protecting your own emotional wellbeing. You are not responsible for his insecurities, and while you can support him, you also deserve a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and trusted. It’s important to take care of your emotional health, too, and to know that you deserve a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Healing takes time, and while the journey may not be easy, with the right support and communication, it is possible for both of you to work through this.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |136 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2026
Career
I have taken a 12th-grade drop year, and this year I have to take admission. But my parents are not supporting me. Last year also, because of all these issues, my admission got delayed, and this year again, no one in my family is taking it seriously. They don't allow me to meet anyone or even go outside the house. They don't even let me go to the terrace. They keep saying, "Whatever you want to achieve, do it from home. People who really want to succeed can do it from anywhere." I don't have any problem studying from home. In fact, after my drop year, I started preparing for CA, and everything was going well initially. But after a few months, my mother started taking away my phone. She wouldn't let me talk to anyone, go outside, or even step onto the terrace. Along with that, there was a lot of mental and emotional abuse. My mother uses extremely abusive and degrading language toward me, and it has become very difficult for me to handle. Because of the constant verbal abuse and emotional stress, I often can't concentrate on my studies. Whenever I study peacefully for two days, the same traumatic cycle starts all over again the next day. This only happens to me in my family. I am the only daughter after my two elder brothers. I can't even share these things with anyone because none of my friends have to go through anything like this. Sometimes, if I simply go to the terrace, my mother starts shouting at me and uses extremely abusive language. Even if I use my phone only for studying, I am not allowed to keep it. I can't even talk to someone to refresh my mind or reduce stress, and I'm not allowed to meet my friends or go outside either. Sometimes, it becomes so overwhelming that I feel like I don't want to live in this house anymore. I feel trapped, emotionally exhausted, and completely isolated. All I want is a peaceful environment where I can study, focus on my future, and live with basic freedom and dignity.
Ans: Hi!!

I want you to understand that your desire to study, build a career and have some basic freedom is absolutely justified. You are not asking for too much. You are asking for an environment where you can concentrate on your studies, take decisions about your future and live with dignity.

From what you have shared, I feel your problem is not your ability to study or your willingness to work hard. You have already proved that you can prepare for CA and stay focused when things are going well. The real concern here is the environment in which you are expected to study.

You really need to understand that a peaceful mind is essential for effective learning. When you are constantly exposed to shouting, abusive language and emotional stress, it becomes difficult to concentrate, regardless of how determined you are to succeed. So please don't blame yourself for struggling with your studies. You are trying to focus on your future while simultaneously dealing with a very distressing situation at home.
Having said that, I would like you to think about something important. Your education and your future cannot remain on hold because of the circumstances you are facing today. You have already lost valuable time because of delays in admission, and I don't want you to lose another year waiting for things to improve on their own.
You need support, and you need to take practical steps towards securing your future.
First, identify a trusted adult who can understand your situation and help you. It could be a relative, a teacher, a former school counsellor or another responsible person you feel comfortable approaching. Please don't assume that nobody will understand you simply because your friends may not be experiencing the same difficulties. You don't have to deal with this alone.

Second, make your admission a priority. Find out the courses available to you, the eligibility requirements, the deadlines and the documents you need. If you cannot manage the process independently, seek help from a trusted adult who can guide you. You need a concrete plan rather than being caught in the same cycle of conflict and uncertainty.

Third, please understand that respecting your parents does not mean accepting abusive behaviour as something you deserve. You can love your family and still recognise that certain words and behaviours are hurting you. You don't have to fight or argue with your mother to prove your point. When things become heated, try to avoid escalating the situation and prioritise your emotional and physical safety.

And finally, please don't isolate yourself emotionally. You need someone with whom you can talk openly, someone who can listen without judging you. If the situation at home continues to feel unbearable, a counsellor or a trusted adult outside the family can help you work through it and explore safe options.

Remember, this difficult phase of your life does not define your future. You have ambitions, you want to study, and you want to become independent. Hold on to those goals, but don't feel that you have to achieve everything through sheer willpower while dealing with this distress alone.

Your future matters. Your mental well-being matters. And you deserve to live with dignity.

I would like to ask you two important questions -
* First, are you physically safe at home, or has the abuse ever become physical?
*Second, is there any trusted relative, teacher or other adult who could help you with your admission process?
I am asking because I want you to have advice that is practical for your situation, not just words of encouragement

Tc ! Best wishes always..

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |136 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Career
I studied in an English-medium school, but during school and college most of my friends and even teachers were more comfortable speaking Hindi, so that became my natural communication language. Now after many years, I work in an office where English is used much more regularly. I can understand English and I can write basic things, but when I have to speak suddenly, I sometimes struggle to find the right words. Even for a simple question to a colleague, I first rehearse the sentence in my mind two or three times before saying it. If someone suddenly asks me something in English, I sometimes fumble even though I know what I want to say. I also depend quite a lot on ChatGPT to help me frame emails, messages and sometimes even replies because I worry about making grammar mistakes or sounding less professional. Recently, a new girl joined our office who speaks very confidently in English and seems more comfortable talking to people who are also very fluent or part of what feels like an ‘elite’ group. She does speak with us, but not as much, and sometimes I become more conscious about my own English when I see how naturally she communicates. I know everyone has a different communication style, but this has made me wonder whether my lack of fluency is affecting how people perceive me at work. How can I improve my spoken English and workplace communication so that I can speak spontaneously and confidently without mentally preparing every sentence first?
Ans: Hi!!!
First of all, you need to understand that being fluent in English does not necessarily mean being a good communicator. Communication is about how effectively you express your thoughts, ideas and feelings, and not merely about the language you speak.
From what you have shared, I feel your problem is not that you don't know English, but that you have become conscious of your English. The more you worry about making grammatical mistakes or using the wrong words, the more you hold yourself back. And the more you hold yourself back, the less opportunity you give yourself to become fluent.
You really need to ask yourself this question: Am I more concerned about communicating my thoughts, or about how people will judge my English? The moment you start worrying about the latter, you shift your focus from what you want to say to how you should say it. That is where the hesitation begins.
Remember, you don't have to speak perfect English to communicate confidently. You need to be clear, comfortable and willing to express yourself. Even people who speak English very fluently make grammatical mistakes, fumble for words and struggle to articulate their thoughts at times. It is perfectly normal!
So, what do you need to do?
Start speaking in English more often, even when you know your sentences may not be perfect. Don't rehearse every sentence in your mind before speaking. Allow yourself to think and speak at the same time. Initially, you may fumble, pause or use simpler words, but that is absolutely fine. Fluency comes with practice, not with the constant fear of making mistakes.
Make English a part of your everyday life. Speak to your colleagues in English, participate in conversations, share your opinions in meetings and practise expressing your thoughts aloud. Read aloud, listen to good English speakers and try summarising what you have read or heard in your own words. These small, consistent efforts will help you develop greater spontaneity and confidence.
And about using ChatGPT to frame your emails and messages — there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a tool to improve your communication. However, don't let the tool become a substitute for your own ability to think and express yourself. Try drafting your message first, and then use ChatGPT to refine it. Observe the changes, understand why they were made and gradually incorporate those learnings into your own communication.
As far as the new girl in your office is concerned, please don't allow her fluency to become a yardstick against which you Hi!!!
First of all, you need to understand that being fluent in English does not necessarily mean being a good communicator. Communication is about how effectively you express your thoughts, ideas and feelings, and not merely about the language you speak.
From what you have shared, I feel your problem is not that you don't know English, but that you have become conscious of your English. The more you worry about making grammatical mistakes or using the wrong words, the more you hold yourself back. And the more you hold yourself back, the less opportunity you give yourself to become fluent.
You really need to ask yourself this question: Am I more concerned about communicating my thoughts, or about how people will judge my English? The moment you start worrying about the latter, you shift your focus from what you want to say to how you should say it. That is where the hesitation begins.
Remember, you don't have to speak perfect English to communicate confidently. You need to be clear, comfortable and willing to express yourself. Even people who speak English very fluently make grammatical mistakes, fumble for words and struggle to articulate their thoughts at times. It is perfectly normal!
So, what do you need to do?
Start speaking in English more often, even when you know your sentences may not be perfect. Don't rehearse every sentence in your mind before speaking. Allow yourself to think and speak at the same time. Initially, you may fumble, pause or use simpler words, but that is absolutely fine. Fluency comes with practice, not with the constant fear of making mistakes.
Make English a part of your everyday life. Speak to your colleagues in English, participate in conversations, share your opinions in meetings and practise expressing your thoughts aloud. Read aloud, listen to good English speakers and try summarising what you have read or heard in your own words. These small, consistent efforts will help you develop greater spontaneity and confidence.
And about using ChatGPT to frame your emails and messages — there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a tool to improve your communication. However, don't let the tool become a substitute for your own ability to think and express yourself. Try drafting your message first, and then use ChatGPT to refine it. Observe the changes, understand why they were made and gradually incorporate those learnings into your own communication.
As far as the new girl in your office is concerned, please don't allow her fluency to become a yardstick against which you measure yourself. She may be more comfortable speaking English, but that does not make her more intelligent, more capable or a better professional than you. Everyone has a different background, different experiences and a different starting point.
Stop comparing, start practising and, most importantly, stop underestimating yourself.
You have already identified what you need to improve, and that is the first step towards change. Now, give yourself the opportunity to work on it without being overly critical of yourself.
Remember, the objective is not to impress people with your English. It is to express yourself with confidence, clarity and conviction.
When you stop trying to speak perfect English and start focusing on communicating effectively, you will gradually find your voice!

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |136 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Career
I recently received feedback at work that I should be more assertive. The strange part is that I don’t consider myself shy - I speak when I have something to say and I’m quite comfortable with my colleagues. But the problem comes when I have a different opinion from someone senior. For example, last week during a team meeting, my manager suggested doing something in a particular way. I could clearly see one issue with the approach and had a different suggestion in mind, but when it was my turn to speak, I said something like, ‘Yes, that should be okay, maybe we can try it,’ instead of clearly explaining what I actually felt. Later, I discussed the same point with a colleague and realised I had actually been right about the concern, but by then the decision was already made. This happens with me quite often - I don’t want to sound argumentative or disrespectful, so I automatically soften my words and sometimes end up agreeing even when I genuinely have another opinion. How can I become more assertive in these situations, speak confidently to senior people and put forward a different viewpoint without coming across as rude, aggressive or overconfident?
Ans: Hi!!

*Being assertive does not mean being aggressive or disrespectful* It means expressing your thoughts and feelings confidently and respectfully!

If you hesitate to disagree, consider whether you fear judgment, offending the person, or challenging their authority! Identifying the cause can help you address it. Respecting someone’s position does not require agreeing with every opinion; your perspective may reveal something they have overlooked.

When you have a concern, pause, organise your thoughts, and state them clearly. For example: *“I understand your approach\. However, I have a concern we may want to consider before proceeding.”” You can be polite without being apologetic and respectful without being submissive.

Practise expressing your views in smaller situations. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but confidence will grow with experience.Trust your judgement and speak up when your input matters. You can disagree with someone without disrespecting them—that is true assertiveness!

Remember assertiveness is about respecting yourself and the other person equally! Understanding that you have as much right to express your opinion as the other person .

...Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |86 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 28, 2026
Relationship
I’m facing a small but recurring issue with my wife when it comes to money. I’m naturally more of a saving person—I like keeping some money aside for future expenses, emergencies, children’s needs and other things that may come up unexpectedly. My wife, on the other hand, feels that if we can comfortably afford something now, there is no point in always postponing it just to save more. It’s not that either of us is irresponsible with money, and thankfully we don’t have any major financial problems, but this difference in our thinking keeps coming up every few weeks. Sometimes it starts with something as simple as buying something for the house or planning a holiday and then turns into a discussion about our overall spending habits. I don’t want her to feel that I’m controlling how she spends her money, and at the same time, I don’t want to feel guilty for wanting to save. How can couples with very different financial habits find a middle ground and decide together how much to spend, save and keep aside for the future without making money become a regular source of tension in the marriage?
Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health. Coming to your question, financial management remains a little sensitive topic specially when both members are earning.
You both have different habits and different thinking in terms of financial management and I think both are correct. The only thing with which the things can be sorted out is that you both sit and discuss and mutually come to a specific percentage of income which should be saved and which should be kept aside for holidays or for home fund. This way you both will clearly know and then you will not have problem in spending or saving.
I hope this solves your problem.
All the best..take care !!

...Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |86 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 28, 2026
Relationship
I’m a little confused about how I should handle situations involving my husband and his parents. Whenever they have an argument or disagreement, I usually prefer to stay quiet because I feel that if I get involved, the situation could become even more complicated. I don’t want his parents to feel that I’m trying to create a distance between them, and I also don’t want to say something in the heat of the moment that I may regret later. But after the argument is over, my husband sometimes tells me that he expected me to support him because I’m his wife. From my point of view, supporting him doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with him or taking his side every time, especially when I don’t know the complete context of their disagreement. At the same time, I can understand why he may feel hurt if he thinks I’m simply standing by and watching when he needs me. How should to handle these situations when disagreements with in-laws keep creating tension in the marriage? Is there a healthy way for a spouse to show support without automatically taking sides or disrespecting the other family members?
Ans: Hello mam. I hope you are in good health.
Well, coming to your question, you can definitely take your partner's side by understanding the things on which the disagreements happen. For example you disagree with your partner at a specific point of time, in public you should try to calm the situation and take his side if possible but after that in private you can share your opinion and correct him if he is wrong somewhere. This way he ll feel that yes you support him but on the other hand he ll also realize that where he went wrong. Probably the situations will get better with this.
I really appreciate your nature that you don't want to disrespect other family members. Its very good and shows your upbringing and your intent of maintaining relationships.
Keep it up...take care !!

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11482 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2026

Money
Hi ..I have registered a app called finsolalgo They told I got allocation for ipo which I kept 1 lac prev but they asked I need to pay 6lac ...which I couldn't pay...now they blocked my one lac saying as I didn't pay full allocation my amount blocked for 3 months but am not getting fater 3 months who will release my funds and all am feeling bad to believe them...now wat should I do ...finsolalgo is this company registered with sebi when I asked they told s we registered we have ruled and regulations ...that's y blocked like that ..wat should I do now
Ans: It is good that you have stopped and are checking this before paying another Rs.6 lakh.

Based on what you have described, I would be very cautious. The process you were told about does not look like the normal IPO application process.

» How a genuine IPO application normally works

In a normal IPO, the application money is blocked in your own bank account through ASBA or an approved UPI mandate.

If shares are allotted, the required amount is debited.

The remaining blocked amount is released after the allotment process. SEBI describes this process clearly.

A company or app normally cannot simply say:

– You paid Rs.1 lakh.

– You received an allocation of Rs.7 lakh.

– You must arrange another Rs.6 lakh.

– Otherwise your original Rs.1 lakh will remain blocked for 3 months.

That is a major point requiring verification.

» About the Rs.1 lakh being blocked

First check where exactly the Rs.1 lakh is blocked.

If it is genuinely blocked in your own bank account under an IPO ASBA/UPI mandate, contact your bank immediately and ask:

– Who has placed the mandate?

– What is the IPO name?

– Who is the sponsor bank?

– What is the application number?

– What is the registrar's name?

– What is the UPI mandate reference?

Do not depend only on what the FinsolAlgo app or its representatives are telling you.

If the money was actually transferred to a bank account controlled by the app/company/person, the situation is more serious. Do not send the additional Rs.6 lakh merely to release the earlier Rs.1 lakh.

» Is FinsolAlgo SEBI registered?

I checked the SEBI recognised-intermediary information available currently.

I could not verify a SEBI registration under the name "FinsolAlgo" from the information available to me.

This does not by itself prove that the entity is fraudulent. The legal entity name may be different from the app or trade name.

So ask them for:

– Exact legal company name.

– SEBI registration number.

– Category of SEBI registration.

– Registered office address.

– Name of the stock broker/intermediary handling the IPO application.

Then independently verify these details on SEBI's recognised intermediary records. SEBI maintains a searchable list of registered intermediaries.

Do not accept a statement such as "we are SEBI registered and we have our own rules" as proof.

» What you should do now

I would suggest these steps in this order:

– Do NOT pay the additional Rs.6 lakh.

– Do NOT pay any "release fee", "penalty", "tax", "processing charge" or similar amount.

– Do NOT share your OTP, UPI PIN, bank password or other banking credentials.

– Take screenshots of the entire conversation with FinsolAlgo.

– Save the payment receipt for the Rs.1 lakh.

– Save the IPO allocation message and all documents they provided.

– Contact your bank directly through its official customer-care channel.

– Ask the bank whether there is actually an IPO-related ASBA/UPI block on your Rs.1 lakh.

– If the bank confirms that no genuine IPO mandate exists, immediately inform the bank that you suspect an unauthorised or potentially fraudulent transaction.

– If money has already gone to another bank account, inform your bank immediately and ask about the appropriate fraud-reporting process.

» Do not wait for three months

I would not simply wait for three months based on their verbal assurance.

If this is a genuine IPO, there should be proper documentation and an identifiable IPO process.

There should also be a recognised intermediary, sponsor bank, registrar and application details.

The normal IPO process does not depend merely on an app telling you that your money will be released after three months. SEBI's own explanation says that funds are blocked for the IPO process and are subsequently debited or unblocked based on allotment.

» My assessment

The requirement to arrange another Rs.6 lakh after supposedly getting a Rs.7 lakh allocation is the biggest concern here.

Please do not try to recover the Rs.1 lakh by paying another Rs.6 lakh.

That can increase your exposure substantially.

Your immediate priority should be to establish where the Rs.1 lakh actually sits and whether there is a genuine IPO mandate.

If you share the exact message received from FinsolAlgo about the Rs.7 lakh allocation and the Rs.6 lakh payment, I can examine the wording and tell you which parts look normal and which parts are red flags.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |3317 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Oct 08, 2026

Career
I am a student and NEET aspirant. I appeared for Class 10 in 2024 and passed Class 10 in 2024. I completed and passed Class 12 in 2026. I also appeared for NEET (UG) 2026, including the re-examination, but unfortunately I could not qualify for admission. My Class 12 marks are relatively low, although I have successfully passed Class 12 in 2026. Therefore, I am considering appearing for the Class 12 Improvement Examination in 2027 to improve my marks. I would like to kindly ask for clarification regarding the following: Since I have already passed Class 12 in 2026, am I eligible to appear for the Class 12 Improvement Examination in 2027? If I improve my Class 12 marks in 2027, will I remain eligible to appear for NEET (UG) 2027? Will appearing for the Class 12 Improvement Examination in 2027 create any issue during NEET counselling or MBBS admission if I qualify NEET 2027? Will my one-year gap after Class 12 (2026–2027), due to preparing for NEET, cause any problem in NEET eligibility or during MBBS admission? If improvement is permitted, which Class 12 marks/marksheet would be considered for NEET 2027 eligibility and admission?
Ans: HI ALAM,
GREETINGS FROM THE REDIFFGURUS!
The Advantages of NEET:

* NO UPPER AGE LIMIT
* UNLIMITED ATTEMPTS for HSC
* UNLIMITED ATTEMPTS FOR NEET
* A MINIMUM AGGREGATE PERCENTAGE OF 50% (varying by category) IS SUFFICIENT TO QUALIFY FOR NEET (except for AIIMS)
* ASPIRANTS CAN PRESENT DIFFERENT BOARD EXAM MARK SHEETS.

Due to these factors, the number of NEET aspirants is higher compared to other exams.

If you have the required marks to appear for NEET, you can proceed with your preparation. As you mentioned that your HSC marks are low (specifics not disclosed), focus on strengthening your weak subjects to help you achieve your goal. Simply aiming for improvement is not enough; you need to make significant progress.

You are planning to take the improvement exam for your marks. While preparing for this, it is essential to enhance your understanding of the subjects that are also relevant for NEET. There is a possibility that you might achieve the same level of marks you previously obtained in HSC if you do not make substantial improvements. Therefore, concentrate on honing the subjects necessary for NEET as well.

BEST WISHES.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x