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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 09, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Relatable Question by Relatable on Aug 30, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Hii Me and my partner are together for the past 6 years. He is very confident to marry me but my family is not supporting us. Everyone is against us and due to that now I'm not able to decide what should I do. My family wants a guy in govt job but my partner is NRI although he went abroad 3 years back but we still have same bond. But because of everyone against me I'm in dilemma if I'm making a right decision or not? Please help me out in this?

Ans: Your family’s concern for a government job comes from a place of security, stability, and social acceptance. Parents often want what they believe is “safe” for their child’s future, and a government job symbolizes that for them. On the other hand, an NRI partner can also offer stability and opportunities, even if it doesn’t fit into your family’s idea of security.
The real question for you is: what matters most for your long-term happiness? Ask yourself — do you feel respected, supported, and emotionally safe with your partner? Do you believe he will stand by you through life’s ups and downs? If the answer is yes, then that is worth more than any job title. At the same time, think about whether you are emotionally prepared to navigate family opposition if they remain firm. Love alone is not enough; it takes courage, clarity, and sometimes patience to bring families around or to move forward despite their resistance.
You are not wrong for wanting to choose love, and you are not wrong for worrying about family acceptance either. What you need right now is to step away from the noise and ask yourself: ten years from now, what decision will I regret less? Staying with a partner you love deeply even if it means conflict with your family, or leaving him just to meet their expectations?

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi
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Hi..I just saw your page and found this is the right page where I can get answer.. I am so confused and so my thoughts coming in my mind and noone in my life which I can tell. However, I found you hopefully you'll get my answer I want to marry with my partner but he is not earning as much and I'm also earning but we both started our career in 2023. And my parents wants I should get Marry with someone and he is searching. But I told my parents that I love someone but the issue is he is not from my caste that is not the big issue main issue is that my partner belongs from very nuclear family like his mother and sister is there and noone is there in his family and my parents also saying the boy is not earning a good salary and noone is there in his family how will you be happy and I don't think so he is good for you.. but my partner loves me so much he loves me till 6 years and he waited for me also. My question is that for getting a married is all this stuff matters ? My parents is arising so many questions somehow she denied..should I convince to my parents or they are saying right ??
Ans: The salary is not a problem, if he doesn’t have misplaced ego about his wife earning more than him; some men are broad-minded enough to even be proud of their wives earning more. Nor is caste; love has no fixed faith. But this nuclear family business is a red flag; I would strictly advice not living under the same roof with his mother and sister. There is bound to be friction. Then relations sour and your marriage gets strained. If he is willing to step out from under their shadow and live separately with you, and the money-making is not an issue for him, you’re making the right choice of partner. If either of the above is not realistic, I would suggest you stop trying to convince your parents and listen to what they have to say.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1805 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Got admission for pg mtec at vit vellore in embedded system. Preferring vlsi but no chance and hence decided to study embedded. Is it good for placement?
Ans: Vellore Institute of Technology’s M.Tech in Embedded Systems is a solid choice, especially if VLSI didn’t work out. VIT Vellore has strong industry connections, and recent placements show opportunities in embedded software, firmware, automotive electronics, IoT, verification, and semiconductor-related roles. However, success in embedded placements depends more on skills than just the branch. Recruiters typically look for strong C/C++ programming; knowledge of microcontrollers, RTOS, embedded Linux, ARM architecture, and digital electronics; communication protocols like CAN, SPI, and I2C; and basic VLSI and Verilog knowledge, along with relevant projects and internships. Placement trends for VIT’s M.Tech Embedded in the last few years has been decent but generally below top VLSI roles, with many students also moving into software or IT roles. Core embedded and VLSI companies recruit selectively, so it’s important to build a semiconductor-focused profile. Accepting VIT Vellore for Embedded Systems is a good step, and during the M.Tech, focusing on VLSI verification, SystemVerilog, FPGA, and Linux driver development will improve chances with semiconductor firms. This can lead to strong placements, but it’s essential to back the degree with practical skills and experience. All the Best for Your Prosperous Future!

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