Hii , I am career oriented female and just 23 years old. I have certain aspirations and dreams to fulfill before getting married. I have a boyfriend who is a very genuine guy, but he insists on getting married early in next two - three years. However I want to take sometime to get settled in my career, explore about myself, my career so that I don’t regret settling later in years. The problem is that I need time and my boyfriend can’t wait due to certain family issues. I will be on a crossroad after two years, please suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Sourima,
I guess you have reached that point where you need to decide whether he is the right one for you. Take yourself out of the situation and then observe...
Are you making choices that have begun to compromise your career and your future? If you haven't you might do that soon with all his insecurities, it's possible that you will underplay and hide your success and anything that is going to raise the bar for him. Never compromise on matters like these as today it's Love and tomorrow when practicalities of life is thrown at you, you will end up blaming him for your dips and losses. Think wisely and practically about this NOW. His fixed mindset does suggest that at any point in time, he can and might throw tantrums in insecurity and fear. So, what are you going to do?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Kamaal,
I am sorry you are in such a tricky situation. In such cases, you need to make a choice. I know that your partner has a lot on his plate in terms of making a career, but should you be on his list of priorities too? “In sab ke ilawa kuch nahi sujhta,” sounds a bit too indifferent. But then again, you know him better than anyone else. I believe you two need to have a serious talk. Let him know that you can wait about N number of years for him, but if he can’t commit by then, you need to rethink the relationship. This is not an ultimatum but rather you would be laying down a clear picture of the reality of the situation. Both him and you should have clarity and be on the same page, and for that, having an honest discussion is very important. Start with that and see where it goes.


Hope this helps.