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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1729 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 30, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Hello ma'am, I am 44 year old man married for 18 years with two children aged 15 and 12. My wife and I have no physical relationship for last 8 years and we basically live like roommates. There is no abuse or fight, just no love left. Now I met someone at office who understands me and I have feelings for her. Should I divorce my wife at this age with teenage children? I am emotionally suffering but worried about children's future and society.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Will it be possible to take this to a therapist who can guide the two of you to bridge the gap that has been created due to the age of the marriage. Boredom and predictability can kill any relationship and yours falls right there!
Bring back the pep, the spice; difficult but certainly possible. Start with a simple conversation on how distant you feel from her and she might confess to the same.
Now, the new chapter with your co-worker; when you lean on someone else to fill the void from the marriage can be quite stressful and unfulfilling as well. So, I suggest that you give you marriage another chance!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |644 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |644 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Listen
Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Dear Hemant,
Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |228 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 10, 2025

Money
Hi, I'm 49 married with 2 kids aged 16 and 11. I work in mid mgmt in a Finance co. Wife is 45 works at a Bank. Combined annual salary is 80 lakhs. Live in a home which just got loan free. Have a rental income of 40k monthly that my wife gets. Mom also lives with us and she gets a rental income of 45k per month. I have invested in a small office space which will be ready by mid 2027 and has a construction linked plan, have to pay 40L more. I Have stocks of 45L and EPF of 60L PPF of 12 L. Have ancestral property in land at native place not much but say 25L. Mom has pledged 50% of her assets to my sister. Liability of office and company car is 6L. School fees and tution fees are paid from rental income and wife chips in. There's maintenance, club membership fees, insurance, repairs and maintenance, kids pocket money, groceries, internet, mobile, maids etc. which I pay. I'm thinking of quitting my job and starting something on my own. I am a guest lecturer at a college which is pro bono and also helping 2 Startups of friends over weekend with a tiny equity stake in one. Is it a right decision? Pressure at work is high, growth chances are minimum. Many colleagues asked to go. The environment isn't very encouraging. Pls advise if I'm ok financially with about 45 lakhs liability. Never got a chance to save as EMIs were 75% of income. I'm unable to get a direction.
Ans: You are 49, with a stable dual-income family, home loan cleared, and some investments in place. You feel stagnated in your job and want to start something of your own. It’s a natural and valid thought at this life stage — but the decision needs to be planned, not impulsive.

At present, your financial base is decent but not fully liquid. You still have about ?45 lakh in liabilities, upcoming education costs for your children, and limited cash reserves. Your wife’s job and rental income can sustain household expenses, but not much beyond that.

The wise move is to continue your job while you explore your business or investment idea part-time. Use the next 18–24 months to:

Clear pending loans, especially the office property.

Build a minimum ?20–25 lakh emergency corpus.

Fund your children’s education separately.

Test and refine your business idea alongside your job.

Before quitting, also discuss openly with your spouse whether she is comfortable with you stepping away from a steady income. Her emotional and financial comfort will determine how smooth your transition is.

In short:
Keep your job, continue your startup or investing interest part-time, strengthen your finances, and plan a structured exit once liabilities are cleared. Freedom feels best when it’s backed by security, not uncertainty.

Contingency buffer and health insurance details:
For detailed financial planning and portfolio reconstruction, please connect with a Qualified Personal Finance Professional (QPFP).

Disclaimer / Guidance:
The above analysis is generic in nature and based on limited data shared. For accurate projections — including inflation, tax implications, pension structure, and education cost escalation — it is strongly advised to consult a qualified QPFP/CFP or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD). They can help prepare a comprehensive retirement and goal-based cash flow plan tailored to your unique situation.
Financial planning is not only about returns; it’s about ensuring peace of mind and aligning your money with life goals. A professional planner can help you design a safe, efficient, and realistic roadmap toward your ideal retirement.

Best regards,
Naveenn Kummar, BE, MBA, QPFP
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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