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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |79 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2025

Hello Dr Kaur. My husband chats with random women online at night. We have been married for 5 years and have a 2 year old daughter who sleeps next to us. It is embarrassing and I have caught him secretly checking out women on dating apps and social media. I don't know if he is casually browsing, dating or having an affair outside of our marriage. When I walk into the room, he will switch off his screen and pretend to sleep or work on something important and change the topic immediately. Ours is an arranged marriage. How do I discuss this nicely without offending him? Please help.

Ans: Hello mam
It's completely understandable that you're feeling concerned, embarrassed, and unsure about how to approach this situation. As a relationship counselor, I'd suggest that you choose a calm and private moment to talk to your husband, avoiding any blaming tone. Start expressing your feelings and concerns. You could say, "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something that's been bothering me. I've noticed that you're often on your phone at night, and I feel uncomfortable not knowing what's going on. Can we talk about what's going on and why you're doing this?" In this way, you may be able to have a more open and honest discussion about what's going on and work together to find a resolution that strengthens your relationship.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii, my husband and I have a love marriage after 9 years of dating, now it has been 6 years and two children after that, little one is 8months old. He had a brief affair extending to chatting mostly as far as I know to someone who works in the same company but different department to him when my little one was 1 month old, we were in rough patch that time due to child birth difficulties and family drama. Then as I got to know about the same, by casually checking his phone and confronted him he accepted his mistake and said sorry. And said he won't be doing that again but I caught him again somehow chatting and same repeat he said he is wrong and now as per him he have reduced talking to that girl. But as I think he talks to her thoda bhot, as she is his junior position and asks for help once a while. I love my husband a lot, but this thing hurt my self respect and I am in a lot of torture mentally. I know my husband won't leave me, but I don't want to stay in such a relationship which feels a burden to my partner. I want my husband to be happy too. I am very confused what to do. I have talked to him on several times, every time he listen and helps me calm down, some times we fought also. But I am not at peace. Ps that girl is also married to her love just 2 years back. I don't want to harm my husband's reputation in any way. But I am very much hurt also. I have been reading your column for 3-4 now. I am also financially independent. I don't need anything form him, just his love. Sorry for the length, please help me.?
Ans: In your heart, it’s clear that you love him deeply and that, ideally, you want to preserve your family and relationship. However, it’s important not to dismiss your own needs for validation, love, and respect. Sometimes, the process of forgiveness includes setting strong, clear boundaries. Your husband needs to understand that while you’re willing to work on the relationship, trust is fragile and requires commitment to restore. This might mean a commitment on his part to keep all communication with this colleague strictly professional and transparent, or even a decision to minimize interactions with her entirely if necessary. Expressing these boundaries clearly may help him see the gravity of what’s at stake.

It’s also valuable to remember that healing from betrayal is not a quick process. Even with reassurances and boundaries in place, your feelings of hurt, betrayal, and anger may surface unexpectedly. Be gentle with yourself in this process and consider turning inward to strengthen your own resilience. Financial independence is an incredible strength, and leaning into the aspects of your life that bring you personal fulfillment can be grounding. Investing in your own well-being will help you feel more centered, no matter where this journey takes you.

If, at any point, you feel that his actions aren’t aligning with his words and that trust cannot be rebuilt, remember that choosing a path that prioritizes your mental peace is not a failure. Some couples also find that a temporary separation helps provide clarity; this doesn’t have to mean ending the relationship but could be a chance to reset, reflect, and decide if you both are truly aligned in your vision for the future.

In the end, what matters most is that you feel respected, valued, and loved in a way that doesn’t compromise your self-worth. This situation is a challenging chapter, but with clarity, boundaries, and professional support, you can find a path that honors both your love for your husband and your own dignity.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |707 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We have a 9 year old son. But I am bored of my husband. He is lazy, doesn't take care of himself and there is no intimacy. All he does is watch TV when he is at home. Even if he go out on holidays, he prefers to sleep in or watch TV. He has friends with whom he goes on drinking sessions or watch a game of cricket. But that's about it. He doesn't like to talk or discuss anything at home. Is this even normal? If I tell him he says I am overreacting.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Marriages are not meant to be all fun and happy all the time and over the years, it can become very boring.
Especially if during the initial years, you have not spent it on bonding with one another and just kept it to day to day getting by, you will see what you are seeing now in your marriage. Try something new and different in conversations and within your intimacy as well...
On the other hand, I want you to think: Has he suddenly turned into this lazy and no-care person? Has this to do with something going on with his work, his health, other family commitments? You can work a bit behind the scenes to figure this one out as well...
But, if he has chosen this treatment only for you, I would suggest that you better watch out and take charge before it becomes something bigger. Do a bit of your research on this and see what comes up, so that you can figure out if he's just bored or checked out of the marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, Im from Bangalore, I work in IT My monthly in hand salary post deductions 1.09L, Ive a kid who is 3 years old and my wife is home maker. I would like to known if my apporach of savings/investements to be changed little bit to maximize savings and accumulate amount for my kid higher education and house purchasing. My monthly expenses and savings as below Rent: 12k House hold exp:15k My savings: SIP Mutual funds: im doing it both on my name as well as my wife name, On My name: monthly 14k( accumulated so far 3.18L) On My wife name: Monthly 6k( Accumualated sonfar 68k) Ive stocks investments of about 2.30lakhs I do RD of 20k Ive cheeti every month 20k( will be completed in 2 months and i get 4 lakhs) Sukanya samridhi yogana: 3.5k( so far accumulated 75k) Ive emergency fund of 3lakhs And everymonth I save 8k in liquid fund for my child school fees i use this accumulated amount for every next year school fees 4k every month savings for LIC Jeevan labh 936 And 6k in gold and 2k in silver I know gold and silver are voltalie considering recent returns im doing SIP of 8k both gold and silver. Ive term insurance for 1cr Health insurance company sponsored 10lakhs. My goal is to buy a house in 2 years atleast to make down payment of 15l and rest to go for loan And my child higher education after 12th to save how do i plan my investements and I wanted to make sure to continue the SIP which im doing now.
Ans: Your financial discipline is very impressive. With a monthly income of Rs 1.09 lakh, you have already built a strong system of savings. Supporting a family with a young child while still investing regularly shows very good financial maturity.

Let us review and fine tune your structure so your goals become easier to achieve.

» Understanding Your Current Financial Structure

Your current monthly pattern roughly shows:

– Household expenses around Rs 27k
– Mutual fund SIP around Rs 20k
– Recurring deposit Rs 20k
– Chit fund Rs 20k (ending soon)
– Gold and silver SIP Rs 8k
– LIC premium Rs 4k
– Sukanya Samriddhi Rs 3.5k
– School fee saving Rs 8k

You are saving a very healthy portion of your income. This is a very strong foundation.

But your money is spread across too many instruments.

Simplifying your structure will improve growth.

» Emergency Fund Review

You already have Rs 3 lakhs emergency fund.

This is a good cushion.

– Maintain this in safe liquid instruments
– Do not use it for investments or house purchase
– This protects your family during job or health uncertainty

This part is already well managed.

» House Down Payment Goal (Next 2 Years)

You want to arrange Rs 15 lakhs in 2 years.

Equity mutual funds are not suitable for such a short goal because market volatility can disturb the amount.

So the correct approach is:

– Use the Rs 4 lakh chit amount when received
– Continue the recurring deposit
– Add part of monthly savings into safe short-term instruments

This will help you accumulate the down payment safely.

Avoid depending on stock market returns for a 2-year goal.

» Child Higher Education Planning

Your child is 3 years old. You still have 14 to 15 years.

This is a very good long-term horizon.

Your mutual fund SIP strategy is correct.

Continue investing in actively managed diversified equity funds.

Benefits of actively managed funds:

– Professional fund managers select strong companies
– Portfolio can adjust during market changes
– Aim to generate higher return than the market

For long goals like education, equity funds are powerful due to compounding.

Continue SIPs in both your name and your wife's name.

Gradually increase SIP whenever your salary increases.

» Review of Gold and Silver Investments

You are currently investing Rs 8k monthly in gold and silver.

Precious metals are useful for diversification but they should not dominate the portfolio.

– Keep allocation around 5% to 10% of total investments
– Do not increase beyond this level

Too much allocation in metals can reduce long-term wealth creation.

Gradually redirect part of this amount to equity funds.

» LIC Policy Review

You mentioned a policy with premium around Rs 4k per month.

Many investment-cum-insurance policies give limited return compared to mutual funds.

If this policy is mainly for investment purpose and not protection:

– Review surrender value
– Consider stopping and redirecting future money to mutual funds

Pure term insurance already protects your family.

Your Rs 1 crore term cover is a good decision.

» Health Insurance Planning

Currently you have company health cover of Rs 10 lakhs.

This is good but it is linked to your job.

So consider an additional personal family health insurance.

This ensures protection even if you change jobs.

Medical inflation in India is rising quickly.

» Managing Too Many Investment Buckets

Right now you have:

– Mutual funds
– Stocks
– RD
– Chit fund
– Gold and silver
– LIC
– Sukanya Samriddhi

Too many small buckets reduce clarity.

A simpler structure is better:

– Equity mutual funds for long-term goals
– Debt instruments for short-term goals
– Small allocation to gold

Simplicity improves tracking and discipline.

» Tax Awareness

When you redeem equity mutual funds for long-term goals:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Short term gains taxed at 20%

Planning withdrawals properly helps reduce tax burden.

» Finally

You are already doing many things right.

Small improvements can make your financial life even stronger.

Focus on these actions:

– Continue mutual fund SIPs for long-term goals
– Use RD and chit amount for house down payment
– Reduce excess allocation to gold and silver
– Review LIC policy usefulness
– Add personal health insurance cover
– Increase SIP every year with salary growth

With this disciplined structure, you can comfortably achieve your child's education goal and build financial stability for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6835 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2026Hindi
Career
The NEET is 2 months away. I have completed my syllabus but was sick for 1.5 months now. I am getting 348 marks. I feel like I have forgotten everything. How can I score 650+?
Ans: You still have about 8 weeks, which is enough time to make a big jump if you focus on revision + question practice. First, don’t panic about “forgetting everything”; after illness, it’s normal for recall to feel weak, but concepts usually come back quickly with practice. Start by revising Biology daily (2–3 chapters/day) because it gives the fastest score increase. For Physics and Chemistry, revise formulas, key reactions, and then solve topic-wise MCQs the same day to rebuild recall. Take a Full Mock Test every 3–4 days, analyze mistakes carefully, and make a small “error notebook” so you don’t repeat them. Try to solve 120–150 questions daily and spend more time on Biology accuracy, since it’s the easiest way to push your score up quickly. Also, maintain sleep, light exercise, and proper meals so your energy fully returns after being sick. If you stay consistent with revision, mocks, and error analysis for the next two months, jumping from 350 to 600+ is realistic, and 650+ becomes possible with high accuracy.

Practical Advice: You can improve your score from 350 to 650 with thorough study and practice. Saying recall is very easy, but it will only be effective if it was well understood in the past. It is better to choose chapters from PCB where you feel more confident and focus on questions from these chapters in the NEET Exam.
For 650+: You Score like- BIO > 300, PHY > 150, CHE > 200.


Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Money
How and where to check the change in benchmark index of a mutual fund from the date of investment.
Ans: It is good that you want to track the benchmark change of your mutual fund. Monitoring this helps you understand whether the fund performance comparison is fair and transparent.

» Why Benchmark Change Matters

– Every mutual fund is compared with a benchmark index
– The benchmark helps you judge if the fund manager is doing better than the market
– If the benchmark changes, past performance comparison may look different

So it is important to know when the benchmark was changed.

» Where to Check Benchmark Changes

You can verify benchmark changes through the following places:

– Mutual fund scheme factsheet

Fund houses publish monthly factsheets

It mentions the current benchmark and sometimes the previous benchmark

– Scheme Information Document (SID)

The SID explains the benchmark used by the fund

When the benchmark changes, the document gets updated

– Addendum or notice issued by the fund house

When a benchmark is changed, the fund house releases an official notice

This is usually available on the AMC website under “Notices” or “Updates”

– Your account statement or email communication

Fund houses normally inform investors through email when such changes happen

» Platforms That Show Benchmark History

You may also check on investment tracking platforms such as:

– Mutual fund research portals
– Registrar websites where your folio is maintained
– Portfolio tracking platforms

These sometimes mention historical benchmark details.

» Practical Tip for Investors

While tracking benchmark change, also observe:

– Whether the new benchmark is more appropriate for the fund category
– Whether the fund is consistently beating the benchmark
– Whether the fund strategy has changed along with the benchmark

If benchmark keeps changing frequently, it deserves closer review.

» Finally

The best place to confirm benchmark change from the exact date is the official communication from the fund house such as SID updates, addendum notices, and monthly factsheets. Keeping these records helps you track whether your fund is truly creating value over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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