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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2026Hindi
Relationship

Hello Dr., Hope this mail finds you well ! I am married for the past 15 years with 2 daughters (13 & 8 yrs old) but my wife is very suspicious. From the day of our marriage till today she keeps accusing me of affairs while I never had any affairs. She keeps monitoring my mobile, whatsApp messages and laptop. In WhatsApp she has strange method, if I am online and if any other woman is online she thinks she is following me or I am messaging her. When I am on official travel she keeps calling me to check my location. I have to video call her and keep my phone ON in night when I go to bed. She suspects someone is in my room. She accuses me of having affair with any lady with whom I talk even to the extent of my sister in law. When I am working from Home she keeps the mobile phone with video ON to check what I am doing. When I go to my office I have to share my Location. She has got no evidences but still she is not able to understand me. Except for rare business travel I never go out except with my family. I do not have many friends and few which I have my wife has also accused me of having affairs with their wives. I ignore her behaviour but she also uses foul language and this is affecting me & my daughters. I consulterd few psycologists but it has not helped. I love my wife and like to help her but do not know how to handle this situation. Please advise.

Ans: I can hear that you love your wife and want to help her, and that is admirable. But love does not mean tolerating ongoing psychological control. More importantly, your daughters are growing up watching this dynamic. Children who witness constant suspicion and monitoring can internalize fear, mistrust, and unhealthy relationship models.
Your wife’s behavior sounds less like simple jealousy and more like severe insecurity or possibly paranoid thinking. When someone creates connections between random events — for example, “another woman is online at the same time so she must be messaging you” — that is not rational suspicion. It suggests deep anxiety or distorted thought patterns. This is not something you can fix through reassurance alone.
In fact, the more you comply with surveillance — video calls at night, sharing location, proving yourself repeatedly — the more you unintentionally reinforce her belief that suspicion is justified. You are feeding the cycle. Reassurance helps temporarily, but the suspicion returns stronger because the root issue is inside her, not in your behavior.
You need to shift from defending yourself to setting calm boundaries.
This does not mean shouting or threatening separation. It means saying something like: “I understand you feel anxious and I want to support you, but constant monitoring and accusations are hurting me and affecting our daughters. I will not continue video surveillance or location tracking. If you feel unsafe or anxious, we need professional help together.”
The key word is “together.” She may resist therapy because suspicious individuals often believe the problem is external, not internal. But couples therapy with someone experienced in paranoid jealousy or pathological suspicion is crucial. Regular psychologists sometimes miss the depth of such patterns. You may need a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist evaluation, especially if this behavior has lasted 15 years without change.
You also need to protect your own mental health. Living under constant accusation can cause anxiety, depression, and emotional numbness. It slowly erodes self-esteem. Consider individual therapy for yourself, not to fix her, but to strengthen your emotional boundaries and resilience.
Most importantly, do not isolate yourself further. Suspicious partners often push their spouses into social isolation. Maintain healthy friendships and professional relationships within reasonable boundaries.
Ask yourself gently: has her suspicion worsened over time? Has it extended into other areas of life? If so, this may be more than jealousy — it could be a mental health condition that requires medical support.
You cannot cure her insecurity through perfection. Even if you lock yourself in a room with no phone, the suspicion will find another story.
Your role is not to prove innocence endlessly. Your role is to protect your dignity, your daughters’ emotional safety, and encourage proper treatment.
I want to ask you something important: if nothing changes and this continues for another 10 years, what impact do you think it will have on your daughters’ understanding of marriage? That answer will guide your next step.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 13, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 53 year old male having troubled relationship with my wife off late. I am married for 26 years & was happy for 25 years. Recently due to my friendship & chatting with some female friends my wife grew suspicious & started keeping watch on my phone & location through setting on phone. I didnt mind as I was not having any wrong intention & relationship with any female friend. Problem started when my wife started interfering in my daily work by calling during office hours and asking what I am doing and with whom I am chatting etc. 1-2 times in a week this questioning turns into arguments & she use abusive language to confront. She claims that this issue of my infidelity haunts her all day and she cant sleep properly during night. Is she having some psychotic problem? Do we have to seek counseling together or she needs a Psychologist help? She is happy for 2-3 days in a week & this problem is not a everyday problem as she is pretty normal on other days.I love her unconditionally & cant see her sinking like this. Please help.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing difficulties in your relationship. I can offer you some general suggestions that might help in this situation.

Open and honest communication: Sit down with your wife during a calm moment and have an open conversation about your concerns and feelings. It's important to express your love and commitment to her, and also address the impact her actions are having on your relationship.
Seek couples counseling: A professional counselor or therapist can help both of you navigate through these issues. Couples counseling provides a safe space for open communication and can assist in resolving conflicts, rebuilding trust, and improving the overall dynamics of your relationship.
Individual counseling: In addition to couples counseling, your wife may benefit from individual therapy to address her feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and trust issues. A psychologist or therapist can provide her with support and guidance to work through her concerns.
Establish boundaries and trust-building measures: It's important to establish boundaries that both of you are comfortable with regarding friendships and privacy. Rebuilding trust might involve setting guidelines for communication, being transparent about your activities, and reassurance about your commitment to the relationship.
Patience and empathy: Remember that this process may take time, and it's essential to be patient and understanding with each other. Try to empathize with your wife's feelings and reassure her of your love and commitment. Encourage her to express her concerns and fears openly so you can work through them together.

It's important to note that only a qualified mental health professional can provide an accurate assessment. If you believe your wife's behavior is indicative of a larger mental health issue, it would be advisable to seek the guidance of a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Ultimately, seeking professional help can provide you both with the necessary tools and guidance to work through these challenges and strengthen your relationship.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

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Relationship
Hi Anu Kindly refer to my earlier question and your answer. In july 2023, she came to my office and literally touched my feet and apologized to me for her wrongdoings, like talking to my wife and further character assassination. She told me that all people are lying to me. I forgave to her and thought that she is possessive and in her possessiveness, she took that step. From july 2023 till June, 2024, she continued to put various allegations on me that I have a affair with my office staff etc. I blocked her so many times in past one year, but she used to come to me through various persons. I told her many times that if she has any proof of my affair, show to me and i would explain to you. But she used to say sorry and reunite. In june, 2024, she again levelled allegation on me that I am having affair with my friends wife and again, she informed this to my wife that I am having affair with various women and she used to give me money and gave various household items to me. She also informed my wife about our personal things to my wife. In short, she tried to ruin my respect, my family. In wife became quite depressive on hearing these things. I totally blocked her from my phone and she is continuing to call my friends and assassinating my character. My friends know me quite well. When my wife tried to backfire on her, like contacting her relative on facebook, inquiring about her whereabouts, she suddenly took a U turn and said to my friend that I should stop my wife, else she would be thrown out of her house (she is a widow). I would never forgive her nor would return to her. I invested around 7 lakhs on building a house on collaboration with her and in her distress time, i used to take care of her and her house, like providing ration to her, giving her money to run household chores, paying her electricity bill etc. But i came to conclusion that she was just using me. If she would have really loved me, she couldt try to destroy me reputation and my family. But even after this, I never contacted her and tried to ruin her.
Ans: Dear Harish,
When you asked for help in your first question, it only meant you wanted to get out of this sticky situation. Now, I am happy that you were able to realize that she was using you. Hope you have decided to keep her at a distance from you and the family. When you started to dream of a parallel life with her and spend money to construct a home etc, you were again running away from your marriage and trying you luck elsewhere. Do try and give your marriage a fair chance and now that your wife knows most of it, do start on a clean state if that's what she wishes to as well. Thank you for sharing...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I been married for 16 years now. From last 4 years, my wife has been getting involved with a colleague of her friend. After I found out, she said she is only friends with him and promised to stop chatting with him. But I found out that she was still talking to him. When I confronted her she denied it and said I am unnecessarily doubting her, but promised to stop and block him. But its empty promise and she continues chatting him. she refuses to sleep in same room and continues talking to him late into the night. I managed to get certain screen shots of her chats but nowadays she locked her phone. Her friends were encouraging her and also playing messenger/peacemaker role when she has a tiff with him. I really dont want a divorce because it will affect my kids but seems like there is no alternative. She keeps threatening me that she will file a case against me and my family and also that I need to pay for alimony if i plan to divorce. I indirectly raised this issue with her family but she has said so many negative things about me to them that they seem to take it lightly. I am frustrated now . Please advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What sort of a situation are you dealing with? Your wife chats with another man and then she is also threatening to file a case against you and your family? On what grounds?
If at all you are going to file for divorce, make sure that you keep whatever proof that you have intact with you. It can help strengthen your side of the story and her threats can be opposed accordingly.
If you still want the marriage to continue, it cannot go on like this...kindly seek professional help as your wife really needs to understand the meaning of marriage. If she is not interested in it, at least then it can proceed towards a separation BUT living under the same roof and still being involved with her colleague and then behaving as though you are to blame clearly suggests that she is not in the right frame of mind OR has decided that she does not want the marriage.
Whatever the case, do ask her what she intends and then it will give you an idea as to whether to separate or make efforts to rebuild the marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11484 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2026
Money
I am a 54 year old male working abroad. I have below investments. I have below investments so far: PPF 55 lakhs,EPF 36 lakhs, MF (total cumulative) 5.5 crores ,Employee superannuity+gratuity 14.5 lakhs, NPS 17 lakhs Monthly MF SIP ongoing 2 lakhs Company FD 10 lakhs Gold 16 lakhs. I am well covered in life insurance as well as medical insurance. My question is 1) My wife is getting a one time windfall of Rs .80 Lakhs as part of her share in her ancestral property. a)Pls guide me on how to invest this money b) what are the ways to save on tax eg. rbi relief bonds etc? c) if rbi relief bonds how much is the maximum limit d) beyond that limit where should i remaining balance?
Ans: Thank you for sharing your investment details. You have built a substantial investment portfolio through regular investing. The key now is to invest your wifes Rs.80 lakh windfall in a tax-efficient manner without adding unnecessary risk.

» Assessment of Your Current Portfolio

– Your existing investments are spread across mutual funds, EPF, PPF, NPS, company deposits and gold.

– Your mutual fund corpus is already substantial, with an ongoing SIP of Rs.2 lakh per month.

– Therefore, the entire windfall need not go into equity mutual funds. Your decision should depend on your retirement age, expected expenses, tax residency and the level of risk you are comfortable taking.

– Since you are working abroad, your residential status under Indian tax laws is important. The tax treatment of your investments and interest income can differ based on whether you qualify as a resident, NRI or RNOR.

» 1. How to Invest the Rs.80 Lakh Windfall

First, keep the money in your wifes name if she is the legal recipient of the ancestral property proceeds. Maintain proper documents showing the source of funds.

Consider dividing the money into three broad purposes:

– Safety and liquidity: Keep a suitable amount in bank deposits or other low-risk instruments for emergencies and expenses expected in the next few years.

– Stable income: Consider suitable government-backed or high-quality fixed-income options, after checking eligibility, taxation, lock-in and withdrawal rules.

– Long-term growth: Invest a portion in diversified, actively managed equity mutual funds if the money is not required for at least 7–10 years.

Since your existing mutual fund corpus is already Rs.5.5 crore, avoid putting the entire Rs.80 lakh into equity without reviewing your overall asset allocation. Your present equity exposure may already be sufficient for your retirement goals.

» 2. Can You Save Tax Through RBI Bonds?

It is important to distinguish between tax-saving investments and investments that offer safety or regular interest income.

RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds are generally considered for investors seeking government-backed interest income. However, they are not a tax-saving instrument.

– Interest earned is taxable according to the applicable income tax rules.

– Investing in these bonds does not automatically provide a deduction under Section 80C.

– The bonds have a seven-year maturity period for ordinary individual investors, with premature encashment permitted only under specified conditions for eligible senior citizens.

– Interest rates are reset periodically, so the income may change over time.

Hence, these bonds can be considered for the safety and income portion of the portfolio, but not as a way to reduce tax on the windfall itself.

» 3. What Is the Maximum Investment Limit in RBI Bonds?

– There is no maximum investment limit in RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds.

– However, these bonds are available to eligible resident individuals and HUFs. If your wife is an NRI, she would not be eligible to invest in these bonds under the current eligibility rules. Confirm her residential status before proceeding.

– The interest rate for July–December 2026 is 8.05% per annum, payable half-yearly. The rate is reset periodically.

– The maturity period is seven years, and liquidity is limited. Premature encashment is allowed only for eligible senior citizens after the specified lock-in period.

Therefore, these bonds may suit the stable-income portion of your wifes portfolio, provided she is eligible and can accept the lock-in.

» 4. Can You Save Capital Gains Tax on the Ancestral Property?

This is an important point to clarify before investing the money.

– If your wife received the property through inheritance, the inheritance itself is generally not taxable as income.

– However, if the ancestral property was sold and Rs.80 lakh represents her share of the sale proceeds, capital gains tax may arise. The taxable gain is not necessarily the entire amount received.

– Depending on the facts, Section 54EC capital gains bonds may offer tax relief when eligible long-term capital gains arise from the sale of land or a building.

– The maximum investment eligible for this exemption is Rs.50 lakh, subject to the applicable conditions and timelines. The investment must generally be made within six months of the transfer.

– These are different from RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds. Section 54EC bonds are meant for eligible capital gains exemption, whereas RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds provide taxable interest income.

If the property has already been sold, please check the sale date immediately. The deadline for claiming an exemption may be important.

» 5. Where Should You Invest the Remaining Amount?

If your wife is eligible for Section 54EC bonds and has sufficient eligible capital gains, up to Rs.50 lakh may be considered for that purpose.

The remaining amount can be allocated based on your financial goals.

– Bank deposits or other suitable fixed-income investments for short-term needs and capital safety.

– High-quality fixed-income instruments for the portion meant to provide stability.

– Diversified, actively managed equity mutual funds for long-term growth, if your overall portfolio review shows that additional equity exposure is appropriate.

Do not invest in a particular product only because it offers a tax benefit. Consider liquidity, taxation, maturity and the purpose of the investment.

» 6. My Final Assessment

Your family already has a strong investment base. At age 54, retirement planning, tax efficiency and asset allocation deserve more attention than simply maximising returns.

Before investing the Rs.80 lakh, please clarify these three points:

– Is the Rs.80 lakh received from an actual sale of ancestral property, or has your wife received the property itself as her share?

– Is your wife an Indian resident or an NRI for income-tax purposes?

– When was the property sold, if a sale has taken place?

These details will help determine whether capital gains tax applies, whether Section 54EC bonds are suitable, and how the remaining money can be invested efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11484 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 13, 2026

Money
my father is 75 years old and my mother is 70 years old, she has stent in the heart, can you recommend which is the best health insurance policy for them. thanks
Ans: Thank you for sharing your parents details. Having health insurance at this age is important, especially when your mother has a heart stent.

» Health Insurance for Your Parents

– At 75 and 70 years, getting a new health insurance policy may be difficult. Premiums can also be high, and some insurers may not accept the application.

– Your fathers health condition and your mothers heart history will be considered during underwriting. Since your mother has a heart stent, the insurer may impose waiting periods, exclusions or other conditions.

– Do not choose a policy based on premium alone. Check the coverage, room rent limits, co-payment, disease-wise limits and claim conditions carefully.

» What You Should Check Before Buying

– Look for a senior citizen health insurance policy that accepts applicants of their ages and offers reasonable hospitalisation coverage.

– For your mother, disclose the heart stent procedure and all related medical details honestly. Ask the insurer in writing whether future cardiac treatment will be covered and from when.

– Check the co-payment clause. If the policy has a 20% co-payment, you may have to pay 20% of eligible hospital expenses yourself.

– Check pre-existing disease waiting periods. Existing heart conditions may not be covered immediately.

– Check whether the policy has limits on ICU charges, room rent, specific treatments or the total amount payable for certain illnesses.

» Consider These Alternatives

– If your parents already have health insurance, check whether it can be continued or enhanced. Keeping existing coverage may be more useful than buying a new policy.

– Check whether they have any employer-sponsored, government-sponsored or other eligible health coverage.

– If new insurance is unavailable or too costly, maintain a separate medical emergency fund. This will help meet hospital expenses not covered by insurance.

» My Assessment

At their ages, I would first check existing insurance and its continuation options. Then compare new policies based on actual coverage and exclusions.

For your mother, written confirmation about cardiac coverage is especially important. Do not assume that a policy will cover heart-related treatment simply because the insurer accepts her application.

Please share these three details for a more suitable assessment:

– Do your parents currently have any health insurance? If yes, what is the sum insured?

– Which city do they live in?

– Does your mother have any other medical conditions apart from the heart stent?

With these details, we can narrow down the available options and identify the most practical way to protect your parents from large medical expenses.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2026
Career
In my office, there are times when a colleague gets stuck with some work or makes a mistake, and I try to help them so that the work gets completed on time. Sometimes, I even put my own work aside to help them because I feel that we should support each other as a team. But when I am busy with my own tasks and need some help, the same colleagues are not always available. They may say they are busy or ask me to manage it myself. I don’t want to stop helping others because of this, as I feel it is important to maintain good relationships at work. At the same time, I sometimes feel that people take my helpful nature for granted, and my own work gets delayed because of it. I also worry that if I start refusing to help, my colleagues may think I have become selfish or uncooperative.
Ans: Dear

Very good question.

Few things let's get it clear. Each one is hired for a particular role and deliverables and they are paid for that.

You are hired first to do your work and deliverables assigned to you. Helping colleagues with their work, while letting your work aside is akin to not doing your responsibility.

My suggestion would be first focus on your work, if someone approaches you with a help and assistance for their work, you can provide them with guidance but do not end up doing their work.

If you are in the midst of your work and someone approaches you, you can politely yet firmly tell them that you are in mids if an important work and once done you will call them. DO NOT set aside your work for someone else. Remember you are working in a corporate world and not some social charitable organisation where any one can do everyone's work.

Hope this helps. All the best.

Warm Regards
KK

...Read more

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