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Anu Krishna  |1788 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Siddharth Question by Siddharth on Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Hello madam, I am a 35 year-old software Engineer from Pune. I am living with my wife, sister and mother in a joint-family setup. My wife and sister both are working. I got married in Dec 2022. Last year due to project ramp-down, my wife had to move to Hyderabad for work. During that time, only she was living in Hyderabad in a rented flat, I was still trying to search for a job in Hyderabad. But after 6 months, around March 2025, her project in Hyderabad got ramped down again. She tried searching for jobs in pune and hyderabad, but she could only get interview calls from Pune. So ultimately had to settle back with us in pune. She does have a regret moving back to Pune. Now after 2-3 months of moving back to Pune, one night she started picking up a fight with me and she said she doesn't like a joint family setup, and wants to move in a seperate apartment. She is too much attached to Hyderabad City ,that she was forcing me to search for a job in Hyderabad. I explained her that last year also I was trying a lot for a job in Hyderabad, but couldn't get a decent job, and I am still trying to search for a job in Hyderabad but due to tough market situation and some bad luck unable to get a good opportunity. I also said we can move to another rented flat in pune as well, but she is still adamant about moving to Hyderabad. I tried to explain her that it would be easy for me to attend any family emergencies related to my mother or sister of we at least stay in the same city, but nothing works. My sister is suffering from clinical depression and due to this, she is still unmarried. We did tried to search a suitable alliance for her but we were unsuccessful. This also upsets her a lot, and the fact that my mother and my sister are financially and emotionally dependent on me, makes my wife sad and angry. I do always to make things work for her , but the fact that I also have to look after my mother and sister brings problem in our marriage. My mother is a single parent hence the reason she is dependent on me. My sister is working but her income is not that much that if I stopped supporting, the household will work. Now I am highly anxious that if I really don't get a job in Hyderabad, how things will take shape for me and my family. Things do look quite scary at this time, trying to convince my wife to look for rented flat in pune but no luck yet.

Ans: Dear Siddharth,
You seem to be fair in requesting your wife to shift to another place in Pune which will take care of your family and your wife as well...
What seems to be the issue with that for her? What is in Hyderabad that is not there in Pune?
Is she worried that your family will drop by without informing?
Does she worry that you will be neglecting her and attend to only your family?

Anything that seems unreasonable usually has a hidden reason behind it; she's not sharing what exactly the issue is or she is yet to figure it out herself. My suggestion to you is to have a good heart to heart chat with her where you address her concerns and share yours, so that she understands you as well...The only way to solve issues is to come to meeting point and then find a win-win...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1788 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Relationship
I’m 39 male, married for last 10 years and have 2 kids. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family with my two elder sisters. One of my sisters got married in 2012 and got divorced. She lives with me and my other sister got married 4 years ago. She lives with her husband in the same house. We have a big bungalow. My 2nd sister’s husband’s house is very small and my sister doesn't want to live there that's why she lives in the same house with me. The problem is my wife doesn't want to live there with my sister. She always asks why your sister is not going to her husband’s house? Why is she living here? They don't like each other. They talk to each other for the sake of formality. I told my sister to go and live with her husband's house but she says 'I don't want to live there with their family; I will live here. This is my parents’ house.'Because of this I don't talk to her too much. My wife says I don't want to live here with them, let us stay in another house. But I cannot afford another home. I tell my wife that stay here because we cannot afford another home. This is our home. But she does not understand and we fight every week about this. I am stuck and cannot focus on my work because of this. Pls suggest what should I do?
Ans:

Dear C,

It’s a small crowd that you are all living in.

Too many people in one home can have its highs and lows. Privacy can be invaded and too many interferences from family members can cause a crack in the marriage.

Having said this, I do empathize with the fact that affordability of another home is an issue here.

So, have you tried getting back to the drawing board, bringing in all the members together and literally asking them to throw all that they have for and against one another.

If not, please initiate this. Simply explaining to your wife isn’t going to solve the problem.

If so many of you live under one roof, then it becomes everyone’s responsibility to pool in physically, financially and emotionally.

Your 2nd sister cannot cite reasons that she doesn’t want to live at her husband’s home. If she lives with you, how is she contributing to the home?

These are things that must be ironed out sooner than later. So, what are you waiting for?

Plunge in, bring everyone into the ring, talk, delegate responsibilities and ask them how they would like to contribute and share.

This will also allow your wife a feeling that you care, but that she needs to know your financial situation as well.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1788 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Relationship
**JAY*JAGANNATH**, Wishing You For **HAPPY*JANMASHTAMI**, I'm based in Mumbai, but lives in Puri, Odisha, because of **LORD*JAGANNATHA**, Since, I'm a Business Analyst,, not yet Started my Practice,, i had a arrange marriage in my own caste with rest was OK, after reading some of Your advises and type of case,, i became enthusiast to know about my personal disturbances in my family. We live Seperate with my Only 18+Son, Studing & Preparing for Entrance Test via Online.., she is in Guwahati,, working under at a Private Retail Management co., ME & MY FAMILY Severally attempted & requested her and her family too, to Come back & Join to my family for living together,, but when failed,, i encourage her OK live there,, as because after failing an attempt of school transfer due to language issue for a subject like Marathi in Upper classes,, Thus, i stopped disturbing her as well as my son's study. During initial level of Separation,, their family (ELDERS) requested me will handover my family (wife & Son),, if i Pay them(wife& Son) their expenses for a Full Year., that was happened when i reached for an attempt to Convince My Wife and their family to adjoin with me & with my family activity, that was Probably in 2010-11 somewhere in between,, i was Hr. Manager in a Cement Co. in Meghalaya. I agreed too & and Provide as per for a Year. But, while passing a year they became Silent.., not hardcovered my family. till as on date,, i am alone..! She & Elder Sister & the brother-in-law Says they won't divorce nor will allow to handover,, i said why..! The Starting of a Quarrel was with a Issue of Changing my Mental Perception,, while they tried to Implement me with Saying a FALSE PLAN,, but, i Caught their Such Attempt,, MY Mrs. later She admitted that, they tried it because of if I get my Changes in me & to take my decision well for my Next career. Since, i born & brought up in Guwahati, i had a Soft corner for North-East always,, which was happened after 15yrs of long Struggle in Mumbai,, i Stand on my own feet with My Own Struggle & a house for my Stability etc. After Marriage of a Assam Lady only it was a Scope again to Reach Assam.. So, i thought, if i can Start Something a great Project with in & around of North-East. But, that became a bad experience for me as on till. I arrived Recently too, to Convince her,, Come & Join me,, Rest all Hurdle i will Handle,, Now, No more My father also expired, a Retired. Rly Officer,, Parents too visited Severally Assam to Convince them but failed,, I always feel i am alone,, what to do with,, I am a family Oriented Person,, love to keep Relation Well with either Side Well. But, not happening. What to Do Now,, Kindly tell Your Opinion on this,, I am Ready to Take Your Nobly too, Recently, I took little advise from a Legal Family Court Councillor at Guwahati, & their one of Next Door Reputed Lady Neighbour(Who Co-ordinated & Represent too for the Local area of their & for their Constituency during Elections & their any function of their Locality,, a well known in their Locality for a Good behaviour too),, I meet & Spoke to her Severally,, She herself Visited too & found My Wife Not behaving Normally & Cool,, a Raugh behaved Lady, She found & She Said, a disrespected Lady means not Gentle,, i Personally Visited Mumbai at her elder Sister's home too,, during yr.2015,, while in entrance,, the brother-in-law resisted me NOT to Enter,, from the door only i came back. Not meet even & had NO Talk,, while after little a distance i covered from their residence,, i found they again recalling me to Come & Visit. But, I found myself very off mooded, & not visited till as on & till date,, because. they only Created the False Nuisances' with their Plan,, which not became A Success.. they Caught. But, they were Proposer of Our both Relation. But, I want a Justice with this,, Since, I am a Simple & Honest,, Very Straight forwarded with Cut to throat Person..in my Nature,, Soft & Spiritual. Since, Many Years Now Connected to Krishna Consciousness too,, that is why for love & affection i am here at PURI. Kindly, Let me Know Your Precious Opinion by which I can Come out with my Loneliness. **HARE*KRISHNA** Thanking you, With Regards, Surajit Bhattacharjee, In Case if You have a Plan to Visit Puri, Odisha,, Kindly, Let me Know Your Date & Place to See **MAHABAHU**JAGANNATHA*,, You may Send by Your family & friends too with Prior Advance & info.
Ans: Dear Surajit,
Thank you for the festive wishes and thank you for the invite to visit Odisha.

Your situations suggests that much time has passed with no action. Long distance relationships are not easy and require immense maturity and agreement and a lot of trust to keep the marriage going.

What is the reason that your wife does not want to come back now? Your son is already 18 years and is old enough to get into a professional college now...What has happened in all these years that she finds it better living with her side of the better than making her own family come together?

Have the two of you had time to have a private conversation without the interference from anyone else?
Make that honest attempt and appeal to her that you would like the family to get back together. But also be prepared if she says NO as that has been her stance all these years... then please move on...it is difficult but will be better for your physical and mental health.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |657 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2023

Relationship
**JAY*JAGANNATH**, Wishing You For **HAPPY*ANANT-CHATURDASHI**, I'm based in Mumbai, but lives in Puri, Odisha, because of **LORD*JAGANNATHA**, Since, I'm a Business Analyst,, not yet Started my Practice,, i had a arrange marriage in my own caste with rest was OK, after reading some of Your advises and type of case,, i became enthusiast to know YOUR UNPARALELED PRECIOUS OPINION about my personal disturbances in my family.,for which We live Separate with my Only 18+Son, Studying & Preparing for his Entrance Test via Online.., she is in Guwahati,, working under at a Private Retail Management co., ME & MY FAMILY Severally attempted & requested her and her family too, to Come back & Join to my family for living together,, but when failed,, i encourage her OK live there,, as because after failing an attempt of school transfer due to language issue for a subject like Marathi in Upper classes,, Thus, i stopped disturbing her as well as my son's study. During initial level of Separation,, their family (ELDERS) requested me will handover my family (wife & Son),, if i Pay them(wife& Son) their expenses for a Full Year., that was happened when i reached for an attempt to Convince My Wife and their family to adjoin with me & with my family activity, that was Probably in 2010-11 somewhere in between,, i was Hr. Manager in a Cement Co. in Meghalaya. I agreed too & and Provide as per for a Year. But, while passing a year they became Silent.., not hardcovered my family. till as on date,, i am alone..! She & Elder Sister & the brother-in-law Says they won't divorce nor will allow to handover,, i said why..! The Starting of a Quarrel was with a Issue of Changing my Mental Perception,, while they tried to Implement me with Saying a FALSE PLAN,, but, i Caught their Such Attempt,, MY Mrs. later She admitted that, they tried it because of if I get my Changes in me & to take my decision well for my Next career. Since, i born & brought up in Guwahati, i had a Soft corner for North-East always,, which was happened after 15yrs of long Struggle in Mumbai,, i Stand on my own feet with My Own Struggle & a house for my Stability etc. After Marriage of a Assam Lady only it was a Scope again to Reach Assam.. So, i thought, if i can Start Something a great Project with in & around of North-East. But, that became a bad experience for me as on till. I arrived Recently too, to Convince her,, Come & Join me,, Rest all Hurdle i will Handle,, Now, No more My father also expired, a Retired. Rly Officer,, Parents too visited Severally Assam to Convince them but failed,, I always feel i am alone,, what to do with,, I am a family Oriented Person,, love to keep Relation Well with either Side Well. But, not happening. What to Do Now,, But, I LOVER HER & MY SON VERY MUCH,, BY ANY MEANS AS ON.., I HAVE NO PLAN TO LEAVE THEM ALONE & THEIR STRUGGLE TO..! BUT, I STILL, A HELPLESS, WHOM TO GO & CRY FOR THEM..!?! Kindly tell Your PRECIOUS Opinion on this,, I am Ready to Take Your Nobly too, Recently, I took little advise from a Legal Family Court Councillor at Guwahati, & their one of Next Door Reputed Lady Neighbour(Who Co-ordinated & Represent too for the Local area of their & for their Constituency during Elections & their any function of their Locality,, a well known in their Locality for a Good behaviour too),, I meet & Spoke to her Severally,, She herself Visited too & found My Wife Not behaving Normally & Cool,, a Raugh behaved Lady, She found & She Said, a disrespected Lady means not Gentle,, i Personally Visited Mumbai at her elder Sister's home too,, during yr.2015,, while in entrance,, the brother-in-law resisted me NOT to Enter,, from the door only i came back. Not meet even & had NO Talk,, while after little a distance i covered from their residence,, i found they again recalling me to Come & Visit. But, I found myself very off mooded, & not visited till as on & till date,, because. they only Created the False Nuisances' with their Plan,, which not became A Success.. they Caught. But, they were Proposer of Our both Relation. But, I want a Justice with this,, Since, I am a Simple & Honest,, Very Straight forwarded with Cut to throat Person..in my Nature,, Soft & Spiritual. Since, Many Years Now Connected to Krishna Consciousness too,, that is why for love & affection i am here at PURI. Kindly, Let me Know Your Precious Opinion by which I can Come out with my Loneliness. **HARE*KRISHNA** Thanking you, With Regards, Surajit Bhattacharjee, In Case if You have a Plan to Visit Puri, Odisha,, Kindly, Let me Know Your Date & Place to See **MAHABAHU**JAGANNATHA*,, You may Send by Your family & friends too with Prior Advance & info.
Ans: I understand that you are going through a very challenging and emotionally taxing situation. It's clear that you care deeply for your wife and son and want to find a resolution to the issues that have led to your separation. However, I am not a legal expert, and my responses are not a substitute for legal advice. It's essential to consult with an attorney who specializes in family law in your jurisdiction for guidance tailored to your specific circumstances.

Here are some general steps you might consider taking:

Consult with a Family Law Attorney: Seek the advice of a qualified family law attorney in your area who can help you navigate the legal aspects of your situation. They can provide guidance on divorce, custody, and any other legal matters that may arise.
Mediation: Mediation is often a more amicable and less adversarial way to resolve conflicts related to divorce and separation. A trained mediator can help facilitate discussions between you and your wife to find mutually agreeable solutions.
Child Custody and Support: Given your son's involvement, it's crucial to ensure that his best interests are protected. Discuss child custody, visitation, and child support arrangements with your attorney and potentially through mediation.
Therapeutic Intervention: If communication and emotional issues are at the core of your problems, consider involving a family therapist or counselor. They can help facilitate productive discussions and address underlying emotional concerns.
Keep Records: Document any interactions or communication you have with your wife or her family. This can be useful in legal proceedings and may help support your case.
Stay Connected with Your Son: Continue to provide emotional support and be involved in your son's life as much as possible, even if you are physically separated.
Explore Community Resources: Look for local support groups or community resources that can provide emotional support and guidance during this challenging time.
Remember that every situation is unique, and the best course of action may vary depending on the specific details of your case. Seeking professional legal and therapeutic guidance is crucial in navigating complex family issues. Additionally, it's important to remain patient and persistent in your efforts to find a resolution while prioritizing the well-being of your son throughout the process.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1788 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi, request you to give me some advise in a sticklish issue I am in.. i presently work in Gurgaon with a good stable job having good salary and perks / benefits.. I am married and have two kids (8 and 1 years old). My wife used to work initially but after the first kid had stopped working and used to freelance just to keep herself occupied and we never really relied on the money she used to make. Now she is getting together with some of her friends to start an business avenue in Bangalore for which she will have to be constantly at Bangalore . She keeps saying that she will keep travelling to n fro but sometimes she says let's just shift there. I am not averse to shifting but I work in a niche area for which there.is not much scope in southern India . At best. Mumbai is the next lucrative option.. my wife also says that she will take the younger one with her and also would prefer to take the elder one with her and get her admitted at Bangalore. Problem is i will be left alone. I want my wife to be happy and don't want to stop her though all the elders in the family like her parents are against it. I feel some how that stopping her forcefully is not going to keep her happy which will.only manifest into unhappiness for all of us . I hve tried talking to her about it but she keeps parroting that this is my dream and I want to do it come what may. So I feel like I am no longer a priority. Also I feel she spends more time on phone with her friends rather than with me though I also appreciate that a start up would need time and effort. Between i am 40 years and she is 3 years younger than me.. Please advise me what should I do and react. I am sometimes very lost these days. I have even had bouts of BP even though I am not a BP patient. I sometimes ask myself the question why did I ever get married. My life seemed fine before all these developments. I am really lost in this sea of issues. I used to feel that I have been blessed with a wonderful life by God , great family, job everything that this issue is loosing my sanity . kindly help and advise for heavens sake before I go into depression or something like that .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's a lot of turmoil, I can agree...
Before making a decision, as a couple, here's a few brainstorming points:
- How are finances going to be impacted with two different establishments? (Mumbai and Bangalore are very expensive cities to live in)
- How is the baby going to be cared for while Mom is away working? (Start ups demand a lot of time and energy and the baby needs a lot of stimulation to have a steady growth; physically and emotionally)
- How will the older child cope with the shift, and live without having the Mom around? (Age 8 is too young to be able to fathom this separation and this can lead to anxiety related issues later in life)

Of course, you are being kind and being selfless wanting to support your wife's career, but separating the family at this juncture will have its side effects; not being cynical or judgemental BUT it's a fact that a family that stays together, prospers together.

The other option is: you shift to Bangalore OR she continues in Mumbai...Now, you will need to do the same exercise as above as couple factoring in how either decision will impact the other. But the huge gain is: The children will have their parents together at a tender age and focus on their childhood...

You win some, You lose some, right? Every decision will involve a fair amount of navigation to arrive at what's best!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11009 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 18, 2026

Career
Sir, My son has appeared in Class X ICSE Exam and results are awaited. So far , he has been an average performer academically. I believe he is capable and he can do great if he puts in the hard work. His performance in subjects like History/Geography etc has always been better than in Maths/science. I personally never wanted to force him to choose any stream for higher studies. He also is not sure about it. While discussing I suggested him to go for Commerce or humanities stream and then for MBA from a reputed institution. However, he is more concerned about job opportunities and wanted to go for science. Hence, after a lot of discussion, we have got him admitted in Science stream in Delhi and also got him enrolled in Allen for JEE Coaching. We thought if he adapts well and gets going, then may be he can achieve good result. Otherwise, we may decide to change stream after Class XII. What is your opinion? Request for your suggestion please
Ans: Shyam Sir, I have thoroughly reviewed your son’s background. You haven’t mentioned whether he is continuing with the ISC board or has enrolled in the CBSE board with Allen-JEE coaching for this 11th/12th Grade. Firstly, I recommend a psychometric test for your son to gain a rough idea of the most suitable career options for him.

Secondly, job opportunities exist across domains, but to be competitive, your son must have passion and interest in his chosen field and continuously upgrade both technical and soft skills relevant to that domain.

Thirdly, besides understanding suitable career options through the psychometric test, ask him what types of problems he is interested in solving in the future.

Fourthly, since you mentioned his performance is better in History and Geography than in Science and Maths, Allen-JEE coaching would be suitable only if he is truly interested in Maths and Science. If not, his performance may fall short of expectations, leading to demotivation.

My suggestion is to consider enrolling him in the Arts/Humanities stream with a focus on Geography-centric subjects. Later, he can pursue civil services, media, law, or management studies. Reassess his progress after about a year (by December 2026), focusing on his interest, mental health, and realistic performance rather than perceived job security alone.

Before he completes 11th grade (by February 2026), you both can collectively decide and start preparing for entrance exams in law, media, or management (CUET, CLAT, IPMAT, NPAT, SET etc.) based on his interests and future plans. ALL the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11009 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 18, 2026

Career
Sir my son is expected to score 90+% in 12th boards typically between 93-95% of board marks .. and 90% and above pcm cutoff .. is he now eligible with this met score of 125 marks and 12th score for admission in mit manipal mechanical? . . Also i need a guidance about aeee also . Since my son scored 90.3 percentile in aeee entrance phase . Is he eligible for slab 1 mechanical engineering in aeee ? Kindly support pl
Ans: Bala Sir, I have already addressed the first part of your question, confirming that the chances of him getting admission into the Mechanical branch at Manipal are higher. The official handbook of AMRITA states that seat allotment and scholarship consideration are done through CSAP allotment. Your son may secure a Mechanical seat, but Slab 1 cannot be guaranteed unless his final AEEE rank or JEE percentile is strong enough at the time of CSAP choice allotment. Slab 1 is based on merit ranking, not raw marks. His 125 AEEE marks will be converted into a rank relative to all candidates; if many score higher, the Slab 1 cutoff will rise. Therefore, raw marks alone do not guarantee Slab 1.

The chance of getting a Mechanical seat from Slab 2 is moderate at Amrita Coimbatore and highly probable at the Bengaluru campus. It’s advisable to have 2-3 backup options besides Manipal and Amrita. Mechanical Engineering is generally less competitive than CSE or ECE, but having backups is still wise. ALL the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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