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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |674 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2025
Relationship

So I had breakup I dont know but things happen so drastically he has given commitment to me that he will marry me we was in a relationship for 5.5 years of relationship I was already married to him in my mind we was also physically involved he started his business in partnership of sandwichs I understand he was quite busy but he did not message me for 3 long days I used to remain confused about where he is and what he is doing I ask for clarity to him than he said that he cannot take it anymore and cannot handle me as He was not even messaging me he had ghost me I asked him if he like another girl but he said no the guy once was committed to me suddenly said he cannot take it he ended it and move on , I am in middle of Cat preparation everything just sucks that I lost my virginity too It attacks my confidence I feel my life had ended as because who will accept a girl with past in this "No seal No deal" era I am not a object or product I am a human being My boyfriend move on what I will do stck in there but will I ever endup in happy married life with such past, Can I share this past to anyone or keep it as a hidden secret with me only

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very sorry you are going through such a tough time. First of all, this ‘no seal no deal’ is the brainchild of extremely insecure people. You should not have to worry about that. If, in the future, you start dating someone, and you decide to tell them about your past and they say something that indicates this mentality, you should reconsider the relationship. Your past is your past. Whatever happened between you and your ex was out of love. And it isn’t a flaw in you. Remember, you deserve as much happiness and love as any other person. Coming to whether you can ever share your past or not- that is entirely up to you. There is no hard and fast rule that you must tell your partner every single detail of your past relationship history. But I strongly suggest focusing on finding someone with whom you can share anything without fear of judgment.


In the end, I’d again like to remind you that the choice to disclose your past is on you. No one can pressure you to talk about it, or not sharing the same doesn’t make you guilty of anything. For now, please stop worrying about all these and focus on keeping yourself happy and moving forward. You deserve someone who will love you every day and for everything you are.
Hope this helps.

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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am struck in a morally complicated situation right now. Kindly guide me . I'm a modern woman yet who believes in culture. I am 24years old female from South India. Currently arrange marriage alliance process is going on and it is almost about to be finalized if i say yes. I have had a 3 serious relationship s in my past and the last one i was physically involved because i believed we would end up together. Even our families were involved we were about to get engaged. everything went fine until one day we had a huge fight and later as a result he didn't want to continue it anymore. He broke it off. This happened 1.5 years back and I loved him too much that I wanted him to comeback. Deep down i know he was not right guy for me yet i wanted him. About 2 months back I had a sudden realisation that hit me very bad I realised I need to move on and mentally I was able to disconnect myself from him, not completely but yeah i did. Now in the current situation the guy who is my potential fiance, I want to be transparent with him but I am not sure how well he will take it as we barely know each other. I met him only twice. He seems interested to marry me. I do not want to ruin his trust or feelings. The problem is I am not sure if he is open minded enough to accept my past. I'm willing to put in my efforts to make things work in marriage and keep my past behind me. If I tell him about my past and he is not interested to proceed and reject us my family will be upset ( they liked this match cuz the guy was nice and decent, his family and everything was convenient to them). I am totally stressed out as my family is waiting for my response to proceed further. The guy doesn't seem to be very particular about anything. I don't know what to do and how to do it.
Ans: I totally understand your concern. My advise is not to get into arrange marriage in the first place. Because that's a very transactional relationship. Go out, meet more guys and then see if you find someone you love. You are too young to give into the pressure of arrange marriage. However if you still want to proceed, then whether you tell him or not doesn't really matter. It depends on his mindset and value system which i have no idea about and probably you too. So even if you don't tell him, it doesn't matter. If you want to be honest which is a good thing, then you embrace that uncertainty of his reaction to it.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello..I met him on Jan 4 th of 2024.. this year he is not with me. We were in a relationship for almost 8 months. Everything was fine and blissful. Last December he told me he needs some time to decide about our relationship. First of all it was a blow to my confidence..I thought he will stay by my side no matter what it is. After a few days he told me he wants to move on. I was in no contact for 10 days. After I went back and called him..he told me he is talking with another girl and he likes her and going to marry her. My world was broken. The reason for this? Our horoscopes doesn't match also he brings up caste differences even though there is not much difference. We were each other's best friends cared and loved each other so much. Stood by eachother's tough times..I begged him I cried d...I lost all my self respect..I somehow wanted to keep him with me...but he threw me away. It pains a lot. I haven't recovered yet..but he is going to marry her very soon...the toughest part here is I have to see him everyday atleast for the next 6 months. How will I handle if he gets engaged? How will I handle when he gives out his wedding cards? I have big goals in life I want to achieve them. But I am terrified what if it all crumbles because of my inability to handle this pain and suffering? What should I do? Your suggestion is very much needed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You did invest too much of yourself in him; but who can stop the way feelings move, right?
As hard as it maybe to accept this reality, move on...initially, it will be painful, but it's not worth losing yourself to anyone. Protect your identity and know that it does not stem from anyone or anything BUT it's YOU who defines it.
Maybe the past year that you lost time and could not focus on your goals, this year can be your year. Let him do what he needs to; why focus on someone who did not have the decency or courage to tell you things on your face. What will you gain by actually being with a person like that? I am sure you deserve much more...
Your goals and aspirations need you; go for it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |674 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 08, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I have been in relationship with my boyfriend for the past 11 months..and its gonna be a year in this April.I love him so much that I am in a point that I can't let him leave me nor I can leave him.He gives me the support and love I always wished for.There is nothing more than him that I want in my life.But the issue is with my past. When he proposed me itself, I told the harsh truth about my past relationship,that I am not virgin like him and I got pregnant with my ex .And since he is virgin he can't accept the fact that I lost my virginity.In the beginning of the relationship he has told me if he is virgin, he wants his girl also to be virgin.If he was not a virgin then this won't be a problem for him. He can't understand nor he can't accept that I lost my virginity and got pregnant.There is a twist to this story also.In the beginning I told him that I have got pregnant in my past, but after that I told him I am not sure because my test results I saw was negative. I am not sure whether I got pregnant or not, my doctor is telling me its all my hallucinations.I have been dealing with anxiety since 7 years and I am having treatment.My padt is not affecting me now but it is affecting him making him overthink a lot and I can't see him suffer like this.Before I came to his life,he was telling his family that he don't want marriage and he will be single for life.I know that my past is not smthg that every boy can accept.But he told me that he can't accept my past ever in this life nor he can't stop overthinking about it.And because of this he wants to leave me even though he loves me.He literally told me that he can fight for me and be in a relationship with me but with the condition that I have to see him suffer.I told him to see my doctor who can better explain my past to him.But it's been months I have been telling him this and still now he didn't took an effort to see my doc.I can't even imagine spending a moment of my life with him.I found my home in him.But my concern is that is he loving me like I do.If he loves me that much he will stick on to that one reason to be with me and he is not doing.Other than the fact that he can't accept my past and it is making him suffer,everything between us is good.Should we consult a relationship expert.He told me that it is better to end this now rather than getting married in future and face problems because of this and fighting with each other and finally getting a divorce.He might be correct if this issue is not resolved now,it might create problems in the longrun.But the thing is I can't change my past and whatever happened to me was not my fault.My past has become a curse in my current relationship.I can assure that my past will not create any issue in our marriage if he can accept it somehow and not overthink about it.If we continue this relationship he have to live with the overthinking about my past for my happiness.Otherwise also if we both breakup I will suffer more because of it and he too will also suffer because he left me.He is telling that the problem is with him that he can't accept my past.What should I do to fix this problem and make him accept my past and understand my love for him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry that you are in such a tricky situation. It looks like you already know that your past is not your fault, so I don't have to remind you of that. I just want you to keep reminding yourself the same thing whenever you feel the doubts creeping in. Now, coming to your partner- though it is a little unfair that he is judging you by your past, it would also be unfair to him because he clearly mentioned that he wants someone like himself; someone without any intimate experience. I cannot explain to you why that is important to so many people, but since he has been upfront about his preference, I think it is only fair to let him decide what he wants with this relationship. Also, if he is convinced that this past thing will cause problems in the future, it really isn't the best decision to move on with the relationship like everything is okay. Accept that things are not alright, and give him the space to cool down. Do not try to convince him to get back together- I know it will be hard but it is extremely important for both your futures. If he comes back, then great. If he doesn't, you should know that it's for the best.
I know you think your life will be messed up without him, and you will forever be sad, but you are wrong. It won't. Great things will happen to you because you deserve them all.
Best Wishes.

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |174 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2025
Relationship
Hi Shalini ji I was in a serious relationship for 6 years with a boy whom I met on the 1st day of my college. He was from a different caste. Hence when my parents got to know they disapproved of it very strictly so I knew it wasnt going to work that easily. After sometime they started asking to get married. It was an ultimate pressure while we both were preparing for some government exams. I went through utter confusion and I got stuck between trying to study and at the same time thinking about my future with him. I was pressurised by my family including my brother and parents to leave him. Meanwhile I decided to not to carry it forward because I couldn't leave my parents for whole life to be with him because it was either him or my family. I lost all the focus towards my studies due to this decision and also started talking to some other boy (he was from my own caste accidently) whom I met accidentally at an exam centre for comfort. I got a brief moments of happiness with him. I confide my pain in him. Suddenly something happened in my family ,between my parents. And my mother started acting like you can choose your own partner for life because somehow she lost trust on my father. She even was comfortable with my brother's marriage with the one whom he loves. Now I feel completely betrayed because for them I left love of my life and got into another relationship with the boy I met at an exam center ( which now I feel was a hasty decision as I felt alone and depressed). Now no one talks about my real love and what i think about it for the future. I am in a complete state of repentance. I feel like I betrayed him. Now when i think of getting back to him I hesitate a lot because I think that I took a wrong decision due to the pressure and under stress. The person I am with now, I feel is not what I wanted as a partner and I feel that he is not mentally supportive. I wnat to leave him as well. What should I do now to be happy?
Ans: 1. Happiness is in your hand
2. You sound like an adult, over 21 and someone who knows what is right and what is not - so take action
3. If you are not happy in your current relationship, come out of it.
4. If you wish to reconnect with your earlier partner do so, but keep in mind he may not be single and if he is he will not be how you knew him, as in he will come with his own experience of life.

all the best.

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear madam I have this suitaution in my life. Plz do guide me with this. So i have 2 married sisters and a brother with who i dont get along well. We used to be close back then. Later on my father passed away and then i got busy searching work. After getting work i got carried away with my newly found friendship with a boy i started spending much on him rather then my family. But still then i never neglected my family every kind of help i tried to give them. In the meanwhile i used to take care of my bedridden grandmother who used to stay in another state. Then my second sister started feeding everyone's mind against me saying i dont help them with money and i spend most on my grandmother and cousin. Though my sister were earning well still they waited me to spend on them which i stopped by then as they were earning. And there used to be a real good fight with my sisters and me regarding money issue and als my marriage thing and i gave them bitter words and also curses which i regret to this day thinking how could i do hated thing to my family .In next few years my sister got married but my second sister never invited me for her marriage and did all her wedding plans in my absence and i als never attended her wedding. I attended my 3rd sister wedding. After that my second sister plotted a plan against me by taking everyone on her side and kept me out of all the family functions. I just ignored them and decided to never to get bothered by any of this. Now the problem my 3rd sister is pregnant and they have planned a babyshower and like they are just telling me to attend it. To be honest they just told me a day before the function. How to handle this. Should i attend? And how to deal with such kind of people they seem to take advantage of my helpless. Please guide me on how to become a strong girl while taking desicion.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Learn the skill of staying away from all this drama. If you felt secure with who you are, you wouldn't think much whether you got invited or not. Do remember, people will be on your side sometimes and not on your side at other times. This goes for friends are family; so learn to be comfortable with that...
What you did for your grandmother is a choice that you made; why expect anything in return?
Life lived with least expectations is certainly a happier life...counting what people did or didn't do will take away your peace!
Real strength is not in fighting it out but knowing when to walk away from constant drama.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 18, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10848 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 17, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, What is the best % of SWP one can think of from Portfolio value. I am retired now and have say 1 Cr as MF and Share portfolio. I want to go for 40000 SWP per month thereby making 4.8% as SWP. If this is good to have this for 15 yrs
Ans: Your question shows great care for your financial future. Many retirees ignore this step. You have already taken a wise move. You want steady income. You want safety. You want long life for your money. These are very important points. I truly appreciate your clarity.

» Understanding your present plan
Your idea is simple. You have Rs 1 crore. You want Rs 40000 each month. This means Rs 4.8 lakh each year. That is 4.8 percent of your money. This is not very high. This is not very low. It sits in the middle range. Many retirees try for 7 or 8 percent. That can put pressure on the portfolio. Your 4.8 percent is more reasonable. It supports discipline. It keeps stress low.

Your idea is for 15 years. That is a good time frame. It gives space for your funds to grow. It gives time for market cycles. It also gives time for inflation adjustments.

» Why withdrawal rate matters
Your SWP rate decides how long your money will last. A high rate can drain funds soon. A very low rate may not support your monthly needs. Your 4.8 percent sits well. It balances life needs and portfolio health.

When you draw money from a mixed portfolio, the growth side helps refill your withdrawn money. The stability side helps reduce fall during bad years. This mix helps the SWP stay steady.

» Why a proper structure is important
A SWP is not only a monthly withdrawal. It is a full system. The system needs planning. It needs regular reviews. It needs a clear asset split. It needs a cushion for weak market years.

If you set this structure well now, your SWP can stay safe. Your money can stretch for many years. You can keep peace of mind.

» The importance of a balanced mix
Your portfolio may hold equity funds, hybrid funds, and debt funds. A clear mix reduces risk. It gives smooth cash flow. Equity gives growth. Debt gives steady flow. Hybrid gives balance.

Because you want monthly income for 15 years, you need a balance that supports steady SWP. A pure equity plan can shake too much. A pure debt plan may not grow at a good pace. A balanced mix is ideal.

» Equity funds need careful use
Some investors put large money in equity for SWP. This can work in strong markets. This can fail in weak markets. Your SWP must survive both market moods. That is why pure equity for SWP is not safe.

Also, you should prefer actively managed funds over index funds for long SWP. Index funds follow the index blindly. They do not manage risk actively. They cannot adjust to market cycles. Actively managed funds have a professional fund manager. A skilled manager helps in limiting risk in low years. This helps protect principal in SWP years. This support is not present in index funds.

» Debt funds form the stabiliser
Debt funds bring peace to the portfolio. They help during bad market years. They help the SWP stay steady. Because debt funds follow market rates, they work as the anchor. For SWP, this anchor is very helpful.

If you use direct debt funds, you must remember that direct funds need more tracking. They need active reviews by you. Many retired investors find this hard. Regular plans taken through a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP skill provide guidance. Regular plans also give handholding. This handholding helps avoid wrong exits.

» How to view your Rs 40000 monthly need
You may need some money for basic needs. You may need some money for health care. You may need some money for family support. You may need some money for personal comfort. Rs 40000 per month seems a balanced number.

It does not put too much pressure on the money. It is not a very heavy load. It fits well with a Rs 1 crore fund.

» Inflation needs attention
Inflation will rise. Costs will rise. Your need will rise. Your SWP should rise slowly over time. You cannot fix your SWP for 15 years at one number. That may reduce your buying power.

A small rise every two or three years will help you beat inflation. This rise must be slow. It must match your portfolio growth.

» Risk of sharp market falls
Sharp falls can disturb SWP. A sudden big drop in equity value can pull down your portfolio. This may cause you to withdraw when market is low. That is not good. To fix this, you need enough stability in your mix.

A proper allocation in debt funds and hybrid funds can reduce this issue. You will get smoother cash flow. You will not have to worry about market news every day.

» Role of emergency money
Please keep an emergency amount. Keep this aside. Do not include it in your SWP plan. You may need money for urgent health needs. You may need money for home needs. Emergency funds help you avoid sudden selling.

A good emergency fund gives peace. It protects your SWP from sudden shocks.

» Tax rules for withdrawals
Every SWP withdrawal may include some gains. Tax will apply based on the type of fund and the gain period. This tax can have impact on net flow. You must plan for this in your withdrawal design.

Equity fund rules:

Gains under one year are short-term. These are taxed at 20 percent.

Gains above one year are long-term. Long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5 percent.

Debt fund rules:

Both short-term and long-term gains are taxed as per your tax slab.

This tax part should not scare you. A proper plan can reduce the tax burden. A planned SWP can help you manage gains carefully.

» Why a Certified Financial Planner helps
You may handle small things by yourself. But retirement planning is delicate. One wrong move can disturb the whole plan. A Certified Financial Planner gives a clear road map. He helps you set the best mix. He reviews the plan every year. He adjusts the plan for market and life events.

This guidance is very useful in SWP because SWP needs discipline.

» Why not consider real estate
Some retirees think of using real estate for income. But real estate needs heavy work. It needs tenant work. It needs repair work. It needs legal care. It gives lumpy income. It gives no steady flow. So it is not fit for SWP planning.

Your present goal is steady income. Real estate will not give this.

» Why not consider annuities
Annuities give fixed income. But they lock your money. They give low returns. They do not beat inflation well. They reduce flexibility. For these reasons, they are not ideal for your long-term income.

Your idea of SWP with balanced mix is better.

» Keeping your portfolio healthy for 15 years
To keep your portfolio safe for 15 years, you must follow some habits:

Review every year with a Certified Financial Planner.

Adjust asset mix if needed.

Increase SWP amount slowly.

Reduce SWP for one or two years if markets fall very deep.

Protect your money from emotional moves.

Keep a two-year buffer in a low-risk fund.

Keep your growth part running for long.

These habits help your money last for the full 15-year horizon.

» Regular review helps you adapt
Markets will change. Your health may change. Your needs may change. A yearly review will help align your plan. It will help spot issues early. It will help guide the next year’s SWP.

Without reviews, even good plans can fail.

» Why a two-year cushion helps
A cushion fund is a simple idea. Keep two years of SWP in a low-risk debt fund. This money helps you draw income even in bad market years. You will not need to sell equity in weak phases. This protects your overall money. This makes your SWP more stable.

This cushion fund is an extra shield. It supports your 15-year income plan.

» Role of diversification
Your SWP works best when your portfolio is spread well. A spread can include:

Actively managed equity funds.

Hybrid funds.

Debt funds.

This spread reduces risk. It gives smoothness. It supports long-term income.

Avoid using too many funds. Keep it simple. A small number of quality funds is better.

» How your 4.8 percent looks in practice
A 4.8 percent withdrawal rate is comfortable for a 15-year horizon. If you follow discipline, your money will not face heavy pressure. If your portfolio grows at a steady pace, your principal will not erode fast. Even if growth shifts between years, the mixed structure will protect you.

Your plan is workable. It is sensible. It is future-friendly.

» Mistakes to avoid
Here are some mistakes you should avoid:

Do not chase high-return funds.

Do not raise SWP sharply in one year.

Do not keep too much money in equity.

Do not stop reviews.

Do not shift funds often without reason.

Do not look at direct plans if you prefer guidance.

These mistakes can disturb your portfolio health. Your SWP may suffer.

» Why not use direct funds if you need support
Direct plans give lower cost. But they give no guidance. Retired investors often need guidance. They need reviews. They need discipline. A regular plan through a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP skill gives support. It prevents panic reactions. This support is valuable in low market years.

» Healthy mindset for SWP
Try to see your SWP as a long journey. It needs calm mind. It needs steady steps. It needs slow corrections. It needs patience. If you stay steady, your SWP will stay healthy. You will enjoy peace.

» Practical steps you can start now
You may start with these steps:

Set clear needs for each year.

Fix a proper asset split.

Create a cushion fund for two years.

Start SWP from a low-risk fund or hybrid fund.

Keep equity for growth.

Add small hikes in SWP every few years.

This system supports long-term income.

» How your plan supports a joyful retired life
Your plan helps you live with comfort. It gives predictable cash flow. It gives you freedom from worry. It gives you clarity. You can focus on health, family, and peace. You do not need to watch markets each day.

Your retirement life becomes balanced.

» Final Insights
Your idea of taking Rs 40000 per month from a Rs 1 crore portfolio at 4.8 percent is workable. It fits well for a 15-year horizon. It supports your income. It protects your money if you set a balanced mix. You must follow steady reviews. You must keep a small cushion. You must avoid risky moves.

With these practices, your SWP plan can stay healthy for many years. Your future can stay peaceful and steady. You have already taken the right first step. Your clarity gives your plan strong power.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |2567 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Nov 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 17, 2025Hindi
Career
Is it worthwhile being an mbbs only doctor in India or is pg necessary as somebody who cannot toil 24-36 hours (as is the case with hospital duties) and is not well adequate for working under somebody and then do you still have to study after mbbs to level up or will you be contented with just mbbs. Pls don't answer objectively i really need to see the real picture
Ans: Hi Dr.
Recently, I've seen many different comments on social media suggesting that finding a job after completing an MBBS is very difficult, with some graduates even working as delivery boys.

I believe MBBS is one of the few courses that allows for immediate entrepreneurship after graduation, while other fields often require additional support to start a business. Many medical shop owners are willing to provide a small space for consultations, which is not typically an option for graduates in other disciplines.

If you are financially constrained, it may be wise to stop after completing your MBBS degree for the time being. However, pursuing a postgraduate degree (PG) significantly increases your opportunities, including potential roles in the pharmaceutical industry. Without a PG, your options may be limited. It's akin to the difference between a normal grocery store and a supermarket: completing a PG can lead to positions in corporate medical hospitals.

Initially, you might consider working at a smaller practice or in the government sector before pursuing higher education. While having an MBBS degree allows you to offer consultations, having a PG provides you with more credibility and knowledge. Understand your strengths and weaknesses, and don’t worry about others—proceed based on your own abilities and circumstances.
BEST WISHES.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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