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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |601 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2025
Relationship

So I had breakup I dont know but things happen so drastically he has given commitment to me that he will marry me we was in a relationship for 5.5 years of relationship I was already married to him in my mind we was also physically involved he started his business in partnership of sandwichs I understand he was quite busy but he did not message me for 3 long days I used to remain confused about where he is and what he is doing I ask for clarity to him than he said that he cannot take it anymore and cannot handle me as He was not even messaging me he had ghost me I asked him if he like another girl but he said no the guy once was committed to me suddenly said he cannot take it he ended it and move on , I am in middle of Cat preparation everything just sucks that I lost my virginity too It attacks my confidence I feel my life had ended as because who will accept a girl with past in this "No seal No deal" era I am not a object or product I am a human being My boyfriend move on what I will do stck in there but will I ever endup in happy married life with such past, Can I share this past to anyone or keep it as a hidden secret with me only

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very sorry you are going through such a tough time. First of all, this ‘no seal no deal’ is the brainchild of extremely insecure people. You should not have to worry about that. If, in the future, you start dating someone, and you decide to tell them about your past and they say something that indicates this mentality, you should reconsider the relationship. Your past is your past. Whatever happened between you and your ex was out of love. And it isn’t a flaw in you. Remember, you deserve as much happiness and love as any other person. Coming to whether you can ever share your past or not- that is entirely up to you. There is no hard and fast rule that you must tell your partner every single detail of your past relationship history. But I strongly suggest focusing on finding someone with whom you can share anything without fear of judgment.


In the end, I’d again like to remind you that the choice to disclose your past is on you. No one can pressure you to talk about it, or not sharing the same doesn’t make you guilty of anything. For now, please stop worrying about all these and focus on keeping yourself happy and moving forward. You deserve someone who will love you every day and for everything you are.
Hope this helps.

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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am struck in a morally complicated situation right now. Kindly guide me . I'm a modern woman yet who believes in culture. I am 24years old female from South India. Currently arrange marriage alliance process is going on and it is almost about to be finalized if i say yes. I have had a 3 serious relationship s in my past and the last one i was physically involved because i believed we would end up together. Even our families were involved we were about to get engaged. everything went fine until one day we had a huge fight and later as a result he didn't want to continue it anymore. He broke it off. This happened 1.5 years back and I loved him too much that I wanted him to comeback. Deep down i know he was not right guy for me yet i wanted him. About 2 months back I had a sudden realisation that hit me very bad I realised I need to move on and mentally I was able to disconnect myself from him, not completely but yeah i did. Now in the current situation the guy who is my potential fiance, I want to be transparent with him but I am not sure how well he will take it as we barely know each other. I met him only twice. He seems interested to marry me. I do not want to ruin his trust or feelings. The problem is I am not sure if he is open minded enough to accept my past. I'm willing to put in my efforts to make things work in marriage and keep my past behind me. If I tell him about my past and he is not interested to proceed and reject us my family will be upset ( they liked this match cuz the guy was nice and decent, his family and everything was convenient to them). I am totally stressed out as my family is waiting for my response to proceed further. The guy doesn't seem to be very particular about anything. I don't know what to do and how to do it.
Ans: I totally understand your concern. My advise is not to get into arrange marriage in the first place. Because that's a very transactional relationship. Go out, meet more guys and then see if you find someone you love. You are too young to give into the pressure of arrange marriage. However if you still want to proceed, then whether you tell him or not doesn't really matter. It depends on his mindset and value system which i have no idea about and probably you too. So even if you don't tell him, it doesn't matter. If you want to be honest which is a good thing, then you embrace that uncertainty of his reaction to it.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello..I met him on Jan 4 th of 2024.. this year he is not with me. We were in a relationship for almost 8 months. Everything was fine and blissful. Last December he told me he needs some time to decide about our relationship. First of all it was a blow to my confidence..I thought he will stay by my side no matter what it is. After a few days he told me he wants to move on. I was in no contact for 10 days. After I went back and called him..he told me he is talking with another girl and he likes her and going to marry her. My world was broken. The reason for this? Our horoscopes doesn't match also he brings up caste differences even though there is not much difference. We were each other's best friends cared and loved each other so much. Stood by eachother's tough times..I begged him I cried d...I lost all my self respect..I somehow wanted to keep him with me...but he threw me away. It pains a lot. I haven't recovered yet..but he is going to marry her very soon...the toughest part here is I have to see him everyday atleast for the next 6 months. How will I handle if he gets engaged? How will I handle when he gives out his wedding cards? I have big goals in life I want to achieve them. But I am terrified what if it all crumbles because of my inability to handle this pain and suffering? What should I do? Your suggestion is very much needed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You did invest too much of yourself in him; but who can stop the way feelings move, right?
As hard as it maybe to accept this reality, move on...initially, it will be painful, but it's not worth losing yourself to anyone. Protect your identity and know that it does not stem from anyone or anything BUT it's YOU who defines it.
Maybe the past year that you lost time and could not focus on your goals, this year can be your year. Let him do what he needs to; why focus on someone who did not have the decency or courage to tell you things on your face. What will you gain by actually being with a person like that? I am sure you deserve much more...
Your goals and aspirations need you; go for it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |601 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 08, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I have been in relationship with my boyfriend for the past 11 months..and its gonna be a year in this April.I love him so much that I am in a point that I can't let him leave me nor I can leave him.He gives me the support and love I always wished for.There is nothing more than him that I want in my life.But the issue is with my past. When he proposed me itself, I told the harsh truth about my past relationship,that I am not virgin like him and I got pregnant with my ex .And since he is virgin he can't accept the fact that I lost my virginity.In the beginning of the relationship he has told me if he is virgin, he wants his girl also to be virgin.If he was not a virgin then this won't be a problem for him. He can't understand nor he can't accept that I lost my virginity and got pregnant.There is a twist to this story also.In the beginning I told him that I have got pregnant in my past, but after that I told him I am not sure because my test results I saw was negative. I am not sure whether I got pregnant or not, my doctor is telling me its all my hallucinations.I have been dealing with anxiety since 7 years and I am having treatment.My padt is not affecting me now but it is affecting him making him overthink a lot and I can't see him suffer like this.Before I came to his life,he was telling his family that he don't want marriage and he will be single for life.I know that my past is not smthg that every boy can accept.But he told me that he can't accept my past ever in this life nor he can't stop overthinking about it.And because of this he wants to leave me even though he loves me.He literally told me that he can fight for me and be in a relationship with me but with the condition that I have to see him suffer.I told him to see my doctor who can better explain my past to him.But it's been months I have been telling him this and still now he didn't took an effort to see my doc.I can't even imagine spending a moment of my life with him.I found my home in him.But my concern is that is he loving me like I do.If he loves me that much he will stick on to that one reason to be with me and he is not doing.Other than the fact that he can't accept my past and it is making him suffer,everything between us is good.Should we consult a relationship expert.He told me that it is better to end this now rather than getting married in future and face problems because of this and fighting with each other and finally getting a divorce.He might be correct if this issue is not resolved now,it might create problems in the longrun.But the thing is I can't change my past and whatever happened to me was not my fault.My past has become a curse in my current relationship.I can assure that my past will not create any issue in our marriage if he can accept it somehow and not overthink about it.If we continue this relationship he have to live with the overthinking about my past for my happiness.Otherwise also if we both breakup I will suffer more because of it and he too will also suffer because he left me.He is telling that the problem is with him that he can't accept my past.What should I do to fix this problem and make him accept my past and understand my love for him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry that you are in such a tricky situation. It looks like you already know that your past is not your fault, so I don't have to remind you of that. I just want you to keep reminding yourself the same thing whenever you feel the doubts creeping in. Now, coming to your partner- though it is a little unfair that he is judging you by your past, it would also be unfair to him because he clearly mentioned that he wants someone like himself; someone without any intimate experience. I cannot explain to you why that is important to so many people, but since he has been upfront about his preference, I think it is only fair to let him decide what he wants with this relationship. Also, if he is convinced that this past thing will cause problems in the future, it really isn't the best decision to move on with the relationship like everything is okay. Accept that things are not alright, and give him the space to cool down. Do not try to convince him to get back together- I know it will be hard but it is extremely important for both your futures. If he comes back, then great. If he doesn't, you should know that it's for the best.
I know you think your life will be messed up without him, and you will forever be sad, but you are wrong. It won't. Great things will happen to you because you deserve them all.
Best Wishes.

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2025
Relationship
Hi Shalini ji I was in a serious relationship for 6 years with a boy whom I met on the 1st day of my college. He was from a different caste. Hence when my parents got to know they disapproved of it very strictly so I knew it wasnt going to work that easily. After sometime they started asking to get married. It was an ultimate pressure while we both were preparing for some government exams. I went through utter confusion and I got stuck between trying to study and at the same time thinking about my future with him. I was pressurised by my family including my brother and parents to leave him. Meanwhile I decided to not to carry it forward because I couldn't leave my parents for whole life to be with him because it was either him or my family. I lost all the focus towards my studies due to this decision and also started talking to some other boy (he was from my own caste accidently) whom I met accidentally at an exam centre for comfort. I got a brief moments of happiness with him. I confide my pain in him. Suddenly something happened in my family ,between my parents. And my mother started acting like you can choose your own partner for life because somehow she lost trust on my father. She even was comfortable with my brother's marriage with the one whom he loves. Now I feel completely betrayed because for them I left love of my life and got into another relationship with the boy I met at an exam center ( which now I feel was a hasty decision as I felt alone and depressed). Now no one talks about my real love and what i think about it for the future. I am in a complete state of repentance. I feel like I betrayed him. Now when i think of getting back to him I hesitate a lot because I think that I took a wrong decision due to the pressure and under stress. The person I am with now, I feel is not what I wanted as a partner and I feel that he is not mentally supportive. I wnat to leave him as well. What should I do now to be happy?
Ans: 1. Happiness is in your hand
2. You sound like an adult, over 21 and someone who knows what is right and what is not - so take action
3. If you are not happy in your current relationship, come out of it.
4. If you wish to reconnect with your earlier partner do so, but keep in mind he may not be single and if he is he will not be how you knew him, as in he will come with his own experience of life.

all the best.

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6464 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Career
Sir igot 444 and AIQ is 131279 iam obc ncl (kerala) there is any possibilities for BDS in government college.
Ans: Nibla, A NEET score of 444 falls below the typical marks cutoff for OBC-NCL candidates seeking BDS in government dental colleges, where qualifying marks range between 520–540 for OBC students. Similarly, All India BDS closing ranks under the 15 percent AIQ for OBC rarely exceed 35,000, whereas your AIQ rank is 131,279, placing you far outside the viable admission range. Nationwide only about 3,000 government BDS seats exist, and premier institutions such as SCB Dental College (Cuttack), Government Dental College (Bangalore), and Tamil Nadu Government Dental College (Chennai) closed with AIQ ranks under 30,000 for OBC. Under Kerala’s 85 percent state quota, Government Dental College, Thiruvananthapuram admitted OBC candidates with ranks up to 51,595 in earlier years, while Kottayam and Kannur closed within similar state-rank brackets, implying state ranks must be substantially lower than your AIQ conversion would yield. Consequently, securing a BDS seat in a government college appears highly unlikely. Consider prioritising private or deemed dental colleges with lower cutoffs and participating in both AIQ and state counselling to maximise admission options. Recommendation: Focus on private or deemed dental institutions, as government quota thresholds exceed reachable marks and ranks. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6464 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2025
Career
Which university is good among VIT, AMRITA AND SRM?
Ans: VIT Vellore maintains a 90–95% placement rate across the last three years, facilitated by 632–945 recruiters visiting annually and yielding over 3,300 super-dream (≥10 LPA) and 2,800 dream (≥6 LPA) offers in 2024, with a median package near ?9 LPA and strong tech-sector engagement from companies like Microsoft, Amazon and TCS. Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham Coimbatore records 90–100% placement consistency for its BTech cohorts, supported by 300+ recruiters including IBM, Wipro and Cognizant, with median salaries around ?7.75 LPA and emphasis on internships and research projects embedding industry standards early in the curriculum. SRM Chennai’s flagship Kattankulathur campus posts 85–90% placement rates over three years, hosting 980–1,313 recruiters and generating 5,500–9,000 offers annually, with average packages around ?7.2 LPA and core-engineering roles from Cognizant, Infosys and Ford. VIT leads in high-value dream offers and recruiter diversity, Amrita excels in top-end consistency and academic rigor, and SRM offers broad sectoral reach with strong core engineering streams.

Recommendation: Prioritise VIT Vellore for maximum high-value offer volume and expansive recruiter network, choose Amrita Coimbatore for nearly universal placement consistency and integrated research opportunities, and consider SRM Chennai if core engineering exposure and diverse sectoral hiring are primary goals. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8931 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2025
Money
Hello Sir, I want to redeem a mutual fund to reduce number of fund in my portfolio. This fund is of 5% allocation of my total portfolio and has not beaten the benchmark. I want to how to reinvest this redeemed amount to another MF, should I do SIP or lumpsum. Will lumpsum investment at current market effect the return or I should invest lumpsum without timing the market. My investment horizon is for 15 years. Also will this effect the compounding
Ans: You are thinking in the right direction. Streamlining your mutual fund portfolio is a smart move. Managing fewer, better-performing funds will help you get more focused growth.

You are planning to redeem a fund that has underperformed. That shows your awareness as an investor. Let us now look at the right way to reinvest the amount. Your investment horizon is long—15 years—which is an advantage.

Let us evaluate every angle in detail.

Why It’s Okay to Exit an Underperforming Fund
You mentioned this fund has only 5% weight in your portfolio. It has not beaten its benchmark. That’s a clear red flag.

Reasons to exit:

Fund not beating benchmark for 3 years or more

Fund manager or strategy changed

Poor consistency in performance

Other funds doing better in same category

Selling such funds is wise. It makes your portfolio clean and growth-focused.

One bad performer can pull down overall return. Removing it improves portfolio efficiency.

You made a good decision.

Where to Reinvest the Redeemed Amount
After selling, your goal is to reinvest in another mutual fund. Let us plan it properly.

You asked whether to do SIP or lumpsum. Both are useful, but must be used wisely.

First, identify where this money should go.

What type of fund should you choose:

If your existing fund mix is strong, add to an existing winner

Or choose a new fund with consistent 5-year and 10-year track record

Choose only actively managed funds, not index funds

Why avoid index funds:

Index funds copy the market without intelligence

They fall when the market falls. No protection

No chance to beat benchmark

Passive nature reduces wealth-building capacity

Fund manager has no freedom to select better stocks

Actively managed funds give you:

Expert decision-making

Freedom to shift between sectors

Better downside protection

Superior long-term results in Indian market

So always prefer actively managed mutual funds via regular plans.

SIP vs Lumpsum: Which One is Better?
Let us now come to your main question.

You want to know how to reinvest the amount. SIP or lumpsum?

Your investment horizon is 15 years. This is very long. So you can take equity exposure fully.

Still, timing matters when investing lumpsum.

Let us assess both methods side by side:

When Lumpsum Makes Sense
Lumpsum means investing full amount at once. It works in these conditions:

Market is already corrected or trading low

You are not emotionally affected by short-term falls

You will stay invested for full 15 years

You have chosen a good fund with strong past record

You don’t need this money for short-term goals

Benefits of lumpsum in long-term:

Full compounding starts from day one

Money is fully exposed to market

No waiting time, no idle money

Higher returns if market performs well after entry

But don’t forget, lumpsum needs mental stability.

What if market falls after lumpsum?

You may feel anxious

You may exit early due to fear

Short-term losses can affect your patience

That’s why timing does affect short-term performance. But not long-term growth if you stay invested for 15 years.

When SIP is Better
SIP is the habit of investing every month.

Even for lumpsum amounts, you can do STP (Systematic Transfer Plan).

STP means:

Keep the lump amount in liquid fund

Transfer fixed amount every month into the equity fund

Example: Rs. 50,000 per month for 6–10 months

Why STP is useful:

Reduces risk of market timing

Avoids investing entire amount at peak

Keeps you emotionally stable

Avoids regret in case of short-term correction

Creates smoother entry into equity

Use STP when:

Market is at all-time highs

Volatility is increasing

You are not sure about market direction

You want peace of mind during investment

So, STP is a balanced way to invest lump amounts.

Will Lumpsum Affect Compounding?
This is an important question.

Let us understand compounding clearly.

Compounding depends on:

Time invested

Return generated

Amount invested

Whether you do lumpsum or SIP, the key is how long money stays invested.

Lumpsum helps compounding start early. SIP creates compounding gradually.

In long term (15 years):

Lumpsum grows faster if invested at right level

SIP grows steadily but reduces entry timing risk

Both will give good results if fund is right

So yes, lumpsum helps compounding better if done at right time.

But STP gives you that benefit with safety.

You get smoother growth and still early compounding.

Ideal Strategy for Your Case
Let us now give you a proper, full-scope recommendation.

Step-by-Step Plan:
Redeem the underperforming fund.

Park the money in a liquid mutual fund (not savings account).

Start a 6-month STP to a high-quality active mutual fund.

Choose the fund after checking its 5-year, 10-year consistency.

Avoid new index funds or ETFs.

Use regular plans through Certified Financial Planner channel.

After STP ends, monitor that new fund every year.

This plan will:

Reduce timing risk

Start compounding early

Bring emotional comfort

Keep your investing smooth

Increase overall return stability

Additional Things to Keep in Mind
Since your money is being shifted, some more factors to remember:

Mutual Fund Capital Gains Tax Rules (Updated):

Equity fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%

STCG (below 1 year) taxed at 20%

These are recent rules. Plan redemptions smartly

Avoid frequent switches to reduce tax impact

Emotional Behaviour Risk:

Do not panic if market dips during STP

Do not stop investing after seeing short-term fall

Compounding works best when you do not interrupt

Yearly Review Required:

Check your fund’s performance yearly

Compare with peers in same category

Use this to decide future additions or redemptions

Work with a CFP to do regular health check-up of portfolio

Finally
You are thinking smart. Trimming funds and reallocating is a sign of maturity.

But always shift money with a goal and method.

Use these steps:

Avoid underperforming and index funds

Reinvest using STP into active mutual funds

Prefer regular plans with CFP guidance

Let money stay invested for full 15 years

Don't check NAV daily. Focus on yearly growth

Review fund quality yearly

Avoid timing the market too much

Stick with this method and your wealth will grow steadily.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6464 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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