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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |250 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi. I am female. I got attracted to this male. But it is not that much enough to fall in love. My friends thought that we will make a good pair. They kinda told me that he was in love with me for past one year. Due to the workplace he didnt reciprocate and to the close dates of my resignation due to my friends i told him that we can talk like a friends and we have to go with the flow. As of now we are talking and he is good. But still i am in dilemma. Due to my fear i told him that we wont work out and i stopped the conversation. But after some days he iniated the conversation and started to develop like a general talk. Later i told him that i liked him partially but not fully. He said that he will wait till i become comfortable. I dont have the oppurtunity to go out with him we are completely in chatting only. Sometimes i feel happy to chat with him but sometimes i dont feel anything i just feel numb. This is the first time for me in all the stuff. I told about this to my brother he didnt liked him. He know about my msgs and everything. But sometimes i think that i need better person than him but sometimes i need him. So what should i do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Seems like you are not quite in love with this person. Not everyone experiences love at first sight. Some love stories grow over time. You can try spending some more time with him and see where it goes. But if you are not satisfied with how strongly you feel for him or if you continue to feel that you deserve better, I strongly recommend giving it a thought. You don't want to settle for less out of peer pressure. And it would not be right to drag him and give him hope, especially since he has feelings for you.

There is no need to rush. Take your time. Think about it with a clear mind and make a choice.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, my story is quite big. I am 43 and I love a man of my caste who is 52. He is not married and my father had showed me his profile in 2006 for marriage. Those days I was not interested in marriage and so I rejected him. I saw his profile in March 2019 in matrimony and sent him interest and he gave me a reply. I fell in love with his profile in 2020 and further gave him reply on his mobile. I went to see him in Pune in 2020 October. Since then we have only been chatting on WhatsApp. When I asked for commitment in Feb 2021, he said his sister is not keeping well. Then he lost his father in August 2021. Earlier in 2020 he used to call me and we used to talk for hours. It all stopped in 2021 February when his sister fell sick. Now I stopped messaging him but he still keeps sending me some or other forwards. He says he wants to marry me (He said this Jan last year when I asked him if he is interested in marriage) but this year has been tough. I am really fed up of the delay. I still love him very much. He is very intelligent and professionally qualified and has good hobbies -- he is a Himalayan trekker and has sent me pics of his trek. He also encourages me to do many things but I am bored of the delay. Should I trust him and wait for him?
Ans:

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 30, 2022

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Relationship
I am a 25-year-old woman who is still not settled in life. I loved my relative who is 10 years older than me. He also not settled in life. He doesn't have property, no good family (his brothers are not good). When he asks about marriage I used to delay because of my career. At one point of time, he lost interest because of this delay. He is a good person but when we are spending time I am not much comfortable and excited as I was in the initial days of love – be it chats or calls. Recently I chatted with a stranger in Facebook and felt happier chatting with him than with my boyfriend. Somewhere I feel like I want to cut this relationship but I can't imagine him with our girls. If I marry him I won't get good family (relatives). He is not looking as good as he did before. Will I suffer any sexual issues with him in the future? He is still waiting for me.
Ans:

Dear Unknown,

It seems like you have moved away in mind and heart.

It does happen in few relationships as there might have not been a strong emotion attached when the relationship began, or the emotion ceases to exist as you have moved on and changed.

Good or bad? Neither…it happens.

Be rightful and do not lead him on.

It is not his fault that you feel the way that you do. But you do owe it to him to tell him how you feel now, so that he is not living in a love bubble.

So, break it to him gently and wait for his response. It maybe anger, sadness, disappointment.

Be with him through the process. He may not want to speak with you for a while till he gets a chance to process it fully; accept that. He may blame you; accept that as well.

It is not your fault, but he will not have any other safe space to vent out his feelings. And once this stage has passed, discuss it very maturely together as to what the next steps can be.

Till then, it will be only you dealing with this in the relationship when it has to be the business of both.

And as far as sexual issues go, I don’t find any relevance of it as age gap never hurt anyone’s sex life.

And what do his relatives have to do in your relationship? It’s the two of you (if you choose to be together mutually) and anyone else is just an unnecessary add-on piling on to make more mischief. Draw boundaries and live happy.

Now, time to come out clean and then maturely process and decide the future course of action.

My best wishes to you!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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Relationship
Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha , Iam in Inter 2 ne year now and yes it is yet to complete in two days and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk big longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Iam a person whiny understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 5 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but yesterday I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have Naeem friends ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me only I was ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away for one year or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Dear Seetha,
Yes, please stay away from this boy.
He has no clarity about what he wants or what he is doing. He wants you around and then doesn't and then again on his terms. Both of you need to become emotionally mature to handle a relationship.

Like he said: Give yourselves that time and space to focus on studies first. If you add all these confusions, your studies will suffer and you will end up feeling frustrated.
Put down a goal list with a timeline for your forthcoming exams and keep a check at the end of the day as to how much you have accomplished. This is the age for focusing on academics as well besides relationships. Right now, what seems most useful for you is your focus on academics and having a strong friends circle. This will not only distract you but also allow you to see that there is a lot of life outside of this boy that you are stuck on...So, move on, take a break and enjoy life and study hard!

Best wishes for a bright future!

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Relationship
Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times and mam Highlighting this point —-mam we had passionate romance twice but not that intensely and now I feel regret of doing so if he leaves me ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Seetha, he proposed to you. Then you got physical with him, then he conveniently said you’re better off as friends and blocked you! And then came up with this one year test nonsense! He’s taking you for a ride, and you’re falling for it; don’t be so stupid. I understand that you’re young, but you haven’t done anything wrong and there is no need to feel guilty about anything that has happened. What is important, however, is that you understand this boy is not quite as wonderful as you think he is! He’s taken advantage of you and now he’s trying to worm his way out of it. Cut him off completely, he’s no good. Focus on your studies and if you meet someone else, no harm in exploring a relationship. But this worm doesn’t deserve a minute of your time or attention.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

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Money
I am a salaried person My take home earning is 39.5K I have two daughter out of which elder one has completed teenage and second is teenager now. I am living on rent Please Suggest Some SIP funds name along with amount suggestion so that I can make my own home in next 10 years along with family liabilities. MY savings would be about 10 L - 11 L within six months.
Ans: You earn Rs. 39,500 per month. You have two daughters, one in her teens and the other has completed her teenage years. You live on rent and aim to buy a home in the next 10 years. Your savings will be about Rs. 10-11 lakhs within six months.

Investment Strategy
Monthly SIP Allocation
Given your goal of buying a home in 10 years, consider the following SIP allocations:

Large-Cap Funds: Allocate Rs. 5,000 monthly. These funds provide stability and steady returns.

Multi-Cap Funds: Allocate Rs. 5,000 monthly. These funds balance investments across different market capitalizations.

Hybrid Funds: Allocate Rs. 5,000 monthly. These funds mix equity and debt, balancing risk and return.

Mid-Cap Funds: Allocate Rs. 2,000 monthly. These funds offer higher growth potential with moderate risk.

Small-Cap Funds: Allocate Rs. 2,000 monthly. These funds can yield high returns but are riskier.

Lump Sum Investment
When your savings reach Rs. 10-11 lakhs, invest a portion in mutual funds and keep some as an emergency fund.

Emergency Fund: Keep Rs. 2-3 lakhs in a high-interest savings account or liquid fund.

Equity Mutual Funds: Invest Rs. 5 lakhs in a combination of large-cap, multi-cap, and mid-cap funds.

Debt Funds: Invest Rs. 2-3 lakhs in short-term debt funds for stability and moderate returns.

Diversification and Risk Management
Diversify Investments: Ensure your investments are spread across different asset classes to reduce risk.

Regular Monitoring: Review your investments periodically to ensure they are aligned with your goals.

Professional Advice
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can help tailor a plan to your specific needs and risk tolerance.

Final Insights
Start monthly SIPs in a diversified portfolio.

Allocate lump sum savings wisely.

Diversify investments to manage risk.

Regularly monitor your investments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 41 single female ,no kids, no dependents with no ancestral/ property for self. Just started MF 13k a month (in axis small cap 5k, axis flexi cap 5k & axis bluchip 3k) , PPF has 5L , NPS(T1) has 3L balance.PPF 8.5k a month & 6K in NPS are monthly investments apart from SIP. I m living on rent 21k a month . no EPF balance . Monthly fixed expenses are 70k , car loan & card emi 40k .I make about 1.4L a month. Have health insurance for 1cr . How much more should I invest on monthly basis to have a good retirement? Also the dilema of buying a house flat is always, as there are no dependents/ don't see any in future..no marriage plans in future too. So is it okay to stay on rent ? I have no other savings from the one mentioned above. I have utilised 80 C & 80 D investments completely car insurance & health insurance is about 60k a year
Ans: Current Financial Position

You have a well-structured investment plan with mutual funds, PPF, and NPS. Your monthly investments are focused on SIPs and contributions to PPF and NPS.

Investment Goals

Retirement Planning: Building a comfortable retirement corpus.

Debt Management: Paying off your car loan and credit card EMIs.

Housing Decision: Deciding between renting and buying a house.

Assessment of Current Investments

Mutual Funds (Rs 13,000 per month): You are investing in small cap, flexi cap, and bluechip funds. This provides a mix of high growth potential and stability.

PPF (Rs 5 lakhs): Offers safety and tax benefits. Your monthly contribution is Rs 8,500, which is good for long-term growth.

NPS (Rs 3 lakhs): Provides an additional retirement corpus with tax benefits. Your monthly contribution is Rs 6,000.

Recommendations

1. Increase Monthly Investments

To achieve a good retirement corpus, increase your monthly investments. Aim to save and invest at least 30% of your income. This means increasing your monthly investments to around Rs 42,000.

2. Focus on Debt Management

Prioritize paying off your car loan and credit card EMIs. This will free up funds for additional investments and reduce financial stress.

3. Housing Decision

Renting is a viable option if you do not have dependents and no plans to marry. It provides flexibility and avoids the long-term commitment of a home loan. Investing the funds instead of buying a house can potentially yield better returns.

4. Diversify Your Portfolio

While your mutual funds are well-chosen, consider adding a few more diversified funds to spread risk. Avoid direct funds; instead, invest through a Certified Financial Planner for better management and advice.

5. Maximize Tax Benefits

You are utilizing Section 80C and 80D benefits. Continue to do so and explore other tax-saving investments that align with your goals.

Final Insights

Your financial planning is on the right track. Focus on increasing investments and paying off debt. Renting is a practical choice given your circumstances. A diversified and well-managed investment portfolio will ensure a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello, I am 39 and I earn 1.5 lacs per month after Tax and Mandatory PF deduction. I have a total Loan EMI of around ?60,000 which will continue for the next 9 yrs. I have 38 lacs in provident Fund, 5 lacs in PPF, 5 lacs in Bank FD and 15 lacs in Equity MF(?40000/- SIP in 5 Different High Risk Portfolio). I am planning to retire at 50. Kindly guide me how to reach ?3 Crore Corpus Savings/Investment in the quickest possible way.?
Ans: Current Financial Overview
You earn Rs. 1.5 lakhs per month. You have a loan EMI of Rs. 60,000 for the next nine years. Your savings include Rs. 38 lakhs in provident fund, Rs. 5 lakhs in PPF, Rs. 5 lakhs in FD, and Rs. 15 lakhs in equity mutual funds. You invest Rs. 40,000 monthly in high-risk SIPs.

Goal Assessment
You aim to retire at 50 with a Rs. 3 crore corpus. Let's strategize to achieve this goal.

Investment Strategy
Increase SIP Contributions
To reach your goal, consider increasing your SIP contributions. Allocate more funds to a mix of mutual funds with varying risk profiles.

Large-Cap Funds: For stability and steady growth.

Multi-Cap Funds: For balanced exposure across market capitalizations.

Hybrid Funds: For a mix of equity and debt, balancing risk and return.

Increase your SIP contribution as your income grows or expenses reduce.

Optimize Current Investments
Provident Fund
Your provident fund is a strong base. Continue contributing to it for tax benefits and steady returns.

PPF and FD
PPF and FD offer safety but lower returns. Consider moving some FD funds to equity mutual funds for higher growth.

Debt Management
Loan Repayment
Prioritize repaying high-interest loans first. Consider refinancing to reduce interest rates. This will free up more funds for investment.

Diversification and Risk Management
Avoid Overconcentration
Ensure your investments are diversified. Avoid overconcentration in high-risk funds. Balance your portfolio with low and medium-risk investments.

Professional Advice
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can help tailor a plan to your specific needs and risk tolerance.

Final Insights
Increase SIP contributions in a diversified portfolio.

Balance high-risk funds with stable investments.

Optimize existing investments for better returns.

Focus on debt repayment to free up funds.

Consider professional financial advice for a tailored plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi I need advice from you. After 18.5 years of experience corporate sector, I lost my job recently. I am now in a confusion state that, should I again try for job ? or do business/ small job ? Currently my MF portfolio is 1 Cr ( Quant small 70 lakhs , HDFc mid cap 20 lakhs , Nippon small cap 8 lakhs, Canara roboco ELSS 2 lakhs) , having 10% profit as on date Also , I am planning to sell a land which is not growing as expected ( Approx 20 lakhs ) I have 2 houses , would like to sell one , ( Approx 50 lakhs ) Planning to Move all these funds into mutual funds With approx 1.7 cr, can I retire?
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
You have significant investments and assets. Your mutual fund portfolio is Rs. 1 crore with a 10% profit. You plan to sell land for Rs. 20 lakhs and a house for Rs. 50 lakhs, totaling an additional Rs. 70 lakhs. This would bring your total available funds to Rs. 1.7 crore.

Considering Retirement Feasibility
Living Expenses
To assess if you can retire, estimate your monthly living expenses. Include housing, food, healthcare, insurance, and leisure. For a comfortable retirement, consider inflation and increasing medical costs.

Withdrawal Rate
A safe withdrawal rate is around 4% per year. With Rs. 1.7 crore, you could withdraw Rs. 6.8 lakhs annually, or around Rs. 56,000 monthly. Ensure this aligns with your expected expenses.

Reinvestment Strategy
Diversified Mutual Funds
Consider reallocating your investments for diversification and risk management. Your current portfolio is heavily skewed towards small and mid-cap funds.

Large-Cap Funds: Include these for stability and steady returns.

Multi-Cap Funds: Offer exposure across market capitalizations, balancing risk and reward.

Hybrid Funds: Invest in both equity and debt for balanced growth and stability.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Consider an SWP for regular income. This will provide a steady cash flow while keeping your principal invested.

Alternative Options
Starting a Business
Starting a business can be rewarding but involves risks. Consider your interests, market demand, and initial investment. A small job could also provide income and maintain financial stability.

Seeking Employment
Returning to a corporate job can provide stability and benefits. It can also help you grow your retirement corpus further before fully retiring.

Final Insights
Evaluate your monthly expenses and future financial needs. Reallocate your portfolio for diversification. Consider an SWP for steady income. Explore small jobs or business opportunities, but weigh the risks. Returning to a corporate job can offer stability and growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hii...I am 32 and having 1 daughter of 3 years. I am currently working in a PSB with having salary of appx. 1.20 lac. My protfolios- 1. Shares- 4 lac 2. MF- 8 lacs 3. PPF- 10 lacs 4. Sukanya- 4 lacs 5. FD- 4 lacs 6. Property- 100 lacs Please suggest me for best investment plans.
Ans: Current Financial Position

You have a good salary and a well-diversified portfolio. Your investments include shares, mutual funds, PPF, Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana, FD, and property.

Investment Goals

Child’s Education and Marriage: Planning for your daughter's future.

Retirement: Building a corpus for a comfortable retirement.

Wealth Growth: Maximizing returns while managing risk.

Portfolio Assessment

Shares (Rs. 4 lakhs): Good for long-term growth but carry higher risk.

Mutual Funds (Rs. 8 lakhs): Provide diversified exposure. Consider actively managed funds for better returns.

PPF (Rs. 10 lakhs): Safe investment with tax benefits. Suitable for long-term goals.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (Rs. 4 lakhs): Excellent for your daughter’s future. Offers high interest and tax benefits.

Fixed Deposits (Rs. 4 lakhs): Safe but lower returns. Use for short-term needs and emergencies.

Property (Rs. 100 lakhs): Significant asset but consider its liquidity and maintenance costs.

Recommendations

1. Increase SIP Investments

Regularly invest in SIPs. Choose diversified equity and balanced funds. Aim to increase your SIP amount by 10% each year.

2. Child’s Education and Marriage Planning

Continue investing in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana. Consider child-focused mutual funds. These funds align with educational goals and future expenses.

3. Retirement Planning

PPF is a good start. Supplement it with mutual funds. Consider a mix of equity and balanced funds for growth and stability.

4. Portfolio Diversification

Maintain a diversified portfolio. This spreads risk and maximizes returns. Balance between equity, debt, and government schemes.

5. Active Fund Management

Avoid direct funds. Use regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner. They offer professional management and better guidance.

6. Minimize Real Estate Investment

Real estate is illiquid and requires maintenance. Focus on more liquid investments like mutual funds and PPF.

Final Insights

You have a strong financial base. Enhance it with disciplined SIP investments and diversified funds. Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and active fund management.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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