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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1809 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 31, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 28, 2025Hindi
Relationship

My father-in-law tried to manipulate my husband into moving back into their house. We have been married for 3 years but we live separately because of constant interference from my in-laws. Now my husband feels guilty and wants to return, even though I’m uncomfortable. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you move back because your husband is being guilt-tripped, you know how your marriage is going to turn out. Is it possible for an elder cousin or someone close to the two of you to step in and actually play the role of a guide. He/she need not take sides but try and bridge the gap in understanding between you and your husband. so that the two of you come together and deal with the situation with your in-laws in a very matter-of-fact manner.
Any decision in challenging situations made on an impulse is never going go well. So, get to a place where you and your husband can freely talk about this where the guide can be unbiased party.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1809 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu, I have been married for 3 years. Everything is going well with my husband except there is one problem. If there is anything wrong done by his parents, he never takes a stand or protests.My in-laws are not very friendly people.After our marriage they have never tried to keep in touch with my parents or at least have the courtesy to invite once to their house. My parents have frequently tried to invite them and also tried to keep contact but nothing is achieved if it's one-sided. I told my husband about all this but he never ever tried to explain or correct them of their wrong doings.My mother-in-law had also insulted me few times raising questions on how I was brought up within the first year of our marriage. And later as well. I work and sometimes due to prolong working hours I am not able to contribute to household work. My mother-in-law started asking if at all I do any household work or whether I am always busy with my office work. She already knew that I would be working after marriage and was fine with it.Because of the lockdown we are staying with them for a long period and I am embarrassed to tell this but every day is killing me. When I stay with them I have to be a totally different person. I have to live their lifestyle which is totally opposite to how I used to live with my husband alone.Because of all the above circumstances, I am not keen on staying with them. I don't see a future where I can stay with them. I am ready to take care of them but can't stay under one roof. My husband is well aware of my feelings. But never does anything about it. Every time I tell him, he blames me that I don't want him to stay with his parents. Else he takes good care of me and is a good person. My parents also like him except this one complaint.I am totally clueless now how to make him understand because we end up fighting rather than discussing. In the long run I can't stay with my in-laws because our lifestyle doesn't match and of course the hurtful things they have done. They are not even ready to adjust rather would expect me to completely change for them. And that's what dreads me.I can't live in this way for long. It is causing me a lot of mental stress.Please provide your valuable suggestions.
Ans:

Dear SN,

Hasn’t the lockdown ended for a while now?

Why are you still with them?

What was the initial reason of moving in with them?

Does that reason still exist?

Being part of a joint/extended family system isn’t a cake walk; each person is unique and so are their thoughts and experiences and they will want the other person to live by their experiences and rules. But of course, an emotionally mature person would believe in giving space for another person grow and evolve and swim around the family dynamics. Well, it isn't the case here.

Why don’t you drop down a pros and cons list for When I move out and for When I stay here.

Weigh it down to its granular detail. Also, try and figure out why your husband is so against talking to them.

Sometimes, it maybe a minor adjustment that everyone needs to go through, but our movies and sitcoms have done enough damage to our minds where the drama looks never ending and where one party is to blame. Usually, the adjustment has to happen from both ends.

Bring this to a place where everyone gains, and everyone is happy. Maybe moving out is an option that you seek but will this go well with your husband and remember, he might do this for you, and in the long run in might end up blaming you for it. It’s complicated.

So, take time and work on the pros and cons, why your husband is against talking to them about this and also ask yourself: Have I done everything that I can to live joyfully under one roof?
You will have a path to your solution soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1809 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I got married in Jan 2019 and it was an arranged marriage. Before marriage my husband loved me and we used to meet often and go out. But after marriage i got to know that his parents are extremely controlling and strict, they brainwashed him. A week into marriage we started fighting, and since then it's been a see-saw of love and hate. Soon we found out that he is impotent, but I helped him get over it, be it doctor's appointments or medicine, I took care of everything, it took us a year but we finally consummated our marriage. Then due to covid we moved to my in-laws’ house at his request. And then this marriage became hell to me, my in-laws started verbally abusing me every day though my husband tried to protect me but failed. I thought after the baby they would stop but it got worse so I took my 1-month-old baby and moved into my parents’ house. My husband came and begged me to not leave him, he said we'll move out to our own place. I agreed but then he called and told me that we'll go to another city after a year and I should stay with my mother till that time. BTW I am taking care of the baby all on my own financially, he won't do it unless I start living with him. I am financially independent. I don't know whether I should leave him or not, help?
Ans:

Dear S,

Time this one out! Which means, drop a deadline by having a conversation with your husband as to when your family will finally have a chance to function independently from in-laws or any other external circumstances.

Dropping deadlines means, both of you will be under the pump to put down a plan as to what needs to be done to clear out the existing muck and how beautifully you will create a loving environment for your baby to grow.

Not taking care of the baby or you, is not an option for him; but I guess it has become a convenient arrangement for him as you live with your parents and he does not need to take care of the fights and expenses as well.

This could only mean he is escaping reality and finding peace in avoiding it. Put him in the face of reality and that goes for you as well.

Being too accommodative can also become a habit where you rely on the comfort of what it brings to you; in this case the comfort at your parents' home.

For the sake of the baby, work together as a team and create a beautiful relationship; which will help the baby grow healthy, physically and emotionally.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1809 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

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Relationship
Dear mam, I am married for 14 yrs. Love marriage. I used to work earlier but quit because my husband was earning well and he said he will take care of me and my son. We used to be a happy couple but during the lockdown my mother-in-law and sister-in-law decided to move in with us. Slowly they started creating issues between my husband and me often badmouthing my behaviour or complaining about me. I was unaware about it until recently when we had a big fight. That’s when I realised that they have been planning to drive me out of the house and get him married to someone else whom they can manipulate. It’s been over a year now that my husband is not even talking to me properly. I went and stayed with my parents for some time but even they feel I am a burden and should adjust and accommodate instead of giving them reasons to fight. They don’t understand that all this is politics. Now my husband is talking to some girl whom I don’t like. That is causing more problems and fights between us. Anything I say is used against me now. Please help me mam. What to do?
Ans: Dear R, why did they start to create issues between you and your husband?

What led to this? It rarely happens that people go after people with no reason.

Did you have any reservations about them coming and staying over?

Did you express it in some form to them? (Ask these to yourself so that you know that any act on your part did not lead to this situation. Of course, nothing justifies their plotting to get their son married behind your back).

If the answer to this is NO, then it's time to confront your husband, get a mediator and put things on the table.

What does he want? What do you want?

Do you both want to continue in this marriage?

What are his responsibilities towards your son?

These need to be addressed without anymore delay. Being in a limbo state is not fun as it keeps you guessing and the uncertainty can cause a lot of stress.

Also, kindly sensitise your parents towards what you are going through, so that support you in this time of need.

Act NOW and whatever you decide, put yourself first and take care of you emotional state of mind.

Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1809 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Whenever I have a fight with my in-laws, my husband always takes their side and not talks with me for a 15 days or a week, tells me that he is bearing me all this years and I should go back to my mothers house, anyway he is hardly talking with me, he just answers my question, he is always busy with his office work, and he shoe me away if I try to romance by saying our daughter (13yr old) will see us, will do it afterwards, that comes only ones in a month. He is really unhappy with me, they all want to send me to my mother house, I deeply love him ....this all things makes me anxious, what should I do??? Ours is arranged marriage 15yrs. gone. He feels like he is trapped with me and now I am also feeling unhappy in our marriage..what should I do please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly none of them seem to be happy with you and seem to want to get you away from them.
What exactly are you holding onto? Evaluate what you are getting by staying in the marriage and what you can do to manage life without the marriage if you of course make that choice.
I would also suggest one last attempt at putting things together. Will your husband be willing to talk to a third person like a therapist or even a family member? Try to set things right and even after this, they seem to make your life miserable, you really need to create options for yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P P  |12508 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2026
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my daughter has secured admission in CSE-AI at IGDTUW .Going by the reputation of the institute she withdrew from BITSAT,JOSAA, LNMIIT and MHT-CET counselings. But now after attending the college for few days, she has been completely put off by the real bad infra and attitude of teachers there.Only viable option left now for her is COMEDK, where she can get CSE in MSRIT.We are delhi based and budget is not a issue. Please suggest further course of action.
Ans: Your daughter may consider switching to MSRIT CSE through COMEDK if her initial experience at IGDTUW has led her to reassess her choice. MSRIT offers good industry exposure and the advantage of Bengaluru’s strong technology ecosystem. However, it would be advisable to visit MSRIT and interact with current students before making the final decision.

Please also verify the current COMEDK counselling and reporting status, as deadlines and eligibility can vary by round. Before proceeding, confirm that her specific counselling status permits admission/reporting at MSRIT.

At the same time, it is important to remember that no institution is perfect; every college has its own strengths and areas for improvement. The decision should therefore consider academics, campus environment, faculty interaction, placements, peer group, location and overall student experience.

Finally, ensure that your daughter is comfortable and mentally prepared to relocate from Delhi to Bengaluru, and that you as parents are also equally comfortable with the transition. If MSRIT appears to offer a better overall fit after this evaluation, switching can be a reasonable option. If possible, it may be worthwhile to keep RVCE CSE as a preference until the final counselling round, provided your daughter has already included RVCE CSE among her choices. If the option remains available in the subsequent rounds, she can consider it based on the seat availability and her merit position. All The Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2026
Money
I am a 49 year old working as an E-Surveillance engineer at a Service provider in Chennai. I am on notice period. I am planning to start my own consulting services as free lancing in the same field. I have also got one contract worth 13 lakhs on which I will start working on from August onwards. These are just my annual consulting charges which will be paid by the customer on monthly basis after deducting 10% TDS. I need to understand how will my Tax liability be calculated for this FY. I am expecting one more contract worth 3-4 lakhs. Do I need to register for GST number? I have always done a job for 27 years. This is the first time I am doing something on my own. Hence these queries.
Ans: You have taken a good step by moving towards consulting. Having a Rs.13 Lakhs contract already is a strong starting point. Since this is your first year as a freelancer, keeping tax and compliance organised is important.

» Your Income For This FY

Your consulting receipts will generally be treated as professional income.

Your expected receipts are:

– First contract: Rs.13 Lakhs
– Possible second contract: Rs.3–4 Lakhs
– Total expected professional receipts: around Rs.16–17 Lakhs

The 10% TDS deducted by your customer is not an additional tax.

It is advance tax already collected on your behalf.

The TDS will be available as credit while filing your ITR.

» How Your Taxable Income Works

You will not normally pay income tax on the entire billing amount.

Eligible business or professional expenses can be considered while calculating taxable professional income.

For example:

– Laptop and computer expenses.
– Internet and communication costs.
– Software and subscriptions.
– Professional services.
– Office-related expenses.
– Travel related to consulting work.
– Other genuine business expenses.

Keep proper bills and payment records.

Personal expenses should not be claimed as professional expenses.

» Presumptive Tax Option

You may also check whether the presumptive taxation provisions applicable to specified professionals can be used.

This can simplify compliance for eligible professionals.

However, eligibility depends on the exact nature of your consulting activity and your receipts.

Your CA should confirm this before you choose the method.

» TDS Deduction

Your customer deducting 10% TDS does not mean your final tax rate is 10%.

It only represents tax deducted from your payment.

Your final tax liability will depend on your total taxable income for the year.

You will receive TDS credit while filing your income-tax return.

If the TDS is higher than your final liability, the excess can generally be claimed as refund.

» GST Registration

This needs careful attention.

GST registration is generally linked to aggregate turnover and the nature of services.

For service providers, the normal threshold is generally Rs.20 Lakhs in many states.

However, GST rules have several exceptions.

The place of supply and nature of your customer can also matter.

If your expected consulting turnover is around Rs.16–17 Lakhs, you may be below the normal threshold.

But do not decide only based on turnover.

Your exact consulting arrangement should be checked.

» Important GST Point

If your customer is located outside India, the GST treatment can be different.

Export of services has separate conditions.

Similarly, certain services supplied to customers in other states can require additional review.

Therefore, share the following with your CA:

– Customer location.
– Your location.
– Contract terms.
– Nature of E-Surveillance services.
– Annual contract value.
– Payment terms.
– Whether the customer is Indian or overseas.

» Advance Tax

This is another important point.

TDS may not cover your final tax liability.

If your estimated total tax payable crosses the applicable advance-tax threshold, advance tax may be required.

Do not wait until ITR filing to arrange the full tax amount.

Keep a separate bank balance for tax payments.

This will prevent cash-flow pressure later.

» Business Setup

Since you are starting freelancing after 27 years of employment, keep the setup simple initially.

Maintain:

– Separate bank account for consulting receipts.
– Proper invoices.
– Expense records.
– Customer contracts.
– TDS certificates.
– GST records if registration becomes applicable.
– Advance-tax payment records.

This will make future tax filing much easier.

» Transition From Salary To Consulting

Your first year needs extra care.

You may have salary income for part of the year.

You will then have professional income from consulting.

Both incomes will form part of your overall taxable income.

Also consider your final salary, notice-period payments, leave encashment and other employment-related receipts.

These should be included correctly.

» Retirement And Insurance

At age 49, your retirement planning should continue even after leaving employment.

EPF contributions may reduce or stop after leaving the job.

Therefore, create a separate retirement investment plan from your consulting income.

Also review your health insurance.

Do not depend only on your employer's medical cover after leaving the company.

Maintain adequate personal health insurance.

» Final Insights

Your Rs.13 Lakhs contract gives you a good base for starting consulting.

The possible Rs.3–4 Lakhs additional contract can strengthen your cash flow.

For GST, your expected Rs.16–17 Lakhs turnover appears below the normal service threshold.

Still, GST applicability depends on your customer and service details.

For income tax, the 10% TDS is only a tax credit.

Your final liability depends on your total taxable income and eligible expenses.

Since this is your first year as a consultant, I strongly suggest having a CA set up your invoicing, GST position and advance-tax schedule correctly.

Once the structure is set, managing your consulting income should become quite straightforward.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2026
Money
I have invested in the following MFs 1) ICICI prudential BHARAT 22 FOF direct growth ₹210000 2) quant multi asset allocation find ₹318000 3) ICICI prudential multi asset fund ₹210000 4) kotak multi cap fund direct growth ₹150000 5) nippon india large cap fund direct growth ₹150000 6) nippon india multi cap fund direct growth ₹130000 7) HDFC balanced advantage fund direct growth ₹130000 8) ICICI prudential large cap fund direct growth ₹ 120000 9) HDFC flexi cap direct plan growth ₹ 90000 10) parag parikh flexi cap fund direct growth ₹92000 11) motilal oswal large and midcap fund direct growth ₹ 80000 12) motilal oswal BSE enhanced value index fund direct growth ₹ 80000 13) nippon india multi asset allocation fund direct growth ₹ 70000 14) HSBC value fund direct growth ₹ 55000 15) HDFC mid cap fund direct growth ₹ 50000 16) HDFC multi cap fund direct growth ₹ 55000 17) motilal oswal midcap fund direct growth ₹ 58000 18) SBI contra plan direct growth ₹ 54000 19) HDFC focused fund direct growth ₹ 43000 20) kotak debt hybrid fund direct growth ₹ 32000 21) ICICI prudential short term fund direct plan growth ₹ 20000 22) nippon india small cap fund direct growth ₹ 16000 23) HDFC short term debt fund direct plan growth ₹15000 . Please tell me which among them I should continue paying for SIP and which of them I should stop payment for SIP. Some of these are one time investment. I am 50 years old. These investments I have made since November 2024 till June 2026.
Ans: You have made a serious effort to diversify. However, 23 funds at age 50 is more than needed. The bigger issue is overlap, not lack of funds.

» Overall Assessment

Your portfolio has many funds doing similar jobs.

You have several:

– Flexi-cap and multi-cap funds.
– Large-cap funds.
– Multi-asset funds.
– Balanced advantage funds.
– Mid-cap funds.
– Debt funds.
– Value and contra strategies.
– A small-cap fund.
– A Bharat 22 themed exposure.
– An index-based value fund.

This makes monitoring difficult.

At age 50, I would prefer a simpler portfolio.

» SIPs I Would Continue

Based on the information provided, I would retain SIPs mainly in these categories:

– One good flexi-cap fund.
– One good multi-cap fund.
– One mid-cap fund.
– One balanced advantage fund.
– One multi-asset allocation fund.
– One small-cap fund, but with limited allocation.
– One short-duration debt fund, if debt exposure is required.

You do not need multiple funds within each category.

» SIPs I Would Stop

I would stop fresh SIPs in overlapping categories.

Specifically, review and stop SIPs in:

– Additional large-cap funds beyond one.
– Additional multi-cap funds beyond one.
– Additional flexi-cap funds beyond one.
– Additional multi-asset funds beyond one.
– Focused fund.
– Contra fund.
– Value-oriented fund if your core portfolio already has sufficient value exposure.
– Bharat 22 themed exposure.
– Index-based value fund.
– Debt hybrid fund if the balanced advantage and multi-asset allocation already provide enough stability.
– Additional short-term debt fund if one debt fund is sufficient.

Stopping an SIP does not mean selling the existing investment.

That distinction is very important.

» Your Large-Cap Exposure

You currently have multiple large-cap funds.

This creates unnecessary duplication.

One well-selected large-cap strategy is sufficient.

If you already have a strong flexi-cap and multi-cap allocation, even a separate large-cap fund may not be essential.

Therefore, I would stop fresh SIPs in the extra large-cap exposures.

» Your Multi-Cap And Flexi-Cap Exposure

You have several funds across these categories.

There is significant overlap here.

For future SIPs, keep only one core flexi-cap or multi-cap strategy.

You can retain another existing holding temporarily.

But avoid adding fresh money to all of them.

» Your Multi-Asset Exposure

You have multiple multi-asset funds.

This is another clear area of duplication.

Choose one suitable multi-asset strategy for future SIPs.

Stop fresh SIPs in the others.

The existing money need not be sold immediately.

» Mid-Cap Exposure

You have more than one mid-cap-oriented fund.

Keep one strong mid-cap strategy.

Stop SIPs in the additional mid-cap holding.

Mid-cap exposure can still be useful at age 50.

But it should not become an excessive part of your portfolio.

» Small-Cap Exposure

Your small-cap investment is currently relatively small.

A limited small-cap allocation can be retained if your retirement goal is still many years away.

I would not increase it aggressively.

At age 50, portfolio stability becomes more important.

» Bharat 22 And Index-Based Exposure

Your Bharat 22 FOF is a specialised exposure.

It should not be treated as a core diversified equity holding.

The index-based value fund also follows a rules-based index approach.

I would not use either as a core SIP allocation.

For the core portfolio, I prefer actively managed funds.

An active manager can change sector and stock exposure based on valuations and business conditions.

An index strategy generally follows its predefined rules.

It has less flexibility when market conditions change.

» Direct Plans

You have invested mostly through direct plans.

Direct plans have a lower expense ratio.

But there is no distributor-level portfolio service attached.

This becomes more important when you have 23 funds.

Managing overlap, rebalancing and goal allocation can become difficult.

Regular plans through an MFD have a higher expense structure.

But you also get ongoing portfolio review and service support.

For a portfolio of this size and complexity, proper monitoring can be more valuable than simply focusing on the lower expense ratio.

» One-Time Investments

Do not automatically sell one-time investments just because you stop the SIP.

Stopping SIP and redeeming are separate decisions.

First consolidate the future SIP structure.

Then review existing holdings based on:

– Current valuation.
– Tax impact.
– Holding period.
– Portfolio overlap.
– Retirement requirement.
– Exit load, if applicable.

This can avoid unnecessary taxation and unnecessary switching.

» Suggested Portfolio Structure

At age 50, I would aim for a much simpler structure.

A possible structure could have:

– 1 flexi-cap or multi-cap fund.
– 1 mid-cap fund.
– 1 balanced advantage fund.
– 1 multi-asset fund.
– 1 limited small-cap fund.
– 1 suitable debt fund.

That is enough for most investors.

You do not need 23 schemes to achieve diversification.

» Important Point About Your Age

You have around 10–15 years before retirement, depending on your retirement plan.

Therefore, equity should still remain an important growth component.

But taking unnecessary risk is not required.

Your portfolio should gradually become more stable as retirement approaches.

Start reducing equity risk well before the actual retirement date.

» Final Insights

Your biggest improvement will come from consolidation.

Do not keep adding funds simply because each fund looks attractive individually.

A good portfolio is not a collection of good funds.

It is a collection of funds that work well together.

I would stop most duplicate SIPs now.

Retain a small number of core categories.

Then review the existing Rs. amounts separately before deciding what to redeem.

At age 50, simplicity, diversification and retirement readiness should take priority over having many funds.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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