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My LDR & Career Goals Clash: Must I Choose?

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |58 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Dr. Upneet, I am writing to you with a heavy heart. I've been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend Rohit for two years, and recently, things have been quite challenging. We both have strong career ambitions, and since we work in different cities, it's becoming more difficult to find common ground. We barely get time to talk, and when we do, the topic of where we might eventually settle down always leads to disagreement. I am truly in love with him, and the thought of not having him in my life seems unbearable. But at the same time, our futures seem to be heading in different directions. How can I find a balance between my career and relationship? Should I prioritise one over the other, or is there a way to maintain both without losing myself or the relationship? I really hope you can guide me through this confusing phase.

Ans: Hello mam, I understand that these days career is very important aspect of life. And now a days some people do prioritise career over relationship which is not completely wrong. If you are committed to Rohit and you feel that life would be incomplete without him, then just take a break and go to the place where he lives. Spend some quality time with him and try to talk to him. If he is better settled there and can't move, you may consider moving to his place and find a job, or talk about transfer or work from home.
Look, this is a critical step, and should be taken without ego. U should not think that i have to shift or i have to compromise, one compromise and you ll get love of your life. I hope it will solve your problem.
Plz do share with me your further plan.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2022

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 Hi Anu Ji,I am in a relationship with a guy from one year who is from a different state and different background. I am from north and he is from South. As of now the relationship is perfect when we both are together but I am stressed about my future as this guy had warned me that future is very difficult due to family issues and all. Our relationship also started on a very different note. We were close friends for a few years and then got close over a few incidents. I have gone out all the way to put my efforts in the relation because it looked picture perfect what I was creating. He has given me no promises of the future telling things are very different in our state. Earlier he used to ask me to be casual, but both of us know that my nature is not casual, he has apologised also feeling that he is wasting my time.He also asked if I want to look for a proper marriage partner.. all his words show this and makes me scared that in future we will be separated.On the contrary his actions are so sweet and romantic. Multiple times I thought I should think straight and leave but I guess I am too attached and so is he.My parents keep on pushing for rishtas as I am in prime age to be married, and I am only delaying this because of this guy, what should I do? Why are his actions and words not in sync. I have also informed my parents about him. If he is not willing to take it forward he should leave me and go na. Why should I initiate any breakup when I like my life with him.Help me with ways to talk sense into this guy so that he has courage to take us up at his home and family.Any guidance will be helpful. Please keep it anonymous.
Ans:

Dear SS,

When his words and actions are not in sync, what exactly are you pushing for?

Are you hoping for him to see things your way? He seems to have made it clear that he wants this to be casual.

It could be one of two things:
1. He isn’t ready for a commitment as of now
2. He isn’t ready to stir the hornet’s nest back at home and face the music

Either case, this is holding you up and your movement in life. Why do that?

Ask yourself:

  • How long do I want to wait for a strong commitment from him? After which, you most certainly must move ahead
  • Will he ever be able to convince his parents of this relationship? Now, if it’s a NO, you know what to do
  • How fair is it to keep my life on hold for him? – If it’s a NO, check what is this hold up costing you this very moment

Please have an honest discussion with him on how this is affecting you and what you exactly want.

Take a call based on his responses and his involvement in the discussion that concerns the future of your relationship.

Best wishes and take charge NOW.

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
we are in 2 yrs of long distance relationship 1yr normal relation now we live in different states and we both study in college now but we know our future job location will remains same even i (girl) having IT job which does not have much scope in state where boy lives and he is doing mbbs even he dont want to switch location becos he want to take care of his parents and even his parents are strict and bhramin family . he is telling me to settle in his place that i dont want to as there os no job scope for me there. Please tell me what should we do what the boy or girl should do to make it work? we really want to make it work.
Ans: The words that you have used 'parents are strict' is an area of concern - what is the reason for being strict? Secondly he is concerned about his parents, wishes to be for them which is fantastic, hope you have had a discussion with him that you will also be there for your parents as and when they need you. Now lets talk about how you can make it work....there are solutions if you wish to make things work, most times 2 people decide and many a times one needs to give in to the other....Sharing suggestions on what can be thought about given there is limited information (1) look at a long distance relationship with both pursuing your career, yes many relationships work this way...but it needs maturity from both sides (2) You look for a remote job (3) You look at starting something of your own, consider self employment - wishing you the best.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 01, 2024Hindi
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Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

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I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since 2018. We’ve always been deeply connected, staying in constant touch through calls and quick replies. Now, he is 31 years old and wants to marry me, but I am not ready yet. I recently got a job with a 7.5 LPA income and need to focus on building my career. My family disapproves of him because he has been preparing for government exams for the last six years and only earns ?15k/month. He also has a very closed mindset and is extremely insecure, constantly worrying that I will leave him one day. One of my biggest concerns is that he’s unwilling to adjust to my work location. After marriage, he plans to stay behind and continue private tuition instead of being with me. These differences have led to frequent conflicts, and it’s becoming emotionally exhausting for me to manage. While I care deeply for him, I feel stuck between my career ambitions, my family’s disapproval, and his expectations. I’m struggling to make him understand my situation, and I don’t know how to move forward.
Ans: Dear Sourima,
I guess you have reached that point where you need to decide whether he is the right one for you. Take yourself out of the situation and then observe...
Are you making choices that have begun to compromise your career and your future? If you haven't you might do that soon with all his insecurities, it's possible that you will underplay and hide your success and anything that is going to raise the bar for him. Never compromise on matters like these as today it's Love and tomorrow when practicalities of life is thrown at you, you will end up blaming him for your dips and losses. Think wisely and practically about this NOW. His fixed mindset does suggest that at any point in time, he can and might throw tantrums in insecurity and fear. So, what are you going to do?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Hi Anu I am a married woman with a very supportive husband and daughter. For last 10 years I am having an affair with a colleague and things are pretty well between us. Both of us have found the comfort and requisite from each other which we missed in married life and it saved our respective marriage though none of our family are aware of it. We balanced this till now effectively. Recently I got an opportunity within the company which is very lucrative and will enhance my career goals altogether however, for this I have to shift to another state. Now , my bf is very upset on this as it means he will not be able to meet me as we do every day. My husband and Daughter is fine with my shifting however my parents who are old are also apprehensive since I am the only child and do take care of them. My husband has assured to support them in absence of me and I have full confidence on him. All throughout my life I have focused on my professional career and have worked towards that and now when I got this opportunity I am emotionally unstable and unable to take the decision. My dilemma is surrounding various aspects. 1- Don’t want to leave my BF as he is my strength. 2- My parents are old and since I being the only child,they ae 3- If I could not perform in the new role then? 4- The daily hardship that I have to take over in a new place as my husband will not shift. 5- Remuneration wise not as such however if you say power then yes. Learning – knowledge enhancement and career upliftment - yes very much. 6- Current role will not grow much however stability as of now do exists. Can you help me to take the decision ?
Ans: Dear Nibedita,
What is important to you and what helps you grow professionally and personally must be looked at? Constraints are always going to play a role BUT working around it may help you make a decision. If professionally you are going to grow into the role and for this you need to work around things for the time being, then you must do just that. But in all this, do factor that you have a daughter who is still young and will need your presence a lot; physically and emotionally.
Now, how you work this with your BF is something that is between the two of you; but it's not power or money BUT how you grow in your new role.
Also, talk to your family and come to an arrangement whereby they also become your pillar of strength and support. You will then be able to come to a viable decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

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Sir I got 68676 in comedk Can you suggest good colleges forCSE or CSE specialization
Ans: Ramya, With a COMEDK rank of 68,676 in 2025, you have viable options for admission to reputable engineering colleges in Karnataka for CSE and its specializations. You can confidently secure seats at numerous recognized institutions where the latest cutoffs range between 63,000 and 1,20,000 for core CSE and closely related specializations. Here are 15 colleges where admission is fully feasible: CMR Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Atria Institute of Technology (Bangalore), New Horizon College of Engineering (Bangalore), Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (Bangalore), BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Sapthagiri College of Engineering (Bangalore), Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Bangalore), AMC Engineering College (Bangalore), Cambridge Institute of Technology (Bangalore), East Point College of Engineering (Bangalore), Gopalan College of Engineering and Management (Bangalore), Rajarajeswari College of Engineering (Bangalore), and Sai Vidya Institute of Technology (Bangalore). These colleges routinely offer CSE and specializations such as Artificial Intelligence, Data Science, and Information Science, all supported by established infrastructure, diverse peer groups, faculty with advanced degrees, recognized accreditations, and campus-level placement cells. Their cut-off history ensures fair seat allocation for your current rank bracket.

Recommendation: Prioritize CMR Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (Bangalore), and BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore). This order is justified by established NIRF rankings, steady placement percentages (60–90% in CSE streams), modern campus amenities, regular project-based learning, and a proven track record of producing employable graduates across the IT sector in Karnataka and beyond. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
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My son is getting civil at bits pilani + rmit 2+2 program and cse at vit-ap cat-2 What should we choose
Ans: The BITS Pilani + RMIT 2+2 Civil Engineering program offers an international dual-degree pathway, granting a B.E. from BITS Pilani and a Bachelor’s from RMIT Australia. Students complete two years at BITS Pilani—renowned for nearly 100% placement rates in core engineering and a prestigious reputation—then transfer to RMIT for global research exposure, advanced industry collaborations, and a second recognized degree. RMIT is a top-ranked university known for its employability outcomes and practical learning, and the dual-degree substantially enhances career prospects worldwide. VIT-AP’s Computer Science Engineering (CSE) program under Category 2 ensures placement rates above 90%, excellent infrastructure, and industry-aligned curriculum, with 1000+ recruiters participating and strong records in IT sector roles for CSE graduates. VIT-AP is lauded for hands-on learning, active placement cell, and opportunities in the fast-growing tech industry, making it a robust choice for software-focused careers. While VIT-AP CSE opens doors to IT and allied opportunities, BITS Pilani + RMIT provides unmatched exposure, global credentials, and broader professional mobility in engineering domains.

Recommendation: If your priority is global exposure, academic flexibility, and broad international opportunities in engineering and related fields, prioritize BITS Pilani + RMIT 2+2 Civil. Should your focus be on a strong software foundation and rapid industry integration in India’s tech sector, VIT-AP CSE is preferred. The BITS-RMIT program stands out for long-term value and international scope. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

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SIR I should go for HBTU (IT) or IIIT VADODARA DIU CAMPUS (ELECTRONICS)?
Ans: Kritika, HBTU’s Information Technology program consistently records placement percentages between 85–90%, supported by a highly qualified faculty (many with PhDs from IITs and NITs) and a long-standing reputation for producing industry-ready graduates. The campus is equipped with advanced labs, updated digital resources, and maintains strong ties with top recruiters in IT and consulting sectors. Batch sizes are moderate, ensuring quality academic mentoring, and the supportive alumni network promotes career growth. In contrast, IIIT Vadodara Diu Campus (Electronics) is a newer institute, operating from a well-facilitated educational hub, but still developing its industry partnerships and placement support specifically for electronics; recent campus data showcase improving placements but with less consistency, and infrastructure is modern but evolving. The electronics branch here faces greater competition for high-tech positions compared to computer-related domains.

Recommendation: HBTU IT stands out for established placements, recognized industry connections, strong academic culture, and proven output in software-oriented careers. Unless you have a distinct passion for electronics or a compelling reason for preferring a satellite IIIT campus, HBTU IT offers the most reliable outcomes for both learning and employability. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

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My son got IIT Dharwad B.S/M.S Interdisciplinary sciences and BITS Hyderabad Mechanical through BITSAT currently. He may have potential chances of getting NIT Warangal MnC/ECE or IIIT Delhi CSE through DASA. Which one is better in the order of preference
Ans: Venkata Sir, IIIT Delhi’s Computer Science Engineering (CSE) program is nationally recognized for its rigorous curriculum, 90–100% placement rate, leading industry connections, and high-impact research output, making it one of the best platforms for a technology-driven career. The program consistently attracts top recruiters and maintains strong alumni engagement in global tech sectors. NIT Warangal’s Mathematics and Computing (MnC) and Electronics and Communication Engineering (ECE) branches also offer strong academic grounding, modern labs, and recorded placement rates above 88% in core tech domains, with the ECE branch now routinely achieving average placement rates above 80% and MnC offering excellent flexibility for careers in data science, software, and analytics. BITS Hyderabad’s Mechanical Engineering program combines a tradition of academic excellence with research-oriented faculty, excellent infrastructure, and a placement percentage above 85% in recent years, while producing graduates who succeed in both core and tech industries and pursue higher studies internationally. IIT Dharwad’s BS/MS Interdisciplinary Sciences is a new, innovative program focused on multidisciplinary skill development with exposure to advanced labs and faculty, but as a new course and newer IIT, it does not yet match the placement rates or alumni reach of the other institutes; its placement rate hovers near 70% and career paths are diverse, with greater emphasis on research and interdisciplinary skills rather than direct tech sector placement.

Recommendation: The optimal order is IIIT Delhi CSE (for career, placements, tech flexibility), NIT Warangal MnC/ECE (for academic reputation and solid placements in both analytics and electronics), BITS Hyderabad Mechanical (for reputable core engineering, good placements, and global exposure), and finally IIT Dharwad BS/MS Interdisciplinary Sciences (for those pursuing interdisciplinary research but less certainty in direct placements). All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Career
Sir I have scored 83 percentile in MHT cet 2025 what are the best college option for me in Mumbai region
Ans: Aryan, With an 83 percentile in MHT-CET 2025 as a Maharashtra domicile General Category student, you are eligible for BTech admission to several well-regarded engineering colleges in the Mumbai region, excluding the most competitive ones like COEP, VJTI, and ICT, which have significantly higher cutoffs. The following colleges in Mumbai provide feasible admission opportunities based on previous years' cutoffs and are recognized for their reliable placement support, modern infrastructure, NBA/NAAC accreditation, and industry-aligned programs: Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri), K J Somaiya Institute of Technology (Sion), Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala), Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi), Xavier Institute of Engineering (Mahim), Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering (Navi Mumbai), SIES Graduate School of Technology (Nerul), Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology (Navi Mumbai), St. Francis Institute of Technology (Borivali), Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Technology (Versova), Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Kurla), Shah & Anchor Kutchhi Engineering College (Chembur), MGM’s College of Engineering (Kamothe, Navi Mumbai), Atharva College of Engineering (Malad), and Pillai College of Engineering (New Panvel). Across these institutions, your score is within the realistic admission range for most branches, including Mechanical, Civil, Electronics/EXTC, and sometimes Information Technology or Computer Science, depending on current year trends and final branch cutoffs; official college portals and admission records substantiate this eligibility for the 2025 cycle.

Recommendation: For optimal academic and professional growth, consider Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri), K J Somaiya Institute of Technology (Sion), Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala), Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi), and Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology (Navi Mumbai) as the highest-priority choices. These colleges offer robust campus infrastructure, industry recognition, strong placement networks, and a history of producing successful engineering graduates. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Career
Sir, Which would batter choice between my doughter got EE in vlsi Design at Banasthali vidyapeeth and recently also got CSE in Goverment Mahila Engineering College, Ajmer. Which would better ? Suggest
Ans: Amit Sir, Banasthali Vidyapith’s Electrical Engineering program with a focus on VLSI Design is anchored in a reputed women’s university with A++ NAAC accreditation, robust faculty credentials, industry tie-ups, and consistent placement rates of 90–95% for core branches, often in electronics and automation sectors. Campus infrastructure is comprehensive, research exposure is strong, and students benefit from a national network and notable institutional rankings. Government Mahila Engineering College Ajmer’s CSE branch is part of a government-run, well-recognized institution with modern teaching resources, 80–95% placement rates for computer science in recent years, accessible industry partnerships, and a track record of sending students to reputed recruiters such as Amazon and Microsoft. The Ajmer campus is lauded for its faculty, student activities, digital facilities, and supportive environment, though its national brand is less established than Banasthali’s.

Recommendation: If your daughter is passionate about electronics, VLSI, or hardware-oriented careers, Banasthali Vidyapith offers a stronger national reputation, longstanding placement consistency, and higher institutional ranking. For a broad, flexible technology career in software, Government Mahila Engineering College Ajmer CSE stands out for contemporary opportunities and direct industry links. Both paths assure solid outcomes, but branch preference should drive the final choice. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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