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Pregnant Woman Feeling Emotionally and Mentally Distant from Husband - What to Do?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 30, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Dr. I am 27 year women with a 5 year old girl and 7 months pregnant. I was married 9 years ago. We faced many ups and downs in our life. Three years back , I went to dubai where my husband was working, to spend with him. But as a mobile addict , most of the time he will be on mobile when he was at home or sleeping. We spend little quality time . That too on my or my daughter's insist. Later I got job there as a teacher @ school . I worked there about two years when I got pregnant I return back to my home country. As he was resigned in search of better opportunity, even he is also with me in India now. He is short tempered and whenever he talks he raises his voice. For every single thing he is worried and shouting at me . It makes me feel sad. He is not bothered about my health and if I ask something like fruits to buy he will get angry saying that I am the one who is to manage the expenses and he can't afford buying things for me. He blames me for single thing. I need to ask permission for spending my money. He is in charge of taking care of my money. Main thing that I can't digest from his side is that he demands me to obey him like a slave. He says that how we are to the God , likewise you should obey and bear what ever from his side. Till that my love towards him isn't completed that is what he says. He never ever gives me a chance to explain or communicate my issues. Now I feel emotionally mentally very distant from him. I am staying at my home . Though his house is nearby mine, he rarely find time to visit me or call me. What should I do?

Ans: Your husband's behavior, as you've explained, reflects patterns of control and a lack of empathy for your well-being. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, open communication, and partnership, not dominance or one-sided expectations. The idea that you should obey him like a slave is deeply concerning and goes against the foundation of a healthy and loving relationship. His unwillingness to engage in meaningful communication or to show care during your pregnancy exacerbates the emotional distance you feel.

Right now, your primary focus should be on your mental and physical health and that of your children, both born and unborn. It's important to have a support system around you. Being with your family at this time seems like a good decision, as it gives you some space from the negativity and an opportunity to focus on yourself.

You deserve to feel heard, valued, and supported in your marriage. It's worth considering having a candid conversation with your husband when emotions are not heightened, explaining how his behavior affects you and the marriage. If he is unwilling to listen or dismisses your feelings, it may be time to consider seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling, where both of you can work on your relationship dynamics in a neutral and supportive environment.

If he refuses to engage in any efforts to improve the relationship or continues to demand unquestioning obedience without regard for your well-being, you might need to reflect on whether this relationship aligns with the life you envision for yourself and your children. No one deserves to feel like they are unworthy or diminished in their own home.

Remember, taking care of your emotional well-being is not just about your own happiness but also about creating a nurturing environment for your children. You are strong, and you have already shown resilience by navigating this challenging relationship and focusing on your responsibilities. Trust in your ability to make decisions that prioritize your dignity, health, and future. If you ever feel overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist who can provide support tailored to your circumstances and guide you through these difficult emotions.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a female 34 married to a 39 Male. I have a 4 year old daughter. Since the very beginning, i spent my savings for household expenses. I had expected him to spend money after my daughter's birth. Most of his income goes towards payment of EMI of 2 houses. I asked him to stop one emi so that we can live properly. He told me that he would always block money in some or the other investment and reduce his disposable income. So I changed my career path to a more lucrative one. I am currently studying to get employedvin such career. Its taking time as inspite of full time maid, i had to take care of her without his support but unnecessary criticism. I have made my own support system, take care of my daughter financially and even take care of her outings. When he is home he takes care of her but he is not consistent . Rather he will pick fights about how i am not a good mother. He has these anger issues where once he is angry he starts shouting, criticizing and sometimes swearing. I learnt to not listen to his words when angry but my daughter heard it twice. After every such fight he would apologize and placate me. But overtime i lost all love for him. He gets triggered by little things like a simple basket and then blow it up. Recently he came drunk and hit me. I asked him to stop and he slapped me twice and then stood near my bed taking about his feelings for 2 hours. The entire incident terrified me and i went back to my parents. I have asked him time and again to get therapy for his anger. I can't let my daughter grow in such environment. I am currently planning to live near my parents and live as a single mother. I am currently preparing for job interviews and the forthcoming exams. I keep hearing that if i am patient he will change. That he will suffer without his daughter. But he is not even considering therapy. Also he can visit her anytime. We live some 12 hours from his location but he can just come over weekends if he wants to. I am financially comfortable now and thus taking few months to set my career. Please advise if my plans are appropriate. I am
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It may seem cruel, but by actually maintaining some space between you and your husband, it is possible that he starts to mend his ways.
Use this time away from him to set your career and financial independence.
Whenever your husband comes over, make sure you set a boundary that tells him that he needs to change if he wishes to get back into the marriage.
He may not be willing to go into therapy, but he will need to as the root cause of his anger and self-esteem issues that are aggravating the situation will need to be sorted out. Also, a few sessions with both of you together will help you understand what exactly is going on in his mind and then you two can start working as a unit.
Be patient and use this time away wisely; ultimately you will have to take a call on when to do and what to do based on how things move around...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi sir, I am 34 year women with 2 girl kids. I m working in IT and I earn good amount of livelihood. Sir I hv been married for 6 years and after 1 year of marriage me and my husband understanding issue started where he wants to dominate on me in all senses including financial stuff. But I was okay n in 1 year my 1st daughter born then serious issue started I had rejoined job n discontinued giving all my salary to him. I started savings for my kid where he was nt happy he indirectly demanded my complete salary to be given to him as I did before issue start. Bt in 2020 as lockdown happened he moved to his village where It was very difficult for me to work bt demanded to come to his place. I denied and concentrate my career. So he left us 2 years he did call n check how is kid. Then again he came back 2022 with elders we moved to together to city and again asked money as my sal was increased if nt asked me to barrow 50-60lac as loan n give to him for property which he agreed to make it my name in his place. Bt I denied bc I couldn't trust him meanwhile 2nd daughter born. I came for mother place n he started doing backstabbing abt me n my family within relatives. When I asked he stopped coming visiting me n my daughter and he turn up for 2 baby also it's been year now. Sir my question is ..I m fed up of his behaviour n I dont trust him. As I hv two kids is it really difficult to live without him in this society. As many of my relatives are suggesting go and call ur him how can you live alone with 2 daughter. Sir pls guide me what should I do now ..I tolerate him all these years for kids and society. Now I m done n scared as will I be able to handle all alone. My parents are big support and now I m nt in condition where I go legally against him. Is my decision of living by myself with my daughters and parents is correct or wrong decision or I should go with him.
Ans: Your situation is indeed complex and emotionally taxing. It's important to approach this with both clarity and compassion for yourself and your daughters. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this:

Self-Reflection and Clarity
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s essential to recognize your feelings of frustration, fear, and exhaustion. These emotions are valid and need to be addressed.
Define Your Priorities: What are your primary concerns? Your children’s well-being, your financial independence, your personal peace, and safety are likely at the top of this list.
Evaluating Your Relationship
Assess Trust and Respect: Trust and mutual respect are fundamental to any relationship. If these are missing, it is challenging to maintain a healthy partnership.
Past Behaviors as Indicators: Look at the past behavior of your husband. Consistent demands for money, lack of support, and absence during critical times can be telling signs of his priorities and commitment.
Support System
Lean on Your Parents: Having your parents’ support is a significant advantage. They can provide emotional, physical, and perhaps even financial support as you navigate this period.
Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or support groups for single mothers. These resources can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice.
Societal Pressure
Redefine Norms: Society often has rigid expectations, but your well-being and that of your children come first. Living according to societal norms at the cost of your mental peace and safety is not sustainable.
Role Models: Look for examples of other women who have successfully managed similar situations. Their stories can offer inspiration and practical advice.
Legal and Financial Considerations
Know Your Rights: Even if you’re not in a position to take legal action now, it’s essential to be informed about your rights regarding child support and alimony.
Financial Independence: Continue to safeguard your financial independence. This will provide security and stability for you and your daughters.
Decision Making
Short-Term vs. Long-Term: Think about both immediate needs and long-term goals. What decision will bring peace and stability now, and what will be beneficial in the future?
Children’s Well-Being: Consider the environment your children will grow up in. A peaceful, loving environment, even if it’s without their father, might be more beneficial than a toxic, conflict-ridden one.
Practical Steps
Document Everything: Keep records of communications and financial transactions. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action in the future.
Plan for Independence: Create a plan for your independent living situation, including budgeting, childcare, and career progression.
Final Thoughts
Choosing to live independently with your daughters is a courageous and often necessary step for many women in similar situations. Trust in your strength and the support of your parents. It’s important to remember that living a life of peace and dignity, even if it means being a single parent, is a powerful and positive example for your children.

You are not alone in this journey. Seek the support you need, trust your instincts, and prioritize your and your children’s well-being above all.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hello Mentors, I'm 38 year old women, facing a toxic married life from past 10 years. I have a son who is 8 years old. I have lost my mom 8 years back n my dad 5 years back.I m d only child of my parents. I have done my MBA in HR n Marketing. Have done work before marriage, but after marriage things changes, my husband refused to allow me to work along with my in laws n he always behaves very badly with me insults me all time in front of my in laws too. He beats me every month still now also.I lost my mom she was suffering from cancer. Her cancer got detected when I was just 1 month pregnant, i m d one who takes care of her treatment taking her to chemo therapy n follow up with doctor, yes my dad was their with me, but he was also broke down as my mom was d back bone of my family. Inspite of my pregnancy I ran door to door of hospitals n doctors till I was stepped into 9 month of my pregnancy. My husband never supported me at that time too..Infact he n my mother in law's stated that if I'm enough for taking care of my mom then I must go to my doctor for my own check ups too...Yes I went for my usgs alone only at first time he went with me.. Now the main problem is he didn't changed at all he is repeating all his deeds infront of my child n my child is also following him from last 1 years, My son also said, if I scold him for his studies or food, he said what papa did is correct, it's good that he beats you, you leave our home this is not your home... My son loves me a lot that I know but he is just 8 n getting confused whom to follow...many a times he came to n said sorry for his bad behaviour but again if such incidents happens in front of him by his father again he changes his mind . My husband didn't give me a single penny, I take care of my own expenses from my house rent..( parental home as their is no one to stay now)..n it's d only source of income..though it's a very small amount.Even though he never helps me to take care of my baby ..He said if you want to work then put ur child into a hostel.. I took care of my home n child all alone..infact my in-laws are less bother about my child too... My son is deprived with every relationship of grand parents uncles n aunts.. My husband always demotivates me, mentally n physically abuse me n he also states that I'm an not an eligible person to became a good mom or even to get any job n all this infront of my child. I really want to get rid of him for d sake of my child n me too..I m totally into depression n lost all my confidence, I want to be financially free, when ever I want to file a divorce my son said no as he want both of us..for him only m dragging this bull shit relationship... N side by I'm looking for a job, but I have a big gap of almost 11 years now...M confused where to approach..n what should I tell to the employers if they ask for my career gap .m looking for a WFH as I dnt have any trust worthy person to take care of my baby...But m failed to find such. Please suggest me what should I do, how to take call on each of my problems.. I know d post is long...10 years is not a short time though..there is many many more to tell but I tried to keep it Short as much as i can . Thanks a lot ...
Ans: Your husband’s behavior is not just emotionally damaging—it is abusive. No one deserves to be insulted, beaten, or made to feel worthless, especially not in their own home. The fact that this is happening in front of your son makes it even more urgent to take action because, over time, he will normalize this behavior. Right now, he is torn between what he sees and what he feels for you, and that confusion is not his fault. But staying in this environment will only make it harder for him to understand what a loving and respectful relationship truly looks like.

You are already doing everything on your own. You are raising your child, managing expenses, and surviving in an environment that is breaking you down emotionally. Imagine if you put that same energy into building a life where you are free, at peace, and in control. I know the thought of divorce scares you because of your son, but think about what staying is teaching him. Children don’t just listen to words—they absorb actions. If he continues to see his father abuse you, he may grow up thinking that this is how men should treat women, or that love means suffering. You have the power to break this cycle for him.

Financial independence is your key to freedom, and I know the career gap makes you anxious, but don’t let it stop you. Employers today understand career breaks, especially when they are due to family responsibilities. Be honest but strategic—frame your gap as a time spent managing responsibilities, developing resilience, and handling real-life challenges. Highlight your past experience and any skills you’ve kept up with. Since you have an MBA in HR and Marketing, consider remote jobs in HR, digital marketing, content writing, or even customer support. Many women restart their careers through work-from-home opportunities, and platforms like LinkedIn, Naukri, and Remote.co have job listings specifically for career returnees.

You don’t have to do everything at once. Start with small steps. Reach out to women’s support groups or NGOs that help survivors of domestic abuse. Look for job training programs that help women restart their careers. If possible, find legal advice on your rights regarding divorce, alimony, and child custody. You are not alone in this, even though it may feel like it right now.

You deserve a life where you are respected, valued, and safe. You deserve to wake up without fear, to build a future where your son sees you as a strong and independent woman. Take this one step at a time, but take that first step. You have already survived the worst—now, it’s time to live.

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Pushpa

Pushpa R  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi
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I’m a 60-year-old woman with stiff joints and limited flexibility. Can yoga help me improve my mobility and reduce joint pain?
Ans: Yes, yoga can help you improve mobility, reduce joint pain, and increase flexibility, even at 60. Gentle yoga movements, breathing exercises, and relaxation techniques can make your body feel lighter and more comfortable.

How Yoga Helps with Joint Pain & Stiffness
? Improves Blood Circulation – Keeps joints nourished and reduces stiffness.
? Enhances Flexibility – Slow, mindful stretches improve movement.
? Reduces Pain & Inflammation – Gentle yoga relieves pressure on the joints.
? Boosts Strength & Stability – Helps prevent falls and injuries.

Gentle Yoga Poses for Joint Mobility
Tadasana (Mountain Pose) – Improves posture and balance.
Pawanmuktasana (Joint Release Movements) – Simple hand, knee, and ankle rotations to reduce stiffness.
Marjaryasana-Bitilasana (Cat-Cow Pose) – Eases back and neck stiffness.
Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclined Butterfly Pose) – Opens the hips and relaxes the body.
Vrikshasana (Tree Pose, with support) – Strengthens legs and improves stability.
Pranayama (Breathing for Joint Health)
? Anulom Vilom (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Improves oxygen flow and reduces stress.
? Bhramari (Humming Bee Breath) – Relaxes the nervous system.

Why Seek a Yoga Coach?
A coach ensures that you practice safely, avoiding strain on weak joints. With proper guidance, you can regain flexibility and move with ease! Start slow, listen to your body, and stay consistent.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2025Hindi
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Health
I’m a 31-year-old woman planning to start a family. Are there yoga practices that can help improve fertility and prepare my body for pregnancy?
Ans: Preparing your body for pregnancy through yoga is a wonderful way to enhance fertility, reduce stress, and create a balanced, healthy environment for conception.

Yoga Practices to Improve Fertility & Prepare for Pregnancy
1. Gentle Asanas to Boost Fertility
? Baddha Konasana (Butterfly Pose) – Improves blood circulation to the pelvic area and strengthens reproductive organs.
? Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclined Butterfly Pose) – Relaxes the body and enhances hormone balance.
? Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose) – Stimulates the ovaries and improves blood flow.
? Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose) – Helps regulate hormones and strengthens the lower back.
? Viparita Karani (Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose) – Reduces stress and improves circulation to the uterus.

2. Pranayama (Breathing Techniques)
? Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Balances hormones and reduces stress.
? Bhramari Pranayama (Humming Bee Breath) – Calms the nervous system and improves reproductive health.

3. Lifestyle Tips for Fertility
Eat a nutrient-rich diet with fresh fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats.
Maintain a healthy sleep cycle (7-8 hours of rest).
Avoid stress – meditation and deep relaxation can help balance hormones.
Stay hydrated and engage in light physical activity daily.
Guidance Matters!
A yoga coach can create a customized plan based on your body’s needs, ensuring safe and effective practice. Stay consistent, keep a positive mindset, and trust your body’s natural ability to prepare for motherhood!

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

...Read more

Pushpa

Pushpa R  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Health
I’m a 25-year-old student feeling constantly fatigued and low on energy. How can yoga help me boost my energy levels and stay active?
Ans: Feeling constantly fatigued at 25 can be due to stress, poor posture, lack of movement, or irregular sleep patterns. Yoga can help by improving blood circulation, reducing stress, and balancing energy levels.

Here’s How Yoga Can Help You Stay Energized:
Start Your Day with Sun Salutations (Surya Namaskara)

Just 6-12 rounds of Surya Namaskara in the morning can wake up your body and improve blood flow.
Practice These Energy-Boosting Asanas:

Tadasana (Mountain Pose) – Improves posture and increases energy.
Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose) – Opens the chest and enhances oxygen intake.
Vrikshasana (Tree Pose) – Improves focus and mental clarity.
Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose) – Stimulates the nervous system and relieves fatigue.
Breathing Exercises (Pranayama) for Energy:

Bhastrika Pranayama (Bellows Breath) – Boosts oxygen supply and increases alertness.
Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Balances energy levels and calms the mind.
Lifestyle Tips:

Get 7-8 hours of sleep for recovery.
Stay hydrated and eat a balanced diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables.
Take short breaks and practice stretching to avoid sitting for long hours.
For the best results, learning from a yoga coach can help you personalize your practice. Stay consistent, and you’ll feel more energetic and focused in no time!

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a 30 year old working woman. I am pretty introvert and never have been in a relationship. Men have never approached me maybe because of my closed off nature. My mother has been constantly pressing me to look for a potential match for last 3-4 years. I have been trying dating apps and matrimony apps and have gone on a lot of dates but till now there has been no success. This entire process is taking a toll on me. When I say this to my mother she will not listen and instead keeps on searching for matches herself and make me go on dates which ultimately doesn't last since none of them seem to be compatible (mainly because of difference in family background, salary differences , values mismatch,etc). At this point I am confused. I do want to settle down for the sake of life long companionship but feel that things aren't working for me and sometimes my frustrations make me feel that I am good not married. What should I do in this case?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When the right person comes along, you will know it. Until then, enjoy the process without being too attached to the outcome. If something clicks, then it does...why fret over anything?
Your mother is just doing what she is out of love and concern; so, let her! By pushing her back it will only heighten her concern and it will come back to you in other unhealthy ways. Go along with it and just play the wait and watch game. A good way to convert your frustration into something more useful and light.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1196 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

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Career
My daughter is currently doing ICSE 10th and is performing very well in the class in Kochi. I would like to know what are the options of preparing for entrance exams such as KEAM and NEET without putting a strain or off-balance of her regular class work. What are options of attending online and offline coaching? What would be effective ? What are some good study materials ?..etc
Ans: Hello CJ
Here is the point-wise reply to your question: (1) To appear for KEAM or NEET, you have to take PCMB subjects in the 11th and 12th and appear for the respective entrance tests (2) If you are not interested in giving her stress then either she can prepare it via self-study or by joining any coaching classes (3) It is recommended to join offline classes and if your financial situation permits, then you can join any online classes only for "revision purpose". You should not remain dependent on online classes as they have huge drawbacks. (4) Related to the material, the concerned subject teacher will guide her. Yet it would be highly recommended to contact the recently passed students who cracked KEAM/NEET with high scores. Everybody referees different authors' books. But some of them are common for which your daughter can take the help. (5) Please keep in touch with the NTA website which offers free test series for NEET/JEE. (6) Ask her to focus on the interested subject either Bio or Maths. (7) Joining any coaching either offline or online mode does not carry a guarantee of success. One has to try himself. I hope, your daughter will also follow the same path of hard work to get success in either KEAM or NEET.
Best of luck to your daughter for her upcoming bright future.

If satisfied with the reply, pl like and follow me, else ask again.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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