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My Daughter-in-Law Refuses to Have Children: Should We Seek Separation or Legal Help?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 09, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 02, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

My Daughter-in-law does not want to bear Child Self and my wife are both Sr. Citizen. My only son is married for 08 yrs plus. My daughter-in- law is not interested to be a mother or bear a child. She is a working lady, has developed some anti feeling towards babies and preaches on population control and there are many families without children etc. My son is in Govt Service on transferable job; he wants to take her to his place of work; but she does not want to leave her job and go to him. Biologically none have got any problem to become parents. She is not taking my Son's advice also on this specially for running the family lineage and for old age care. This issue is creating lots of unpleasantness in our larger family. We also stay away in other State from our Daughter -in- law to avoid further family rift. Can we ask her for a mutual consented separation (divorce)? Or, can we, Parents seek legal help (sending some legal Notice) as she is hell- bent upon not to continue family lineage and depriving us Grand Parental bliss and to my son parental proud and happiness. Please guide.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This may sound a bit rude to you; my apologies if it does but someone needs to say it aloud...

Why exactly are you getting into the middle of all of this? They are two grown people who need to sort this out for themselves. If your daughter-in-law is not prepared to be a mother, there's obviously a reason for this and this is between the couple. Let them talk about it If your son is coming to you with his issues with his wife, should you not actually ask him to take it up on his own?
And how did the talk of separation come about? Is this question from you son or are you suggesting it by yourself?
Let them sort out their issues without any intervention from you or anyone in the family and this so-called dream of family lineage and depriving you of becoming grandparents is sounding like an agenda.
Their marriage, their way of living! And that's how it must be! Please push your son to be a husband first and then a dutiful son otherwise he will lose his marriage.
Once all of you back off from all your expectations, it's possible that the relationship between the two of them starts to get better
and she may feel like even thinking of an idea of starting a family. And as for unpleasantness created in your larger family; they have no say in your son's marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

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Mam, I am retired father in law and financial well off. My son got married five years back. It is arranged marriage through matrimony. My son and daughter in law are both post degree qualified and well placed and staying with us. We tried asking for some money from both of them for monthly family expenses after two years of marriage which daughter in law refused and said you want dowry in this form, she record conversations, threat us of stree mukti, of police complaint , object our daughter visiting our place, blames us etc. Very often, she fight with her husband as well. We are only in reactive mode every time and accommodate her. Nowadays, she has started demanding the money spent by her mother in marriage and frequently leave our house and stay with her mother. We are afraid that she does not fake complain and harrasss us. Does not have any respect to relation, relatives, isolated /self centric, high ego and make other irritate type of personality, thinks of herself, does not believe that there is world outside. Please advise.
Ans: Dear Subhash,
Since I only have your version of the story, I can only assume that you are going through a rough patch. But I do believe it takes two sides in any story. Why is it that your daughter-in-law wants to all of a sudden behave this way? Were things fine in the initial years of marriage?
Why the sudden demand of money from you when you say that she is well-placed? Surely something seems amiss here.
Anyway, it is worrisome when your own people behave in this way. You are also justified in feeling that she may make a false complaint. Where is your son's mind in this matter? I think he should also be worried about the way things are changing. Is he unable to or has he tried to talk to his wife? At this point, let no one else interfere and let him be the sole person to deal with her.
He knows the challenges at home and will know what to do. So kindly request your son to step in (if he hasn't already done that) and sort this out in the most amicable manner. This first step will then determine the future course of action.
Having said this, I do want the family to recall if there has been any instance that has triggered your daughter-in-law to act this way. That will give you an idea to proceed in the right direction.

Best wishes!

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

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I am 64, retired living in own house together with wife, son and daughter -in law for last five years. Both, son and daughter are professionally qualified, well placed and earn good. The daughter - in law out of last five years stayed away for half the time for one reason or the other at her mother place. She is very egoistic and arrogant and fight with everyone in family for no great reason including, son and my married daughter whenever she comes to our place to meet us. She has an objection her coming to our place. She has ones threatened us of complaining to police and women organization, Stree Mukti Sanghatana. She makes mountain out of anthill every time so we have stopped talking to her. The couple is staying with us, we bear all family expenses and don't expect even a penny from both son and Daughter in - law as ,when ones money of Rs. 15 K was asked to, she refused and made an allegation that we want dowry in this form . Son help us with some monthly expenses every month. She is staying alone away from us for more than 6 months now. My son is also tired of her behavior. We even have approached her mother, she also keep hand on deaf ears as she also does not listen to her and one brother. Please advice, what do we do in the circumstances?
Ans: Dear Subhash,
Kindly convey to your son and daughter-in-law that they live in a separate house. (This is a suggestion but you know your family better; so act accordingly). This will not only give them the space but will also keep finances separate between you and your son. Sometimes a joint family system does not work for all families and this space of separation can help resolve differences or bring the emotions to a neutral place. Either case, at least you and your wife need not go through stress everyday.
Distance helps bring people together and too much of familiarity is only making it worse. Do try this and hope things settle soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

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I am 64, retired living in own house together with wife, son and daughter -in law for last five years. Both, son and daughter are professionally qualified, well placed and earn good. The daughter - in law out of last five years stayed away for half the time for one reason or the other at her mother place. She is very egoistic and arrogant and fight with everyone in family for no great reason including, son and my married daughter whenever she comes to our place to meet us. She has an objection her coming to our place. She has ones threatened us of complaining to police and women organization, Stree Mukti Sanghatana. She makes mountain out of anthill every time so we have stopped talking to her. The couple is staying with us, we bear all family expenses and don't expect even a penny from both son and Daughter in - law as ,when ones money of Rs. 15 K was asked to, she refused and made an allegation that we want dowry in this form . Son help us with some monthly expenses every month. She is staying alone away from us for more than 6 months now. My son is also tired of her behavior. We even have approached her mother, she also keep hand on deaf ears as she also does not listen to her and one brother. Please advice, what do we do in the circumstances?
Ans: Dear Subhash,
Kindly convey to your son and daughter-in-law that they live in a separate house. (This is a suggestion but you know your family better; so act accordingly). This will not only give them the space but will also keep finances separate between you and your son. Sometimes a joint family system does not work for all families and this space of separation can help resolve differences or bring the emotions to a neutral place. Either case, at least you and your wife need not go through stress everyday.
Distance helps bring people together and too much of familiarity is only making it worse. Do try this and hope things settle soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2024

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Hello madam, I am 41 year old , married , my wife also same age have a daughter 4 year old. I lost my parent in the earlier age that i did not remember (when i was around 5 to 6 year old ) .After that i am grown up by my distance relative(which is now my in-law family).In my in law family only my mother in law and 2 daughter (One my wife and other my sister in law (un married , 35 year now ). So now i am staying in in law home only as i do not have any body apart from them. They are very loyal to me and take care very much as i told i am staying from childhood. I married around 10 year back and my wife first delivery is so complex one. Our doctor advice not to be proceed with any more pregnancy , it may harm her life. now mom-in-law, wife both telling me that get married to sister-in-law (just informally) I mean they want a baby by me and sister-in-law . because she is 35 year old now for make a family. sister-in-law she also agreed .frankly speaking i have physical relationship with my sister in law and the my wife knew that and she does not have any problem(she is not active in physical relation as her body is not supporting ). So need your advice in this case.
Ans: Dear Kumar,
What are you all a part of' a circus? So, if your wife might not be able to have a baby again, you are asked to marry your sister-in-law and have a baby with her? And oh, you have a physical relationship with her as well? What exactly is going on?

Marrying another person when your first marriage is still very much alive is not recognized by the Hindu Marriage Act. Informally marrying? What is this, some kind of a movie that you are all trying to enact? So, just because your wife is not physically active, you are trying to justify as to why you need to sleep with another woman just because your in-laws want it?

Please grow up all of you...move out of your in-laws house and make your own home and your family so that this intermingling does not disturb your marriage and especially your child. You DO NOT (if you are) need to feel obligated towards your in-laws because they raised you. This is not the way you need to repay them...Get a hold of your life!

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

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Purshotam

Purshotam Lal  |67 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2025

Money
Sir, I would take your advice on my future planning, planninby 55 years. Below details, need your help I am 50 years old, having wife with two kids, daughter 14 years (class 8) and son 8 years (class 3) standard. Saving and investment till date: PPF (own and son account) Rs. 18.40 lakh, Sukanya (in my daughter name) RS. 5 lakh, Axis ELSS, Mirae ELSS, Quant ELSS Total Rs. 11.23 Lakh (combined), NPS Rs. 5.27 lakh, Paragh Parekh and UTI Flexi Cap Fund Rs. 5.30 lakh, Bandha Small Cap Rs. 5K, Direct Investment in equity Rs. 34.00 Lakh. Saving account balance Rs. 10 Lakh, Fol Bond 20 grams, Some ornament about 100 grams. One house (staying) value about Rs. 1 CR and one flat (vacant) value about Rs. 1 Cr. Home Loan outstanding Rs. 11.40 Lakh (EMI Rs. 25K), Insurance cover against Home loan EMI Rs. 1K Monthly Expenses about Rs. 1 Lakh PM. (including education and house hold expenses). Earning INR 2.5 Lakh PM. Wated to be reture by 55, can you please advice how to allocate my investment so that my earning can be generated Rs. 2 Lkah PM.
Ans: You are already on the right course to providing for your corpus for proposed retirement at your age 55. However you also need to provide for future marriages of your daughter & son, say at their age 25 i.e. after 11 years and 17 years respectively. Current cost of marriage of say Rs 25L may go-up at assumed inflation rate of 8% to Rs 58.29L & Rs 92.50L in 11 & 17 Years. At assumed ROI of 13% Equity MF SIP shall be required of Rs 16.5K, Rs 13.5K per month which will continue even after your proposed retirement age of 55. Additionally there seems to be scope for 70K PM Equity MF SIP for next 5 Years. On vacant flat you can assume rental income of say 35K per month. It is also assumed that investment in Sukanya Samriddhi will continue till her Marriage and shall be utilised for daughter's marriage expenses.

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Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |231 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

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Dear sir/madam I have some ten lakh in NRI FD for 7% interest, if I keep 50%in mutual fund can I use the amount any of emergency as well as which mutual fund suggest for me
Ans: Dear Sir/Madam,

If you are planning to move 50% of your ?10 lakh NRI Fixed Deposit into mutual fund options, please note that you can definitely access the money during emergencies, provided you select the correct categories designed for high liquidity and low risk.

1. Can Mutual Fund Money Be Used During Emergencies?

Yes — if you invest in the right categories.

Categories suitable for emergency access:

? Liquid Funds
? Money Market Funds
? Ultra Short Duration Funds

These categories generally offer T+0 to T+1 liquidity (same day or next working day), have no lock-in period, and maintain low risk compared to equity-oriented investments.

2. Recommended Allocation (NRI – Balanced & Safe Plan)

Since you already have ?10 lakh in a fixed deposit, retaining ?5 lakh there provides stability and assured interest. The remaining ?5 lakh can be allocated to mutual fund categories that offer both liquidity and growth potential. By placing a portion in liquid or money market categories, you ensure instant access for emergencies, while the rest can be allocated to a moderate-risk hybrid category to give you long-term growth without compromising safety. This balanced approach helps you maintain emergency readiness, reduce risk, and potentially earn better returns than keeping the full amount in FD.

3. Option A: If You Want Emergency Access + Low Risk

(For the 50% amount you wish to shift)

Consider investing in categories such as:

Liquid Fund category

Money Market Fund category

Ultra Short Duration Fund category

These categories are suitable for short-term parking, emergency funds, and low-volatility needs.

4. Option B: If You Want Some Growth Along With Safety

From the ?5 lakh planned for mutual fund investment:

?3 lakh can be placed in liquid or money market categories for emergency and safety

?2 lakh may be placed in a Hybrid/Balanced Advantage category for steady growth with controlled risk

5. Tax Notes for NRIs

Debt-oriented categories: Taxed at 20% with indexation after 3 years

Equity-oriented categories: 10% LTCG above ?1 lakh

Some AMCs deduct TDS for NRIs depending on NRE/NRO mode and investment type
Disclaimer / Guidance:
The above analysis is generic in nature and based on limited data shared. For accurate projections — including inflation, tax implications, pension structure, and education cost escalation — it is strongly advised to consult a qualified QPFP/CFP or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD). They can help prepare a comprehensive retirement and goal-based cash flow plan tailored to your unique situation.
Financial planning is not only about returns; it’s about ensuring peace of mind and aligning your money with life goals. A professional planner can help you design a safe, efficient, and realistic roadmap toward your ideal retirement.

Best regards,
Naveenn Kummar, BE, MBA, QPFP
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10837 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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