I and boyfriend is kept on trying to get married by there’s three things we felt we couldn’t help. 1. Convincing his parents 2. Convincing my parents 3. A marriage to happen from different religion. Struggling to come across this we thought we’ll stay just the same without getting married. But the reality is like I need a mental support being a single child without father and a sick mum to be taken care I can’t randomly just leave my mother and come. He understood that and he said we’ll wait but I don’t know how long I have to cos I’m already feeling done with all the family and relative issues that came in because of these things. Now we have solved his side problem that his parents are now happy to have me as their DIL but then we are stuck with whom I have to convince is it my sick mother who doesn’t understand things and not ready to come with me also or my mother’s mother, grandmother who never understands the reality of today’s life and my mother’s elder brother who has never cared about my life earlier but claimed to have been responsible all these days. It was me who took all the effort to make it to a position where I’m independent financially but then because he said he’d fund my marriage it’s been told that I was wrong in terms of my decision in choosing my boyfriend. Though he knows he’s a nice person, he refuses considering the religion issue. I don’t know how to get this problem sorted cos it’s already 5 years that we’ve been struggling and still couldn’t find a solution

Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
People play games all the time and your family members are no different. But what's the point trying to assume that this or that must be the reason. So, ask! Surely, there's some good reason why they are so against it...ASK and CLARIFY rather than ASSUME...
They may go all over the place and the truth will be disguised in some form which will seem very trivial and silly to the outside world.
Yes, you can move out and stay by yourself but proving a point like this may alienate your family even further. They may blame your boyfriend for this drastic step that you take. Reason out with them and you will find a lot of emotions coming your way; don't resist any of them but accept them for what it is for the moment. Soon, with all their rants, you will find a solid reason that will be possibly age gap or fear of losing you or their beliefs around love marriages or fear of losing face to the society and so on...
This is what you will need to address...problems come out as emotions, but digging deep, you will figure it out...so put in some work, ask them some time and also ask your boyfriend to step in and do his bit...after all, they will be accepting him as well, right?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Let’s be honest. Your boyfriend made a serious mistake when he sent that message to your mother in anger — especially with a personal video clip. Even if he apologized later, that moment damaged more than just your parents’ trust — it showed that under pressure, he could act impulsively and without protecting your dignity. Now, when you need him to be strong, honest, and step forward like a man truly ready to marry you, he's stepping back and asking you to convince your family alone. That isn’t love backed by action — that’s love hoping to escape responsibility.

On the other side, your parents are not being unreasonable. They’re asking for basic accountability — that he take responsibility, that they get to know who he is and what kind of family he comes from. They're not making you choose a religion or forcing you into someone else's marriage — they're asking for respect and clarity, which is valid, especially after what happened. They're also trying to protect you because they saw him react in an unstable way once already.

Now you’re left holding all the emotional weight, trying to build a bridge between two sides that aren’t willing to meet halfway.

Here’s the truth: you cannot hold a relationship alone. If he wants you, truly wants to marry you, he should show the maturity and courage to meet your parents, take ownership of his mistake, and explain his family's intentions. If he's too afraid or unwilling to do even that, then you have your answer.

You don't need to make a decision right now. But do ask yourself: Is this the kind of support and courage you want in a life partner? Not just someone who says they love you, but someone who will stand for you when things get hard. So far, it seems like you’ve done all the standing.