My boyfriend did not defend me when his friends made fun of my looks. We were at an engagement and his friends kept teasing me for being too traditional. They called me behenji type. I was wearing a sleeveless top with a dupatta. He laughed along instead of stopping them. He thinks my style is too old. Is this a red flag?

Dear LG, My boyfriend is very handsome and nice but he is of a jealous kind. He says it is okay if I talk to other boys but every time I talk to someone we fight. He wants to check my phone and he says I can check his phone too. He does not like my choice of clothes or my wearing dresses. He dresses how I want and always asks if I like what he is wearing. If I don’t, next time he changes. Is this good to go ahead or not good? I am not sure but I like him and my family likes him too. SK

Hi Mam, I would like to stay anonymous. Im 27F, recently got engaged and my wedding is in 5 months from now. This match is arranged by my parents within our community. Initially things went well, but after the engagement when we went outside for dinner he was speaking well but before leaving he said this is a suggestion from my end and told that there is slight space between my two teeth in the front and while smiling it creates black image in the photos. So it would be best if i would use invisible aligners so that before wedding it would be fixed adding to this he said he will take care of the expenses and he said he had this thought for a week so its better to disclose it with me. He also said that he didn't tell this to his parents he wanted to check my thoughts on this first, also he said he wanted myself to look very very pretty on the wedding and his relatives should say "Wow, we have never seen such a pretty bride", also he commented about my hair being short actually its medium length but i like to keep my hair short. I really got frustrated when he said all those things this got me very irritated. I didn't speak much, i said i wanted to leave and he dropped me at my place. The next day i asked him if we can meet again to get clarification on this thing, when i asked him the next day about this he said "its just a suggestion if you can take it its fine or you can leave it its upto you". He never accepted that he hurted me or made a wrong statement he kept on saying he didn't mean that way i took it very personally and im creating unnecessary ruckus. at last he said i could have said things differently but he didn't ask for sorry at all. I thought he wont talk about my features again but then after a week he again asked me you were eating outside food for a week you should have gained weight(trying to be funny here), i said no. Because him and his mother already asked about my weight like "why are you so thin? you could have put up some weight know"? I have been in this weight for many years, how much ever i eat my weight remains the same its because of the genetics. But people dont understand this and easily ask some body shaming questions. After this event he is not talking like before and even i dont push him, one of my friend asked me to take initiative and make calls to stop this awkward situation and i took lead called him four times in a week he spoke but he didn't bothered to call me again he was only texting after that too im okay with that but still i feel he might ask me to make changes in my feature, weight etc before the wedding. Im not sure how to deal with this.

My Boyfriend is not really the Controlling type. But, sometimes, he disapproves of some things which I do. In such cases, he communicates his Disapproval indirectly saying "I don't like you Dressing up like this Boldly. But still, if that's what you want, you may go ahead & Dress up as you'd like to, I have no Right to prevent you from doing so, but I will be Disappointed if you do." or "I don't want you to go out or hang out with these particular people (some of my close Male Friends). You have all the Freedom to interact with whoever you want to, but I will be Hurt, if you are too Close to your other Male Friends." Most of the time, I compromised & avoided Dressing up too Boldly, avoided Partying/Travelling with some of my Close Male Friends & avoided some other things which he wouldn't approve of, just for the sake of maintaining our Relationship. But recently, I tried to Test, how he'd react, if I deliberately do something which he doesn't like. So, on New Year's Day, I dressed up in revealing Clothes that he would never approve of & Partied wildly, all Night & even got Drunk with some of my Close Male Friends, with whom, he wants me to maintain Distance. He stubbornly refused to come for Partying with me, because I Dressed up too Boldly & refused to change them, even after he expected me to do so. He didn't even want me Drinking/Partying with some of my Close Male Friends. But I Respected the Boundaries of our Relationship & throughout the Night, I kept my Boyfriend informed about my Whereabouts, so that he's Reassured that I am not Cheating on him. But ever since then, he's been Treating me rather Coldly. He's being Indifferent to me, without Questioning me much, the way he always used to. He's just maintaining normal Communication without being Flirtatious, as he used to. And the Sex has also become quite Mechanical without much Romance, unlike how Passionate he used to be, earlier. I've tried talking to him, but he just keeps lying that he isn't Upset with me. Now I am Feeling really Guilty for whatever I had done on New Year's Day, even though, I don't think I did anything Wrong. Was it really Wrong on my Part, to do something which I always liked to, but my Boyfriend didn't want me to? Or is my Boyfriend Wrong, here? What do I do now? Please advise me.

Dr Kaur, I have been married for 3 years. Ours was a love marriage. We dated for 5 years during college. My boyfriend, who is now my husband used to be a harmless flirt. He had many girlfriends before me. When he proposed to me, he promised that I was the only soulmate in his life. Now, when we go out, I have noticed that he ogles at other women. I agree that he is charming and girls find him attractive. Sometimes he casually flirts with my friends as well. No one has a problem or complaint. But I am feeling threatened. When I mentioned, he said I am jealous and there is no harm in staring at other women or flirting harmlessly. He said marriage should not feel like a jail sentence. I don't know how to handle this.

My boyfriend compares me to his ex who was more 'open-minded.' I'm 26, he is 31 and works in an advertising agency. We met through a common friend and got attracted. He constantly talks about how his ex was more 'open-minded' when it came to intimacy, drinking, and dressing. Every time I tell him why I can't dress up in revealing tops or talk in a certain way, he makes me feel backward and boring. He says he loves me but always jokes about how he wishes I could be more like her, especially in how 'free' she was. Maybe I am overreacting but I also feel like maybe I'm never good enough. My friend thinks it could be a form of emotional manipulation. Honestly, it's too early to comment but I want to know how to find out if he is right for me.