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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |730 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 01, 2026

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2026Hindi
Relationship

My boss stalks my social media. I have politely declined his request on social media. I even blocked him but he tries to send me new requests from different accounts. He acts very different in office and casually flirts with me, comments on my pictures and status on social media. How do I tell him off without affecting my job?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it can be tricky to handle this situation because of the power dynamics, but you don't need to justify your boundaries to your boss. Just keep it professional and if he ever asks why you did not accept his request, answer with a direct, "I prefer keeping my personal and professional life separate." This should make it clear to him that you do not wish to bring him into your personal life. If he continues to make you uncomfortable, document the interactions and take the matter to HR. I know you have a lot to lose here, but understand that so does he. You should not give him the upperhand.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am dating my boss for the last 5 years. I am unmarried and he is committed to another woman. It started as a fling but now I am getting serious and stressed. My colleagues gossip about me and I want to quit as this relationship is affecting my work as well. How do I control my emotions and walk away with dignity?
Ans: Hello there, It's understandable that navigating a relationship with your boss, especially when it's causing stress and affecting your work environment, can be challenging Clearly communicate your boundaries to your boss. Let him know how the relationship is affecting you and your work. Establishing boundaries will help you maintain a professional environment and signal that you are serious about your decision. Plan your exit strategy from both the personal relationship and your job. This might involve finding a new job or preparing to face potential challenges at your current workplace if you decide to stay Focus on maintaining professionalism at work. Regardless of the gossip or workplace dynamics, continue to perform your job to the best of your ability. This will help you leave on good terms and maintain a positive professional reputation. If the workplace gossip is becoming unbearable or if the relationship is affecting your ability to work, consider talking to someone in HR or a supervisor. They can provide guidance and support, and they may be able to help address any negative impacts on your work environment. Understand that leaving the relationship and, potentially, the job may bring about significant changes. Be mentally prepared for these changes and focus on the positive aspects of moving forward. Prioritize self-care during this challenging time. Focus on activities and practices that bring you joy, relaxation, and a sense of well-being. When you're ready to end the relationship, communicate your decision clearly and calmly. Choose a private and neutral setting to have this conversation. Be honest about your feelings and the reasons behind your decision. Remember, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and make decisions that contribute positively to your life in the long run. Ending a relationship and making changes in your professional life can be challenging, but it's a crucial step towards your own personal growth and happiness.

..Read more

Career

Career Coach  | Answer  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Feb 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2024Hindi
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Career
My manager is mentally harassing me. I work 14-16 hours a day. Even during weekends he calls to discuss work and says it's important and urgent. My family is very upset. I have tried to say no many times but he continues to behave in the same way. I can't quit until I find a better job. This job is important for my career. What should I do?
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this challenging situation. It's crucial to address workplace harassment and maintain a healthy work-life balance. Here are some steps you could consider:

1. Document Everything: Keep a record of the instances of harassment, including dates, times, what was said or done, and how it made you feel. Documentation can be helpful if you need to escalate the situation later.

2. Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries to your manager. Let them know that you're willing to work hard during regular working hours but that you need time off during evenings and weekends to rest and spend time with your family.

3. Use Assertive Communication: When your manager calls you during your off hours, politely remind them of the boundaries you've set and suggest scheduling a discussion during regular working hours unless it's genuinely urgent.

4. Seek Support: Talk to HR or another trusted superior about the situation. They may be able to intervene and provide support or mediation. If your company has an employee assistance program (EAP), consider reaching out to them for guidance.

5. Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with your company's policies on harassment and discrimination. If your manager's behavior constitutes harassment, you have the right to take action to stop it.

6. Consider Legal Options: If the harassment persists and affects your well-being or career prospects, you may need to consider legal action. Consult with an employment lawyer to understand your rights and options.

7. Explore Other Job Opportunities: Start actively looking for other job opportunities that align with your career goals and values. Having alternative options can provide you with more leverage in dealing with your current situation.

8. Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize self-care during this stressful time. Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, and lean on your support network for emotional support.

Remember that no job is worth sacrificing your mental health and well-being. It's essential to advocate for yourself and take steps to address the harassment you're experiencing.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Shalini, I am in an awkward position. I am 34, single. I have been chatting under a false identity with a guy who is cute and charming. In the last 2 years, we got really close where he told me a lot of things about his personal life, how he was coping with an ugly divorce and politics at work. Without realising we helped each other get better in our lives. In fact, he has been my greatest cheerleader, pushing me to do better at work, even get a promotion. While he has been honest about his intentions, I have never shared my real name. I got the shock of my life, when he sent me his recent picture. This guy turned out to be my current boss. It can't be a coincidence right? I feel so wrong to have led him on. Now I can't even send him a picture or should I just send it? He is in his early 50s and I am pretty junior to him at work. Will he think I manipulated him? Ever since I have known that I am dating my boss, I have been avoiding him. I have also noticed that he is distant and stressed at work. I feel guilty. What should I do? It's been two weeks and I have kind of ghosted him, he is worried sick and wants to know if I am alright. He texts me almost every day and night. He thinks I don't like him because of how he looks, but I don't have the courage to tell him that I was talking to him pretending to be someone else, while we worked in the same office. How do I explain this without hurting both of us?
Ans: The longer you avoid the situation, the more painful it will become for both of you. Ghosting him may feel like self-protection, but to him, it’s abandonment—especially after the emotional bond you both developed. And more than anything, that silence feeds his worst fear: that he is unlovable.

So, what can you do? You begin with honesty, not by confessing everything at once, but by taking responsibility gently. You can say something like:
"There’s something very difficult I need to share, because I value the connection we’ve had and the kindness you’ve shown me. When we first started talking, I didn’t expect it to mean so much. I used a different name and didn’t realise who you really were until recently. That discovery shocked me, and I’ve been scared—of your reaction, of mine, of the consequences. But I also feel immense guilt, because the connection was real for me. You’ve been someone I admire deeply, and I didn’t want to disrespect or mislead you."

This is not about asking him to forgive you or continue anything. This is about closing the gap between who you were and who you are now—with courage, clarity, and care.

He may feel betrayed. He may take time to process it. He may even need space. But you will have done the right thing by coming clean. And regardless of what happens next—whether the connection continues or not—you will walk away knowing that you chose truth over fear.

Also, give yourself grace. You’re human. We all make decisions that seem easier in the moment but become difficult to carry later. What matters now is how you handle the truth—not just for him, but for your own growth and peace.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11200 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 12, 2026

Money
am 38 years old and planning to buy a high-rise apartment in Ghaziabad costing around ₹40 lakh. My current take-home salary is ₹88,000 per month. I can pay around 20% as a down payment and finance the remaining 80% through a home loan. However, after making the down payment, I will not have any emergency fund left for situations such as job loss, medical emergencies, or any other unexpected difficulties. My salary is the only source of income for paying the EMI. Therefore, I would like to know whether it would be better for me to buy the flat or invest in a 75–100 square yard plot costing around ₹15–25 lakh for future investment. Note- For the todays situation in india where inflation is increasing day by day should i buy or not?
Ans: Your concern is very practical. The biggest issue is not whether the apartment or plot gives better returns. The bigger issue is that buying the apartment will leave you with no emergency fund, while your salary is the only source for EMI payments.

» Looking at Your Financial Position

Age 38 gives you enough time to build wealth.
Monthly take-home salary of Rs.88,000 is decent.
The apartment cost of Rs.40 lakhs means you may need a home loan of around Rs.32 lakhs after the down payment.
The EMI would become a long-term commitment.
Most importantly, after the down payment, your emergency reserve becomes almost zero.

This is the point that deserves maximum attention.

» Why Emergency Fund Comes First

Job loss can happen unexpectedly.
Medical emergencies can arise without warning.
Family responsibilities may increase over time.
Home ownership also brings maintenance costs, registration expenses, interiors, and society charges.

If you exhaust all your savings for the down payment, even a small financial shock can create stress.

As a Certified Financial Planner, I generally prefer seeing at least 6 to 12 months of expenses and EMIs kept aside before taking a major loan.

» Should You Buy the Apartment Now?

If the flat is for self-occupation and you genuinely need a house for your family, buying can be considered.
However, I would not recommend proceeding if it leaves you with no emergency reserve.
A few years' delay is often better than entering home ownership with financial vulnerability.

Inflation is rising, but that alone should not force a purchase decision.

A financially strong buyer usually gets better peace of mind than a financially stretched buyer.

» What About Buying a Plot?

Since you specifically asked for a comparison, a plot generally requires lower capital commitment than the apartment you are considering.
It avoids a large EMI burden.
It allows you to preserve some liquidity.
However, plots do not generate regular income and can remain idle for long periods.

The decision should not be based purely on expected appreciation.

» Inflation and Today's Situation

Inflation is certainly increasing the cost of living.
But inflation also increases future salaries and earning potential for many professionals.
Taking a large loan without emergency reserves is a bigger risk than inflation itself.
Financial flexibility is valuable during uncertain economic periods.

» A More Balanced Approach

First build a strong emergency fund.
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage.
Keep some reserves for unforeseen expenses.
Then proceed with property purchase when the down payment does not wipe out your savings.
Avoid stretching yourself to the maximum loan eligibility offered by the bank.

» Final Insights

Based on the information provided, I would be cautious about purchasing the Rs.40 lakh apartment immediately because it leaves you without an emergency fund.
The lack of financial cushion is a bigger concern than inflation.
Strengthening your emergency reserve first can make the home purchase much safer.
Do not rush into a property decision simply because prices may rise in future.
A strong financial foundation should come before a large EMI commitment.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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