Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |601 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 13, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Kookigirl Question by Kookigirl on May 13, 2025
Relationship

Hi mam My bf warning me after our breakup he have my vedios and photo is leaked dont blame him.. What should i do and i don't want to invove my family into this..

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry you are going through such a tough time. What your ex is doing is emotional abuse and threatening to leak someone’s private pictures without their consent is also a criminal offense. I am assuming you do not want to involve your family in this matter yet– in that case, you must learn how to protect yourself. First of all, keep evidence of the threats he is making- screenshots, call records, etc. Second, let him know that in India, this is a criminal offense and you are ready to go all out if he decides to leak anything without your consent. You can also either report to cyber crime confidentially or at the very least, tell him that you are considering doing the same. Next, make sure to sever all ties. In most cases, these are empty threats to keep people under control. If he can’t contact you, he can’t threaten you. Lastly, consider informing someone you trust. And most importantly, do not ever think you are helpless. You might fear involving family, but in your worst times, family is the biggest pillar of strength. If things go too far, consider informing your family as well.

Hope these help.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |601 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 29, 2024
Relationship
Hi mam please help me. My ex boyfriend nd i were in a long distance relationship. He lives in canada nd we used to vc but one day that vc turned out something else as you can understand he told me that he'll not take any screenshot or screen record anything but he still did that and now after breakup he's sending me those screenshots nd screen recording ???? nd telling me that he'll not share with anyone but i still don't trust him now ???? what should i do .. due to this pressure I'm simply going down day by day
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that it is a difficult situation for you. I would suggest a few ways you can protect yourself-
If you think he will not share the pictures unless provoked, do not engage with him any further. Avoid responding and try not to give him control over the situation.

Keep screenshots of his messages where he discusses the pictures. In case he starts threatening you, you can let him know that you are not afraid to approach the authorities with valid proof against him. This way, you will have control over the situation.

Let him know that in both India and Canada, distributing images without consent is illegal.

Speak to your trusted friends and family members. Remember, as scared as you might be, you can always share things with your parents. They would be more worried about your mental health and safety than be disappointed over the matter. Understand that you can always reach out to them, especially when you have your back against the wall.

After you have gathered all the evidence you need to prove that he has been harassing you with non-consented pictures, block him. Engaging with him will allow this person to manipulate you or make him believe he has the upper hand.

Lastly, don't be afraid. He might think he is doing this out of love, but he is, essentially, a bully. Do not give him the power to play with your mental peace.

Hope everything works out soon.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8932 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2025
Money
I have 2 App loans 36000 and 140000 + 2 credit card outstanding 95000 and 187000 (Both principal amount). I have bounced my all 4 EMI's since last 3 months due to job loss and my salary is peanuts. How can I survive with house chorus and paying EMI's. Please help
Ans: It is painful and stressful. But please know this — you are not alone, and you can come out of this. Let’s take this step-by-step.

You are facing:

2 App loans: Rs. 36,000 + Rs. 1,40,000

2 Credit card dues: Rs. 95,000 + Rs. 1,87,000

3 months EMIs already bounced

Low or no income due to job loss

Home responsibilities ongoing

This is serious, but manageable with the right action.

First, Understand What Will Not Work
Please avoid:

Taking new loans to pay old loans

Using other credit cards to pay EMIs

Borrowing from illegal or unknown lenders

Ignoring lenders and collection calls

Hoping the problem will disappear on its own

These will make your problem worse.

Step 1: Protect Yourself from Legal Pressure
You have already defaulted. That may lead to:

Legal notices from credit card companies

Harassment from collection agents

Credit score falling below 600

So you need to act fast.

Call each of the lenders yourself. Do not wait for them to call you.

Tell them honestly:

You lost your job

You are facing cash crisis

You want to settle and not escape

Ask for temporary EMI pause (moratorium) or restructuring

Lenders prefer talking to honest borrowers.

You may get:

Waiver of late fees

Reduction in interest

EMI holiday for few months

Option to convert dues into longer EMIs

Write an email also to them. Keep written proof.

This shows you are serious.

Step 2: Focus on Survival, Not Full Repayment Now
You must survive this phase first. Do only the must-do expenses:

Food and kitchen

Electricity and gas

Child or parents’ basic needs

Rent or basic housing

Cut all others:

OTT, Swiggy, Zomato, shopping

Eating out, subscriptions

Cab rides, mobile upgrades

Any premium items

Every saved rupee will count now.

Make a list of all expenses, and cut it to bare minimum.

Your mental peace comes before EMI.

Step 3: List Your Dues in Priority Order
Here is a breakdown:

App Loan 1 – Rs. 36,000

App Loan 2 – Rs. 1,40,000

Credit Card 1 – Rs. 95,000

Credit Card 2 – Rs. 1,87,000

App loans and credit cards have very high interest. Usually 24–40% per year.

But credit cards will affect your CIBIL score more if unpaid.

So give this order of priority:

Try to settle credit card 1 (Rs. 95,000) first

Then negotiate with credit card 2 (Rs. 1.87L)

After that, settle App Loan 1

Then App Loan 2

Why this order?

Credit card interest is high

Card dues snowball fast

App loans may negotiate faster than banks

Step 4: Ask for One-Time Settlement (OTS)
Once you show that you have zero income, some banks may agree to:

Close your loan at reduced principal

Stop interest from increasing further

Give you 3–6 months to pay off in parts

Ask for a written One-Time Settlement (OTS) letter.

Do not pay without it.

Once you settle, your CIBIL score will take time to recover. But that’s okay. Life first. Score later.

Step 5: Find Any Cash You Can
Please think deeply about the following:

Can you sell a scooter, old phone, gadgets?

Can any relative or friend help temporarily?

Do you have gold you can pledge (not sell)?

Any unused subscriptions or refund available?

Can you do part-time work for Rs. 300–500/day?

Every Rs. 500 helps your mental health now.

Avoid taking loans again. Instead, look for non-loan help.

Step 6: Get a Job, Any Job for Now
Even if it is not in your field, take any income work:

Delivery partner

Data entry

Freelance teaching

Typing work

Shop help

Online task jobs

Voice process

Focus is not on salary. Focus is to:

Keep cash flow coming

Feel responsible again

Stop going deeper into debt

Update resume. Ask friends. Join job groups. Apply daily.

Even Rs. 15,000/month will bring confidence.

You are not alone. Many professionals have started over.

Step 7: Emotionally Stay Strong
You may feel:

Guilt

Shame

Panic

Anger

Frustration

It is normal.

Please:

Talk to family or trusted friend

Keep one hour daily for walks, exercise or prayer

Sleep properly

Eat simple food, but on time

Avoid alcohol or substance use

This phase will pass.

Stay focused.

Final Insights
You are not a failure. This is a temporary financial emergency.

With calm steps, you can rebuild. Slowly, but surely.

Do this immediately:

Contact all lenders and ask for restructuring

Stop all luxury or non-essential expenses

Prioritise credit cards

Consider OTS if needed

Start small income work

Protect your mental strength

Once your income starts again:

Restart savings, even small

Use Certified Financial Planner later to rebuild

Learn how to stay debt-free in future

Take one step at a time.

You will come out stronger.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6466 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Career
Sir igot 444 and AIQ is 131279 iam obc ncl (kerala) there is any possibilities for BDS in government college.
Ans: Nibla, A NEET score of 444 falls below the typical marks cutoff for OBC-NCL candidates seeking BDS in government dental colleges, where qualifying marks range between 520–540 for OBC students. Similarly, All India BDS closing ranks under the 15 percent AIQ for OBC rarely exceed 35,000, whereas your AIQ rank is 131,279, placing you far outside the viable admission range. Nationwide only about 3,000 government BDS seats exist, and premier institutions such as SCB Dental College (Cuttack), Government Dental College (Bangalore), and Tamil Nadu Government Dental College (Chennai) closed with AIQ ranks under 30,000 for OBC. Under Kerala’s 85 percent state quota, Government Dental College, Thiruvananthapuram admitted OBC candidates with ranks up to 51,595 in earlier years, while Kottayam and Kannur closed within similar state-rank brackets, implying state ranks must be substantially lower than your AIQ conversion would yield. Consequently, securing a BDS seat in a government college appears highly unlikely. Consider prioritising private or deemed dental colleges with lower cutoffs and participating in both AIQ and state counselling to maximise admission options. Recommendation: Focus on private or deemed dental institutions, as government quota thresholds exceed reachable marks and ranks. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x