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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1153 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu, I am a 49 year old male, married for 16 years with 2 kids, my son is in 10th standard and daughter in 7th std, I have problem with my wife who cheated me financially, she is a housewife but somehow through her parents/cousins made me take loan and give it to her indirectly to an extent of almost 25-30 lakhs, when i found out initially about this i fought with her, but she cooked up some story and convinced me that she did it because she had to and not to cheat me, we had a compromise because of kids, she did it again and she kept doing it again, i have totally lost my trust in her and no intension of living with her but just thinking about kids i have to go with it, feels very bad when a person staying with you under the same roof cheats and breaks your trust, how should i handle it now? should i just stay as usual and pretend that thinks are normal for the sake of kids or should i call off my marriage?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife needs to take responsibility for the fact of breaking trust within the marriage. If she continues what she is doing, it is only going to cause a further break in the marriage.
So, perhaps you need to tell her exactly how cheated you feel and that you are unhappy and disappointed in what she has been doing and continues to do so...
It seems like some sort of a compulsion to hide facts about money. Do let her know that you are unhappy to the point of moving out of the marriage; perhaps then she might know that you are serious about the way that you feel. If this still doesn't change things, you know what your limits are and how much you can take.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1153 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

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Relationship
Mam , I am married since 2000. I have a male child.My wife is a working lady doing Govt. service . Since 2017 I found her behavior towards me & my child has completely changed . She always used to tell lie .She has affair with one of her colleague . She is being completely supported by her family specifically her mother.Without my knowledge she borrowed around 10 lakhs from neighbors of my rented premise at high rate of interest. When the matter come to my knowledge I cleared 7 Lakhs taking loan from Bank . After that she took more loan & left me. Since then , I never inquired about her, never lodge FIR or apply for divorce.I tried to forget her. I have no affair or any mood for remarriage . Rather ,I took care of my child & after rigorous follow up & support , my son cleared NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.My son is aware of everything.He also has no interest towards her mother. In the mean time she has cleared my bank loan & trying to come to me.For this she is pressurizing me.She has no changes.Please suggest what to do.I have no interest towards her.
Ans: Dear Chandra,
It is unfortunate that you have had to go through this. I am sure that you son also has been affected by all of this.
If I understand this correctly, is your wife attempting a reconciliation and wants to have her family back?
If you and your son have a clear decision on not wanting this, I suggest that the three of you meet and hear what she has to say.
Maybe she feels sorry for all that has happened. Hearing her will offer her some respite and also you can convey your decision on not getting back clearly in a respectful way.
Also, your son may or may not want to have a connection with his mother...but give that a chance as well and let them decide that...

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi. I am married and its our 17th year into marriage. Myself 40 yrs and my wife 37 yrs, we have 2 kids. I am working abroad and my wife is working near our home in india itself. Recently my son found that my wife is seeing her senior co worker who is also married and having 2 kids. They were sending romantic messages. My son got shocked and immediately informed me and was very furious. I too got shocked and inquired my wife. She apologized and said that she got attracted and carried away. Also it was just chatting and nothing happened between them. they were chatting for nearly 7 months. In between that man had visited my home too. I love my wife a lot and couldnt believe she betrayed me. As i am working abroad i couldnt judge how long and serious this affair was. I couldnt travel immediately also. She pleaded and still going to the same job citing her career and for kids life. I couldnt sleep and terribly confused as how to handle this and proceed further. I couldnt share to my family also.
Ans: Oh my dear Anonymous, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult situation. Infidelity can be a painful experience, and it's understandable that you're feeling confused and hurt. Dealing with such matters requires careful consideration and communication.It's normal to feel a range of emotions such as anger, sadness, confusion, and betrayal. Allow yourself the space to come to terms with what has happened before making any major decision. Discuss your feelings, concerns, and expectations moving forward with your wife clear;y being open and honest is what i feel is most important. Discuss and establish clear boundaries regarding communication with the other person. Also you have children, consider how this situation may affect them. It's essential to provide a stable and supportive environment for them. Depending on the circumstances, you may want to involve them in the conversation or shield them from the details, depending on their age. Remember, the decision on how to proceed ultimately rests with you. Seeking the assistance of a professional counselor or therapist can be valuable in navigating the complexities of infidelity and rebuilding trust. It's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and make decisions that align with your values and goals for the future.

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |4 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Guru - Answered on Sep 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 06, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 16 and I want to invest in mutual funds. I get pocket money of Rs 3000 per month. After cutting costs, I save about Rs 1200-1500 per month. Can I invest this in SIPs? My goal is to buy a Yamaha bike In December 2025 for my 18th birthday which costs Rs 1.5 lakh. I have already saved Rs 40,000. Where can I invest so that I can double my savings by next year? Please advice
Ans: Dear
It’s awesome that you’re thinking about investing at such a young age! Your goal of buying a Yamaha bike for your 18th birthday is achievable with the right investment strategy. Let’s break it down:
1. SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) for Your Monthly Savings you can absolutely invest your savings in SIPs. With Rs 1200-1500 available per month, SIPs are a great way to start investing in mutual funds. They allow you to invest small amounts regularly, and over time, you can benefit from compounding and rupee-cost averaging, which means your money can grow steadily. However, since your goal is just over a year away (December 2025), you’ll need to invest in something that balances growth with moderate risk, because mutual funds, especially equity ones, can be volatile in the short term.
2. How Much You Need to Save - Your target is Rs 1.5 lakh, and you’ve already saved Rs 40,000.- So, you need Rs 1.1 lakh more by December 2025. - You have roughly 15 months left, meaning you need to save or grow your savings by about Rs 7333 per month to meet your goal.
3. Investment Options - Given your short time frame, here are a few options to consider: - Hybrid or Balanced Mutual Funds: These funds invest in both stocks (equity) and bonds (debt), providing moderate growth with relatively lower risk than pure equity funds. While they might not double your savings in a year, they can give you better returns than a bank savings account. On average, you could expect returns of 8-10% per year. - Debt Mutual Funds: These are safer compared to equity mutual funds but offer lower returns, typically 6-8% per year. Debt funds might be a good option if you want to minimize risk, though they won't give huge returns in a short time. - Recurring Deposits (RDs): If you’re looking for safety and guaranteed returns, an RD in a bank might be a safer option, though the returns will be around 5-6%. This won’t help double your money, but it’s secure.
4. Doubling Your Money in a Year- While it’s tempting to look for ways to double your money quickly, it’s important to understand that high returns usually come with high risk. Investing in high-risk options like **stock trading** or **cryptocurrencies** could lead to losses, especially over such a short period.
Unfortunately, doubling your money in just over a year is not realistic without taking on significant risk. A better approach is to aim for stable growth and possibly adjust your bike budget or timeframe if necessary.
5. Action Plan - Start a SIP in a **balanced or hybrid mutual fund** with your monthly savings of Rs 1200-1500.
- Continue saving as much as possible to reach your target.
- Be cautious of high-risk investments, as they could hurt your savings in the short term.
So the Conclusion that by investing in SIPs and sticking to a disciplined savings plan, you should be able to get close to your goal. While doubling your money may not happen within a year, steady growth will help you build towards your dream bike.
If you need more personalized advice, consider speaking to a financial advisor to find the best funds for your situation.

Best regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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