
Hi mam, I am a girl from st caste,26yr and my bf is from general caste 28yr . I am a doctor by profession and he is an civil engineer.We are in relationship since school time (10 yrs) My bf family are happy to make me their daughter in law but when I conveyed my parents about my relationship they have become so against my love. They are telling all the wrong things about with fake assumptions without even knowing him. My mom has become extreme narcissist.
I told her initially about how he has been a supportive factor in my life yet she is falsely claiming that love marriages are not good and saying things about my bf and his family that my bf doesn't love me for who I am and doing things for money despite knowing that he earns well and his both parents are working in govt job.
Whatever I am telling her she has baseless reason to claim that it's false.. That he is lying about his salary.. His parents are very simple people yet she has told one of the astrologer that his parents are after me and my money after which the astrologer is twisting fake stories because the astrologer is being paid handsomely for saying things in their favour.. I even showed another astrologer my kundli without telling things about my home situation... None of the things matches the previous one... Infact the one I showed my kundali said things that every problem has solutions and he was more ethical towards his profession.
My mother is blinded both by astrologer and my relatives that she is saying things which I never expected. Within this time period she even gave threat to me that people will kill me and also him.. She even is glorifying this act... Even after listening to all this my bf is patient. She even is denying to meet him.. but without even knowing him she is telling all the bad things about him.. while he and his paarents has always respected my family..
My mother is even forcing me to see a 20 yr older man. When I told her how can she even think of allowing such a proposal, she is asking me that relationships don't matter because there is nothing such as love society Matter.. u have to adjust.. even when I told her if she get me married in a arrange marriage if things don't go right whether she will take stand for me or not.. she replied that after that it's ur responsibility it will be ur fault if things don't go right...
I am literally shattered that my own mom doesn't want my good and she has Crossed all the boundaries... I don't know what to do now because u make understand someone who is in the state of understanding or wants ur good... She even has poisoned my fathers mind
Still m not giving up, even after this.. only thing I am happy is my bf is still ready to fight for uss
Ans: stop trying to justify your love to people who’ve already decided not to believe you. Instead, focus on protecting your peace and standing firm in your truth. You’re an educated, independent doctor, and your partner has been loyal, patient, and respectful — this is a mature, stable relationship, not a teenage impulse. You both have already proven your compatibility through the way you handle this crisis together.
The more your mother sees you begging or explaining, the more power she feels. Calmly draw boundaries — tell her you respect her opinion, but this is your life and you will take responsibility for your choices. Do not engage in heated arguments or threats; that only fuels her anger. Instead, distance yourself emotionally for a while — sometimes silence speaks louder than resistance.
You can also reach out to a neutral family elder, a counselor, or someone your parents respect to mediate a conversation. Often, hearing from an external voice helps them see what emotion blinds them to.
And most importantly, keep your focus on your mental health and future. Continue your work, stay grounded, and lean on your boyfriend’s support. It’s rare to have a partner who stays patient through such pressure — that’s your strength. You can’t fix your mother’s mindset, but you can choose how much of her chaos you let affect your peace.
If this battle continues and your safety or peace is at risk, you have every right to make independent choices — legally, emotionally, and personally. Love built on respect and mutual support is worth protecting, even if it means standing up to the people you love most.