Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |83 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
anonymous Question by anonymous on Mar 19, 2025

HI! i need an advice on how convince my parents, i am in love with a guy who is much genuine to all my feelings and loves me to the core, well he earns a quite less than me, that is the major reason for my parents disapproval also he belongs to a different caste, i had tried convincing my parents certain times telling them about how we could handle our lives happily but it ended up in them blackmailing emotionally, and verbally and physically abusing. i found this page and thought this would be apt for giving me answers

Ans: Hello mam, it is not bad to fall in love with a person who has a different caste from yours or earns a little less than yours.
Financial things can be managed at a point but he should be willing to change his own situation by working on it.
You can sit with your parents and talk to them and convince them to atleast have a meeting with the boy and share their concerns with him. I am sure you will be able to convince them and make the things in order. Take care !
Reach me :
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1802 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Ma’am. I’m having a problem with my parents about my marriage. I’ve been in a relationship for three years and I want to marry him. My parents are not agreeing as it is a society issue because it is an interstate and inter-caste marriage. I'm trying to convince my parents for that since long time but it's going nowhere and they are too stubborn to even meet him once. What can I do in this situation? How can I deal with their emotional drama as a parent-child relationship should not break because of these issues? Kindly advise me, Ma’am. AS
Ans:

Dear AS,

You need to focus on how you can marry the person you love and also have your parents support you.

Is this possible?

There is a chance only if you take them into complete confidence and appeal to their logic.

Many societies are still against inter-caste marriages and I am sure they have their reasons for it, just like your parents have strong reasons to oppose the marriage.

Have you tried to find out why they oppose it? Are they worried about how they will face your family members as this is a big thing across cultures in the world?

As their daughter, you have connections with them as well as the right to live your life your way. Bring in an elder member of the family and ask him/her to appeal on your behalf. If this doesn’t work, you might be forced to decide one way or the other.

Whatever you do, do it with conviction and maintain relationships along the way. It may be an uphill task but breathe, smile and live life.

All the best, Happy 2022!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am in a relationship from last 2 years. We are very happy together. But when my parents came to know about us they apposed it as we both belong to different castes different social backgrounds i am from a upper middle class family and he is from lower middle class family. He made his career from scratch. I Don't want to hurt my parents by going against them. They always told me how much they care for me what they have done for me and all that i will ruin there reputation by getting married to him. On the other hand i love him so much , he is a very nice person he cares for me a lot and i know i will never be happy without him. What should i do.. nowadays i Don't feel like talking to anyone and my family thinks i dont love them and i am ignoring them which is not the case i just don't feel like talking. What should i do to convince them for us...?
Ans: Navigating this situation requires sensitivity and careful communication. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Explain your feelings and how much this relationship means to you. Emphasize the qualities that make your partner a good match for you, such as his care and commitment.

Acknowledge their concerns and express gratitude for their care and the sacrifices they've made for you. Reassure them that your love for them hasn't changed and that you value their opinions. Try to understand their perspective and address their worries about social status and reputation.

You might also consider arranging a meeting between your parents and your partner. This can help them see his positive attributes and understand why you love him. Show them how he has built his career from scratch, demonstrating his determination and resilience.

It's important to remain patient and give your parents time to adjust to the idea. Meanwhile, continue to express your love and respect for them, reinforcing that your decision is based on your happiness and future well-being.

Balancing your love for your partner and respect for your parents is difficult, but with open communication and patience, you can work towards finding a middle ground that respects everyone's feelings.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I'm in a relationship with a guy for last 2 years. We both stay in another country, and we met there. He is a PhD student and I'm a MBA student. We both are about to graduate from our respective courses. We both have a 7.5 years of age gap and he is from Kerala and I'm from Delhi. We both love each other, and are ready to fight for our relationship. He spoke to his parents, and they're very happy with us, but when I spoke to my parents, they made huge issues, and started saying, we will die if you marry him. We will die, you can take your pheras around our burning body. And they came up with some negative stories about him, which is not true. We both are very career oriented people, and respect each other decisions. I'm not saying, my parents won't have an issue, they will, since its about North-South India, also different cultures and Age gap. But they're bringing up issues, that I can't even mention here (political issues). I spoke to my parents first time face to face about this, and they said all that. To which I didn't argue, because I understood, whatever I say right now, they won't listen to me. I just told them, whatever you say, is okay. Can you please guide me with how to talk to them, and convince them?
Ans: When you next speak with your parents, choose a calm and private setting. Start the conversation by expressing your love and respect for them, acknowledging their concerns, and stating your commitment to understanding their perspective. Share your genuine feelings about your partner and the relationship, emphasizing the mutual respect, love, and career aspirations you both share.

Highlight the positive attributes of your partner, focusing on his education, values, and how he complements you. Address specific concerns your parents have raised, providing clear and respectful counterpoints to any false accusations or misunderstandings. If possible, arrange for them to meet him or speak with his parents, as this might help bridge cultural and regional gaps.

It’s important to be patient and give your parents time to process the information. They might need multiple conversations to come to terms with your decision. Lastly, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a trusted family friend or relative, who can mediate and provide a balanced perspective.

Your goal is to maintain a respectful and open dialogue, showing empathy towards their concerns while standing firm in your decision. This balanced approach can help gradually shift their perspective and foster acceptance.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |730 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 24, 2025

Latest Questions
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |126 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jun 08, 2026

Career
My husband is out of job since the past 4 years after we came to India following COVID. He was working as Senior Accountant in Dubai and after his company's layoff we shifted base to India. Thought he joined two jobs for a very short time he quit and has been since only applying for job opportunities. Unfortunately he has not been receiving any calls for any interview nor has made any attempts to personally look for any job. I have ever since joined work and is the only breadwinner of the family.My husband doesn't want to contribute anything to the household expenditure except for daughters school fees.He is of the opinion that he has done his contribution earlier when he was working and as I am working need to be responsible for the family. Considering all the circumstances I am confused as none of my advice has any affect on his behaviour. Please advise
Ans: Hi!!
It is nice to know that he is contributing towards the fees of his children! Have you asked him how he is managing it?
The financial responsibility is on both the partners… it doesn’t matter who is at home and who is working. You sit across and discuss how much money comes in and how much money goes out. The how and why of savings for the future is also a joint venture!!
Now with this background decide whether it is enough if one of you works and the other manages everything at home. Segregate work, share responsibility.
Losing a job can be very hard on mental well being, then not finding a fulfilling job can worsen it.
Check whether your husband is truly unwilling to find a job or he has gotten comfortable/ lazy sitting at home.
I am sure you have been married long enough to sit across and talk lovingly with concern and care, and come up with solutions.
Please do not nag…
If nothing works, seek help of a professional!!

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |126 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jun 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2026
Career
My wife doesn't like dogs. I have two dogs who are like family to me. She screams and disrespects them saying she is scared of them. I am feeling very betrayed because I had mentioned this condition while sending our proposal to her family. It was also written in my matrimonial profile that we have two dogs who stay with us. We rejected so many proposals for this very reason but the family including my wife ignored it and now it is affecting our marriage. It has only been two months and I have to keep my dogs on a leash for the first time. They are deeply hurt and affected. I respect her too but how do I explain to her that my dogs are safe? Everyone in my family is equally concerned but my in-laws feel that dogs should be treated as pets not family. I strongly disagree. If my partner cannot accept my dogs, would it be right to file for divorce? Please help.
Ans: Hi!!
I can empathise with this whole situation at your home!
Let’s start tackling each issue that you have mentioned one by one…
1. There is surely a breach of trust here bfr marriage.. you did mention that your pets are an integral part of the family… you need to sit down and discuss this… find a common ground.This discussion is between you and your wife only.
2. Ask the in- laws to stay out of the discussion about how your family treats pets.
3. Take the pets out of the scenario and check the equation between you and your wife. How much value you attach to this relationship and each other? What lengths will both of you go to ensure that this partnership works?
If it’s a win - win situation, then sit down and chalk out a plan to make it work…
5. Both of you be part of solutions….ask her what was she expecting from you knowing that you are a pet lover and this was a precondition for marriage, yet she went ahead and got married to you…
6.There is no black and white solution here… I am also thinking aloud as I write to you…
After all the heart to heart talk… tell her that tying the dogs is not an option.. they are like children to you! Ask her to come up with solutions… tell her you want the marriage to work..you also from your end try to make her comfortable slowly get her used to the dogs, show her that they are harmless. The fear of dogs can be taken away slowly… consult a psychologist/ marriage counsellor to help you out if your efforts don’t yield results!
7. It’s been just 02 months. Both of you try to make the marriage work . You are both equally responsible for this marriage!!

All the very best!

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x