I am a 58 year old widower my wife passed away 18 months back. I have 2 sons aged 28 years and 20 years. I am constantly approached by a 43 years old lady who is a divorcee and have 18 year old son with marriage proposal. We are known to each other for several years. Before her proposal I have never thought of remarriage. She is a very good human being and very attractive and now I am unsure how to handle the proposal. Requesting you help that how should I handle this.

Ans: Dear Girish,
First of all, don't assume that she has feelings for you. Please confirm and then think of pursuing a relationship. Let's say she shares your feelings, it is important to let her know that you do not intend to get married; she might have other plans and it would be unfair for you to take them away from her. If both of your plans align, then very well. If not, I would suggest you find someone who is on the same page as you.
Please speak to her first.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Before making a decision, reflect on your intentions and the nature of your feelings. Are they grounded in a strong foundation of mutual understanding and compatibility, or are they influenced by loneliness or a desire to move on from your past? Understanding this will help you approach the situation with clarity and confidence.

If you decide that your feelings are genuine and you’d like to explore the possibility of a deeper relationship, it’s important to communicate thoughtfully. Begin by affirming your respect for her and the friendship you share. You could say something like, "I value our friendship deeply and truly enjoy the conversations we have. Over time, I’ve found myself thinking about the possibility of something more between us. I understand and respect your preferences and your journey, but I wanted to share my feelings because I value honesty and openness in our connection."

This approach ensures that your feelings are expressed without putting pressure on her, and it allows her to consider the idea without feeling cornered. If she doesn’t feel the same way, you can express your understanding and emphasize that you would like to maintain the friendship.

It’s also worth considering her concerns about cultural compatibility. If this is a significant factor for her, you could discuss how you envision addressing potential challenges if the relationship were to progress. Showing empathy for her concerns and a willingness to navigate differences together might help her feel more secure.

Remember, vulnerability is a risk, but it’s also the foundation for meaningful connections. Whether or not she feels the same, being honest about your feelings allows you to move forward with clarity and authenticity. And regardless of her response, the friendship you’ve built is rooted in mutual respect, which provides a solid foundation for either outcome.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If she is not interested, kindly drop your plan.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern, but if she wants to speak to some more people and weigh her options, there’s nothing much you can do here. I suggest you might want to do the same. You are speaking to her and building a connection and that’s great. But it’s also okay if you want to talk to some more people and see if you find someone more compatible for you. Since she has already expressed a few problems and also there’s the distance, it would be practical to look a little more instead of tying yourself down to one person, especially since she is not showing interest in committing right away.

About what her final decision for you would be, it is difficult to tell. Sometimes people speak regularly and still don’t end up together and sometimes people interact with many others, and still end up with each other. If it’s meant to be, it will. It won’t hurt if you also speak to a few more people. You deserve the best and so does she.

Hope this helps.