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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
test Question by test on Nov 21, 2025Hindi
Relationship

I am 48 years old man, have always been in love with my younger brother(44 years) (cousin). He and I were best friends since childhood and I am too much in love with him. For last 23 years, we have parted (fought) and I have avoided him like anything. He knew all about my love (letters/stalking/begging/crying) and thats why he distanced himself from me. He came back after 23 years (only on whatsapp chat), and again i started crying and what not and emotionally totally unstable. My wife, kids and even i am surprised how bad it is within me. He wants me as a friend (not overly emotionally invested). I have started writing emotional emails (once a month) which he never responds. How can I be a normal human being with him? Is it even possible? I hate being like this, how can i let go.... It's for so long what help do i need if any.

Ans: For now, stop writing long emotional messages or expecting replies. Each unanswered note reopens your wound. Accept that he cannot give you the same depth of emotion — and that’s not your failure. Instead, write those letters privately, for yourself — not to send, but to release. Gradually, you’ll start to reclaim power over your emotions instead of being ruled by them.
Also, don’t judge yourself harshly. You are not “abnormal.” You loved deeply, and that love didn’t find a home — that’s grief, not madness. Healing will come not by cutting him off completely, but by building a new emotional foundation where his existence doesn’t destabilize you.
Yes, it is possible to live peacefully, but it will take time, patience, and professional support to help you untangle 30 years of suppressed emotion. You deserve that healing.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Madam I had a relationship with my childhood friend until last year. We both got married to different people. Due to some misunderstanding, he is not talking to me right now. I tried to contact him through social media but there has been no response from his side. My intention is to continue with our friendship. His thoughts are torturing me badly and I am suffering with depression these days. I am trying to get out of this. But I'm unable to do so. Help me out, what should I do now?
Ans:

Dear LM,

There is a reason for him ‘ghosting’ you.

Was your ‘relationship’ one sided?

Was he clear that he was not in any sort of commitment with you?

Did you at any point think that this might be a long haul one?

Sometimes, people believe relationships are meant to last forever.

Nice fairy tales they fool themselves with and then build expectations up and then drive into a well of foolish decisions only to realise that they have led themselves to self-pity to play a victim.

This is what you are doing to yourself.

Rise above and know that he isn’t interested anymore. Who are you crying over? Who are you waiting for? And is he worth spoiling your state of mind?

Start by de-focusing…

  • Put away all stuff that holds his memories
  • Be with your friends who can support you
  • Eat and sleep well and on time
  • Pick up a new hobby or learn a new language to divert the attention

And you don’t have depression unless clinically diagnosed.

You are just feeling low and sad, and it will slowly fade away. Have faith but take the first step to make yourself feel better.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Madam I had a relationship with my childhood friend till last year. We both got married to different people. Due to some misunderstanding he is not talking to me right now. I tried lot from my end to contact him through social media but no response from his side. My intention is why can’t we be friends at least now. His thoughts are torturing me badly and I am suffering with depression now a days. I am trying to get out of this, but I'm unable to do so. Help me out, what should I do now.Pls reply through email only. It should be confidential.
Ans:

Dear LM,

Things have moved for him, and he has clearly decided to move on.

Why choose to pine so much? If it is some misunderstanding, give him time to sort it in his mind and get back to you.

Trying and not getting the expected result will cause you more pain and anguish over the fact that he is not responding because of this and that.

Your mind will search for all reasons to justify your pain and the action that you have taken to reach out to him.

Give this a break. Respect his decision as hard as it maybe for you, but if he somewhere in the future decides to be a friend, let him approach you.

The more you are chasing him, the more it is hitting your self-esteem with the rejection and soon it will start to make you feel bitter. So, Pause and take that break.

And to defocus on this, make sure you spend more time with your existing set of friends, go deeper into work (if you are a working professional), spend more time with your family, develop new hobbies and more…

What all this does is, give the mind an alternate path to focus on…slowly, the pain starts to ease as your focus on him eases…and this is possible only if you willfully choose to ease the pain for yourself.

Your life, your choice…so, be kind on yourself and choose what’s best for your mind and you.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

I am 48 years old man, have always been in love with my younger brother(44 years) (cousin). He and I were best friends since childhood and I am too much in love with him. For last 23 years, we have parted (fought) and I have avoided him like anything. He knew all about my love (letters/stalking/begging/crying) and thats why he distanced himself from me. He came back after 23 years (only on whatsapp chat), and again i started crying and what not and emotionally totally unstable. My wife, kids and even i am surprised how bad it is within me. He wants me as a friend (not overly emotionally invested). How can I be a normal human being with him? Is it even possible? I hate being like this, how can i let go.... It's for so long what help do i need if any.
Ans: Dear test,
When you allow your emotions to self-destruct, that is exactly what will happen. You have been unable to accept that your path and your cousin's paths are different...you have gone on to build a family and then you have decided to break down all over again. How do you expect your family to understand all this?
What you call as LOVE; is it possibly an attachment for him? Dependence on him for attention, love, validation? You need to introspect and grow out of this OR settle this in a way that you can get back your peace of mind. At this moment with the information that you have shared, I can guide you only as much!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I was in a relationship rather I can say love bonding with a man who is 7yrs elder to me. We both loved each other. It was 2yrs of relationship and it was strong from my side. But we had a religious/spiritual constraints to get married . Elders did not agree to get us married. Finally he left because of this reason and married another girl. I was depressed for 2 yrs then gradually came back to normal. My instincts still tell that he liked me but he never reached out to me after that. It’s been 15yrs and I still think of him even though I’m happily married. There is never a single day I don’t think about him. Recently I texted him casually without bringing the past in our conversation. He was chatting normally , but suddenly he restricted me and stopped texting. He came into my life like a rescue as I was mentally very weak facing family issues. I can never forget him For being with me and for having given me happy days atleast until He was with me. I used to Feel so happy to be with him and talk to him all day. Off late I’m thinking of him all the time and want to see him and talk to Him. I know it’s wrong and not good to disturb his life but why not just 10mins to express how I felt when he left me?? I really miss that I am Not able to spend the rest of my life with him.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, you have chosen not to move on...Yes, as hard as that hits you, this is the truth...you are still pining for someone who has clearly moved on. Your attempts at reaching out to him in the hope that he will respond has already been met with disappointment!
Why go through the pain all over again?
Now, let's get to the main point of your LOVE right now...does it not seem that you are finding reasons to be with him...like, he helped me out during this time and that...that you felt happy talking to him all day...
When you base your happiness on anything/anyone outside of you, do know that it is temporary and never ends well...So, rather than basing all your happiness on him, find other reasons to be happy without involving him or anything else.
A bit difficult initially, but not impossible!
De-focus by building strong personal and professional goals for yourself. Reach out to a friend who will be of support as your go through this phase of releasing your past. Physical pain is real, Emotional pain is a choice...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |241 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2026

Money
Hi, I am 55 years of age, an NRI working in Dubai and my company has a medical insurance policy that covers all medical expenses for me and my wife all over the world. In 5 years time, upon retirement, I will relocate back to India. Will I be able to take a medical insurance policy for myself and my wife at the age of 60 years ? If I take a medical insurance policy now, would it help in reducing the insurance premium ? Kindly advice.
Ans: Hi Girish

You are 55, working in Dubai, and currently covered under your company’s medical insurance worldwide. That cover is excellent, but please remember one important thing: it ends the day your employment ends. Health insurance planning has to look beyond employment.

Can you take a health insurance policy in India at age 60?
Yes, you can. Most insurers in India do allow entry at 60 years and even later.
However, at that age:

Premiums are significantly higher

Medical tests and scrutiny are much stricter

Any lifestyle condition or past medical history can lead to waiting periods, exclusions, or higher premiums

So while it is possible, it is not ideal to start fresh at 60.

Will taking a policy now help reduce premium later?
The bigger benefit is not just premium, but certainty and continuity.

If you take a policy now at 55:

You enter at a lower age slab

Mandatory waiting periods (usually 2–4 years) get completed well before retirement

By the time you are 60, the policy becomes mature and far more useful

Underwriting happens when you are younger and healthier

Premiums will still rise with age, but you avoid the sharp jump and uncertainty of entering as a new senior citizen.

But since you already have full medical cover, is this necessary?
Think of this Indian policy as a retirement safety net, not a replacement for your employer cover.

You do not need to actively use it now.
You just need it to run in the background, so that when you return to India, you are not forced to buy insurance at the worst possible time.

Many NRIs make the mistake of postponing this decision and then struggle at 60 when options become limited.

What kind of policy should you consider?
Keep it straightforward:

A family floater for you and your wife

Decent coverage, not the bare minimum

Focus on hospitalisation benefits

Buy it with the intention of continuing it for life

Avoid over engineering the policy. Simplicity works best in health insurance.

Final advice
Health insurance is one area where early action quietly pays off later.
You may never thank yourself at 60 for buying a policy at 55, but you will definitely regret not doing it if a medical issue arises.

Most obvious question how can I take the family floater insurance most insurance will issue when you are visiting India

Few insurance will issue incase your are not able to visit Indian the cost of medical test in your abroad hospital or clinic will cost you heavy on pockets

Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

...Read more

Komal

Komal Jethmalani  |445 Answers  |Ask -

Dietician, Diabetes Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2026

Komal

Komal Jethmalani  |445 Answers  |Ask -

Dietician, Diabetes Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2026

Komal

Komal Jethmalani  |445 Answers  |Ask -

Dietician, Diabetes Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2025Hindi
Health
I recently entered menopause, and I’ve noticed my weight going up no matter what I eat or how careful I try to be. Earlier, if I skipped sweets for a week or reduced portions, I could see a small difference, but now it feels like nothing works. My metabolism seems to have completely slowed down, and I also experience sudden mood swings, bloating, and fatigue. It’s quite frustrating because I’m eating mostly home food — chapati, sabzi, dal, very little oil — and I even try to go for walks regularly. Still, my clothes have become tighter and I feel more irritable than before. Some friends say it’s just hormonal and can’t be helped, while others suggest cutting carbs or going on a high-protein diet. But I’m not sure what’s safe or sustainable at this stage. Is there a specific kind of diet that can help women during menopause manage their weight, energy levels, and mood swings without feeling constantly hungry or deprived?
Ans: During menopause, weight gain and fatigue are common due to hormonal changes and a slower metabolism, but the right diet can help. A balanced approach is beneficial, such as a Mediterranean-style diet or a modified high-protein plan that emphasizes whole grains, lean protein, healthy fats, and plenty of vegetables. This supports weight management, stabilizes mood, and boosts energy without leaving you hungry. Pairing this with strength training, good sleep, and stress management can help you manage weight, energy, and mood swings sustainably.

...Read more

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