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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 19, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Relationship

I am a 45-year-old divorced entrepreneur based in Pune. Over the past few years, I have been in three short-lived relationships -- all with people who couldn't commit or were emotionally distant. I have done some introspection and even tried therapy, but I still find myself falling for the same type of women. I want to understand what's drawing me to them and how to break this cycle.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At times, people try and undo what they did in their failed relationships just to prove to themselves that they can make a new relationship work. But that sadly may not work. There's no point in jumping from one relationship into another until you heal from the relationship that didn't work...
Since you state that therapy did not work for you, kindly introspect as to what did not work in it and what could have been done to make it work. It will help in setting a clear boundary in a new relationship and also you will be clear in terms of what you want in and from a relationship.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 29, 2021

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Relationship
I am a 53-year-old male, serving in the Indian defence sector. I have always had a soft corner towards beautiful ladies. I have my family -- two grown up sons and a wife. My wife is not so beautiful enough and so I get attracted by beautiful women who speak with a smile. In the last four years, I have made friendship with three ladies. Their age group is around 25 to 30. These ladies are having so many boyfriends, but they don't accept it in front of me. I am wasting my hard-earned money for their happiness, but in return I don't get love or anything. Out of all three, one girl aged 28 calls me daddy because of her personal vested interest for online shopping. My financial crunch is getting worse. I want to get rid of this nonsense, but due to my nature I cannot avoid them. I still have friendship with them. I know they are not loyal to me. Please guide me in this regard.Name withheld on request
Ans:

There's a name for your predicament, pal -- you've become what is commonly known as a 'sugar daddy', an elderly man who lavishes young women with money and gifts and maintains their lifestyle in exchange for a relationship. And, in your case, it's without the side benefits!

There's no fool like an old fool, so I'd suggest you stop wasting your hard-earned money on pretty young things who are fonder of your money than they are of you.

Cut them off and remain faithful to your wife; these dalliances on the side are doing nothing but buying you some time with a pretty face -- at prices that you can't afford.

The word is ‘No’ -- learn how to use it!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
hello, I am 36 years old divorcee. I was in a relationship for 3 years with one person after 2 years of my divorce and he ditched me by saying that he is not ready for any commitment (as he is going through his divorce too). Now, I am completely devastated because I invested way more than I should on him. I tried different matrimonial sites for searching good mate/partner but eventually everyone I met turned out to be sex oriented. It's been year of my breakup with my ex, but I still crave for him. why? And day by day I am loosing hope to get settle down in my family bcz of finding such non-serious and one tracked minded males. what to do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yes, you have invested more than what you could have...but don't we all do that when we want something to succeed.
After your divorce, maybe you wanted the next relationship to succeed and you gave it your all. But the man was not yet ready for his own reasons. What can you do about it? You were true in your intent...leave it at that without dissecting every element and turning its shadow onto future opportunities.

Move on; it's tough but understand that if you keep pining and obsessing over someone who is not available, you are only going to feel the pain again. For now, make that a closed chapter.
And once you close that chapter, only then you will be willing to explore newer opportunities with a full heart and an open mind. Yes, I do agree that you will find many wanting physical connections and not a relationship. But not all are inclined that way.
Once you direct your energies into a new avenue, it will yield results...and yes, I do believe in what I am saying here! Not all apples are rotten though a few might be and yet you don't dismiss eating apples, do you?
Get the drift?

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 02, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi,i am a 28 year old woman being at crossroads when it comes to relationships. I am one of the unluckiest souls in this universe.An old school romantic being following the philosophy of one man woman.My love life consists of numerous one sided loves,crushes,2 three year old failed long distance relationships and terminating one potential long term romance(this was also long distance)See,I would want to be in a loving and long term relationship resulting in marriage.I guess i have always dated to marry. But unfortunately, my search for that one true love is still not coming to an end. I don’t know where am i going wrong? Am i asking for too much? Because the moment i said yes or responded to their advances ,they would become way too busy and i become an option. Before i say yes,they would always court me. I have to initiate the conversations every single time. As i result i stopped looking for love and start working on myself. I don't mind being single forever and skip marriage.I know there's something wrong in my apporach. Just tell me where am i going wrong?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There's nothing wrong with your approach but I want to share a piece of advice that might help you in your dating journey. Instead of approaching relationships with the sole intention of finding a life partner, consider dating for the sake of love and happiness. Not every person you meet will be your soulmate, and that's perfectly okay. Sometimes, we need to experience a few heartbreaks and failed relationships before finding the right one. I appreciate that you have started focusing on yourself, but that does not mean you have to stop looking for a companion. Both are not mutually exclusive. And it's sad but some men indeed lose their interest in a woman as soon as the "chase" is over. But the good news is, it is only some men, not all.

I say stop looking for a man to settle down with because that might lead to compromises to make the relationship work. Instead, find a man who makes you happy. Enjoy the process of dating and evaluate the individual based on genuine compatibility and shared happiness.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I had an arranged marriage at the age of 30 which ended within a year as she had a lover and went back to him, in the process took away my money putting a false domestic violence case to claim alimony. My dream of happy married life was shattered, I lost faith in concept of marriage and remained single just focusing on my work. I never had any relationship with any female all through these years due to the phobia that women bring trouble to my life :) Now I'm 45 and feel the need to have a trustworthy life companion. The problem I'm facing is the trust issues and female phobia. Also since my so called married life was very short, I'm not mentally ready to consider marriage proposals of divorced women who got divorced after 4-5 years of their bad marriage since they have the past luggage. Its difficult to find unmarried singles also. Can you guide me on how can I overcome this situation and find a trustworthy, reliable companion for rest of my life?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no need to jump into a marriage right away, right?
Start by expanding your social circle that includes a good mix of people from different backgrounds and work spheres. You might just end up finding someone who matches your thinking, ideals and lifestyle.
Cross this before you start bride-searching. You need to get your faith back into wanting a life partner and in the institution called marriage. So, baby steps...Trust builds over time so, give time for yourself to heal while you explore the idea of socializing. It acts as a good bridge not knowing someone and knowing someone. The concept of 'Dating' will ideally fall here and you might find someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life with.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11022 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2026Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, Good Morning. Is it advisable to buy gold jewellery for my Son's marriage in the next 8 years at current market price of approx Rs.14000 per gram. The plan is to buy around 100 grams to be given to the prospective bride at the time of marriage, which is as per our practice. If I deposit money to a gold jeweller, who will credit equivalent gold weight as per today's value and after 11 months we can buy jewellery without wastage, making charges and gst. Kindly advice. Thanks
Ans: Your planning for your son’s marriage well in advance is thoughtful and practical. It shows responsibility and care for family traditions. Planning 8 years ahead gives you good flexibility and control.

» Purpose clarity and time horizon
– The objective is very clear: buying around 100 grams of gold jewellery for marriage after 8 years
– This is not a short-term need, so timing and structure matter more than current gold price
– Gold here is a requirement asset, not just an investment, so risk control is important

» Buying gold at current price – assessment
– Buying all 100 grams today at around Rs.14000 per gram locks your price, but also locks your capital
– Gold prices move in cycles; they do not rise in a straight line
– Over 8 years, gold can give protection against inflation, but short- to medium-term corrections are common
– Putting a large amount at one price level reduces flexibility and increases timing risk

» Jeweller gold deposit / gold savings plan – evaluation
– Monthly deposit plans with jewellers are mainly designed for jewellery purchase, not pure wealth creation
– Benefits you rightly noticed:

No wastage charges

No making charges

No GST on jewellery value
– Key risks and limitations to be aware of:

You are fully dependent on the jeweller’s business stability for 11 months

Your money is not regulated like financial products

You cannot easily exit or switch if your plan changes
– These plans work well for near-term purchases, but for an 8-year goal, repeating such plans many times increases counterparty risk

» Price risk vs goal certainty
– Your real risk is not price volatility alone, but availability of gold at the time of marriage
– The goal needs certainty of value and timely availability
– A staggered and disciplined approach reduces regret from buying at market highs

» Smarter way to structure the 8-year plan
– Avoid buying the full 100 grams immediately
– Spread accumulation over time to reduce price risk
– Use a mix of:

Financial gold-linked options for long-term accumulation

Physical jewellery purchase only closer to the marriage date
– This keeps liquidity, improves transparency, and avoids storage and purity worries

» Jewellery purchase timing insight
– Jewellery designs, preferences of the bride, and family choices can change over 8 years
– Buying finished jewellery too early limits flexibility
– It is usually better to convert accumulated value into jewellery in the last 12–18 months

» Risk management and safety points
– Avoid keeping large sums with a single jeweller repeatedly over many years
– Avoid emotional decisions driven by headlines about gold prices
– Keep documentation, purity standards, and exit options clear

» Tax and cost perspective
– When gold is used as jewellery for marriage, taxation is not the primary concern
– Hidden costs like storage, insurance, and loss risk matter more than headline price

» Finally
– Your intention is correct, and starting early gives you strength
– Buying some gold gradually is sensible, but avoid locking the entire requirement at one price today
– Jeweller deposit schemes can be used selectively, closer to purchase time, not as a long-term parking option
– A phased, balanced approach gives cost control, safety, and peace of mind for a very important family milestone

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11022 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 06, 2026

Money
My father has just got retired. He has an outstanding home loan of Rs. 18 lakh which has 51000/- as emi. His pension is also 51000/-. His monthly expense are 20,000/-. He received gratuity of Rs. 18 lakh. What he should do either set off his home loan so that his pension is saved from emi burden or anything else ? He is also interested in investing money.. but At this time of his age , he looks for low to moderate risk plans. Guide him/me to step up his financial status.
Ans: Your father has entered a very important phase of life with stable pension income, controlled expenses, and a meaningful lump sum in hand. This gives a good base to make calm and sensible decisions. With the right steps, financial comfort and peace of mind are very much achievable.
» Understanding the Current Cash Flow Situation
– Monthly pension and home loan EMI are equal, which means the entire pension is getting blocked
– Monthly household expenses are modest and manageable
– The home loan is the only major liability
– Gratuity amount is sufficient to fully address the loan if required
This situation calls for prioritising certainty, emotional comfort, and steady income rather than chasing high returns.
» Priority of Debt Clearance at Retirement
– At retirement, protecting regular income becomes more important than growing wealth aggressively
– When EMI equals pension, it creates mental pressure and reduces flexibility
– Clearing the home loan removes interest burden and frees the pension fully for living expenses
– Being debt-free at retirement brings emotional relief, which is a big but often ignored benefit
From a Certified Financial Planner’s perspective, clearing the home loan using gratuity is a strong and sensible step in this case.
» Impact of Closing the Home Loan
– Pension of Rs. 51,000 becomes fully available
– After expenses of around Rs. 20,000, there is monthly surplus
– No dependency on investment returns to meet daily needs
– Lower stress during market ups and downs
This creates a solid foundation before thinking about investments.
» Investing After Loan Closure
– Do not invest the entire gratuity at once
– Keep sufficient amount in safe and liquid avenues for emergencies
– Investment should focus on capital protection first, income second, and growth last
– Avoid locking money for long periods
At this age, investments should support life, not control it.
» Suitable Risk Approach at This Stage
– Low to moderate risk is appropriate and practical
– Portfolio should be spread across stable income options and carefully chosen growth-oriented mutual funds
– Avoid aggressive strategies or return promises
– Regular review is more important than high returns
Actively managed mutual funds are better suited here as they adjust to market conditions and manage downside risks, which is important post-retirement.
» Creating Monthly Income and Stability
– Use part of surplus pension for simple, planned investments
– Keep some amount invested for inflation protection
– Maintain enough liquidity to avoid forced withdrawals
– Do not depend fully on markets for monthly expenses
This balanced approach gives income comfort and gradual wealth support.
» Emergency and Health Planning
– Keep at least one year of expenses in easily accessible form
– Ensure health insurance is active and adequate
– Avoid using investments for unexpected medical needs
This protects long-term investments from early disruption.
» Role of Discipline and Guidance
– Avoid reacting to short-term market movements
– Stick to simple, understandable products
– Investing through a regular plan with guidance ensures monitoring, behavioural support, and timely corrections
At this stage, guidance matters more than saving small costs.
» Final Insights
– Closing the home loan is the first and most sensible move
– Debt-free retirement improves quality of life and decision-making
– Investments should follow stability-first thinking
– A calm, structured approach will protect capital and provide confidence
Your concern for your father’s future is thoughtful and responsible. With these steps, he can enjoy retirement with dignity, peace, and financial comfort.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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