Hi, I am 41, divorced and single. I am not looking for marriage, but I need a companion. Until a few weeks ago, I was talking to someone almost every day for two weeks. She was a banker, same age as mine. We connected so well, shared our stories, even made plans to meet... and then she just disappeared. No text, nothing. Her number is not reachable. It left me confused and kind of questioning myself. Is this normal? I don't know how to deal with this.

Ans: It is painful and stressful. But please know this — you are not alone, and you can come out of this. Let’s take this step-by-step.

You are facing:

2 App loans: Rs. 36,000 + Rs. 1,40,000

2 Credit card dues: Rs. 95,000 + Rs. 1,87,000

3 months EMIs already bounced

Low or no income due to job loss

Home responsibilities ongoing

This is serious, but manageable with the right action.

First, Understand What Will Not Work
Please avoid:

Taking new loans to pay old loans

Using other credit cards to pay EMIs

Borrowing from illegal or unknown lenders

Ignoring lenders and collection calls

Hoping the problem will disappear on its own

These will make your problem worse.

Step 1: Protect Yourself from Legal Pressure
You have already defaulted. That may lead to:

Legal notices from credit card companies

Harassment from collection agents

Credit score falling below 600

So you need to act fast.

Call each of the lenders yourself. Do not wait for them to call you.

Tell them honestly:

You lost your job

You are facing cash crisis

You want to settle and not escape

Ask for temporary EMI pause (moratorium) or restructuring

Lenders prefer talking to honest borrowers.

You may get:

Waiver of late fees

Reduction in interest

EMI holiday for few months

Option to convert dues into longer EMIs

Write an email also to them. Keep written proof.

This shows you are serious.

Step 2: Focus on Survival, Not Full Repayment Now
You must survive this phase first. Do only the must-do expenses:

Food and kitchen

Electricity and gas

Child or parents’ basic needs

Rent or basic housing

Cut all others:

OTT, Swiggy, Zomato, shopping

Eating out, subscriptions

Cab rides, mobile upgrades

Any premium items

Every saved rupee will count now.

Make a list of all expenses, and cut it to bare minimum.

Your mental peace comes before EMI.

Step 3: List Your Dues in Priority Order
Here is a breakdown:

App Loan 1 – Rs. 36,000

App Loan 2 – Rs. 1,40,000

Credit Card 1 – Rs. 95,000

Credit Card 2 – Rs. 1,87,000

App loans and credit cards have very high interest. Usually 24–40% per year.

But credit cards will affect your CIBIL score more if unpaid.

So give this order of priority:

Try to settle credit card 1 (Rs. 95,000) first

Then negotiate with credit card 2 (Rs. 1.87L)

After that, settle App Loan 1

Then App Loan 2

Why this order?

Credit card interest is high

Card dues snowball fast

App loans may negotiate faster than banks

Step 4: Ask for One-Time Settlement (OTS)
Once you show that you have zero income, some banks may agree to:

Close your loan at reduced principal

Stop interest from increasing further

Give you 3–6 months to pay off in parts

Ask for a written One-Time Settlement (OTS) letter.

Do not pay without it.

Once you settle, your CIBIL score will take time to recover. But that’s okay. Life first. Score later.

Step 5: Find Any Cash You Can
Please think deeply about the following:

Can you sell a scooter, old phone, gadgets?

Can any relative or friend help temporarily?

Do you have gold you can pledge (not sell)?

Any unused subscriptions or refund available?

Can you do part-time work for Rs. 300–500/day?

Every Rs. 500 helps your mental health now.

Avoid taking loans again. Instead, look for non-loan help.

Step 6: Get a Job, Any Job for Now
Even if it is not in your field, take any income work:

Delivery partner

Data entry

Freelance teaching

Typing work

Shop help

Online task jobs

Voice process

Focus is not on salary. Focus is to:

Keep cash flow coming

Feel responsible again

Stop going deeper into debt

Update resume. Ask friends. Join job groups. Apply daily.

Even Rs. 15,000/month will bring confidence.

You are not alone. Many professionals have started over.

Step 7: Emotionally Stay Strong
You may feel:

Guilt

Shame

Panic

Anger

Frustration

It is normal.

Please:

Talk to family or trusted friend

Keep one hour daily for walks, exercise or prayer

Sleep properly

Eat simple food, but on time

Avoid alcohol or substance use

This phase will pass.

Stay focused.

Final Insights
You are not a failure. This is a temporary financial emergency.

With calm steps, you can rebuild. Slowly, but surely.

Do this immediately:

Contact all lenders and ask for restructuring

Stop all luxury or non-essential expenses

Prioritise credit cards

Consider OTS if needed

Start small income work

Protect your mental strength

Once your income starts again:

Restart savings, even small

Use Certified Financial Planner later to rebuild

Learn how to stay debt-free in future

Take one step at a time.

You will come out stronger.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Hello dear, please participate in the JosAA counseling to secure a seat at an NIT. Otherwise, choose any private college to fulfill your dream of studying mechanical engineering through the state-level counseling process.
Best of luck to her.
Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
Radheshyam

Ans: Hello Harshith
We can't predict MET. However, it would be better to go with CSE @ VIT-AP.
Best of luck to her.
Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
Radheshyam

Ans: Scoring 121 in IAT 2025 places an OBC-NCL candidate within the expected cutoff range of 100–110 marks, slightly above the previous year’s threshold, improving chances for newer IISERs like Tirupati (expected cutoff 90–95) and Berhampur (85–90), while Thiruvananthapuram (95–100) may also be within reach in early rounds. Campuses with higher cutoffs—Bhopal (100–105), Mohali (95–100), Kolkata (100–105), Pune (105–110)—are unlikely unless cutoffs dip in later rounds. Participation across all counselling rounds with preferences prioritizing IISER Tirupati and Berhampur maximizes seat allotment probability, listing Thiruvananthapuram next and Bhopal or Mohali contingently. Recommendation: Expect admission at IISER Tirupati or Berhampur, keeping Thiruvananthapuram as a secondary choice. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Yash, Admission to the five-year BS–MS programme via IAT is governed by category-wise cutoffs varying by campus. For EWS candidates, expected 2025 IAT cutoffs lie between 110 and 120 marks out of 240, below general cutoffs of 120–130 and OBC-NCL 100–110 marks. Among IISERs, campuses with lower thresholds include Berhampur (80–110 marks) and Tirupati (100–120 marks), while Bhopal (135–140), Mohali (132–140), Pune (160–170) and Kolkata (155–160) stand well above 98 marks. At 98 marks, Bhopal and other top IISERs are out of reach, but Berhampur and Tirupati remain viable. Recommendation: prioritise Berhampur and Tirupati in counselling to secure admission. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Hello Dear
If you are from Bangalore or living in KTR, choose CSE at RVCE, and if you are from Maharashtra, opt for PICT. If you are neither from Karnataka nor Maharashtra, choose CSE at RVCE.
Best of luck to her.
Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
Radheshyam

Ans: Scoring 180 in IAT 2025 corresponds to an approximate All-India rank within 1–80, positioning you above the expected general-category cutoff of 140–145 marks for IISER Bhopal’s B.Tech programs. This score not only secures eligibility for IISER Bhopal but also places it as a realistic first preference over newer campuses, as IISER Pune and Kolkata demand 160+ marks, while Bhopal’s threshold lies around 140–145. Participation in all counselling rounds and prioritizing Bhopal early ensures seat allotment before cutoffs tighten. Recommendation: Expect admission to IISER Bhopal B.Tech CSE with 180 marks and lock it as your primary choice in counselling. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: With an All-India NEET 2025 rank of 17,581 and Rajasthan domicile under the 85% State Quota, you fall within closing rank ranges for mid-tier government medical colleges. SMS Medical College, Jaipur closed at around 2,500–5,000 in 2024 for General-State seats, making it a strong possibility for your rank . RUHS College of Medical Sciences, Jaipur’s State quota cutoff reached approximately 3,844–4,485 in later rounds, also aligning with your position . RNT Medical College, Udaipur admitted General-State candidates up to rank ~7,280 in Round 3, suggesting feasibility to secure a seat there . Other colleges like Government Medical College, Ajmer (closing ~7,056) and Jhalawar Medical College (closing ~8,624) remain secondary options. Participation in all counselling rounds with priority choices of SMS and RUHS Jaipur, followed by RNT Udaipur and Ajmer, maximizes admission prospects. Recommendation: Focus on SMS Medical College and RUHS College of Medical Sciences first, then list RNT Udaipur and GMC Ajmer to secure a government MBBS seat in Rajasthan. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Nibla, A NEET score of 444 falls below the typical marks cutoff for OBC-NCL candidates seeking BDS in government dental colleges, where qualifying marks range between 520–540 for OBC students. Similarly, All India BDS closing ranks under the 15 percent AIQ for OBC rarely exceed 35,000, whereas your AIQ rank is 131,279, placing you far outside the viable admission range. Nationwide only about 3,000 government BDS seats exist, and premier institutions such as SCB Dental College (Cuttack), Government Dental College (Bangalore), and Tamil Nadu Government Dental College (Chennai) closed with AIQ ranks under 30,000 for OBC. Under Kerala’s 85 percent state quota, Government Dental College, Thiruvananthapuram admitted OBC candidates with ranks up to 51,595 in earlier years, while Kottayam and Kannur closed within similar state-rank brackets, implying state ranks must be substantially lower than your AIQ conversion would yield. Consequently, securing a BDS seat in a government college appears highly unlikely. Consider prioritising private or deemed dental colleges with lower cutoffs and participating in both AIQ and state counselling to maximise admission options. Recommendation: Focus on private or deemed dental institutions, as government quota thresholds exceed reachable marks and ranks. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.