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Why hasn't this US-based guy called me on video call after his dad promised?

Ravi Mittal |504 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi

I am 33 year old women and have been looking for matches in matrimony from year 2021 but was not getting suitable matches. Got connected with multiple profile but it didn't workout well.Just last month i saw one profile i liked it and sent request. My request got accepted and then i shared the contact no with my dad which was registered on matrimony. My dad called his dad and discussed about profiles and they liked it. Now the guy is in USA and his dad said he will be coming back next year. Till then his dad said let them connect on video call. So his dad shared my contact no with him and said he will call me. 2 days passed but he didn't call so my dad informed his dad and his dad called him and then he said he is quite busy in work and will ping me either in weekdays if free or on weekends. But then i didn't receive any reply and then again my dad called them after 10 days and asked why their son has not called yet so his dad also said he is busy but he will definetly call her and till then as per their earlier request we also said if you want to come and meet the family then can do that.so his dad said if we don't have any plan for the next week on weekends[i.e on 24th nov] then we will surely come but then on 23rd nov my dad called them regarding the meet and then they said they are out so mostly will not be able to come tomorrow and his dad said i will ask son to talk to your daughter first today. After this there was no conversation bcoz his son didn't call. Later when i searched him on facebook coincidently on one of his post i saw his contact number and i checked on whatsapp and then i came to know he has saved my contact no. But then i am confused why he haven't called me yet. First time i have got some good vibes about someone but this is really killing me. I was doing lot of overthinking then i asked my dad again if we can ask his contact number and my dad said no this will look desperate to them. I already have his contact number but confused like should i text him what can be the consequences.Lots of thoughts running into my mind. Please help me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, there is no hard and fast rule that says that men have to make the first move. If you like someone, you can easily give him a call or drop a text. If a man finds that desperate, you should not settle for someone like that.

Next, judging by the series of events, I would say there is a good chance of either of two things happening- first, he might actually be very busy. But I don't think people are ever so busy that they can't take five minutes of their time to make a call. But then again, you are still strangers and hence, you are not his priority currently. Second, they might be breadcrumbing you. Just giving you enough hope to keep you hooked while they search for more potential matches. The most concerning thing is that the entire family can't keep their word or have the decency to inform about the change of plans.

Your father is not wrong; right now if you contact him after he has repeatedly failed to contact you, it will not look good, and worse, you will not feel good about it. My question is, do you really want a man like this? I know you have been trying for a while and not getting good results can be frustrating, but that does not mean you have to settle for this. I truly believe you deserve better. You can wait some more and see where it goes, but I strongly suggest not pursuing things from your end anymore. Let them do so if they are truly interested. Suppose they don't, understand that you have dodged a bullet.

Best Wishes.