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30-Year-Old Introverted Woman Struggling with Dating - Seeking Advice

Anu Krishna |1571 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I am a 30 year old working woman. I am pretty introvert and never have been in a relationship. Men have never approached me maybe because of my closed off nature. My mother has been constantly pressing me to look for a potential match for last 3-4 years. I have been trying dating apps and matrimony apps and have gone on a lot of dates but till now there has been no success. This entire process is taking a toll on me. When I say this to my mother she will not listen and instead keeps on searching for matches herself and make me go on dates which ultimately doesn't last since none of them seem to be compatible (mainly because of difference in family background, salary differences , values mismatch,etc). At this point I am confused. I do want to settle down for the sake of life long companionship but feel that things aren't working for me and sometimes my frustrations make me feel that I am good not married. What should I do in this case?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When the right person comes along, you will know it. Until then, enjoy the process without being too attached to the outcome. If something clicks, then it does...why fret over anything?
Your mother is just doing what she is out of love and concern; so, let her! By pushing her back it will only heighten her concern and it will come back to you in other unhealthy ways. Go along with it and just play the wait and watch game. A good way to convert your frustration into something more useful and light.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1571 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Question by CYRIL - Jun 09, 2023Hindi

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Hi Anu, I am 50 years, Divorced, No Kids, I live with my Mom, I am afraid to enter in to any relationships because of my past experience and now i am lonely and lost. Please suggest what to do ?

Ans: Dear Cyril,
Do past experiences define your present? If that's the way that you have accepted it, that is what has caused you to be where you are now.

If I were to assume that you your divorce has what has made you not explore it ever again after that, haven't you done great dis-service to yourself?
Why generalize that it will repeat or that all relationships might be the same as before?
For anything new to take place, the old thoughts might be replaced...give yourself that chance at exploring a new relationship. I am sure that your Mom will support you on your newer ways of thinking about relationships. Put your best foot forward and look forward to inviting something new and different. It takes that one small step...
PONDER:
One relationship gone sour DOES NOT mean that all future ones will end the same way
INSTEAD
One relationship gone sour CAN mean that you now know better what relationships can be like

A small tweak can create wonders...

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1571 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024

Relationship

Hi, I am a 48 year old unmarried woman. I stay with my parents and we 3 enjoy our life in our own way. I have 2 married elder sisters and share a loving relation with them. In short I am blessed with a loving and supportive family. But at times I miss having a man in my life. We have tried so hard but nothing materialised on the marriage front.All men in my age group either married or divorced with kids. Do u think its ok to get married if I find someone whom I like. Sometimes I feel i should atleast date someone and if marriage is to happen it will. I am single for a very long time. I am grateful to God for all the good things I have in my life. How to find someone no clue. Have tried thru matrimony no success. Not interested in any dating app. Nor interested in casual dating with a younger guy. I need someone of my age or elder. Pls advise. Thanks..

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Of course, you must date someone if that's what you want and it's possible by entering the right social circles. Something that interests you can be a point of meeting; gym, sports, music groups, dance groups, theater groups...the list is long...
It just takes that little effort to join one of these and meet a few like-minded people who are not just into casual dating but are interested in pursuing a connection with you...So, give it a shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Shalini Singh |149 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Respected ma'am I am Priyanka, looking for marriage from quite sometime now. Soon i am turning 31, parents are worried.. i have never been in a romantic relationship in my teens or 20s.. that's because I didn't want to go against my parents.. now most of my friends and juniors are getting married.. i feel left out.. i feel i am not getting the right guy for marriage.. i feel i may not be ready for a marital relationship, feel shy about it.. what to do, please advise and help

Ans: Hello Priyanka - Indian parents tend to worry if their child does not get married and more so as they enter in their 30s, so it is normal. The question here is - will you be ok to find your person or will go with what your parents want...this is something you need to respond to. Also how much do you know yourself - whilst you are saying you are not ready for marriage, you should know why not...you may like to schedule a 1:1 with me - google and you will know how.

Anu Krishna |1571 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi Everyone, I'm 28M, IT employee, please do think from my perspective what am I about to ask. Since according to indian standards I'm already late for marriage. Now the thing is I've seen enough of failed marriages, not only in news but in own family and not everytime it was fault of the female part but I've seen good men struggling to handle themselves, few times their parents in jail. Thing is I won't be able to tolerate this kind of situation and I'm afraid of myself if I'm ever in this situation. My mother has sacrificed enough to put me through school and college and I do not wish to put her in any trouble because someone had a previous relationship which they are not able to forget or they don't like me then but get's married for the sake of it. I've never been in relationship and has been introvert throughout my life. Things that I've seen in my office and on news and at home have shaken my trust into anyone. A guy like me who use to trust anyone just because they say so is not struggling to even trust my own parents sometimes. Now please don't give me argument like not evey women is like this. I know but I just can't trust anyone and I've told this to my parents yet they insist on me being married. Everyone around me is just telling me how important it is to be married but I just can't. Since I'm only kid of my parents now my mum stopped talking to me a d I've given her my side yet she is pretty adamant on me getting married. Kindly let me know how should I proceed. Also I'm not interested even in being live in or having a girlfriend. I just don't know what to make of my life. So pretty confused, angry, frustrated and what not. Also my mother says that she'll have a thorough background check before taking things any further. I know how cute she is. She thinks everyone is as honest as her. Kindly guide me about how should I proceed since most of the people in my family is now not talking to me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How have you managed to confuse yourself so much? You know how?
By reading into situations that have happened outside of you way too much. Yes, I will say this to you; not all women are the way you perceive.
If you got attacked by a cat, you will say...All cats are aggressive and dangerous. Is this true? Are all cats that way or just the one that you got attacked by?
In your case, you have only seen failed marriages and you have concluded as some universal truth that things will go bad and then you have gone to the extent of protecting your mother. Do you not see what rigid thinking can do? Confuse you, derail you, disillusion you...
If you wish to set things right, change the way that you are thinking of marriage, potential partners for marriage...focus on what can go right rather than on what can go wrong, will help you a lot in this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi

Hello sir!I am a 26 year old female doctor who just started investing.I need to plan for my retirement,children education, Health insurance and build a diversified portfolio.Currently, I am earning 45k per month.How can I plan and invest; where can I allocate my funds? Can you please guide me

Ans: Hello;

Begin with creating an emergency fund worth 6 month of expenses.

Get a pure term insurance cover of adequate value with accident benefit and critical illness riders.

Open an NPS account for retirement planning.

Invest in mutual funds for all other financial goals based on your risk appetite, financial profile and time horizon.

You may seek help from an MFD, if required.

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Dr Upneet Kaur |21 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2025Hindi

Dear Dr Upneet mam, my husband ignores me all the time. We have been married for 12 years and have a 10 year old son. I am an MCom graduate who quit my job after my son was born. Today, both my son and husband don't respect me because I am a housewife and I don't have an income. I want to work, become financially independent and have my own savings, but I have to take care of my in-laws who are unwell. I am feeling very demotivated. What should I do?

Ans: Hello mam,
The problem you are facing is very important to discuss. Well, I appreciate your sacrifice of leaving your job for your son and in laws. I understand that you have to take care of your in laws also and your family also. In today's world there are many work from home options that you can see and work on like you can join some coaching site, or if you know something then you can share your knowledge with others. You can earn very well by working from home and you can take care of your family also. I hope this will work. Gradually your husband and your son will understand you and start respecting you. Take care !
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Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur |21 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2025

Hello Dr Kaur. My husband chats with random women online at night. We have been married for 5 years and have a 2 year old daughter who sleeps next to us. It is embarrassing and I have caught him secretly checking out women on dating apps and social media. I don't know if he is casually browsing, dating or having an affair outside of our marriage. When I walk into the room, he will switch off his screen and pretend to sleep or work on something important and change the topic immediately. Ours is an arranged marriage. How do I discuss this nicely without offending him? Please help.

Ans: Hello mam
It's completely understandable that you're feeling concerned, embarrassed, and unsure about how to approach this situation. As a relationship counselor, I'd suggest that you choose a calm and private moment to talk to your husband, avoiding any blaming tone. Start expressing your feelings and concerns. You could say, "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something that's been bothering me. I've noticed that you're often on your phone at night, and I feel uncomfortable not knowing what's going on. Can we talk about what's going on and why you're doing this?" In this way, you may be able to have a more open and honest discussion about what's going on and work together to find a resolution that strengthens your relationship.
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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2025Hindi

Relationship

This girl is talking to her brother and then out of nowhere she makes eye contact with me I never did anything I only looked at her while they were talking she did it

Ans: Hello sir. I am not finding your question proper. Can you plz elaborate the question and ask it again?

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Question by anonymous - Mar 19, 2025

HI! i need an advice on how convince my parents, i am in love with a guy who is much genuine to all my feelings and loves me to the core, well he earns a quite less than me, that is the major reason for my parents disapproval also he belongs to a different caste, i had tried convincing my parents certain times telling them about how we could handle our lives happily but it ended up in them blackmailing emotionally, and verbally and physically abusing. i found this page and thought this would be apt for giving me answers

Ans: Hello mam, it is not bad to fall in love with a person who has a different caste from yours or earns a little less than yours.
Financial things can be managed at a point but he should be willing to change his own situation by working on it.
You can sit with your parents and talk to them and convince them to atleast have a meeting with the boy and share their concerns with him. I am sure you will be able to convince them and make the things in order. Take care !
Reach me :
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

Ravi Mittal |555 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Question by Srijal - Mar 25, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I shot an mv with one of my friend who is also a friend to my bf. It was a simple video with no awkward or controversial scenes but my bf just hated it and kept on blaming me saying how could i do such an awful thing while he was away for training (btw, he was in his army training phase and got access to phones only on sunday the video got out on saturday). He kept on pastering the same thing over and over again despite me telling him several times that it is not what he thinks it is. It has been 2 years and more since that incident and he again brought that topic. This time he says that his mom saw it and looks really bad and he felt terrible and stuffs like that. hearing this i fell upset and cried too. We've been together for almost 5 years now should I breakup with him for never supporting me and always acting insecure. What's your opinion on this matter?

Ans: Dear Srijal,
If you know there is nothing awkward or controversial about the scenes, keep your head held high. The most you can do here is ask your partner what is it about the situation that’s bothering him so much- if his answer sounds reasonable, you can try to clarify things. But if it is simply his mindset or nature that is making the entire situation more complicated than it is, please rethink this relationship. This might repeat with several other innocent situations.

Hope this helps

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 18, 2025

Relationship

I am 21 years old girl and I am preparing for my banking exam. I have completed my bachelor's and currently I am pursuing m.com . I am having an affair with a guy who is married having two children and we have together spent 4 years. We love each other alot and he also takes care for me everytime. My mother abstained me from talking to him last year as we committed her that we want to marry but now everything is ok My mother is also talking to him and I am also . My mother is not agree with this marriage but his mother is agree . What should we do now???

Ans: Hello mam,
I understand your dilemma mam. Let's look at both aspects of this relationship.

If you go ahead with this relationship, what have you thought about his previous family? His marital status and family commitments can't be ignored. Have you considered the potential impact on his children and wife? Their life will be ruined and kids future will be at stake.

Secondly, your mother concern is very important and correct. The person who already has family commitments will not be able to invest the same amount of financial and emotional resources in your relationship.

I understand that you have invested four years in your relationship and you both care for each other. But in this case, it is advisable for both the families to sit and discuss every aspect and problems of this situation. The situation will get clear and you ll be able to take a better decision. You can also try couple counsellings.

In case the things dont work out then accept the reality and move on gracefully and welcome the opportunities that are waiting for you with open arms.
Take care !
Reach me:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 12, 2025Hindi

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Dear sir , Please guide me I have 18 lc in defence PPF with 7.1% intrest. I will be in service for next 10 year , have 70k salary . Should i invest 10 Lac lumpsum in parts in mutual fund from pf . I need it for my son in next 15 to 16 year. If yes which should my portfolio, i can go for high risk in small , and also for 15 yr vision Mrket is down i m thinking to put in 3 to 4 mf. Please guide , i have separate emergency fund too

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How much corpus you want/expect to build in 15 years for higher education needs of your child.

Please clarify.

Thanks;

Radheshyam Zanwar |1492 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Question by Rahul - Mar 25, 2025Hindi

My daughter had scored 95.52 percentile in general category, can she get seat at NIT, in biotechnology branch

Ans: Hello Rahul
With a 95.52 percentile in the General category, your daughter has a good chance of getting a seat in Biotechnology at some NITs, though it depends on the specific cutoffs. She should participate in JoSAA counseling and fill in multiple choices to maximize her chances. Thanks
Follow me, if you like the reply.
Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar |1492 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Question by Rahul - Mar 25, 2025Hindi

Career

My daughter had scored 95.52 percentile in general category, can she get seat at NIT, in biotechnology branch

Ans: Hello Rahul
With a 95.52 percentile in the General category, your daughter has a good chance of getting a seat in Biotechnology at some NITs, though it depends on the specific cutoffs. She should participate in JoSAA counseling and fill in multiple choices to maximize her chances. Thanks
Follow me, if you like the reply.
Radheshyam

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