I am a 25 year girl. I am in love with a 42 year men. He is also in love with me but he is married too. What should I do ?

Ans: Dear V,
Do you have an opinion on your life or is it going to be governed by what someone else?
Associations with anyone who is married invariably doesn't lead anywhere and you have seen that...He has a family and that is his priority...6 years of your precious time has been with someone who can never give you the status or position that you seek in his life.
Why not rework the way you have been approaching your associations with men so far?
Ask yourself:
- Am I interested in casual relationships or do I want to be in a committed relationship?
- What kind of person will be able to value me, honor and respect me for who I am?
- What are must haves for me in a committed relationship? Does the man in question fill this for me?
- What is something that is a strict NO-NO for me in a relationship?
- What is my opinion on marriage and the responsibilities that come along with it?

This reality check will put things into perspective for you and then you can decide from a place of 'knowing' rather than a place of 'being told'. It's your life and your opinion matters the most!

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am assuming your boyfriend is married to another woman. Then legally, he is her partner, not yours. I am not sure what suggestion or advice you are asking for, but nevertheless, I will go ahead and advise you to sever ties with him. I don't know what else to tell you. If he did love you, he wouldn't be married to another woman. Don't ruin your life like this. You deserve better. In fact, so does your BF's wife.

Best wishes.

Ans: This is a deeply personal situation, and navigating it will require thoughtfulness, honesty, and courage. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you process your feelings and decide your next steps:

Step 1: Reflect on Your Current Marriage
Identify the Core Issues: Lack of physical intimacy and emotional connection are significant concerns. Reflect on whether there are other underlying issues contributing to your unhappiness
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Assess Efforts Made: Have you and your spouse communicated about these issues? Have you tried couples counseling or sought professional help to address the challenges in your marriage?

Consider Your Commitment: Marriage is a partnership that sometimes requires hard work to rekindle the bond. Ask yourself if you're willing to explore ways to rebuild your connection.

Step 2: Understand Your Feelings for the New Person

Excitement vs. Stability: New relationships often bring excitement and a sense of emotional fulfillment that can contrast with a long-term relationship's challenges. Be mindful of whether this is a genuine connection or an escape from your marriage’s difficulties.

Consider Practicality: A relationship with the new person will come with its own challenges. Are they ready to commit to you, and do they understand your current situation?

Step 3: Evaluate the Impact of Your Decisions

On Your Child: Your decisions will profoundly affect your child’s life. Consider how any changes might impact their emotional well-being.

On Yourself: Think about the long-term implications of leaving your marriage versus staying and working on it. Either path will have challenges, but personal growth is possible in both.

Challenges You May Face If You Pursue the New Relationship
Judgment from Society and Family: There may be backlash from your spouse, family, or friends, especially since a child is involved.

Complex Transition: Ending a marriage, co-parenting, and starting a new relationship can be emotionally and logistically difficult.

Emotional Processing: Even if you choose the new relationship, unresolved feelings about your marriage might linger.

Step 4: Communicate Honestly

With Your Spouse: It’s important to have an honest conversation about your feelings and the state of your marriage. This is necessary whether you choose to leave or stay.

With Yourself: Be truthful about your motivations. Are you seeking happiness, avoiding pain, or looking for something that might not solve the deeper issues?

Step 5: Seek Professional Help

Individual Counseling: A therapist can help you understand your feelings and guide you in making a decision that aligns with your values and goals.

Couples Counseling: If there’s any desire to salvage your marriage, professional mediation can provide tools to rebuild intimacy and communication.

Key Considerations

A new relationship may feel like the answer, but lasting happiness comes from within. Ensure you're addressing your own needs and self-growth first.

Making life changes, especially involving your child, should be done with caution and clarity about your long-term vision.

This is a difficult crossroads, but with careful thought and intentional action, you can make a choice that feels right for you and your family.