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Is society more important than my happiness? 22 year old with a great life seeking advice on marrying a 32 year old man

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I am 22 years old having a good job and financially independent also was so good ij studies since childhood. I love a guy who so 32 years old with same caste, good family background and financially settled in his life. Despite of age gap, we are so in love with each other. My parents are not agreeing to this as he is 10 years older than me, they are so much concerned about society. I also do have an elder sister who is not married yet but we are ok to wait for a few years. But they are not accepting him and saying if i go and get married to me they will consider me dead for them. What do i do? I can’t leave my family nor him.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Then wait for a few years...things may just get better in those few years and your parents may start to accept the guy. It's not like you need them give you a nod right away for marriage, right? So, wait up...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Madam i am 21 years old having a good post at central government as at erly age i got job and i joint it now i am 22 and having a boyfriend he is also central government officer and he is age 29 bu despite of the age gap the love bloomed and we are so in love with each other i told my family early tge condition and said that i want to marry him but my parents said after 25 we will ger u married but by sharing this at hone they are not having trust on mr and are being insecure and wants me to leave a government job and to come home because he is not from same caste and it will also be interstate marriage my family is having the fear of relatives and my mother us against of it they are saying intercaste marriage we will not support or accept continuously emotional blackmail to me trying to manipulate, brainwash me and abusing me emotionally verbally and physically. what should i do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Inter-faith marriages are still a big NO NO in many homes and yours is not an exception. Like in many other cases, my suggestion has been that both sides must want to get to know the other person. Like your parents need to see a different side of your boyfriend to be willing to accept him.
What is it that he can bring in their daughter's life that will ease their concerns about his faith/religion?
So, your boyfriend must be willing to be patient and make efforts on his part to integrate into your family. It takes time, so be patient.
Now, for your job...do not confuse emotions and your job. Your parents feels that you might take drastic steps with your boyfriend and hence want you closer to home so that they can keep an eye on you. Address this concern by being mature and immersing yourself more into work that gives them the confidence that you are not about to do anything behind their back.
Addressing what bothers them is a better way out rather than trying to convince them...as the same issues will keep coming back if you force them to accept something. So, be patient and responsible for things to sort themselves out...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2024

Question by Bhagyashree - Aug 04, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hii actually i love someone and also he loves me very much as I am 19 and he is going to be 20 and we told our family members about our relationship and wants to marry but they are not agreeing as we both have different caste but we can't leave each other and marry someone else what should I do

Ans: Dear Bhagyashree,
Love is nice, Love is fun...
At 19 and 20, isn't that a phase where one focuses on studies, their careers. That's message enough for you...
Regarding marriage, I guess when you and your boyfriend show some maturity by working and becoming financially independent, there's a fair chance that your parents might at least be willing to see things the way you want them to...
Why would they agree to let you marry someone who's 20 and still has to stand on his own feet? And you too...
Of course, unless, he's someone who has come up with genuine ideas and is making good money as an entrepreneur. Girl, focus on what needs your focus and someday things may fall in place.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Madam i am 31 yrs old female, I love my college mate he is of my age. We both love each other and he is of another faith. His parents are accept whatever he says, but my parents are not accepting. Since 4 years i am trying to convince them but they are not at all even trying to understand inspite they are trying to convince me to marry someone with in our caste. My boyfriend also spoke with my father but he is very stubborn about his decision. My boyfriend is asking me to take a decision to either choose him or my parents, i know he loves me a lot but he also concerns about our age. He said its already latr, if we marry now also we will be starting our life very late. What should i do my parents are very sensitive to the judgememnts of the society. If i choose him, i dont know how they gonna handle. But also i dont want to loose him. He dont want to wait now.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your boyfriend is right; make a decision and you are old enough to run your life the way that you want.
Someone is going to get hurt when you make a decision; you take that call...
You are telling me: I want to marry my boyfriend but my parents won't agree but I don't want to lose my boyfriend but I don't want to hurt my parents...
So many BUTs will just confuse matters. Make a decision, stick with it...things will fall in place.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Question by niveditha - Jan 19, 2025Hindi

Relationship

hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 years nd he is 28 we both r in love with eachother and wanna marry eachother but the prblm is that i come from a christian family and he comes from a hindu family my mom is not ready to accept him just because he is a hindu and my family r forcing me to get married to a christian guy itself they r mentally forcing me everyday to leave him just because he is a hindu nd our caste is different my family seperated me from him and forcing me to get married to a guy of their choice and in my family there r 16 members who have had love marriages i took help of my relative who also had a love marriage to convince my parents and help us to get married but she is the one who add more fake rumors and more fuel about him that he is doing timepass even if they talk to him in calls they say that he is not lifting our calls at all i have all the recordings but still they r lying to me nd my mom saying that he is not ready to talk about her it became difficult for me to convince them my mom listen to my relatives as they say and so they do i dont have anyone to support me to get married to my bf plz help i wanna marry him only and i see future with him he is the only one who make me laugh play with me like how a dad plays with his daughter i havent got the love from my parents when im getting the love from him they seperated me from him and forcefully bought me to my native place nd not letting me meet or see him im depressed asking my parents to meet him but they r like no we dont like him my parents r not ready to understand and they r saying he is with u only for ur money he also told my relatives that i dont want money but still they r keeping on adding fuel and mentally harrasing me to get married to someone else they r forcefully trying to get me married to someone else i wanna marry him only what should i do plz help i love him so does he

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Latest Questions

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025Hindi

Health

We are couple with 1 child. However, struggling with schools for my 11 year old who has autism, can talk and severe adhd. Schools are saying that they cannot enrol him yet due to behaviour and the fact that he wont listen to anyone and behave badly. He is smart in academics but likes to do things as he wishes creating issues. he struggles with peer communication and sitting in one place and will slouch and fall from the chair. Are there any options that we can look at. As his IQ is normal we feel he will struggle in a special school as well.

Ans: I understand how difficult and frustrating this situation must be for you as parents. Your child is bright and capable, but his challenges with behavior, attention, and sitting still are making school enrollment tough. Finding the right environment that supports both his academic strengths and his needs is essential. Inclusive schools with special education support or Montessori-style learning environments may offer a more flexible and understanding approach. Occupational therapy can help increase his sitting tolerance, posture, and focus, while behavioral therapy can support emotional regulation and social interactions. You might also consider discussing the option of a shadow teacher with school staff, as one-on-one assistance in a classroom can make a big difference. In case you don't get access to an occupational therapist, approach a physiotherapist with an understanding of Sensory Integration, as they can also help with improving his body awareness and tolerance for sitting. You are not alone in this journey, and with the right support, your child can thrive. I encourage you to connect with a special educator or developmental therapist to explore the best options for him. I request you to be strong and determined. for your son.

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2025Hindi

Sir does doing soleus push up exercise daily bring down blood gulcose.

Ans: Yes, doing soleus push-ups daily may help in lowering blood glucose levels. Recent research suggests that activating the soleus muscle (the deeper calf muscle) through slow, repeated contractions can significantly improve glucose metabolism. This happens because the soleus muscle efficiently utilizes blood sugar and fat for energy without heavily relying on insulin, making it beneficial for blood sugar regulation.

A study by David Elek et al., titled *"The effects of soleus push-up on glucose tolerance among individuals with prediabetes ([DOI: 10.1101/2024.11.14.623602](https://doi.org/10.1101/2024.11.14.623602)), provides further insights into this mechanism. Their research highlights how engaging the soleus muscle in low-intensity contractions can play a role in managing glucose levels, particularly in individuals with prediabetes.

However, while soleus push-ups can help manage glucose levels, they should be combined with a balanced diet, regular physical activity, and proper diabetes management. If you have diabetes or blood sugar concerns, it’s best to track your glucose levels and discuss any new exercise routine with a physiotherapist or healthcare provider to ensure it fits your overall health plan.

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Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Question by RUPESH - Feb 18, 2025Hindi

I have been suffering from this problem for over 20 years. Most of the time, I experience pain in my body, and whenever I am in front of my boss and he asks me anything, I get extremely nervous and my body feels weak and drained all the time.

Ans: Hello Mr. Rupesh . As a Physiotherapist I would suggest relaxation exercises and meditation . However you can also consult a psychologist.

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024Hindi

Health

Hello sir, I'm 52 years lady with active lifestyle..by profession I m doctor..my weight is 92 kg..will try lot's of things to reduce my weight as regularly 45 minutes walk,strength and cardio exercises and try to maintain balance diet but result is zero..infact i gain weight day by day...plz help me...thanks in advance ????????

Ans: Thank you for reaching out. Since you have an active lifestyle but are experiencing weight gain despite regular exercise and a balanced diet, there may be underlying factors affecting your metabolism. Hormonal imbalances (like thyroid issues or insulin resistance), stress, poor sleep, or even undereating leading to metabolic slowdown could be contributing to the issue. It would be helpful to get your thyroid, insulin, and cortisol levels checked to rule out any medical reasons. Additionally, focusing on strength training over excessive cardio, tracking your calorie intake accurately, and ensuring enough protein intake can help optimize fat loss. Consider consulting a nutritionist or endocrinologist for a personalized approach. A physiotherapist can also guide you on the best exercise strategies to improve metabolism. Don’t lose hope—small adjustments can make a big difference!

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Question by Arijit - Jan 01, 2025Hindi

Suppose a person weighing 70 kg walks at a speed of 2km per hour. Will he/she lose carbohydrates or fat or both?

Ans: Dear Mr. Arjit .Thank you for your question. When a person weighing 70 kg walks at a slow pace of 2 km per hour, the body primarily uses fat as the main energy source. Since this is a low-intensity activity, oxygen is readily available, allowing fat to be burned efficiently. Carbohydrates are used more during higher-intensity activities, such as brisk walking or running. While a small amount of carbohydrates may be utilized, the majority of energy comes from fat metabolism. To improve endurance and optimize fat burning, incorporating brisk walking, strength training, or interval exercises can be beneficial. For a personalized exercise plan based on fitness goals, I recommend visiting a nearby physiotherapist for proper guidance. Wishing you good health and fitness!

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2025Hindi

Health

Sir how to improve my core strength? Any exercises that you would recommend? I am 34

Ans: Dear Madam/Sir. Appreciate you reach out to improve core strength as many people do neglect core muscle strength. A strong core is essential for better posture, stability, and overall fitness. To strengthen your core, start with a plank, where you lift your body onto your forearms and toes, keeping your back straight and holding the position for 30-60 seconds. Next, try the bird-dog by getting on all fours, stretching one arm forward and the opposite leg backward, holding for a few seconds, and switching sides. The dead bug is another great exercise—lie on your back with arms and legs raised, then slowly lower one arm and the opposite leg before switching. For lower back and glute activation, perform glute bridges by lying on your back with knees bent, lifting your hips up, and lowering them slowly. Russian twists improve oblique strength; sit with bent knees, lean back slightly, and twist your torso side to side. Leg raises help target the lower abs—lie flat, lift both legs straight up, and lower them without touching the ground. Lastly, try the hollow body hold by lying on your back, lifting your shoulders and legs slightly off the ground, and holding the position while keeping your core engaged. Perform these exercises 3-4 times a week for better core strength and stability. Wishing you success in building a strong core!

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi

Health

My father had a spine surgery in 2019. Since then he occasionally experiences lower back pain, especially if he travels or sits for long hours. He does some stretching and cardio. Can you suggest some exercises to help him strengthen his back?

Ans: Dear Madam/Sir . Thank you for your query. Since your father has a history of spine surgery, his lower back pain may be related to slip disc or spinal canal stenosis, especially after prolonged sitting or travel. To strengthen his back safely, he can try gentle core and back exercises such as pelvic tilts, bridges, and bird-dog to improve stability. Seated lumbar extensions and gentle spinal decompression (lying on his back with knees bent) can help relieve pressure. Stretching the hamstrings and hip flexors will also reduce strain on his lower back. However, he should avoid high-impact activities, deep forward bending, and heavy lifting. Since his condition requires personalized care, I strongly recommend visiting a nearby physiotherapist for a proper assessment and a tailored exercise plan. Wishing him a quick recovery!

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |151 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi

I have noticed a bit of stiffness and occasional pain in my hips, especially if I am sitting for long periods at work. I am 32, single and I have a sedentary banking job. I travel about 2 to 3 hours a day by public transport. I am not sure how to manage my schedule and find time for some workout. Can you suggest some tips and exercises that can help reduce pain and improve my health and flexibility?

Ans: Dear Madam/Sir .Thank you for your query. Your hip stiffness and occasional pain are likely due to prolonged sitting during work and commuting. To reduce discomfort, maintain proper posture, take breaks every 30-45 minutes, and use lumbar support. Incorporate simple stretches like seated figure-four, hip flexor stretch, and deep squat hold to improve flexibility. Strengthening exercises such as glute bridges and clamshells can provide better hip stability. Whenever possible, stand during your commute and walk around during breaks to avoid prolonged sitting. If the pain persists or worsens, visit a physiotherapist for a proper assessment and personalized treatment plan. Wishing you a quick recovery!

Radheshyam Zanwar |1473 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Question by ASMIT - Mar 22, 2025Hindi

I got 96.5 percentile in JEE Mains Session 1 (SC). West Bengal home state. I have a interest in sports and would like to go with some electronics related branch. Which NIT & branch combination would be the best choice for me. I was thinking about NITR EIE

Ans: Hello Asmit.
There are chances to get a set in NITs. If you are interested in sports, then choose computer computer-related branch or IT branch to have flexibility in your studies. Hope, you may be admitted to NIT Rauekela with the preferred branch. Bst of luck to you.
Follow me if you like the reply.
Radheshyam

Yogendra Arora |12 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Question by Amit - Mar 13, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello, I am a salaried individual posted in Gurgaon hailing from Mumbai. Can I claim HRA for both Gurgaon and Mumbai, as my daughter aged 19 is staying in Mumbai and I am paying rent for both the locations. My annual Basic is 17.8 lacs and HRA is 10.65 lacs.

Ans: hi,
Yes Income Tax department has allowed deduction of HRA for 2 eligible houses provided you should have proper records for validation like rent receipts, actual payment details etc.
And eligible amount of HRA calculation is based on your Rent paid, Basic Salary, period of tenancy & Location of houses.

See more questions »

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