I am 17, in college and sometimes skip lectures because they feel repetitive or unhelpful, but my parents expect 100 per cent attendance. When they find out, it leads to arguments and lectures about discipline and responsibility. They feel that skipping classes means I am becoming careless. My grades are decent if not great. But it leads to comparison with peers who I don't relate to. How do I explain my perspective and still maintain trust with my parents?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
if you have felt it, I am sure that it must be true BUT hey, you can't change the past, right?
So by confronting your parents, what exactly are you trying to get at?
- their apology?
OR
- having them re-parent you in a new way?
A
Accept your past...accept that your parents did what they could even if it was 'not right'...accept that that's what they knew even if it was emotionally robbing you...
And you know what this acceptance gives you in return?
- A sense of peace
- A space that helps you to move on
- A reason for you to overcome similar challenges that you are facing or might face in the future

Whatever happens always lets us grow and evolve. If you stay stuck in the past and find time to blame your parents, then you will have no motive to live for the moment and have no time to build a future that is seemingly bright for you. Move on...

All the best!

Ans: From what you’ve shared, this isn’t just a one-time struggle. It’s a pattern where your desires and emotional connections are consistently overruled by parental control. That doesn’t just impact your relationships—it chips away at your autonomy, your confidence in making life decisions, and ultimately, your sense of self.

Let’s take a step back. It sounds like your parents operate from a space of fear, control, or perhaps even cultural conditioning—believing they know what’s “best” for you, even when that means disregarding your emotions. But here’s the truth: you are the one who has to live with the choices made in your life. Not them. You’re not doing something wrong by loving someone. You’re not “disobedient” because you want a say in your own future.

That being said, when you’ve grown up in a strict household, especially where obedience is confused with love, it can be incredibly hard to assert your independence without feeling crushing guilt or fear. But you need to ask yourself: What kind of life will I have if I continue to silence my heart to please others?

This doesn’t mean you need to make a drastic decision right away. But you do need to begin slowly reclaiming your emotional power. Start by asking: do I want to live in a way that makes others comfortable but leaves me emotionally unfulfilled? Or do I want to begin building the courage to live life on my own terms, even if it means disappointing people?

Your education is important, yes—but love and education are not mutually exclusive. Healthy relationships can actually support your growth, help you manage stress, and increase your emotional resilience. If your boyfriend is kind, supportive, and genuinely wants to see you thrive, that’s a blessing, not a burden.

One path you might consider is gradually building emotional boundaries with your parents—not out of rebellion, but from a place of self-respect. That might look like choosing not to share every personal detail with them, or gently but firmly asserting that your relationship is your private choice. It might mean seeking financial or emotional independence so that your choices aren't controlled by fear of what they’ll do or say.

It won’t be easy—but here’s the truth: choosing yourself doesn’t mean you don’t love your parents. It means you also love yourself.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Most often parents disregard or are unhappy with the company that their children keep when:
- you stay out of home late and eat out mostly
- you ignore responsibilities at home which includes cleaning your room
- your behavior has begun to change negatively towards studies, relatives, family
- your priorities has begun to change due to late night chatting and constantly being on social media

Now, I wonder if there's any other reason; you know that better. So, keep a check on your studies and home, maintain a balance and there's no reason why your parents will get at you. Try bringing your friends home, so that they can assess for themselves if what they have been imagining about them is fair or not.
Focus on what's important at your age; friends and social media are just pieces of your life and not your entire world.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/