Is 16 too young to date? I am in first year of college, and I like meeting someone during weekends. He's my childhood friend who has known me since I was 7. But my parents believe that relationships are a distraction and should only happen after marriage. Because of this, I hide things from them, which makes me feel guilty and stressed too. I want honesty but I know how my parents will react if I tell them who I meet. How should I deal with my relationship while living with parents? Is it a crime to meet and share your feelings?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What do you mean by a serious relationship? If you mean you want to start planning a future with your "partner", I'd say no. You will be setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak. Plus, you are too young to have a "serious relationship" and spend the best days of your life trying to nurture something that probably won't last.

If you want to hold hands and go to a movie, please go ahead. There's nothing wrong, but be safe. Let your parents know where you are at all times. You might think you know how the world works and what's best for you, but trust me (the adult) there's a lot you don't understand yet and that makes these your best days.

Having said it all, no matter what I say, you will start falling for people at this age, which will lead to heartbreaks. I will only suggest you focus on your studies and don't compromise on them for anyone no matter how much you think you love them.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I strongly suggest you not even remotely consider running away. While it may seem romantic initially, the harsh reality sets in, and the aftermath can be less than ideal. I acknowledge that you have a loving partner and envision a future together, and I also understand that convincing your parents might pose challenges, but I believe you will find a way to persuade them in due time. But eloping isn't the best way to start a life. It comes with its own set of difficulties.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that maintaining a relationship when parents disapprove can be very tricky. But you must also understand that their worries come from love for you; you might be an adult but you are still their child. Having said that, let's see some practical ways to deal with this-
- Understanding what's worrying them can help you give them a solution that might work in your favor. Their concerns can stem from cultural expectations. They might be concerned about your safety. Figuring out their concern will help you better navigate the situation.
- Communicate your feelings. Don't get mad when they express their opinions. It won't help your case. Find the right time to discuss this with your parents. And make them feel heard. Their concerns can give you a new perspective too.
- Highlight your partner's positive traits like his academic achievements. And focus on your studies too. If your parents see that he is a positive influence on you, they might reconsider their stand.
- When the time is right, introduce him to your parents. Seeing him in person will humanize him.
- Strike a balance. Your relationship should not interfere with your relationship with your parents or hamper your studies.

Most importantly, be patient. These things take time. You are too young to be so bothered.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are 44! Take your life in your own hands and is it necessary for you to tell your mother what you are up to?
If you are tired of being treated like a teenager, why are living under the same roof like a teenager does? - This should answer most of your questions and give you a way forward.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: 1. It is wonderful you have met someone special and in last 10 months you have met him 15 times which averages to meeting him 1.5 times a month. Is it possible to increase this and meet over every second weekend. Can you both travel once.

2. Parents are parents they worry and all parents are protective of their children as are yours. But if they are declining you because of caste etc then please question them asking them to give you an assurance that if they marry you to someone of their choice things will work - In reality there can be no assurance given for any relationship - found by you or introduced by parents as relationships need work by both...both need to grow up, both of you need to be happy individuals for relationship to work + if colleges were the deciding factor then we would not see divorces of those who married in the same caste or are from Stanford, MIT, IIT, IIMs, Inseads of the world.

Here is a suggestion/ recommendation
- meet his family
- get him to meet your parents
- let both set of parents meet

all the best