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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 26, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2025
Relationship

It's been three months I got married. My wife is a financial analyst in a company (working from home) . I am myself having WHF job. She was earlier doing WFO in gurgaon and now i she is facing some difficulty due to env change. We live with my parents in our hometown and there is always some small things ongoing amongst the family members. What should I do? How to balance between my mother and my wife

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your mother and wife are grown-ups; let them sort their issues themselves...and make this known to them that you will not interfere or take sides. Once you step in to play the referee, that will be your permanent role...So, set stage right now with a clarity on the fact that their relationship is unique and they need to make it work their way.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |606 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 23, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Because of my mother my married life is falling apart.. my mother does something purposely which hurts my wife and then quarrel starts. I pleaded my mother not to do so many times but she doesn't understand what we are loosing. I don't want to loose any of them family. Pls advice what should I do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're facing such a challenging situation. Balancing relationships with both your mother and your spouse can be difficult, but it's essential to find a way to create harmony. Here's some advice on how to handle this situation:

Communication: Open, honest, and empathetic communication is crucial. Sit down with your mother and your spouse separately and discuss the issue. Let them both know how much you care about them and the impact their conflicts are having on your life.
Set Boundaries: Clearly define boundaries with your mother and your spouse. Discuss what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Make it clear that you expect respect and kindness toward one another.
Counseling or Mediation: If direct communication doesn't resolve the issue, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family therapist or counselor, to mediate the conversation. They can provide guidance and facilitate a constructive dialogue.
Prioritize Your Spouse: Your spouse should be your primary concern when it comes to your immediate family. Make sure your wife knows that you support her and are taking her concerns seriously.
Support Your Mother's Transition: If your mother's actions are rooted in a sense of loss or fear of losing you, reassure her that you still love her and that your relationship with your spouse doesn't diminish your love for her.
Time and Patience: Resolving family conflicts can take time. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to mend the relationships.
Self-Reflection: Reflect on your role in the situation and ensure you are not unintentionally contributing to the conflicts. Sometimes, small changes in your behavior can make a big difference.
Establish Separate Boundaries: If necessary, you might consider setting boundaries that involve keeping your mother and spouse apart if they can't peacefully coexist.
Remember, it's crucial to strike a balance and prioritize your spouse and immediate family. While maintaining a relationship with your mother is important, your marital relationship should come first. Seek professional help if the situation doesn't improve, as a therapist can provide guidance tailored to your specific circumstances.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
HI mam, i am 55 year old married staying with wife & two daughters & i am earning a good salary, no loans nothing & we can live happily. My wife bit under educated ( 12 std) & she has some health issues also (arthritis from past one year) & getting treatment. We are living separately from my parents from the past 17 years. My wife does not like my mother ( 80 years with old age health issues) coming to my home since my wife commanded by my mother when we were staying with my parents 17 years back. Still she has that old days struggle in her mind & there is a clash between me & my wife whenever my mother comes to my home. So many times I told her to forget all old bad days memories live today's happy life which she never wants to forget. My father passed away 04 years back & my mother comes to my home whenever there is a function or due to health issue stays for hardly about 15-20 days in a year. How to resolve this issue & get back happiness in my family.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I wish it were easy to forget...and it's a matter of choice whether we want to keep the past behind us or bring it again and again in out present moment. If your wife does not choose to keep the past behind, it is going to be a huge nightmare for you and especially you constantly having to mediate between your mother and wife.
Yes, since your mother stays only for a few days with you in a year, it is fair of you to expect your wife to 'adjust'...But she is unwilling, so what do you do?
If you can afford to keep your mother in a separate room and have someone care for her just for those 20 days, it will keep your wife away and having to do anything with your mother. So, your mother's needs are taken care of AND your wife has nothing to do with her.
You cannot force anyone to like someone else and that's what is happening at your home. Your wife has her reasons and your mother would have had hers when she was playing the active role of a mother-in-law. Let bygones be bygones. You want your mother to be treated well for that short time in your home; then give her just that...But without expecting that your wife is going to agree to anything. Instead, do what you need to for your ageing mother but keep your wife off the responsibility...That should keep both sides satisfied...
Life is filled with curve balls; you just learn to navigate then better every time...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi dear Anu Krishna Madam, I am a regular reader of your suggestions and answers on the questions of relationships since long. You are doing a great work to solve the complications of people's life. I have a long story actually, thanks to you in advance for your patience in reading this. I am male 36 YO, married and having a 4 YO daughter. Mandatory to mention here that I have mother who is dependent on me financially as my father passed away years ago. My relationship with my not been since starting as we got married in 2015. She is having serious anger issues and starts fighting on even little things. She is not very inclined to my mother and my younger sister who got married in 2018 and staying in UK with her husband. My wife is always complaining for one thing or the other. I am working for Central Government and earning well but she is never satisfied and keeps on complaining that my brother in law (sister's husband) is better husband or sometimes compare with other men. I always to fulfil all the requirements financially as well as taking care of baby, helping in household chores but she is never a happy woman. I send my mother and amount of Rs 10000 per month as no one is there to take care of her, mother stays at our hometown and I along with my wife and daughter stays at my work place city. I had to finance the marriage of my younger sister also as my father passed away when the both of us siblings were of age 7 and 3, this was told before my marriage to the family of wife as well as her that this will be required to be managed by me financially. But she complains of this also that I have spent this much money on my sister and mother. I am earning from a young age of 18 years but I don't find any peace at home. I am working like a machine, earning and then she is saying bad things to me all the time. She shouts loudly when fighting so that neighbours also listen and I find it very shameful. Her behaviour towards our daughter also changes frequently and she treats her according to her mood. My mother is not staying with us as when she stayed here for 6-8 months due to her health related issues, she started fighting with my mother also and created huge scenes every now and then. My wife's only attachment is with her own family, her mother, father, unmarried elder sister and unmarried elder brother. Her both the siblings couldn't find suitable matches for themselves, this is also creating a stress for my wife and she in the end throws her frustration on me. She and my self have both tried to commit suicide 2-3 times in the fight on different occasions. Last year she met a younger boy of age 26-27 and they both got attracted to each other. I was along with her and I noticed them smiling at each other at a function. I asked my wife and said to her that if you want to you can ask and talk to that boy. Means I told her to have an open marriage, in the hope that this will atleast make her realise that my husband is happy in my happiness. They both started talking and even met on 3-4 occasions and 2-3 of them secret meetings at our home (only i knew that I didn't pointed out) with physical intimacy. Now due to some unknown reason both my wife and that boy are not talking to each other. Her behaviour had been very rude since that boy came to her life and she never realised that my husband is not pointing out this infidelity also. Now, when that boy is also not there, her disrespect towards me is increasing day by day. She starts fighting even at streets and shouting loudly. I have also given a thought for legal separation but due to my daughter I am not going ahead. I am in a very complex situation and don't understand what to do. How i can make her understand that relationship runs on two people. Please guide me further. One more thing to mention here she is not interested to go for councelling or anything like that. Thanks in advance. Regards.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife is perhaps one of those people who choose to see what's not happening rather than what good is actually happening. It's just a habit that can destroy their peace of mind and of those around them.
You are caught around her drama where she tries to find her happiness all around her when she can perfectly find it within the marriage. So, if there's something small that upsets her at home or does not go according to the way she thinks it should, instead of talking about it to you, she is someone who will find a way out outside and in things that can instantly make her feel better. That 27-year-old has ended up becoming some sort of a distraction and by you allowing it to go further whatever happens or doesn't will be blamed on you.
She's acting like a child in need of attention, incapable of addressing her own emotions, distracting herself with a new toy and then crying out creating drama around it all and oh, blaming you when things go wrong.
Got the picture, here? So, the way out is to actually take her to a professional who can guide her to regulate her thoughts an =d actually infuse her back into a family system. It's possible that her maternal home did not provide a great example in this regard...you might know better...
You can try and get through to her by requesting her to step in for your child's sake else the marriage can deteriorate further...So, give it a try.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6464 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Career
Sir igot 444 and AIQ is 131279 iam obc ncl (kerala) there is any possibilities for BDS in government college.
Ans: Nibla, A NEET score of 444 falls below the typical marks cutoff for OBC-NCL candidates seeking BDS in government dental colleges, where qualifying marks range between 520–540 for OBC students. Similarly, All India BDS closing ranks under the 15 percent AIQ for OBC rarely exceed 35,000, whereas your AIQ rank is 131,279, placing you far outside the viable admission range. Nationwide only about 3,000 government BDS seats exist, and premier institutions such as SCB Dental College (Cuttack), Government Dental College (Bangalore), and Tamil Nadu Government Dental College (Chennai) closed with AIQ ranks under 30,000 for OBC. Under Kerala’s 85 percent state quota, Government Dental College, Thiruvananthapuram admitted OBC candidates with ranks up to 51,595 in earlier years, while Kottayam and Kannur closed within similar state-rank brackets, implying state ranks must be substantially lower than your AIQ conversion would yield. Consequently, securing a BDS seat in a government college appears highly unlikely. Consider prioritising private or deemed dental colleges with lower cutoffs and participating in both AIQ and state counselling to maximise admission options. Recommendation: Focus on private or deemed dental institutions, as government quota thresholds exceed reachable marks and ranks. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6464 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2025
Career
Which university is good among VIT, AMRITA AND SRM?
Ans: VIT Vellore maintains a 90–95% placement rate across the last three years, facilitated by 632–945 recruiters visiting annually and yielding over 3,300 super-dream (≥10 LPA) and 2,800 dream (≥6 LPA) offers in 2024, with a median package near ?9 LPA and strong tech-sector engagement from companies like Microsoft, Amazon and TCS. Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham Coimbatore records 90–100% placement consistency for its BTech cohorts, supported by 300+ recruiters including IBM, Wipro and Cognizant, with median salaries around ?7.75 LPA and emphasis on internships and research projects embedding industry standards early in the curriculum. SRM Chennai’s flagship Kattankulathur campus posts 85–90% placement rates over three years, hosting 980–1,313 recruiters and generating 5,500–9,000 offers annually, with average packages around ?7.2 LPA and core-engineering roles from Cognizant, Infosys and Ford. VIT leads in high-value dream offers and recruiter diversity, Amrita excels in top-end consistency and academic rigor, and SRM offers broad sectoral reach with strong core engineering streams.

Recommendation: Prioritise VIT Vellore for maximum high-value offer volume and expansive recruiter network, choose Amrita Coimbatore for nearly universal placement consistency and integrated research opportunities, and consider SRM Chennai if core engineering exposure and diverse sectoral hiring are primary goals. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8931 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2025
Money
Hello Sir, I want to redeem a mutual fund to reduce number of fund in my portfolio. This fund is of 5% allocation of my total portfolio and has not beaten the benchmark. I want to how to reinvest this redeemed amount to another MF, should I do SIP or lumpsum. Will lumpsum investment at current market effect the return or I should invest lumpsum without timing the market. My investment horizon is for 15 years. Also will this effect the compounding
Ans: You are thinking in the right direction. Streamlining your mutual fund portfolio is a smart move. Managing fewer, better-performing funds will help you get more focused growth.

You are planning to redeem a fund that has underperformed. That shows your awareness as an investor. Let us now look at the right way to reinvest the amount. Your investment horizon is long—15 years—which is an advantage.

Let us evaluate every angle in detail.

Why It’s Okay to Exit an Underperforming Fund
You mentioned this fund has only 5% weight in your portfolio. It has not beaten its benchmark. That’s a clear red flag.

Reasons to exit:

Fund not beating benchmark for 3 years or more

Fund manager or strategy changed

Poor consistency in performance

Other funds doing better in same category

Selling such funds is wise. It makes your portfolio clean and growth-focused.

One bad performer can pull down overall return. Removing it improves portfolio efficiency.

You made a good decision.

Where to Reinvest the Redeemed Amount
After selling, your goal is to reinvest in another mutual fund. Let us plan it properly.

You asked whether to do SIP or lumpsum. Both are useful, but must be used wisely.

First, identify where this money should go.

What type of fund should you choose:

If your existing fund mix is strong, add to an existing winner

Or choose a new fund with consistent 5-year and 10-year track record

Choose only actively managed funds, not index funds

Why avoid index funds:

Index funds copy the market without intelligence

They fall when the market falls. No protection

No chance to beat benchmark

Passive nature reduces wealth-building capacity

Fund manager has no freedom to select better stocks

Actively managed funds give you:

Expert decision-making

Freedom to shift between sectors

Better downside protection

Superior long-term results in Indian market

So always prefer actively managed mutual funds via regular plans.

SIP vs Lumpsum: Which One is Better?
Let us now come to your main question.

You want to know how to reinvest the amount. SIP or lumpsum?

Your investment horizon is 15 years. This is very long. So you can take equity exposure fully.

Still, timing matters when investing lumpsum.

Let us assess both methods side by side:

When Lumpsum Makes Sense
Lumpsum means investing full amount at once. It works in these conditions:

Market is already corrected or trading low

You are not emotionally affected by short-term falls

You will stay invested for full 15 years

You have chosen a good fund with strong past record

You don’t need this money for short-term goals

Benefits of lumpsum in long-term:

Full compounding starts from day one

Money is fully exposed to market

No waiting time, no idle money

Higher returns if market performs well after entry

But don’t forget, lumpsum needs mental stability.

What if market falls after lumpsum?

You may feel anxious

You may exit early due to fear

Short-term losses can affect your patience

That’s why timing does affect short-term performance. But not long-term growth if you stay invested for 15 years.

When SIP is Better
SIP is the habit of investing every month.

Even for lumpsum amounts, you can do STP (Systematic Transfer Plan).

STP means:

Keep the lump amount in liquid fund

Transfer fixed amount every month into the equity fund

Example: Rs. 50,000 per month for 6–10 months

Why STP is useful:

Reduces risk of market timing

Avoids investing entire amount at peak

Keeps you emotionally stable

Avoids regret in case of short-term correction

Creates smoother entry into equity

Use STP when:

Market is at all-time highs

Volatility is increasing

You are not sure about market direction

You want peace of mind during investment

So, STP is a balanced way to invest lump amounts.

Will Lumpsum Affect Compounding?
This is an important question.

Let us understand compounding clearly.

Compounding depends on:

Time invested

Return generated

Amount invested

Whether you do lumpsum or SIP, the key is how long money stays invested.

Lumpsum helps compounding start early. SIP creates compounding gradually.

In long term (15 years):

Lumpsum grows faster if invested at right level

SIP grows steadily but reduces entry timing risk

Both will give good results if fund is right

So yes, lumpsum helps compounding better if done at right time.

But STP gives you that benefit with safety.

You get smoother growth and still early compounding.

Ideal Strategy for Your Case
Let us now give you a proper, full-scope recommendation.

Step-by-Step Plan:
Redeem the underperforming fund.

Park the money in a liquid mutual fund (not savings account).

Start a 6-month STP to a high-quality active mutual fund.

Choose the fund after checking its 5-year, 10-year consistency.

Avoid new index funds or ETFs.

Use regular plans through Certified Financial Planner channel.

After STP ends, monitor that new fund every year.

This plan will:

Reduce timing risk

Start compounding early

Bring emotional comfort

Keep your investing smooth

Increase overall return stability

Additional Things to Keep in Mind
Since your money is being shifted, some more factors to remember:

Mutual Fund Capital Gains Tax Rules (Updated):

Equity fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%

STCG (below 1 year) taxed at 20%

These are recent rules. Plan redemptions smartly

Avoid frequent switches to reduce tax impact

Emotional Behaviour Risk:

Do not panic if market dips during STP

Do not stop investing after seeing short-term fall

Compounding works best when you do not interrupt

Yearly Review Required:

Check your fund’s performance yearly

Compare with peers in same category

Use this to decide future additions or redemptions

Work with a CFP to do regular health check-up of portfolio

Finally
You are thinking smart. Trimming funds and reallocating is a sign of maturity.

But always shift money with a goal and method.

Use these steps:

Avoid underperforming and index funds

Reinvest using STP into active mutual funds

Prefer regular plans with CFP guidance

Let money stay invested for full 15 years

Don't check NAV daily. Focus on yearly growth

Review fund quality yearly

Avoid timing the market too much

Stick with this method and your wealth will grow steadily.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6464 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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