Divorced woman, 40, regrets physical involvement with younger tenant, seeks advice

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It must surely be shocking BUT over the years I am sure you would have felt it all slipping away...
He's just in the marriage with no great emotional connect with you; I don't know how he's with the children.
Knowing that over the years, he has not any great attempt to work on the marriage and bond with his family, do you feel that he is going to do that in the future?
Rather than 'BEG' for his time and attention, what if you started to focus on yourself and your children and start afresh? He's anyway living elsewhere...can you take this opportunity and actually figure out what you want from life, from your marriage?
Are you willing to be unsettled like the way you are now even 10 years from now?
A few answers will hit you hard; BUT don't waste anymore time waiting and watching for someone to accept you. It maybe an endless wait-game.
Of course, you do have an option of asking an elder member of the family to step in and intervene and hope that he will have a change of heart. But, be prepared to take a strong stance where required. He's doing this even more as he realizes that you are weak and won't object and 'anything goes' with you.
NO, it doesn't, right? Then buck up and speak for yourself. Whatever it is, come from a place of strength. Try the route of familial intervention first and then a lot will be clear as the way forward for you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation you're facing. Dealing with a tenant who is uncooperative and has disappeared can be quite challenging, especially when urgent medical needs are involved. Here's a step-by-step approach to handle the situation effectively:

Understanding Your Agreement
Firstly, review your rental agreement thoroughly. Pay special attention to clauses related to eviction, notice periods, and tenant obligations. This will guide your actions and ensure you remain within legal boundaries.

Sending an Eviction Notice
Given the tenant's behavior and your urgent need, issuing an eviction notice is the right step. Here’s how to proceed:

Draft the Notice: The eviction notice should be clear and precise. Include the following details:

Tenant’s name and address
Reason for eviction (e.g., non-payment of rent, breach of contract)
The date by which the tenant should vacate the property
Reference to the specific clauses of the agreement being violated
Signature and date
Legal Considerations: In India, a minimum notice period is usually stipulated in the rental agreement. If not specified, a 30-day notice is typically considered reasonable. However, consult with a lawyer to ensure compliance with local laws.

Serving the Notice
Personal Delivery: If possible, deliver the notice personally. Ensure you have a witness present during delivery. This could be a neighbor or a friend.

Registered Post: If personal delivery is not possible, send the notice via registered post with acknowledgment due. This ensures there is a record of delivery.

Legal Recourse
If the tenant does not vacate after the notice period, you may need to initiate legal proceedings. Here’s what you can do:

Consult a Lawyer: Engage a lawyer who specializes in rental disputes. They can guide you through the process of filing an eviction suit.

File a Case: The lawyer will help you file an eviction suit in the appropriate court. This process can take time, so it’s essential to act promptly.

Court Order: If the court rules in your favor, they will issue an eviction order. The police can then assist in evicting the tenant if necessary.

Handling the Locked Flat
Given that you don’t have a duplicate key and the tenant is unreachable, you may need to take additional steps:

Legal Permission: Before attempting to access the flat, get legal permission. Unauthorized entry can lead to legal complications.

Police Assistance: If you have a court order, the police can assist in gaining access to the flat. They can also help ensure that the process is smooth and without conflict.

Addressing Urgent Medical Needs
Since your father’s medical needs are urgent, consider alternative financial arrangements while the eviction process is underway:

Loans: Explore options for a personal loan or a medical loan. Many banks offer these with quick disbursement.

Family Support: Seek financial support from family or friends temporarily until the property is sold.

Insurance: If you have any health insurance policies, check if they cover the medical procedures required.

Future Precautions
To avoid similar situations in the future, consider these precautions:

Tenant Screening: Conduct thorough background checks on prospective tenants. Verify their employment, check references, and ensure their credibility.

Clear Agreements: Ensure your rental agreements are clear and legally sound. Include clauses for regular inspections and maintenance visits.

Duplicate Keys: Always keep a duplicate key for the flat. This ensures you have access if the tenant becomes uncooperative.

Genuine Compliments and Empathy
Your proactive approach to solving this issue is commendable. It’s not easy to handle such stressful situations, especially with urgent medical needs. Your concern for your father’s health shows your dedication and love.

Final Insights
Handling a difficult tenant requires patience and legal guidance. Issue an eviction notice, consult a lawyer, and follow legal procedures to regain possession of your flat. Simultaneously, explore financial options for your father’s medical needs. Being proactive and seeking professional help will ensure a smoother resolution.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

Ans: You seem to be engaging with lawyers - they will guide you on what to do and you are not filing any false care...by the look of it, he has not been a nice human.