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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2026

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 26 years of experience in MF distribution and wealth management. He holds an MBA in Finance from the University of Madras and is a CFP (Certified Financial Planner) credentialed professional. He is the Director of Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based AMFI-registered Mutual Fund Distribution (ARN-4188) and APMI-registered PMS Distribution firm (APRN07386), helping clients build long-term wealth through mutual funds and other investment solutions.... more
Ambalathvee Question by Ambalathvee on Jul 15, 2026
Money

Hi, i would like to seek your advice how to pursue my retired expat life. i am 49 years old and i have 2 crores and some lands however there is no passive income. Can you please guide me a for a passive income and i should have some savings for my daughters' weddings. Can you please guide me where to invest or how to achieve my target ? Daughter ages are 12 and 11 respectively. I need to receive my savings back after 10 years. Please can you guide me.

Ans: You have already built a good financial base with Rs.2 crore and land assets. At 49, your focus should now shift from wealth creation to wealth preservation, regular passive income, and meeting future family goals. Since your daughters are still young, you also have enough time to plan their education and weddings in a disciplined way.

» Your Current Position

– Age is 49 years.
– Retirement corpus of around Rs.2 crore.
– Additional land assets.
– No regular passive income.
– Two daughters aged 12 and 11.
– Need capital back after about 10 years.
– Need funds for daughters' weddings.
– Looking for stable retirement income.

Your biggest challenge is not lack of wealth. It is converting wealth into reliable cash flow.

» Create Separate Buckets

Instead of keeping the entire money together, divide it based on purpose.

– Emergency reserve.
– Monthly passive income.
– Daughter's wedding corpus.
– Long-term growth to beat inflation.

This gives better control and reduces stress.

» Plan for Monthly Passive Income

Since there is no regular income now, allocate part of your corpus into investments that can generate periodic cash flow.

– Keep enough money in low-risk investments for regular withdrawals.
– Invest the balance in well-managed diversified mutual funds for long-term growth.
– Use a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) only after allowing the investments some time to grow, if suitable.
– Avoid chasing very high returns.

This approach gives both income and long-term wealth growth.

» Plan for Your Daughters

You have nearly 10 years before wedding expenses.

– Keep this money invested separately.
– Invest mainly in diversified equity-oriented mutual funds initially.
– Slowly shift towards safer investments as the wedding date comes closer.
– Avoid using retirement money for wedding expenses at the last minute.

Keeping separate investments avoids disturbing your retirement plan.

» Protect Your Retirement Corpus

Your retirement corpus should continue working for you.

– Avoid investing the entire amount in fixed-income products.
– Keep a balanced allocation between equity and debt mutual funds.
– Review the portfolio once every year.
– Rebalance whenever equity becomes too high or too low.

This helps manage risk while keeping inflation under control.

» Review Your Land Investments

Land can add to your wealth.

But it usually does not provide regular income.

– Keep only if there is good long-term potential.
– Avoid depending on land for retirement cash flow.
– If any land remains idle for years, review whether it still serves your overall financial goals.

» Risk Management

Your investment plan should also protect your family.

– Maintain adequate health insurance.
– Ensure sufficient life insurance only if someone depends on your income.
– Prepare a proper Will.
– Keep nominations updated in every investment.

These small steps protect your family's future.

» Tax Planning

– Plan withdrawals carefully to improve tax efficiency.
– Equity mutual fund gains above Rs.1.25 lakh in a financial year attract 12.5% long-term capital gains tax.
– Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
– Review withdrawals every year instead of making large sudden withdrawals.

Proper planning can reduce unnecessary tax outgo.

» Finally

– Keep retirement and daughters' goals completely separate.
– Build a stable passive income instead of searching for very high returns.
– Use diversified mutual funds with suitable debt allocation for balance.
– Review the portfolio annually.
– Increase safety gradually as your daughters' wedding dates approach.
– Work with an experienced Investment professional who is an AMFI-registered MFD for regular reviews and disciplined execution.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
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Money
Iam 43 years old working in private Arts and Science college located in Chennai as Assistant professor. I have two daughters. I want save more money for daughters future. My salary also less. Kindly suggest me a passive income...
Ans: Creating Passive Income for Your Daughters' Future

As a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), I admire your dedication to securing your daughters' future despite financial constraints. Here's a strategy to help you generate passive income for their benefit.

Understanding Your Goals and Constraints

Your commitment to your daughters' future is commendable. Given your salary limitations, it's essential to explore avenues for passive income that align with your financial capabilities and long-term objectives.

Investing in Mutual Funds for Wealth Accumulation

Mutual funds offer an accessible and efficient way to invest in diversified portfolios of stocks, bonds, or a combination of both. By systematically investing in mutual funds, you can accumulate wealth over time and generate passive income through various strategies.

Utilizing Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) for Passive Income

Once you've accumulated a substantial corpus in mutual funds, you can implement a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) to generate regular income. SWP allows you to withdraw a predetermined amount at regular intervals, providing a steady stream of passive income to support your daughters' future needs.

Emphasizing Long-Term Investment Horizon

Given your daughters' future goals, it's essential to adopt a long-term investment approach. By staying invested in mutual funds for an extended period, you can benefit from the power of compounding and potentially maximize returns over time.

Diversifying Across Asset Classes and Fund Categories

Diversification is key to managing risk and enhancing returns. Consider investing in a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds to achieve a balanced portfolio tailored to your risk tolerance and investment objectives. This diversification can help mitigate volatility and provide stability to your investment portfolio.

Seeking Professional Guidance for Optimal Results

As a CFP, I recommend consulting with a qualified financial advisor or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a CFP credential to design a customized investment strategy aligned with your daughters' future needs. Professional guidance can help you navigate market fluctuations and make informed decisions to achieve your financial goals.

Ensuring Regular Review and Adjustment

Regularly reviewing your investment portfolio is essential to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and evolving circumstances. Periodic adjustments may be necessary to optimize returns, manage risk, and adapt to changing market conditions.

Building a Secure Future for Your Daughters

In conclusion, by investing systematically in mutual funds and implementing a SWP strategy, you can generate passive income to support your daughters' future aspirations. With careful planning and professional guidance, you can build a secure financial future for them despite your salary limitations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am an NRI moved back to India. I have farmhouse and farm with 12 acres (no income now and building with agroforestry and permaculture concepts - invested about 2 crore ) , a landed property worth 85 to 90 lacs, cash of about 6 crores. Having a job with salary of 78 lacs per anum. My expenses would be 2 lacs per month and wanted to keep aside 1 crore for my son's higher education ( in 9th grade now and may go to overseas for studies). How can generate passive income with less risk investments and plan to retire may be in 4 years. Right now i am 42
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Situation
You have a diversified asset base including a farmhouse, land, cash reserves, and a well-paying job.

You also have significant expenses and plans for your son's education.

Planning for Education
Set aside Rs. 1 crore in a safe, low-risk investment for your son's education.

Consider options like fixed deposits, debt funds, or bonds.

Generating Passive Income
Passive income can be generated through various low-risk investments.

Fixed Deposits: They offer stable returns with low risk.

Debt Mutual Funds: These funds invest in bonds and fixed income securities.

Government Bonds: Safe and provide fixed returns.

Monthly Income Needs
You need Rs. 2 lakhs per month for expenses.

This translates to Rs. 24 lakhs per year.

Income from Investments
To generate Rs. 24 lakhs annually, invest in low-risk options.

Assume an average return of 6%.

You need a corpus of Rs. 4 crores invested at 6% to generate Rs. 24 lakhs per year.

Allocation of Rs. 6 Crores
You have Rs. 6 crores in cash.

Step 1: Set aside Rs. 1 crore for your son's education.

Step 2: Invest Rs. 4 crores in low-risk options to generate passive income.

Step 3: Keep Rs. 1 crore as an emergency fund.

Investment Options
Fixed Deposits: Safe, offer guaranteed returns.

Debt Mutual Funds: Diversified and managed by professionals.

Government Bonds: Very safe with assured returns.

Balanced Approach
A combination of fixed deposits, debt mutual funds, and government bonds balances safety and returns.

Professional Guidance
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures professional management.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Time-Consuming: Direct funds need constant monitoring.

Lack of Guidance: Without expert advice, you may miss crucial opportunities.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Professional Management: Regular funds are managed by experts.

Convenience: Saves time and provides professional insights.

Preparing for Retirement
You plan to retire in 4 years at age 46.

Ensure your investments generate enough passive income.

Inflation Consideration
Factor in inflation while planning for future expenses.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund of at least Rs. 1 crore.

This provides financial security against unforeseen circumstances.

Tax Planning
Consider tax implications of your investments.

Tax-Free Bonds: Offer tax-free returns.

Debt Funds: More tax-efficient compared to fixed deposits.

Regular Review
Review your portfolio regularly with a CFP.

Conclusion
Your financial situation is strong with diverse assets and income sources.

Focus on low-risk investments to generate passive income.

Plan for your son's education and maintain an emergency fund.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Money
Hi I am 35 yrs old. My net salary is 2.4 lakh monthly. I want passive income after 58 age 1.5 lakh monthly. Can you advise changes in current plans if any. Sip 40k mtly 10lkh balance, nps 1 lakh yrly, fd 12 lakh, apy 12k yrly, EPF 20k mtly 10 lakh balance, ppf 3 lakh yrly 12 lakh balance, lic premium 1.5 lakh yrly 2013 onwards. Home loan outstanding 22 lakh with emi 28k.
Ans: . You are saving regularly and have built a strong base. Let’s now analyse your current structure and give a full 360-degree plan to reach your goal of Rs 1.5 lakh monthly passive income after age 58.

? Income, EMI and Surplus Calculation

– Net salary is Rs 2.4 lakh monthly.
– EMI for home loan is Rs 28,000 per month.
– After EMI, you are left with Rs 2.12 lakh.
– You invest around Rs 75,000 to Rs 80,000 monthly.
– You still have good surplus every month.

– This can be used to strengthen long-term goals.

? Review of Existing Investments

SIP: Rs 40,000 per month. Balance is Rs 10 lakh.

EPF: Rs 20,000 monthly. Corpus is Rs 10 lakh.

PPF: Rs 3 lakh per year. Corpus is Rs 12 lakh.

NPS: Rs 1 lakh yearly. Current balance not stated.

APY: Rs 12,000 per year.

FD: Rs 12 lakh.

LIC Policy: Rs 1.5 lakh per year since 2013.

– You have a well-diversified mix, which is good.
– But few investments need correction and adjustment.

? Review of LIC Policy

– You are paying Rs 1.5 lakh yearly since 2013.
– This is 12 years now. Total premium paid is around Rs 18 lakh.

– Such policies offer low returns. Typically 4% to 5% only.
– They mix insurance and investment. That is inefficient.

– Suggest you stop future premiums immediately.
– Surrender if surrender value is available now.
– Reinvest that amount in mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

– A regular plan through MFD with CFP support offers guidance and review.
– Direct plan lacks monitoring and goal-based support.

? SIP Portfolio Assessment

– Rs 40,000 monthly SIP is a great habit.
– You are already building a strong retirement corpus.
– Continue these SIPs for the next 23 years without fail.

– Increase SIPs by 10% every year as income grows.
– Equity mutual funds give compounding benefit over time.

– Avoid index funds. They mirror the market, offer no flexibility.
– Actively managed funds perform better over the long term.

? EPF and PPF Role in Retirement

– EPF and PPF give safety and tax-free maturity.
– EPF also offers retirement stability and monthly interest.
– PPF gives long-term safety with lock-in.

– Continue both regularly. Don’t stop them.
– Combined, they will support the debt portion of retirement corpus.

? NPS and APY Analysis

– NPS is tax efficient and useful for retirement.
– However, its withdrawal rules are strict.
– You can withdraw only 60% at retirement.
– Remaining 40% must go to annuity.

– Annuity gives very poor returns post-retirement.
– Still, continue with minimum contributions to NPS.

– Avoid increasing allocation to NPS.
– Invest more in mutual funds instead.

– APY is a small pension scheme.
– It will give very limited benefit.
– Don’t depend on it for your retirement.

? FD Positioning in Portfolio

– You have Rs 12 lakh in FD.
– Keep Rs 4 lakh to Rs 5 lakh as emergency fund.
– Remaining can be moved to better performing options.

– FDs give low returns and are fully taxable.
– Shift the rest to short-term or hybrid mutual funds.

? Home Loan Strategy

– Outstanding loan is Rs 22 lakh. EMI is Rs 28,000.
– It is affordable within your income.
– No urgent need to prepay fully now.

– You can part-pay small amounts yearly.
– Avoid using retirement funds to close this.

– After 5 to 6 years, when the balance is below Rs 10 lakh, consider closing it.

? Target Corpus Needed for Retirement

– You want Rs 1.5 lakh monthly passive income.
– That’s Rs 18 lakh annually.
– You’ll retire at age 58. So, 23 years left.

– Considering inflation and post-retirement life of 30+ years,
– You will need a corpus of around Rs 4 crore to Rs 4.5 crore.
– This must be built by age 58.

– Your current investments are good, but more is needed.

? Suggested Changes in Monthly Allocation

– Continue Rs 40,000 monthly SIP.
– Increase by Rs 5,000 yearly for 5 years.
– Shift LIC premium amount of Rs 1.5 lakh yearly to mutual funds.
– That gives you Rs 12,500 more per month to invest.

– Review the FD and shift surplus above emergency need into hybrid funds.
– Keep EPF and PPF contributions steady.
– Avoid increasing NPS or APY contribution.

? Insurance Planning

– Ensure you have term insurance of at least Rs 1 crore now.
– Increase to Rs 2 crore once you have kids.

– Don’t buy ULIPs or endowment plans again.
– Keep insurance and investment separate always.

– Health insurance should be at least Rs 10 lakh family floater.
– Increase it as medical costs rise.

? How to Reach Rs 1.5 Lakh Passive Income Post-Retirement

– Build a corpus of Rs 4.5 crore over 23 years.
– Equity mutual funds will create the growth portion.
– EPF and PPF will create the safety portion.
– After retirement, split the corpus into growth and withdrawal buckets.

– Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) from debt mutual funds.
– Withdraw smartly each year to save tax.

– LTCG on equity mutual funds above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG taxed at 20%.
– Debt mutual funds taxed as per your slab.
– Plan redemptions carefully with tax in mind.

? Asset Allocation Suggestion

60% equity mutual funds.

30% debt (PPF, EPF, hybrid mutual funds).

10% liquid/emergency corpus.

– Review every year. Rebalance as required.
– Reduce equity portion slowly 5 years before retirement.
– Move to hybrid and debt for withdrawal safety.

? Role of Certified Financial Planner

– A Certified Financial Planner helps track your goal.
– They adjust your SIPs based on inflation and corpus growth.
– They help review underperforming funds.

– Regular plans through MFD + CFP will give you peace of mind.
– Direct plans don’t offer goal-based support or timely reviews.

? Final Insights

– You are saving well and are highly disciplined.
– But continue SIPs with rising amounts.
– Don’t hold LIC policy any further. Surrender and reinvest.

– Don’t increase NPS contribution. Use mutual funds for flexibility.
– Don’t add more to APY or FDs.
– Do not invest in index funds. They underperform and lack personalisation.

– Build a corpus of Rs 4.5 crore by age 58.
– Review your plan every year with a Certified Financial Planner.
– You are on the right track. Stay consistent and focused.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Money
Hi I am 43 year old. Wants a fixed income of Rs. 3 Lac after 5 - 7 year max at the age of 50 to retire. Currently i am getting in hand salary of 2.70L. My investments two residential floors where one is rented and getting approx 30K rent and one is used for own residence. I am loan free. My daughter is in 11th standard and saving around 25K per month in her account and total balance is approx 10L which i am keeping for her studies. For her marriage having some plots current cost is 50L. Also saving 1L monthly in MF SIPs from one and half year and portfolio is approx 22L. Apart from that having 70L FDs in my senior citizen mother account. My goal is to get retire by the age of 48-50 with a monthly income of 3L in hand. Please guide
Ans: You’ve built a strong base with disciplined saving and zero liabilities. Your clarity about retiring at 48–50 with a fixed monthly income of Rs 3 lakh is very practical if approached with the right asset structure and transition strategy.

Let’s take a complete view to assess and plan your next 5–7 years.

? Income and Savings Snapshot

Current monthly income is Rs 2.7 lakh, which provides decent surplus.

You are saving Rs 1 lakh in mutual funds via SIPs monthly. Very good step.

Rental income adds Rs 30,000 monthly. Passive income like this will be useful post-retirement.

Rs 70 lakh FD in your mother’s name can be a backup or intergenerational support.

Rs 25,000/month set aside for your daughter’s education is commendable. The Rs 10 lakh corpus for her is a solid start.

Rs 50 lakh worth real estate earmarked for her marriage shows thoughtful planning.

? Goal Review: Rs 3 Lakh Fixed Income at 48–50

Retirement goal is clear: generate Rs 3 lakh/month passive income in 5–7 years.

That translates to approx Rs 36 lakh/year, net of tax.

At 48–50, inflation will still be a major factor for next 30+ years of retirement.

You’ll need to build a corpus that can support this income sustainably, without eroding the capital too early.

? Your Existing Asset Summary

Rs 22 lakh in mutual funds. Growing steadily through SIPs.

Rs 70 lakh in mother’s FDs. This may not be fully accessible to you legally unless jointly held or bequeathed.

Rental income asset.

Self-occupied property. Not to be monetised unless downsized.

Daughter’s education and marriage costs already planned. That removes large future outflows.

? Action Plan for Retirement Readiness by 48–50

Maximise Wealth Creation in Next 5–7 Years

Continue your Rs 1 lakh/month SIPs. Try increasing it by 10% annually if possible.

That alone can build a sizeable mutual fund portfolio over the next 6 years.

Don’t pause SIPs. This is your primary wealth creator for retirement.

Allocate Wisely Across Asset Types

Don’t concentrate too much in FDs. FDs protect capital but erode real value after tax and inflation.

Shift some FD surplus (at least Rs 30–35 lakh) gradually into balanced and equity mutual funds.

If your mother doesn’t need the FD interest for her living, this corpus can be used more efficiently.

Build Passive Income Streams

By age 48–50, your mutual fund corpus must be ready to generate monthly income.

At that point, shift some funds to SWP-friendly hybrid or conservative equity mutual funds.

Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) to get fixed income monthly.

Combine this with rental income and strategic FD usage for total Rs 3 lakh/month target.

Example: Rs 30K rent + Rs 50K FD interest + Rs 2.2L SWP = Rs 3L approx.

? Strengthen Contingency and Liquidity

Emergency fund currently sits with your daughter’s education fund.

Maintain a separate 6–9 months of expenses (Rs 5–7 lakh) in liquid mutual funds or sweep FDs.

This gives stability and avoids breaking long-term funds.

? Insurance and Risk Management

Your query didn’t mention term insurance or health insurance.

Ensure you have a term cover till at least 60 years of age.

Health insurance should be minimum Rs 15–20 lakh for self and family.

This will protect your retirement corpus from being used for medical emergencies.

? What Not to Do

Avoid relying heavily on real estate for retirement cash flows.

Property sales are illiquid, and income generation is unpredictable.

Plots should remain earmarked for daughter’s marriage as planned.

Avoid direct equity or index funds at this stage if your knowledge is limited.

Index funds lack flexibility and do not adapt to market phases.

Stick to actively managed mutual funds guided by an MFD with CFP qualification.

Avoid direct plans. Regular plans via a Certified Financial Planner give expert asset allocation and support in downturns.

? Tax Optimisation Strategy Post Retirement

MF withdrawals via SWP are more tax-efficient than FD interest.

STCG in equity MF is taxed at 20%. LTCG beyond Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Debt mutual fund gains will be taxed as per your slab.

Smart withdrawal structuring can keep post-retirement tax low.

Keep rental income under Rs 2.5 lakh/month bracket to avoid higher tax brackets.

? Reassess Daughter’s Education and Marriage Plan

Rs 10 lakh corpus for education should be reviewed annually.

Ensure it is parked in short-duration debt mutual funds or FDs. Not in equity.

For marriage, your plot’s value can be used, but ensure documentation and title clarity.

Prefer not to liquidate this asset early. Avoid attaching it to your retirement needs.

? Your Retirement Corpus Target

Without complex maths, a rough estimate suggests you’ll need at least Rs 5–6 crore.

This assumes you want Rs 3 lakh/month from 48–50 till age 85–90.

Your current SIPs, combined with FDs and rental income, can bridge the gap.

But asset growth, inflation, and reinvestment must be monitored yearly.

? Finally

Your efforts till now are strong. Discipline and vision are clear.

You must now shift focus from accumulating assets to structuring cash flows.

Increase SIPs over time. Reduce dependence on FDs gradually.

Strengthen insurance and keep contingency separate.

Engage a qualified MFD with CFP credentials to track and adjust your retirement corpus regularly.

Rs 3 lakh/month income from age 48–50 is possible if steps are consistent and reviewed yearly.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Hi, I am 58 Yr old Male with 29 yrs into arranged marriage. I have 2 daughters. I am being treated like a stranger in my own house. My wife does not give respect, no value, no love and affection care. Always negatives talking about me for everything. Not listen to any thing regarding family or personal matters. I am not earning much. I am doing my best doing business services. For everything I need basic amount to manage my business until it develops. There is no support for this from my family. Instead of supporting and motivating me, She is always negative about me. She knows I am not earning enough and unable to meet major transactions. She has come from a wealthy family were as I am not. She has helped in providing financial support many times. Now past 3-4 yrs, her behavior has changed. She taunts and blames me for she providing the financial support. Whatever she has provided is always used for family. she knows that. I am unable to focus on my business development. She's gives negative feedback about me to my daughters and they also behave same with me, Instead of supporting and motivating me. There is no intimacy or sex past 1 year. Hardly 1 once in a month earlier, after I force (make positive effort) her lovingly. I love her very much. But this is making me lose that love & affection on her. In our 29 yrs of marriage, she never initiated intimacy, love. Always I been doing it. She never shows interest in getting physical right from 1st day. She has not kissed me even once or hugged me voluntarily in these 29 yrs. I initiate everything. I am romantic. She is not. She gives one or the other reason and avoids. She avoids kissing. She never liked gifts i bought for her. I want her to wear different dresses, but she rejects. Though we sleep on same bed, she just sleeps off. When i go to her, either she pushes or says she has to wake up early sleep now. Even with so many days gap, when I initiate intimacy after 1-3 months, but she taunts saying I only want that from her. I have been hugging, kissing and showing love, affection care on her right from the 1st day of marriage. The same thing is missing from her. I have tried many times talking to her in polite way, trying to woo her, but of no use. I have approached many times we can have one on one talk and sort out any issues she has with me, but she avoids coming into talking terms. I have tried to talk saying lets understand whats going wrong. If I start generally talking, she starts arguing, negative talking and avoids the main discussion that forces me to shut my mouth. when we go out on a 2-3 day trip, she enjoys outing seeing places, food & sleep. Doesn't behave romantically, lovingly. It's just like same as at home. Even I know I am not earning much and trying best to do well. She always keep telling about her money and financial support and her parental house with arrogance & attitude. She has been good with her parental side, but not my side. I believe both husband and wife should take care of family together irrespective of who is more financially strong. Just because I am not earning well, this type of treatment I don't understand. If it was recent few yrs I can understand. But right from day one I have been facing this. Now I've stopped talking much and in silence going through loneliness.
Ans: Dear Prashanth,
I understand that it has been quite difficult for you. After 29 yrs, feeling unwanted, unsupported and criticized can leave anyone extremely lonely. Your problem sounds a lot bigger than just lack of intimacy. There are long-standing communication issues, and both emotional and financial issues. This cannot be solved with romance alone. The better step is to stop pursuing intimacy for now, since your partner is uninterested, and instead focus on having a structured conversation, such as, "Are you willing to work on this marriage, to make it better?" If she refuses to discuss these things with you, I suggest seeing a marriage counsellor; it will be an impartial party looking into the matter, without supporting one over another.

Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |12512 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2026
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my daughter has secured admission in CSE-AI at IGDTUW .Going by the reputation of the institute she withdrew from BITSAT,JOSAA, LNMIIT and MHT-CET counselings. But now after attending the college for few days, she has been completely put off by the real bad infra and attitude of teachers there.Only viable option left now for her is COMEDK, where she can get CSE in MSRIT.We are delhi based and budget is not a issue. Please suggest further course of action.
Ans: Your daughter may consider switching to MSRIT CSE through COMEDK if her initial experience at IGDTUW has led her to reassess her choice. MSRIT offers good industry exposure and the advantage of Bengaluru’s strong technology ecosystem. However, it would be advisable to visit MSRIT and interact with current students before making the final decision.

Please also verify the current COMEDK counselling and reporting status, as deadlines and eligibility can vary by round. Before proceeding, confirm that her specific counselling status permits admission/reporting at MSRIT.

At the same time, it is important to remember that no institution is perfect; every college has its own strengths and areas for improvement. The decision should therefore consider academics, campus environment, faculty interaction, placements, peer group, location and overall student experience.

Finally, ensure that your daughter is comfortable and mentally prepared to relocate from Delhi to Bengaluru, and that you as parents are also equally comfortable with the transition. If MSRIT appears to offer a better overall fit after this evaluation, switching can be a reasonable option. If possible, it may be worthwhile to keep RVCE CSE as a preference until the final counselling round, provided your daughter has already included RVCE CSE among her choices. If the option remains available in the subsequent rounds, she can consider it based on the seat availability and her merit position. All The Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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