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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10848 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Avijit Question by Avijit on Oct 07, 2025Hindi
Money

Planning to purchase a property & for that my bank is offering a personal loan where they would provide 10 lakh 36 months tenure & need to pay back 11 lakh 60 thousand at the end if 36 months. I have my mutual fund so which options would be viable going for the loan or redeeming MF which has a ROI 10 percent. Please advise

Ans: You are thinking smartly by comparing both choices before deciding. Many people take loans emotionally. You are instead analysing the numbers and logic. That shows maturity in financial thinking. As a Certified Financial Planner, I truly appreciate this balanced view.

» Understanding Your Situation

You wish to buy a property. For this, your bank offers a personal loan of Rs 10 lakh for 36 months. You will repay Rs 11.6 lakh at the end of three years. That means you pay Rs 1.6 lakh extra. This is your total interest cost. You also have mutual fund investments earning around 10% returns per year. So, you want to know if it’s wiser to redeem your funds or take the loan.

Let’s evaluate both options carefully.

» Evaluating the Loan Option

A personal loan is an unsecured loan. So, the interest rate is usually high. In your case, the cost of Rs 1.6 lakh on Rs 10 lakh over 3 years works out to about 5.3% per year simple rate. But the real annualised rate or effective cost could be around 9–10% once we consider reducing balance.

Banks also charge processing fees, documentation fees, and sometimes insurance on the loan. Those costs increase your total expense. So, even if the simple calculation looks cheaper, your total outgo will be more.

You must also remember that loan EMIs are compulsory. You must pay every month, no matter what happens. This reduces your flexibility. If any emergency happens, you still have to pay the bank.

» Evaluating the Mutual Fund Option

Your mutual fund is giving 10% return. That means your money is working efficiently. It is growing steadily and beating inflation. If you redeem now to buy the property, your returns stop immediately. Also, if the mutual fund is equity-based, you may need to pay capital gains tax.

For equity mutual funds, if you have held them for more than one year, any long-term capital gain above Rs 1.25 lakh in a financial year will be taxed at 12.5%. If you redeem within one year, short-term gains are taxed at 20%. For debt mutual funds, both short and long-term gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

So, you must check how long you have held your funds. The tax can make redemption costlier than it looks.

» Comparing Both Choices

Let us look at both options from different angles –

– If you take the loan, you will pay interest around 9–10% per year effectively.
– Your mutual fund earns 10% per year.
– After tax, your real mutual fund return may fall to around 8–9%.
– So, both look almost similar in numbers.

However, financial decisions are not only about numbers. We must see cash flow, liquidity, risk, and peace of mind.

If you redeem the mutual fund fully, you lose the power of compounding. You also reduce your emergency buffer. Once that money is used for property, it becomes illiquid. You can’t get it back easily. On the other hand, if you take a loan, your investments continue to grow. You keep your long-term plan intact.

But, the loan adds fixed EMIs. If your income is stable and you have enough monthly surplus, EMIs will not stress you. Then the loan is manageable. But if your income is uncertain or you already have EMIs, more debt can create pressure.

» Assessing Emotional Comfort

Money decisions also have emotional sides. Some people feel peaceful when they avoid loans. Some feel comfortable keeping investments untouched and repaying slowly. You must choose what gives you better emotional comfort.

If you get mental relief by being debt-free, then redeeming your mutual fund is better. But if you value liquidity and ongoing growth, taking a loan is better.

» Evaluating Opportunity Cost

The opportunity cost here is the return you lose if you redeem your funds. Suppose your mutual fund continues giving 10% returns. In three years, Rs 10 lakh can grow to around Rs 13.3 lakh before tax. If you redeem now, you lose that potential gain.

If the loan costs you Rs 1.6 lakh total over three years, that looks lower than your potential fund growth. That means keeping the fund invested can still create more wealth. But this depends on market performance. Equity returns are not guaranteed.

So, if your mutual fund is equity-based, you must assess risk tolerance. If the market drops soon after you take the loan, you will face both EMI and reduced portfolio value.

» Liquidity and Safety Factors

Liquidity is how easily you can access money during need. Mutual funds offer high liquidity. But once redeemed for property, that liquidity is gone.

Loans reduce liquidity because of EMIs. If your job or business income is stable, EMIs are fine. If not, it may affect cash flow safety.

So, your safety depends on income stability, not only on returns.

» Evaluating from a 360-Degree View

A property purchase should not disturb your financial ecosystem. Your investments must continue to grow for long-term goals like retirement, child education, or financial independence.

If your mutual fund is part of your long-term wealth plan, redeeming it for property may delay those goals.

If property purchase is very important emotionally or practically (for example, your first home or family comfort), then you may allocate some portion from mutual fund redemption and balance through a small loan. That keeps both sides balanced.

» Impact of Taxation and Cash Flow

When you redeem mutual funds, the tax can eat a part of your gain. Even though the loan looks costlier, it does not attract any tax when you repay. So, the after-tax cost comparison is slightly different.

If you are in a higher tax slab, then redeeming debt mutual funds becomes less efficient because the gain will be taxed as per your slab rate.

In such a case, taking a short-term loan may look better financially.

» Long-Term Wealth Impact

If you continue mutual fund investment for long-term compounding, the effect is powerful. Compounding works best when money is left untouched for long. Even a three-year break can reduce your wealth creation.

A Certified Financial Planner always aims to keep compounding alive. If your EMI capacity supports it, then continue your mutual fund investments and take a moderate loan. That way, your long-term wealth grows while you meet your property goal.

» Risks in the Loan Option

Though the loan keeps investments intact, there are risks.

– Delay or default in EMI can hurt your credit score.
– Job loss or income cut can make EMI payments hard.
– Interest rates are mostly fixed, but other charges can add up.

You must check your total debt-to-income ratio. Try to keep EMIs below 35–40% of your take-home pay.

» Risks in the Redemption Option

If you redeem your mutual fund, you may regret it later. The market might give strong returns after your redemption. You will miss that growth.

Also, after using that money for property, your liquidity reduces. You can’t easily convert that asset into cash without selling.

You also lose diversification. Mutual funds give liquidity and diversification across sectors. Property gives only one asset exposure.

» Evaluating Behavioural Impact

Behavioural discipline is key. Many people redeem mutual funds thinking they will reinvest later, but they often don’t. Once that money is used, restarting investment becomes tough.

So, if you redeem now, you may delay restarting investments, and that delays wealth growth.

Loans enforce financial discipline because of fixed EMIs. That ensures continuous payment and future growth of investments.

» Analytical View of Both Paths

– Redeeming mutual fund gives immediate ownership without debt, but reduces long-term wealth.
– Taking a loan keeps wealth creation alive but increases EMI pressure.

If your monthly cash flow is strong, the second path (loan) is better. If your cash flow is tight, then part redemption and part loan is better.

» Hidden Costs and Real Returns

Loan EMI is not the only cost. There are also processing fees, documentation, and GST on interest. Similarly, mutual fund returns also face taxation and exit load if redeemed early.

So, compare total post-tax and post-charge figures. That gives a fairer comparison.

» Smart Middle Path

You can consider a mixed approach. Redeem a small part of your mutual fund and take a smaller loan. This reduces EMI pressure and also keeps some funds compounding. It balances risk and liquidity.

This approach also reduces tax outflow on capital gains because you redeem only partly.

» Insight on Debt Management

Debt is useful when it helps build an appreciating or essential asset. But personal loans must be used carefully because they are unsecured. If you default, it directly affects your credit history.

If your goal property is not an essential purchase, avoid taking high-cost personal loans. Wait, save, and plan better.

» The Role of a Certified Financial Planner

A Certified Financial Planner helps align your decisions with your life goals. They evaluate not only the numbers but also your emotional comfort, tax impact, insurance coverage, and retirement plan.

If you work with one, you can create a complete strategy where your home purchase, investments, protection, and liquidity all stay balanced.

» Financial Planning Perspective

Buying property is a financial and emotional decision. You must not disturb your long-term financial independence for short-term comfort.

Ensure you have –
– Adequate emergency fund of at least 6 months’ expenses.
– Health and term insurance coverage.
– Ongoing SIPs for future goals.
Only after these are intact, you should commit to new debt or property purchase.

» Final Insights

You are thinking wisely before deciding. If your income is steady and EMIs will not disturb other goals, taking the loan and continuing your mutual funds can be more beneficial.

If you prefer peace of mind and dislike loans, then redeem your funds and stay debt-free.

You can also choose a balanced path—part loan, part redemption. That will keep both liquidity and comfort intact.

Always see the full picture—cash flow, taxation, liquidity, goals, and emotional comfort. Numbers alone don’t decide financial success. The right balance and disciplined planning do.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10848 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
Should one redeem MF corpus of 25lakhs to buy property or take plot loan or loan against property at 9% interest for five years?
Ans: Deciding whether to redeem your mutual fund (MF) corpus of 25 lakhs to purchase property or opt for a loan against property (LAP) or plot loan involves careful consideration of various factors. Let's evaluate your options to make an informed decision:

Redeeming MF corpus:

Redeeming your MF corpus can provide immediate liquidity to fund the property purchase without incurring debt.
However, it's essential to assess the potential tax implications, including capital gains tax, associated with redeeming MF units.
Consider the impact of withdrawing from your investment portfolio on your long-term financial goals and investment strategy.
Opting for loan against property or plot loan:

Taking a loan against property or plot loan allows you to retain your MF investments while leveraging your property as collateral to access funds.
The interest rate of 9% for a loan against property is competitive, but it's crucial to factor in the total interest cost over the loan tenure.
Evaluate your repayment capacity to ensure you can comfortably manage the loan EMIs without straining your finances.
Consider the loan tenure, as opting for a longer tenure may result in lower EMIs but higher overall interest payments.
Ultimately, the decision depends on your financial situation, risk tolerance, and long-term goals. If you prefer to maintain your MF investments and have a stable income to support loan repayments, opting for a loan against property or plot loan could be a viable option. However, if you prioritize debt-free property ownership and are willing to forgo potential investment returns, redeeming MF units may be suitable.

Before making a decision, consult with a Certified Financial Planner to assess the impact on your overall financial plan and ensure it aligns with your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10848 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 40 year old, with monthly joint income of 4Lakhs and expense of 2L and 1.2L of EMI. I also generate rental income of 40K a month. I have most of the investment in real estate. Both of our PF accounts amount to about 20L . I have a debt of 1Cr and want to repay that with all the extra funds each month. Should we repay the loan or should we invest the excess funds in MF.
Ans: Given your financial situation, it's essential to prioritize debt repayment to reduce interest costs and achieve financial freedom. With a monthly surplus of ?1.8 lakhs (income minus expenses and EMI), you can allocate a portion towards debt repayment and investments.

Debt Repayment: Focus on repaying the ?1Cr debt to reduce interest expenses and improve cash flow. Utilize a significant portion of the surplus funds each month to accelerate the debt repayment process.

Investments: While debt repayment should be a priority, consider maintaining a balanced approach by investing a smaller portion in mutual funds for diversification and potential growth. Start SIPs in equity and debt mutual funds to build a diversified investment portfolio over time.

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund (3-6 months of expenses) set aside in a liquid and accessible form to handle unexpected expenses without derailing your financial plan.

Retirement Planning: Continue contributing to your PF accounts and consider additional retirement-focused investments like NPS to build a substantial corpus for retirement.

Recommendation:

Allocate a significant portion of your surplus towards debt repayment to reduce the ?1Cr debt and save on interest costs.
Invest a smaller portion in mutual funds through SIPs for long-term wealth creation and diversification.
Review and adjust your financial plan periodically to align with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions.
Consult a financial advisor to create a personalized financial plan tailored to your needs, helping you achieve debt freedom and financial independence over time.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10848 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir, I’m planning to buy land worth ?14L. Should I opt for a personal loan or Loan against Mutual Fund? I currently have ?25L in debt, ?15L in mutual fund equity, a monthly take-home salary of ?1.65L, and no other loans.
Ans: Your financial profile shows good stability. With a monthly take-home of Rs 1.65L, you can manage debt comfortably. However, your existing Rs 25L debt is significant and needs strategic handling.

Owning mutual funds worth Rs 15L provides flexibility. These funds can be useful for a secured loan. Your Rs 14L land purchase must align with your long-term goals.

Option 1: Personal Loan Assessment
Personal loans are unsecured and processed quickly. However, they have higher interest rates compared to secured loans.

Repayment tenure is flexible but usually shorter. This results in higher EMIs.

Interest costs for personal loans are not tax-deductible. Hence, they don’t provide any tax benefits.

Taking a personal loan increases your overall debt burden further. Assess carefully if this aligns with your income stability.

Option 2: Loan Against Mutual Funds
This is a secured loan where your mutual funds are pledged. Interest rates are lower compared to personal loans.

You can continue earning returns on your mutual funds while they are pledged. This way, the capital remains invested.

Repayment flexibility is an advantage. Borrow only the amount you need, reducing unnecessary interest costs.

The processing is fast, but there could be a margin requirement. This depends on the lender's terms.

Evaluating Between Both Options
Key Advantages of Loan Against Mutual Funds:

Lower interest rates than personal loans.

Allows mutual fund investment continuity.

Flexible repayment options for better cash flow.

Key Limitations of Personal Loans:

Higher interest rates can strain your cash flow.

Shorter repayment period increases EMI amounts.

No parallel financial benefit during the repayment period.

Tax Implications and Loan Choice
If you redeem equity mutual funds, gains above Rs 1.25L are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%.

Loan against mutual funds avoids these taxes. Personal loans, however, won’t trigger tax liabilities.

This makes loans against mutual funds more tax-efficient for your situation.

Cash Flow and Debt Management Insights
Your Rs 25L existing debt is already sizeable. Adding Rs 14L debt increases your financial commitments.

Evaluate your monthly cash flow after loan EMIs. Ensure you have sufficient funds for other expenses.

Avoid over-leveraging to prevent financial stress. This is especially important in volatile economic times.

General Advice on Real Estate
Purchase land only if it supports your lifestyle or goals. Avoid considering real estate as an investment.

Real estate involves liquidity and market value challenges. It lacks the diversification and flexibility mutual funds offer.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner
Engage a Certified Financial Planner to align this decision with your financial goals. They provide personalised advice tailored to your needs.

A planner can help you optimise your mutual funds. They also ensure your debt is manageable within your financial capacity.

Action Steps for Better Financial Decisions
Use your mutual fund portfolio for a secured loan instead of a personal loan.

Plan repayments based on your cash flow and lifestyle requirements.

Avoid redeeming mutual funds unnecessarily to minimise tax liabilities.

Focus on a diversified investment strategy to enhance financial growth.

Finally
Your Rs 14L land purchase is achievable with proper planning. Opting for a loan against mutual funds is more cost-efficient and strategic. It reduces financial strain and aligns with your investment objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |367 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 19, 2025

Money
Dear Sir I hope you are doing well. I am seeking your independent opinion on a proposed switch of my existing Bajaj Allianz Goal Assure funds into the Nifty 500 Multicap Momentum Quality 50 Index Fund. My insurance advisor has recommended moving my entire current corpus (~₹10.3 lakh) into this fund gradually at ₹2 lakh per year. For your reference, here are the details of my current portfolio and SIP plans: Current Portfolio (as of latest statement): Fund Name Current Value (₹) Bond Fund 83,226.67 Equity Growth Fund - 2 1,88,982.12 Accelerator Mid Cap Fund - 2 36,080.50 Pure Stock Fund II 6,45,281.48 Small Cap Fund 51,194.39 Midcap Index Fund 29,979.86 Total Portfolio Value: ₹10,34,745.02 Current SIP Allocation (₹10,000/month): Accelerator Mid Cap Fund II: 2,700 Equity Growth Fund - 2: 3,000 Pure Stock Fund II: 2,300 Small Cap Fund: 2,000 Given my long-term investment goal (2035), I would like your expert advice on the following: The impact on portfolio diversification and risk if I move my entire corpus gradually into the Nifty 500 Momentum Fund. How this switch could affect the return of charges feature in my Goal Assure plan. Whether you would recommend a full switch as suggested, or a partial allocation, and why. Expected volatility and downside risk, especially considering the last 1-year market performance. Any hidden conditions or costs associated with this switch. I would greatly appreciate your independent and detailed guidance to help me make an informed decision. Thank you for your time and expertise.
Ans: Hi Rudolf,

Your current holding funds are not that great keeping in mind your time horizon and funds performance. If you keep investing in these funds, much return cannot be expected. Hence switch is necessary into good performing funds which can easily give you a return of 14-15% on an yearly basis.

The entire shift will definitely come with additional cost and taxes for you to pay but it will be better to shift now and move to better performing funds than keep invested in funds like these.

Funds like Assure Funds comes with very high hidden costs and commissions and there are much much better funds out there for loong term investment. One should never consider investing in funds like these.

However, it would be wise not to consult an Insurance Advisor for your investments. An insurance advisor is completely different from Investment Advisors. You should seek the help of a good professional who can help in choosing funds for your long term portfolio. A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you with this regard.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

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Reetika Sharma  |367 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 19, 2025

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Dear Sir I hope you are doing well. I am seeking your independent opinion on a proposed switch of my existing Bajaj Allianz Goal Assure funds into the Nifty 500 Multicap Momentum Quality 50 Index Fund. My insurance advisor has recommended moving my entire current corpus (~₹10.3 lakh) into this fund gradually at ₹2 lakh per year. For your reference, here are the details of my current portfolio and SIP plans: Current Portfolio (as of latest statement): Fund Name Current Value (₹) Bond Fund 83,226.67 Equity Growth Fund - 2 1,88,982.12 Accelerator Mid Cap Fund - 2 36,080.50 Pure Stock Fund II 6,45,281.48 Small Cap Fund 51,194.39 Midcap Index Fund 29,979.86 Total Portfolio Value: ₹10,34,745.02 Current SIP Allocation (₹10,000/month): Accelerator Mid Cap Fund II: 2,700 Equity Growth Fund - 2: 3,000 Pure Stock Fund II: 2,300 Small Cap Fund: 2,000 Given my long-term investment goal (2035), I would like your expert advice on the following: The impact on portfolio diversification and risk if I move my entire corpus gradually into the Nifty 500 Momentum Fund. How this switch could affect the return of charges feature in my Goal Assure plan. Whether you would recommend a full switch as suggested, or a partial allocation, and why. Expected volatility and downside risk, especially considering the last 1-year market performance. Any hidden conditions or costs associated with this switch. I would greatly appreciate your independent and detailed guidance to help me make an informed decision. Thank you for your time and expertise.
Ans: Hi Rudolf,

Your current holding funds are not that great keeping in mind your time horizon and funds performance. If you keep investing in these funds, much return cannot be expected. Hence switch is necessary into good performing funds which can easily give you a return of 14-15% on an yearly basis.

The entire shift will definitely come with additional cost and taxes for you to pay but it will be better to shift now and move to better performing funds than keep invested in funds like these.

Funds like Assure Funds comes with very high hidden costs and commissions and there are much much better funds out there for loong term investment. One should never consider investing in funds like these.

However, it would be wise not to consult an Insurance Advisor for your investments. An insurance advisor is completely different from Investment Advisors. You should seek the help of a good professional who can help in choosing funds for your long term portfolio. A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you with this regard.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |367 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 19, 2025

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Dear Sir I hope you are doing well. I am seeking your independent opinion on a proposed switch of my existing Bajaj Allianz Goal Assure funds into the Nifty 500 Multicap Momentum Quality 50 Index Fund. My insurance advisor has recommended moving my entire current corpus (~₹10.3 lakh) into this fund gradually at ₹2 lakh per year. For your reference, here are the details of my current portfolio and SIP plans: Current Portfolio (as of latest statement): Fund Name Current Value (₹) Bond Fund 83,226.67 Equity Growth Fund - 2 1,88,982.12 Accelerator Mid Cap Fund - 2 36,080.50 Pure Stock Fund II 6,45,281.48 Small Cap Fund 51,194.39 Midcap Index Fund 29,979.86 Total Portfolio Value: ₹10,34,745.02 Current SIP Allocation (₹10,000/month): Accelerator Mid Cap Fund II: 2,700 Equity Growth Fund - 2: 3,000 Pure Stock Fund II: 2,300 Small Cap Fund: 2,000 Given my long-term investment goal (2035), I would like your expert advice on the following: The impact on portfolio diversification and risk if I move my entire corpus gradually into the Nifty 500 Momentum Fund. How this switch could affect the return of charges feature in my Goal Assure plan. Whether you would recommend a full switch as suggested, or a partial allocation, and why. Expected volatility and downside risk, especially considering the last 1-year market performance. Any hidden conditions or costs associated with this switch. I would greatly appreciate your independent and detailed guidance to help me make an informed decision. Thank you for your time and expertise
Ans: Hi Rudolf,

Your current holding funds are not that great keeping in mind your time horizon and funds performance. If you keep investing in these funds, much return cannot be expected. Hence switch is necessary into good performing funds which can easily give you a return of 14-15% on an yearly basis.

The entire shift will definitely come with additional cost and taxes for you to pay but it will be better to shift now and move to better performing funds than keep invested in funds like these.

Funds like Assure Funds comes with very high hidden costs and commissions and there are much much better funds out there for loong term investment. One should never consider investing in funds like these.

However, it would be wise not to consult an Insurance Advisor for your investments. An insurance advisor is completely different from Investment Advisors. You should seek the help of a good professional who can help in choosing funds for your long term portfolio. A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you with this regard.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear madam I have this suitaution in my life. Plz do guide me with this. So i have 2 married sisters and a brother with who i dont get along well. We used to be close back then. Later on my father passed away and then i got busy searching work. After getting work i got carried away with my newly found friendship with a boy i started spending much on him rather then my family. But still then i never neglected my family every kind of help i tried to give them. In the meanwhile i used to take care of my bedridden grandmother who used to stay in another state. Then my second sister started feeding everyone's mind against me saying i dont help them with money and i spend most on my grandmother and cousin. Though my sister were earning well still they waited me to spend on them which i stopped by then as they were earning. And there used to be a real good fight with my sisters and me regarding money issue and als my marriage thing and i gave them bitter words and also curses which i regret to this day thinking how could i do hated thing to my family .In next few years my sister got married but my second sister never invited me for her marriage and did all her wedding plans in my absence and i als never attended her wedding. I attended my 3rd sister wedding. After that my second sister plotted a plan against me by taking everyone on her side and kept me out of all the family functions. I just ignored them and decided to never to get bothered by any of this. Now the problem my 3rd sister is pregnant and they have planned a babyshower and like they are just telling me to attend it. To be honest they just told me a day before the function. How to handle this. Should i attend? And how to deal with such kind of people they seem to take advantage of my helpless. Please guide me on how to become a strong girl while taking desicion.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Learn the skill of staying away from all this drama. If you felt secure with who you are, you wouldn't think much whether you got invited or not. Do remember, people will be on your side sometimes and not on your side at other times. This goes for friends are family; so learn to be comfortable with that...
What you did for your grandmother is a choice that you made; why expect anything in return?
Life lived with least expectations is certainly a happier life...counting what people did or didn't do will take away your peace!
Real strength is not in fighting it out but knowing when to walk away from constant drama.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 18, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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