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Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

Colonel Sanjeev Govila (retd) is the founder of Hum Fauji Initiatives, a financial planning company dedicated to the armed forces personnel and their families.
He has over 12 years of experience in financial planning and is a SEBI certified registered investment advisor; he is also accredited with AMFI and IRDA.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 24, 2024Hindi
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My husband is 50 and I am 47. We have a combined income of 10 lakhs per month. Our kids are 17 and 14 yet to go to college. What should be our monthly savings? How should we diversify our funds? What is the retirement corpus we should have assuming that our present monthly expense is one lakh/ month on groceries, transport, school fees, travel, salaries etc

Ans: Dear Ma'am,

Without detailed financial information such as current investments and loans, I cannot provide an exact monthly investment figure for your retirement needs.

Assuming retirement in 10 years from now after children's education and other goals have finished or been catered for, you should aim to accumulate a corpus of at least Rs 4-5 crores. To achieve this, invest 2-3 lakhs monthly in SIPs. However, in the absence of all other data, this is a very rough figure.

Regularly review and adjust investments to stay on track towards your retirement goals. Consulting a financial advisor for personalized guidance based on your specific financial situation is recommended.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Moneywize

Moneywize   | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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I have Rs 1.2 crore in my bank account. My wife earns Rs 80,000 per month and I earn Rs 2 lakh per month. We have three children – two daughters and one son – who will need approximately 10 to 15 lakh each for their higher studies 7 to 12 years from now. How shall I go about meeting my children’s education goal and also plan for my retirement. My wife and I have about 15 and 7 years for our retirement.
Ans: It's great that you're thinking ahead for your children's education and your retirement! Here's a suggested plan to meet your goals:

1. Children's Education Fund:

• Since you have 7 to 12 years for your children's higher education, you can invest in relatively aggressive investment options like mutual funds or diversified equity funds. These have the potential to offer higher returns over the long term.
• Allocate a portion of your savings every month towards this goal. Considering inflation and assuming an average annual return of 10%, you would need to invest roughly Rs 20,000 to Rs 25,000 per month to accumulate the desired amount for each child's education.

2. Retirement Planning:

• Since you and your wife have 15 and 7 years left for retirement respectively, you'll want to focus on building a retirement corpus.
• Consider investing in a mix of equity and debt instruments to balance risk and returns. You can invest in mutual funds, provident funds, and Public Provident Fund (PPF) for a balanced portfolio.
• Aim to save at least 15-20% of your combined monthly income for retirement. Considering your current earnings, you can aim to save around Rs 50,000 to Rs 60,000 per month for retirement.

3. Asset Allocation:

Since you have a relatively long investment horizon for both goals, you can afford to have a higher allocation towards equities for potentially higher returns. As you approach your retirement age, gradually shift towards more conservative investment options to preserve capital.

4. Emergency Fund:

Make sure to maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 3-6 months of your combined living expenses. This fund should be readily accessible in case of unexpected expenses or emergencies.

5. Regular Review:

Regularly review your investment portfolio and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your financial situation, market conditions, and investment goals.

6. Professional Advice:

Consider consulting with a financial advisor to tailor a plan specific to your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment preferences.

By following this plan diligently and investing consistently over the years, you should be well-prepared to meet your children's education expenses and enjoy a comfortable retirement.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6347 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 24, 2024Hindi
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I am 48 and my wife is 47 years old. Both working in MNC. We have 3cr in PMS and AIF. 1.2 cr in MFs, SSA 40 lakhs, LICs about 25 lakhs, gold 1 cr, PFs 1 cr. We get a monthly rental of 70,000. We have 2 girls - 18 and 13 years old. Our monthly expenditure is about 1 lakh. If we have to retire at age 52 how much money should we have and how can we save?
Ans: Crafting a Retirement Plan for Financial Freedom
Your proactive approach towards retirement planning is commendable. Let's develop a comprehensive strategy to ensure a comfortable retirement at the age of 52.

Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
Asset Allocation
Evaluate your current assets, including investments, savings, and other holdings, to understand your financial position.

Identify areas for optimization and potential gaps in your retirement portfolio.

Setting Retirement Goals
Desired Retirement Lifestyle
Define your desired retirement lifestyle, considering factors such as travel, hobbies, and healthcare expenses.

Estimate your monthly income requirements to maintain your chosen lifestyle during retirement.

Calculating Retirement Corpus
Retirement Expenses
Factor in anticipated expenses during retirement, including living expenses, healthcare, children's education, and other financial commitments.

Calculate the total retirement corpus required to sustain your lifestyle throughout your retirement years.

Strategies to Achieve Retirement Goals
Optimizing Investments
Review your existing investment portfolio and reallocate assets to align with your retirement objectives and risk tolerance.

Consider diversifying your investments across various asset classes to minimize risk and maximize returns.

Retirement Savings
Maximize contributions to retirement accounts such as EPF, PPF, and voluntary retirement schemes to bolster your retirement savings.

Explore additional avenues for retirement savings, such as tax-efficient investment options and voluntary contributions to retirement plans.

Budgeting and Expense Management
Implement strict budgeting measures to control expenses and increase savings potential.

Identify areas where expenses can be reduced or eliminated to allocate more funds towards retirement savings.

Educating Children about Financial Responsibility
Financial Literacy
Educate your children about financial management and the importance of responsible spending and saving habits.

Encourage them to pursue higher education scholarships and part-time employment opportunities to lessen the financial burden on your retirement savings.

Benefits of Regular Funds Investing through MFD with CFP Credential
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds require active management and market knowledge.

Investors may lack expertise in fund selection and portfolio management.

Benefits of Regular Funds Investing through MFD with CFP Credential
Working with a Certified Financial Planner ensures personalized guidance and expert advice.

MFDs provide tailored investment strategies aligned with your financial goals and risk profile.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Retirement Plan
Regular Review
Monitor the performance of your investments and revisit your retirement plan annually to track progress towards your goals.

Make necessary adjustments to your investment strategy and savings plan based on changing market conditions and personal circumstances.

Conclusion
By implementing a holistic retirement plan that encompasses investments, savings, and expense management, you can achieve financial independence and retire comfortably at the age of 52.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner will provide invaluable insights and guidance tailored to your specific financial goals and aspirations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6347 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Money
We are family of 3 my husband 43 years myself 40 years my daughter 10 years .no loans monthly earnings approx 4 lakhs . We plan to retire at 55 years . Monthly expenses approx 1 lakh what should be our retirement fund considering my daughter education also .
Ans: No loans and a good monthly income of Rs 4 lakhs is a great foundation. Managing monthly expenses of Rs 1 lakh also shows disciplined financial habits.

Setting Retirement Goals
You aim to retire at 55, which is in 15 years. It’s crucial to assess your financial goals, including your daughter’s education and lifestyle after retirement.

Estimating Post-Retirement Expenses
After retirement, your expenses may change. While some expenses like commuting will reduce, healthcare and leisure might increase. Assume monthly expenses of Rs 1 lakh now. Post-retirement, adjusting for inflation, this could be around Rs 2.4 lakhs per month.

Accounting for Inflation
Inflation significantly impacts long-term financial planning. Assuming an average inflation rate of 6%, your current Rs 1 lakh monthly expense will need to grow to cover higher costs in the future.

Daughter’s Education Fund
Higher education costs are rising. Let’s estimate a fund for your daughter’s college education, considering current and future costs. A reputed Indian college might cost around Rs 25-30 lakhs today, which will likely increase over the next 8 years.

Building a Retirement Corpus
Given your retirement timeline, you need to build a significant corpus. This will support your lifestyle and healthcare needs. Your current earnings give you a solid base to start with.

Investment Strategy
Diversified Portfolio
Investing in a diversified portfolio is key. Consider equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Equities can offer higher returns, while debt provides stability. Hybrid funds balance the two.

Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds often outperform index funds in the long run. Professional fund managers adjust the portfolio based on market conditions, potentially offering better returns.

Regular Mutual Funds Through CFPs
Regular mutual funds, managed by a certified financial planner (CFP), can be advantageous. CFPs provide professional advice, helping you navigate market complexities and optimize returns.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund. It’s essential for unexpected expenses. Aim for 6-12 months’ worth of expenses in a liquid, easily accessible form.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate health and life insurance. Health insurance is critical, especially as you age. Life insurance protects your family’s financial future. Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies; pure insurance products are better.

Surrendering Unproductive Policies
If you hold LIC, ULIP, or investment-cum-insurance policies, consider surrendering them. Reinvest the proceeds into mutual funds. These policies often have high charges and low returns.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning can save money. Utilize tax-saving instruments under Section 80C, 80D, and others. Mutual funds like ELSS can help save tax while providing good returns.

Monitoring and Reviewing
Regularly monitor and review your investments. Financial goals and market conditions change. Adjust your portfolio as needed, ideally with the help of a CFP.

Early Retirement Considerations
Retiring early at 55 means your corpus needs to last longer. Plan for at least 30 years post-retirement. This requires a careful balance of growth and safety in your investments.

Role of Certified Financial Planners
CFPs offer expertise in creating a holistic financial plan. They help in choosing the right investments, optimizing returns, and ensuring your goals are met efficiently.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds adapt to market changes. Skilled managers can capitalize on opportunities and mitigate risks better than passive index funds. They also offer personalized investment strategies.

Addressing Direct Fund Disadvantages
Direct funds require individual management. They lack professional guidance, which can lead to suboptimal decisions. Investing through a CFP ensures professional management and better alignment with your goals.

Contingency Planning
Always have a contingency plan. Unexpected events can derail your financial plans. A solid contingency fund and insurance coverage provide a safety net.

Education Planning
For your daughter’s education, consider child-specific mutual funds. These funds are tailored to meet educational expenses, providing both growth and safety.

Retirement Lifestyle
Visualize your retirement lifestyle. Consider hobbies, travel, and other activities you wish to pursue. Budget for these, ensuring you have enough funds to enjoy your retirement fully.

Final Insights
Planning for retirement is a multifaceted process. It requires a balanced approach, considering various aspects like inflation, education, and lifestyle. Engaging with a certified financial planner can significantly enhance your financial journey, ensuring you meet your retirement goals comfortably.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6347 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi, My age is 32 now unmarried. Am earning around 2.5 lakhs per month. I have 50K home loan and my monthly expenses come around 30K. I have 2 lakhs Fixed deposit , 7 lakhs in PPF ,3 lakhs in NPS and 2 lakhs invested in stock market. Please guide me how much we need for retirement and child's education in future and how to invest for the same from now on.
Ans: It’s great to see you planning your financial future early. Let’s break down your current financial status and develop a strategy to secure your retirement and future child’s education.

Understanding Your Current Financial Status
Income and Expenses

Monthly income: Rs. 2.5 lakhs
Monthly expenses: Rs. 30,000
Home loan: Rs. 50,000
Current Investments

Fixed deposit: Rs. 2 lakhs
PPF: Rs. 7 lakhs
NPS: Rs. 3 lakhs
Stock market: Rs. 2 lakhs
Your financial discipline and savings are commendable. Let's build on this to achieve your goals.

Estimating Future Needs
Retirement Corpus
Estimating your retirement needs depends on various factors like current lifestyle, inflation, and expected rate of return on investments. As a rule of thumb, you should aim to build a retirement corpus that is 20-25 times your annual expenses at retirement. This ensures you can maintain your lifestyle post-retirement without financial worries.

Child’s Education Fund
Higher education costs are rising rapidly. It's wise to plan early to ensure your child gets the best education possible. Depending on the course and country, the cost can vary significantly. However, planning for at least Rs. 50 lakhs to Rs. 1 crore for higher education is a good start.

Investment Strategies for Financial Goals
Diversifying Investments
Mutual Funds

Mutual funds are an excellent choice for long-term investments due to their potential for high returns and the power of compounding. They also offer diversification, reducing risk.

Equity Funds: Suitable for long-term goals like retirement and child’s education. These funds invest in stocks, which have the potential for high returns.

Debt Funds: These are less risky than equity funds and are good for medium-term goals. They invest in fixed-income securities.

Hybrid Funds: A mix of equity and debt funds, providing a balance between risk and return.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

Investing through SIPs is a smart way to invest in mutual funds. It allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly, ensuring discipline and averaging out the investment cost.

Power of Compounding

The longer you stay invested, the greater the power of compounding. Your money earns returns, and these returns also earn returns, leading to exponential growth over time.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe and reliable investment with tax benefits. It offers decent returns and should be a part of your retirement planning. Continue your contributions to PPF for steady, risk-free growth.

National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a great retirement-focused investment with tax benefits. It offers a mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities. Continue your contributions to NPS for a well-rounded retirement corpus.

Setting Up a Financial Plan
Monthly Budget Allocation
Allocate your monthly income wisely to cover expenses, loan repayment, and investments.

Expenses: Rs. 30,000
Home loan: Rs. 50,000
Investments: Rs. 1.7 lakhs
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures financial stability during unforeseen events. Your current fixed deposit can serve as part of this emergency fund.

Investment Allocation
Short-Term Goals (1-3 years)

Emergency fund
Fixed deposits
Short-term debt funds
Medium-Term Goals (3-5 years)

Debt funds
Hybrid funds
Long-Term Goals (5+ years)

Equity mutual funds
PPF
NPS
Regular Review and Adjustment
Review your financial plan regularly and adjust based on changes in income, expenses, or goals. Stay updated on market trends and adjust your investment strategy accordingly.

Risk Management
Insurance

Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance to protect against unforeseen events. This is crucial for safeguarding your financial future.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers making investment decisions to maximize returns. They can potentially outperform index funds, especially in volatile markets. Regularly monitor fund performance and switch if necessary.

Final Insights
Planning for retirement and child’s education requires a disciplined approach. Diversify your investments, utilize the power of compounding, and regularly review your plan. By starting early and staying committed, you can achieve your financial goals comfortably.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |171 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 20, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi, I'm 37 and I just started to invest in MFs regularly. My investments are listed below. Except a couple of them, all of them are either 1 month to a few days old. As mentioned below, started SIP of 40000 between Motilal Oswal Nifty Midcap 150 and Nippon india small cap. I would like to invest 40000 more in SIPs making my total investment as 1CR over the next 10 years, in the hopes of creating a portfolio of 2 CR with a 12% return on year. I understand that there are 11 MFs here but appreciate your suggestions on trimming this down while meeting the above mentioned financial goal. Thanks. 1. Motilal Oswal Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Index Dir-G: One Time: Investment: 50000: Current Value 50000: 2. Nippon India Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Index Dir-G: One Time: Investment: 50000: Current Value: 50000: 3. Mirae Asset ELSS Tax Saver Dir-G: One Time: Investment: 50000: Current Value:70277: 4. Mirae Asset ELSS Tax Saver Reg-G: One Time: Investment: 24998: Current Value:38598: 5. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Dir-G: One Time: Investment: 50000: Current Value: 52727: 6. Axis ELSS Tax Saver Dir-G: One Time: Investment:30000: Current Value: 63863: 7. Nippon India Large Cap Dir-G: One Time: Investment: 49999.99: Current Value: 52358: 8. Motilal Oswal Midcap Dir-G: One Time: Investment: 50000: Current Value: 54061: 9. Quant Small Cap Dir-G: One Time: Investment: 100000: Current Value: 103437: 10. Motilal Oswal Nifty Midcap 150 Dir-G: SIP: Investment:19999.98 Current Value: 20319: 11. Nippon India Small Cap Dir-G: SIP: Investment: 20000: Current Value 20040:
Ans: 1. Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Index is a recently introduced index and hence also your funds based on this index. The back tested results look attractive however I recommend you to monitor them closely for 2-3 years and if you feel not sure about their progress you may exit and redeploy proceeds into PPFAS flexicap fund and Nippon large cap fund.

2. The additional 40 K sip proposed maybe split between either ELSS(for tax saving too) or PPFAS flexicap and Nippon India large cap fund.

3. You may merge your ELSS investments into one fund, my advice would be Mirae Asset ELSS.

4. This will help rationalize number of funds in your portfolio from 10(+2) to 7.

5. Discipline, focus and periodic review in MF investment are a must!

6. As you reach closer to your target transfer the gains from equity funds to liquid/debt funds to protect it from volatility.

I am quite hopeful that you may very well achieve the intended target with the right approach.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates.

Happy Investing!!

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |314 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2024Hindi
Relationship
I met a women through a matrimonial site. I live abroad and she lives in India. I am 42 and she is 40 years old. We spoke for about 6 months. Then I came to India. Spent some time together and even met the parents. We both like each other. And have the blessings of the parents. But the problem is distance. I am very close to attaining citizenship. But still see that the process and getting an OCI could take at least 2 years. She has a good job with the central government in India. She has decent career prospects, in the country where I live. Initially, she was not interested in marrying anyone living abroad. I raised this with her when we spoke. She had come to where I live for a short diploma course, and was okay in talking with me. When I met her parents, they were also okay with her moving abroad. So far things have been good, but now we are trying to fix the dates for marriage, and trying to solve the long distance issue. I suggested that she could take a sabbatical and spend some time, or if possible pursue higher education. so she need not leave her job in India. Given her current background she also has good career prospects already. However she panics now every time I try to breach this topic. She is scared even to research n life abroad, and now she feels it is better we break up. She admits that , she is a chronic overthinker, I have been very careful in dealing with difficult topics. She has had a relatively easy life, whereas I am used to dealing with challenges personal and professional setbacks. It is really difficult to connect with someone, irrespective of age. I have worked for 18 years in India, and not keen to go through the toxic culture and harsh corporate life. She has a transferable job in India, so even in India we might struggle to be together. I am okay with retiring, from a corpoarte jb and seeking another career which would keep me financially independant and help me lead a meanigful existene. I am exploring ways, but thiis is going to take time. We both considered all the scenarios, and agreed that if she finds a good job abroad, would be relatiely the easier path. But now she is not even ready to consider this and becomes very anxious. . I feel I am more, happy healthy living abroad than in India. I was diabetic in India, and am now off medicines , after moving abroad. It has been easier for me to lead a happy and healthy life abroad, even though I live alone. I am wondering how to approach this. I do not want to hurt anyone. I can understand why she is anxious. I have told her that she does not have to leave her job, she only has to research if she has good prospects. I even offered to get her in touch with folks who have made such transition. I gave her contact details of consultants who can advic her on her career prospects. Visa etc is not an issue. Please advise if I can salvage this relationship or better to accept defeat. I really like her and do not want to hurt her.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand your concerns. It is a tough choice- both for you and her. On one hand, we can't completely deny her concerns either. She has a good job here and the fear is only fair. But, given her chronic overthinking, she must have already created a worse scenario in her head. It sounds like you both are in a difficult spot where you care for each other deeply but life-changing decisions are creating anxiety. No matter how much you tell her, it isn't going to help. She has to come to terms with it herself. but there are some things you can do to speed up the process-

Acknowledge the fear- Don't make her feel like she is wrong to think this way, or that she is merely overthinking. There is some logic to her fears. Acknowledge that. It does not mean you are encouraging them. Just let her know that any big life decisions are bound to cause some panic in a person and her feelings are completely valid.

Encourage her to take small steps- Instead of asking her to talk to people who have made the shift, try casually including stories of such people in a normal daily conversation once in a while. It would not feel like a commitment but also give her an idea.

Frame the discussion in a better way- For instance, instead of focusing on the move, discuss the life you will be building together. This will give her a scope to see what she can gain if only she can get over her fears.

Do not rush- Big life decisions can't be taken in a hurry. So, give her that space and time. In the meantime, you can continue with life as it was. Let her know that there isn't a timeframe within which she has to decide. This isn't an ultimatum. Sometimes a few kind words can make all the difference.

It's still not time to give up. Is she worth trying a little more? If yes, try. Create a space that is free of judgment where she can openly share her worries, no matter how trivial they might be. It can seem that you are putting in all the effort, but for a chronic overthinker, even considering or trying to overcome a set fear is a big task. Give her a little more time. I am sure things will work out soon.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |314 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
So, i've started talking to this girl who was a classmate during my college. We've never talked all this time... But we started talking only after 7 years... She was currently working near my home town.. and i am working in a neighbouring state. It is 3 or 4months now.. we are talking and we liked each other...like.. we were in the same situations in life... Like.. we both lost our mothers.. and we are from the same community.. but the deadlock came here in the guise of religion. She belongs to one and i belong to another... Even though we both from same caste... We had a discussion before like.. even though we like each other... she cant move forward in relation because of religion. We had am understanding for sometime... But recently we had a discussion over the same topic and we had a fight... Now the girl and i are not fully talking to each other... Cause she was frightened on what could happen to us if we move forward in a relationship and it fails... Because we are not a stage to try and test things because we both are 29 and you know how it will be in family for a girl... So pleaseee give me advice how to save this relationship... Because i dont want to miss this girl at all. Please...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are in a tough spot, but if she has truly made up her mind not to proceed with the relationship, especially based on something as sensitive as religion, I cannot advise you to pursue her or try to convince her further. The only thing you can do is have one last open discussion where you express your feelings and the things you are willing to do to make this relationship work out. And for one last time, you can ask her, and only ask, if she would be willing to give it another try. If the answer is still a no, I am sorry, but it would not be wise to continue pushing this. If religion is important to her or an integral part of her family values, it would be selfish to ask her to set that aside for you.

I hope things work out for you.


Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |314 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi sir, I’m planning to start a new life with my girlfriend for rest of my life leaving our both families aside. Reason to do that is, I’m recently married with other girl, and my gf married to other guy. We both didn’t even completed 6 months. We are not happy with our life partners. The reason we Got married to other is lack of courage to fight elders by my girlfriend but now she is ready to do fight or even leave them aside for me and start a new complete life.I’m a simple corporate working guy. We are completely decided to live together whatever happens. Our parents wont accept us as they are thinking about our married partners. Whats the best advice you would give to us to start new life in other state?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

This is a huge decision. First, I would advise both of you to think this through. I am not discouraging you because a broken marriage is far better than a forced one. But if you have even the slightest tinge of doubt, don't rush it. A lot of people are involved in this.

Here are my two cents-

Respect your current marriage- Even if you decide to leave your spouses, you have to handle this situation responsibly and with respect. You are in love with each other, but your current partners are going to suffer for it, through no fault of their own. The least you can do is part ways with kindness and integrity.

Legalities- Divorces can be a long and complicated process. It takes a financial and mental toll on people. Be prepared for that, especially since you do not have the support of your family.

Mental health- Here I am not only talking about your mental health, you need to consider your current spouse's mental health too. And though leaving behind your family seems to be the only option, it is still a big decision. Make sure both you and your girlfriend are in the right frame of mind when you finalize the decision.

As for building a new life in a new city, as exciting as it is, it will be equally challenging. Plan everything to the last detail- finances, living arrangements, job, etc. Before you make the move, make sure both of you are financially independent and self-sufficient. That's the only way to tackle any hurdles.

My best advice is to make this decision very carefully and approach the situation with empathy for all parties involved. I urge you to be honest with your current partner, instead of ever resorting to gaslighting. This is on you, but it would be easy to pin this on your spouse. Don't take the easy route. Take the right one.

I hope things work out for you with no one getting irreparably hurt.

Best wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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