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Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

Colonel Sanjeev Govila (retd) is the founder of Hum Fauji Initiatives, a financial planning company dedicated to the armed forces personnel and their families.
He has over 12 years of experience in financial planning and is a SEBI certified registered investment advisor; he is also accredited with AMFI and IRDA.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 24, 2024Hindi
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My husband is 50 and I am 47. We have a combined income of 10 lakhs per month. Our kids are 17 and 14 yet to go to college. What should be our monthly savings? How should we diversify our funds? What is the retirement corpus we should have assuming that our present monthly expense is one lakh/ month on groceries, transport, school fees, travel, salaries etc

Ans: Dear Ma'am,

Without detailed financial information such as current investments and loans, I cannot provide an exact monthly investment figure for your retirement needs.

Assuming retirement in 10 years from now after children's education and other goals have finished or been catered for, you should aim to accumulate a corpus of at least Rs 4-5 crores. To achieve this, invest 2-3 lakhs monthly in SIPs. However, in the absence of all other data, this is a very rough figure.

Regularly review and adjust investments to stay on track towards your retirement goals. Consulting a financial advisor for personalized guidance based on your specific financial situation is recommended.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Moneywize

Moneywize   | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
I have Rs 1.2 crore in my bank account. My wife earns Rs 80,000 per month and I earn Rs 2 lakh per month. We have three children – two daughters and one son – who will need approximately 10 to 15 lakh each for their higher studies 7 to 12 years from now. How shall I go about meeting my children’s education goal and also plan for my retirement. My wife and I have about 15 and 7 years for our retirement.
Ans: It's great that you're thinking ahead for your children's education and your retirement! Here's a suggested plan to meet your goals:

1. Children's Education Fund:

• Since you have 7 to 12 years for your children's higher education, you can invest in relatively aggressive investment options like mutual funds or diversified equity funds. These have the potential to offer higher returns over the long term.
• Allocate a portion of your savings every month towards this goal. Considering inflation and assuming an average annual return of 10%, you would need to invest roughly Rs 20,000 to Rs 25,000 per month to accumulate the desired amount for each child's education.

2. Retirement Planning:

• Since you and your wife have 15 and 7 years left for retirement respectively, you'll want to focus on building a retirement corpus.
• Consider investing in a mix of equity and debt instruments to balance risk and returns. You can invest in mutual funds, provident funds, and Public Provident Fund (PPF) for a balanced portfolio.
• Aim to save at least 15-20% of your combined monthly income for retirement. Considering your current earnings, you can aim to save around Rs 50,000 to Rs 60,000 per month for retirement.

3. Asset Allocation:

Since you have a relatively long investment horizon for both goals, you can afford to have a higher allocation towards equities for potentially higher returns. As you approach your retirement age, gradually shift towards more conservative investment options to preserve capital.

4. Emergency Fund:

Make sure to maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 3-6 months of your combined living expenses. This fund should be readily accessible in case of unexpected expenses or emergencies.

5. Regular Review:

Regularly review your investment portfolio and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your financial situation, market conditions, and investment goals.

6. Professional Advice:

Consider consulting with a financial advisor to tailor a plan specific to your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment preferences.

By following this plan diligently and investing consistently over the years, you should be well-prepared to meet your children's education expenses and enjoy a comfortable retirement.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Money
We are family of 3 my husband 43 years myself 40 years my daughter 10 years .no loans monthly earnings approx 4 lakhs . We plan to retire at 55 years . Monthly expenses approx 1 lakh what should be our retirement fund considering my daughter education also .
Ans: No loans and a good monthly income of Rs 4 lakhs is a great foundation. Managing monthly expenses of Rs 1 lakh also shows disciplined financial habits.

Setting Retirement Goals
You aim to retire at 55, which is in 15 years. It’s crucial to assess your financial goals, including your daughter’s education and lifestyle after retirement.

Estimating Post-Retirement Expenses
After retirement, your expenses may change. While some expenses like commuting will reduce, healthcare and leisure might increase. Assume monthly expenses of Rs 1 lakh now. Post-retirement, adjusting for inflation, this could be around Rs 2.4 lakhs per month.

Accounting for Inflation
Inflation significantly impacts long-term financial planning. Assuming an average inflation rate of 6%, your current Rs 1 lakh monthly expense will need to grow to cover higher costs in the future.

Daughter’s Education Fund
Higher education costs are rising. Let’s estimate a fund for your daughter’s college education, considering current and future costs. A reputed Indian college might cost around Rs 25-30 lakhs today, which will likely increase over the next 8 years.

Building a Retirement Corpus
Given your retirement timeline, you need to build a significant corpus. This will support your lifestyle and healthcare needs. Your current earnings give you a solid base to start with.

Investment Strategy
Diversified Portfolio
Investing in a diversified portfolio is key. Consider equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Equities can offer higher returns, while debt provides stability. Hybrid funds balance the two.

Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds often outperform index funds in the long run. Professional fund managers adjust the portfolio based on market conditions, potentially offering better returns.

Regular Mutual Funds Through CFPs
Regular mutual funds, managed by a certified financial planner (CFP), can be advantageous. CFPs provide professional advice, helping you navigate market complexities and optimize returns.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund. It’s essential for unexpected expenses. Aim for 6-12 months’ worth of expenses in a liquid, easily accessible form.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate health and life insurance. Health insurance is critical, especially as you age. Life insurance protects your family’s financial future. Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies; pure insurance products are better.

Surrendering Unproductive Policies
If you hold LIC, ULIP, or investment-cum-insurance policies, consider surrendering them. Reinvest the proceeds into mutual funds. These policies often have high charges and low returns.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning can save money. Utilize tax-saving instruments under Section 80C, 80D, and others. Mutual funds like ELSS can help save tax while providing good returns.

Monitoring and Reviewing
Regularly monitor and review your investments. Financial goals and market conditions change. Adjust your portfolio as needed, ideally with the help of a CFP.

Early Retirement Considerations
Retiring early at 55 means your corpus needs to last longer. Plan for at least 30 years post-retirement. This requires a careful balance of growth and safety in your investments.

Role of Certified Financial Planners
CFPs offer expertise in creating a holistic financial plan. They help in choosing the right investments, optimizing returns, and ensuring your goals are met efficiently.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds adapt to market changes. Skilled managers can capitalize on opportunities and mitigate risks better than passive index funds. They also offer personalized investment strategies.

Addressing Direct Fund Disadvantages
Direct funds require individual management. They lack professional guidance, which can lead to suboptimal decisions. Investing through a CFP ensures professional management and better alignment with your goals.

Contingency Planning
Always have a contingency plan. Unexpected events can derail your financial plans. A solid contingency fund and insurance coverage provide a safety net.

Education Planning
For your daughter’s education, consider child-specific mutual funds. These funds are tailored to meet educational expenses, providing both growth and safety.

Retirement Lifestyle
Visualize your retirement lifestyle. Consider hobbies, travel, and other activities you wish to pursue. Budget for these, ensuring you have enough funds to enjoy your retirement fully.

Final Insights
Planning for retirement is a multifaceted process. It requires a balanced approach, considering various aspects like inflation, education, and lifestyle. Engaging with a certified financial planner can significantly enhance your financial journey, ensuring you meet your retirement goals comfortably.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  | Answer  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Hello, My current age is 42. Our combined post tax salary is around 6.25 lakhs. We have around 50L in mutual funds, 80L in direct stocks, 14L in gold, 30L in NPS, 31L in PPF, 21L in SSY and 2.5cr in real estate. Our current household expenses are around 1.5L per month and we are contributing 1L/month to NPS, 2L/month to SIP, 20K/month to direct stocks,1.5L/yr to PPF, I.5L/yr to SSY. We have an EMI of 50000/month for next 5 years .Our kids are 12 years and 10 years. We want a corpus of 4 cr for their higher education and of 1cr for their marriage. We are living in a company provided accommodation and plan to live in it till requirement.We want a 4L monthly pension and don't have a home right now. If we are planning to retire at 55, how should we manage our finances?
Ans: Hello;

Since NPS will be available only after you reach 60 and no info. about any rental income from real estate investment hence both are kept out of our purview.

1.Higher education goals for children typically start after 12th so we have 6 to 8 years for kid's education financial goal(4 Cr) attainment.

I have split it in two tranches:
A. 2 Cr after 6 years
B. 2 Cr after 8 years

For achieving target A following will work:
Direct stocks corpus of 80 L will grow into a sum of 1.5 Cr after 6 years. (Moderate return of 11% assumed)

PPF corpus and contributions will grow into a sum of 50 L+ after 5 years block when you may withdraw this corpus towards this goal. (6.9% return considered)

So 1.5 + 0.5=2 Cr

For fulfilling target B following will work:
MF corpus of 50 L will grow into a sum of 1.15 Cr after 8 years. (11% return considered)

50% of SSY corpus eligible for withdrawal expected to be around 27.85 L. (8% return assumed)

Direct stock monthly sip of 20 K will grow into a sum of 30.85 L in 8 years.(11% return considered)

Gold corpus of 14 L will grow into a sum of 24.05 L. (7% growth assumed)

So 1.15+27.85+30.85+24.05~~2 Cr

2. Target for Marriage of offspring:
1 Cr.
3. Retirement pension: 4 L per month
13 years from now.
Investible surplus left after all monthly investments utilized for fulfilling above targets should be immediately redirected to monthly SIPs in mutual funds. That includes 20 K direct stock sip, 12.5 K/pm SSY investment after 8 years from now and 12.5 K/pm PPF investment 5 years from now.

Also the 50 K getting free from loan EMI after 5 years should be converted into a mutual fund SIP.

After accounting for monthly expenses and monthly investments, from the balance 80 K, I would suggest you to deploy 50 K into MF sip since it will help in target achievement.

So summarily 12.5 K/8 yr, 12.5 K/5 yr, 20 K/5 yr, 50 K/8 yr and 250 K/13 yr will yield you a comprehensive corpus of 9.89 Cr. Add balance 50% SSY corpus of 27.5 L to this and your total corpus comes to 10.16 Cr. (MF returns assumed at a modest 11%)

Earmark 1 Cr for offspring wedding as envisaged.

Net retirement corpus will be 9.16 Cr. An immediate annuity at 6% will yield you a monthly income of 4.58 L from the age of 55 as planned.

You may use commutable corpus of NPS(60%) to buy your house. While NPS annuity portion(40%) may yield you a delta per month so as to have post tax income of 4 L per month.

This looks achievable because you have managed your finances and investments outstandingly well.

I discourage people to take direct stocks exposure especially when they are nearing the retirement but if you have the knowledge and temperament you may dabble into it subject to some minimum amount earmarked as risk capital.

I am sure you have adequate insurance cover for life and health.

Kudos again to your meticulous fiscal planning and execution.

Happy Investing!!

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 02, 2025

Money
Hi , I am 34 year old female, I have 2 kids ,girl is 5 yrs old and son is 1 year old . My husband and my combine monthly income is 2 lacs per month . I invest around 1.5 l in insurance and 10 k per month in mutual fund which I started last year only. Pls let me know how I should plan my investment for our kids education, marriage and retirement at age of 50
Ans: You have a strong foundation with stable income and early investment habits. Let us structure a 360-degree financial plan for your kids’ education and marriage, and your retirement at age 50.

Current Financial Snapshot

Combined monthly income: Rs 2 lakh

Insurance investments: Rs 1.5 lakh per month

Mutual fund SIPs: Rs 10,000 per month (started last year)

Children: daughter (5 years), son (1 year)

No mention of debt or property investments

You are off to a good start by investing early. Well done. Now we estimate your financial goals and align investments.

Clarifying Financial Goals

Children’s higher education (12–16 years ahead)

Children’s marriage (18–25 years ahead)

Retirement at age 50 (16 years from now)

Each goal has different timelines and risk-tolerance. We will build specific investment plans for each.

Review of Current Investments

Insurance-linked investments at Rs 1.5 lakh monthly

These plans mix insurance and savings, with low returns

Liquidity is often limited until maturity

Better returns and flexibility lie elsewhere

Suggested Action

Consider reducing or surrendering insurance savings

Replace with pure life and health insurance

Invest freed sums into goal-based mutual funds

Use regular plans via Certified Financial Planner, not direct

Regular plans include expert guidance and portfolio review

Goal-Wise Investment Strategy

Children’s Education Fund
Daughter needs funding in ~10–11 years

Son needs funding in ~16–17 years

Education cost will rise with inflation

Plan Steps

Start two separate education investment funds

Allocate Rs 7,000–10,000 monthly per child

Use actively managed equity and hybrid funds

Actively managed funds have proactive decision-making

These funds adjust allocations during market downturns

Regular plans via CFP come with review and advice

Children’s Marriage Fund
Daughter’s marriage in ~13–15 years

Son’s marriage in ~20–22 years

Plan Steps

Start separate wedding saving funds

Invest Rs 5,000–7,000 monthly each

Use hybrid and conservative equity funds

These funds balance growth and risk smoothly

Continue till goals approach for stable fund structure

Retirement by Age 50
You have 16 years to invest

Retirement required around age 50

Retirement Plan

Target withdrawal income after retirement

Allocate monthly SIP of Rs 20,000–25,000 toward retirement fund

Use actively managed mid-cap and large-cap equity funds initially

As retirement nears, gradually shift to hybrid/debt funds

Build a premium buffer (liquidity and stability)

Plan to draw via Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP)

SWP helps distribute gains and manage tax

Asset Zone Allocation

Equity funds: 60–70% for growth before goals

Hybrid funds: 20–30% for moderate stability

Debt funds/liquid funds: 10–20% for safety and emergency

This is a dynamic mix. Rebalance yearly as goals approach.

Emergency Fund & Liquidity

Maintain 6–12 months’ expenses as liquid reserve

Use liquid mutual funds (not savings accounts or gold)

Keep this fund outside for emergencies or sudden needs

Insurance Oversight

Keep pure term insurance for principal earner and spouse

Ensure adequate life cover for family protection

Maintain health cover with sufficient sum insured and family floater plan

This shields against health and life risks without tying up savings.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawal & Gains

Equity fund LTCG taxed above Rs 1.25 lakh at 12.5%

STCG taxed at 20% if sold before 12 months

For debt/hybrid funds, gains taxed as per your income slab

Plan withdrawals to minimise tax

Use SWP to spread income post-retirement

Review and Rebalance Protocol

Monitor each fund annually

Check performance, risk, allocation

Rebalance to rebalance asset weights

Swap underperforming funds

Certified Financial Planner helps with this

Tracking Progress and Adjustments

Update financial plan every year

Reset investment per child as goal nears

Gradually shift risk from equity to debt

Ensure retirement corpus remains on track

Goal-based tracking keeps plan relevant and resilient.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

Refrain from index funds (they lack active risk management)

Stay away from direct plans (no expert review)

Avoid tying up money in long-term life-insurance-linked plans

Do not rely solely on real estate for goals

Active funds via CFP give better guidance and security.

Summary of Monthly Investment Allocation

Children’s education: Rs 10,000–20,000

Marriages: Rs 10,000–15,000

Retirement: Rs 20,000–25,000

Insurance and contingency: as per need after reviewing current savings

These sums are adjustable each year based on performance.

Final Insights

You have good income and early investment habits. Now enhance with goal-driven, actively managed funds. Separate children’s education and marriage funds early. Boost retirement savings and invest smartly toward a stable corpus. Stick with regular plans through CFP for monitoring, rebalancing, and strategic advice. Secure pure life and health insurance. Keep liquidity for emergencies. Avoid index and direct funds to benefit from expert planning. This 360-degree plan offers growth, safety, and clarity for your family’s future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2025Hindi
Money
My husband and I together earn 5 lakh per month. We have two kids, 13-year-old and 6-year-old. We spend close to 4 lakh per child on their education. It increases 5 to 10% every year. We have one plot which is valued at some 1.5 crores right now. And another flat which we have recently bought for around 2.5 crores. We have loan of some 35 lakhs right now which we can close in next 2 years. Together we have some 70 lakh in provident fund and 1.2 crore in PPF other than that we have few lakhs worth of gold, gold bonds, in stocks, SIPs etc. total of all this would not be more than 30 lac. Btw My husband is 43 and I am 39. Pls help with financial planning for retirement.
Ans: You and your husband have built a strong foundation. However, with high educational expenses, rising costs, and your desire to retire comfortably, it is important to plan from a 360-degree view.

Below is a comprehensive and simplified retirement strategy for your family.

Understand Your Current Financial Strength
Combined income of Rs 5 lakh/month is solid.

Rs 70 lakh in PF and Rs 1.2 crore in PPF gives safety.

Property and plot are non-liquid but strong long-term assets.

Gold, stocks, and SIPs worth Rs 30 lakh need better allocation.

Outstanding loan of Rs 35 lakh is manageable with your income.

Education costs are high but predictable.

Let’s now break your planning into key areas.

1. Retirement Goal Planning
You are 39. You may want to retire by 58 or 60. That gives you 18–20 years to invest.

Important points to consider:

You will need minimum Rs 4–5 crore (in today’s value).

After inflation, you may actually need Rs 10–12 crore at retirement.

Medical cost after age 60 can be very high.

You need long-term wealth-creating instruments, not just safe ones.

Action steps:

Keep PPF and PF for debt stability. Don't withdraw early.

Increase SIPs systematically. Aim for Rs 1 lakh/month in 2–3 years.

Don’t invest in real estate now. It’s illiquid and difficult to exit.

Do not use direct mutual funds. You need regular plan via MFD with CFP support.

Don’t depend on index funds or ETFs. They copy the index, not beat it.

Actively managed equity mutual funds can outperform over time.

Use them through proper portfolio design with help of Certified Financial Planner.

2. Education Fund for Children
Your elder child is 13. College will start in 4–5 years.

For both children, you need:

Rs 1 crore each for higher education in India or abroad.

More if your children go for postgrad abroad.

Steps to prepare:

Create separate education portfolios for each child.

Use equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Shift to safer assets 2–3 years before actual usage.

Don’t mix children’s funds with your retirement funds.

Avoid ULIP, insurance-linked policies. They don’t create real wealth.

Don’t use gold or real estate as main sources for funding education.

3. Investment Optimisation
Let’s focus on where you should invest now.

Ideal future portfolio should include:

60–65% in equity mutual funds (actively managed, regular plans).

15–20% in debt mutual funds or PF/PPF/NPS for safety.

5–10% in gold bonds (already covered).

Keep 6 months of expenses as emergency fund in FD or liquid funds.

Rebalance portfolio once a year.

Your Rs 30 lakh outside PF/PPF can be invested as:

Rs 20 lakh in 4–5 diversified mutual funds.

Rs 5 lakh in short-term debt fund or liquid fund.

Rs 5 lakh in gold bonds if needed.

Don’t invest directly in stock market unless you can track and understand companies.

4. Loan Repayment Strategy
You are planning to close Rs 35 lakh loan in 2 years.

Things to remember:

Paying off the loan early is great for mental peace.

But don’t empty all liquid funds while doing it.

Keep Rs 10–15 lakh in FD or debt fund aside.

Use bonus or surplus income to part-pay loan gradually.

If interest rate is above 9%, prioritise early closure.

Don’t use gold, PF or PPF for loan closure.

Once loan is closed, you will free up big cashflow. Redirect this into SIPs.

5. Insurance & Risk Protection
Essentials for your family:

Term insurance for both you and husband – coverage minimum Rs 1.5 crore each.

Don’t use ULIP or endowment plans for investment.

Have family floater health insurance Rs 20–25 lakh.

Buy personal accident insurance for both of you.

Create a will and nominate properly across all accounts.

6. Monthly Budget and Savings Flow
Let’s structure your Rs 5 lakh income:

Rs 60–70k – household expenses

Rs 65–70k – school fees for 2 kids

Rs 50–60k – home loan EMI

Rs 50k – insurance + medical

Rs 20k – gold, travel, others

That leaves over Rs 1.5 lakh surplus. Use this surplus carefully.

Split it like this:

Rs 75k–1 lakh SIPs (via regular plan, actively managed funds)

Rs 25k–30k for debt fund/emergency fund

Rs 10–15k gold savings if needed

Rest for flexible spending or buffer

7. Avoid Common Mistakes
Don’t invest in real estate further. You already have enough.

Don’t buy policies that mix insurance with returns.

Don’t keep all money in PPF, FD or gold.

Don’t use index funds. They are not designed to beat market returns.

Don’t use direct plans. You will lose guidance and make poor fund choices.

8. What to Do Now (Immediate Next Steps)
Review SIPs. Increase them to Rs 1 lakh/month over 1 year.

Create separate SIPs for retirement and kids’ education.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner to build 2 goal-based portfolios.

Plan to invest 60–70% of your gold/stocks in better-managed mutual funds.

Get updated term and health insurance.

Set emergency fund of Rs 10 lakh minimum.

Finally
You have income strength and discipline. But your investments need structure.

Retirement planning is not just saving money. It’s creating the right flow, growth and safety.

Avoid distractions like property, index funds and direct plans.

Focus on your goals with expert help.

Invest via regular plans, through trusted CFP-backed MFDs.

Review every year and stay consistent.

You can retire well, educate both children fully, and live with dignity.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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