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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |642 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2026

Reetika Sharma is a certified financial planner and CEO of F-Secure Solutions.
She advises clients about investments, insurance, tax and estate planning and manages high net-worth individual’s portfolios.
Reetika has an MBA in finance from the Institute of Chartered Financial Analysts of India (ICFAI) and an engineer degree from NIT, Jalandhar.
She also holds certifications from the Financial Planning Standards Board India (FPSB), Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and Insurance Regulatory and Development Authority of India (IRDAI).... more
Prakash Question by Prakash on Apr 27, 2026
Money

Hello, This is prakash . I want to buy home in mumbai location. Having income of 5 lakhs per month. Out of which i saved around 1.52 crore. I dont have any loan till today . I belive to do everything should be done without loan so whenever i reach on particular amount then i go for it. But property is higher rate on mumbai location and i am trying to buy 2 bhk aprtment. And apart from F.D i dont have any other savings or mutual funds nothing only medical insurance having. Just suggest me how i can plan for aprtment and how i can plan for future of my daughter she is now in 9th class. Regards Prakash

Ans: Hi Prakash,

Firstly congratulations on building such a strong financial foundation. Earning ?5 lakhs per month with absolutely zero debt and accumulating a cash surplus of ?1.52 crore purely through disciplined savings is an incredible achievement.
Your principle of staying debt-free is also highly commendable.

As your daughter is in the 9th class, you have a strict timeline of exactly 3 to 4 years before she enters higher college education. Leaving your entire corpus in Fixed Deposits (FDs) means your money is likely losing purchasing power to real estate inflation and rising education costs.

As you have short-term, critical goals (buying a home soon and college fees in 3-4 years), you cannot afford high-risk equity markets for this entire amount. We need to split your savings to protect both goals.
>>> Daughter's Education Fund (Secure Immediately): Allocate ?40 lakhs from your current pool into highly secure, predictable instruments like Multi-Year FDs or Target Maturity Debt Funds. By the time she completes 12th grade, this will grow to roughly ?50 lakhs, ensuring her higher education is fully funded without touching your monthly salary or requiring an education loan.
>>> The Home Down-Payment Pool: This leaves you with ?1.12 crore purely for your property purchase.

Home Loan is considered as a good loan. And if you use even 75-80 lakhs from the 1.2 crores for down payment and take loan of the remaining amount, you can easily afford the monthly EMI form your income.
Invest remaining 40 lakhs in Equity and Hybrid mutual funds for your secured future and retirement.

Also focus on increasing your paper investments in instruments like bonds and mutual funds. This will help in creating liquid long-term wealth for you.

And do make sure to have a family floater health insurance for family. And since you're the sole bread earner, consider taking a proper Term Plan for yourself of minimum amount of 5 crores to secure your family.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 21, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir.I am 37 year male.I have 2 children.I am earning 85000 per month . Monthly expenses are 35/40 k I have saved 1) 15 lakhs in mutual funds 2) 5.5 lakhs in shares 3)7.5 lakhs in PPF 4)NPS IS SHOWING 16 LAKHS TOTAL WITH GOVT CONTRIBUTION 5)LIC JEEVAN ANAND WORTH 60 K PREMIUM IS RUNNING SINCE 2015 ,will mature on 2040. I AM LOAN FREE AT PRESENT. .I want to buy a house after 6 years which has 75 lakhs value in today market. How to maximum my savings for kids future education,marriage etc .Kindly tell.
Ans: To help you maximize your savings and achieve your goals, let's assess your current financial situation. We will evaluate your assets, investments, and future plans. We'll then provide a comprehensive strategy to help you save for your children's future education, marriage, and the purchase of a house.

1. Overview of Current Financial Position
Income and Expenses
Monthly Income: Rs 85,000
Monthly Expenses: Rs 35,000 to Rs 40,000
Net Savings per Month: Rs 45,000 to Rs 50,000
Current Savings and Investments
Mutual Funds: Rs 15 lakh
Shares: Rs 5.5 lakh
PPF: Rs 7.5 lakh
NPS: Rs 16 lakh (including government contribution)
LIC Jeevan Anand: Premium of Rs 60,000 annually, maturing in 2040
2. Investment Evaluation
Mutual Funds
Your investment in mutual funds indicates a good start. Mutual funds offer diversification and professional management. They can potentially provide good returns, which is beneficial for long-term goals.

Strengths: Mutual funds can offer higher returns compared to traditional savings options. They are managed by professionals, reducing the need for you to make day-to-day investment decisions.

Risks: Mutual funds are subject to market risks. The performance depends on the market conditions and the fund manager’s decisions.

Shares
Investing in shares shows an inclination towards direct equity investment. This can offer high returns but comes with higher risk.

Strengths: Direct investments in shares can provide significant capital appreciation.

Risks: Shares are volatile. Lack of diversification and market fluctuations can impact your returns.

PPF
Your Public Provident Fund (PPF) investment is a safe option with guaranteed returns and tax benefits. It’s a good long-term investment for building a secure corpus.

Strengths: PPF offers safety, tax benefits, and a fixed interest rate. It’s a good tool for long-term savings.

Risks: The returns are lower compared to equity investments. The interest rate is subject to change based on government policies.

NPS
The National Pension System (NPS) is a retirement-focused investment. It provides a mix of equity and debt, which is beneficial for long-term growth.

Strengths: NPS offers tax benefits and is designed for retirement savings. It combines equity and debt investments, providing balanced growth.

Risks: NPS has restrictions on withdrawals before retirement. The returns can vary based on the market performance of the underlying assets.

LIC Jeevan Anand
The LIC Jeevan Anand policy is a combination of endowment and life insurance. It provides both savings and insurance benefits.

Strengths: It offers life coverage along with a savings component. The policy benefits can be used for future financial needs.

Risks: The returns on LIC policies are generally lower compared to market-linked investments. The policy matures in 2040, which might be too long for your immediate goals.

3. Strategy for Buying a House
Goal Setting
You plan to buy a house worth Rs 75 lakh in 6 years. This requires careful financial planning to accumulate the necessary funds.

Savings Requirement: Calculate the total amount needed for the house purchase, considering a down payment and any additional costs.
Investment Strategy
To maximize your savings for the house purchase, consider the following steps:

Increase Monthly Savings: With Rs 45,000 to Rs 50,000 savings per month, allocate a portion specifically for the house fund. Increase your savings rate if possible.

Diversify Investments: Consider investing in a mix of mutual funds and fixed-income options to achieve growth while maintaining safety.

Equity Mutual Funds: Continue investing in equity mutual funds for higher returns. Choose funds with a strong performance history and align with your risk tolerance.

Debt Instruments: Allocate a portion of your savings to fixed deposits or other debt instruments for safety and stability.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Increase your SIP contributions in mutual funds if feasible. This will help in accumulating a larger corpus over time.

4. Planning for Children's Future
Education and Marriage
Your financial goals include saving for your children’s education and marriage. Here’s how to approach this:

Education Fund: Start a dedicated education fund for your children. Use a mix of equity mutual funds and debt instruments to ensure growth and stability.

Marriage Fund: Create a separate fund for your children’s marriage. Invest in long-term growth options to build the required corpus.

Investment Vehicles
Mutual Funds: Invest in growth-oriented mutual funds for long-term goals. Diversify across various funds to spread risk.

PPF and NPS: Continue investing in PPF and NPS for tax benefits and secure growth. Use these instruments to build a portion of your children’s future funds.

5. Optimizing Your Financial Plan
Review and Adjust Investments
Regular Reviews: Periodically review your investments and financial plan. Adjust based on performance and changes in your financial situation.

Rebalancing: Rebalance your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Tax Efficiency
Tax Planning: Utilize tax-saving investments and deductions. Ensure you’re maximizing the benefits from instruments like PPF, NPS, and mutual funds.
6. Final Insights
To achieve your goals of buying a house, funding your children’s education, and marriage, follow these steps:

Increase Savings Rate: Allocate a significant portion of your monthly savings towards your house fund.

Diversify Investments: Use a mix of equity mutual funds, debt instruments, and secure savings options to grow your wealth.

Dedicated Funds: Create separate funds for your children’s education and marriage to ensure you meet these future expenses.

Regular Reviews: Continuously review and adjust your financial plan to stay on track with your goals.

By following this comprehensive approach, you will enhance your chances of achieving your financial goals and securing your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2025
Money
Hello Sir, I am 40 years old. My income is 1 lakh per month. Currently, I have a personal loan running at the rate of 13.25%. After paying prepayment and EMI, I have Rs 248547 left to pay. Apart from this, I have two more loans of Rs 80000 and Rs 200000 running without interest rate. HDFC Bank will levy penalty on prepayment of these. In my savings, I have Mutual Funds of Rs 12000 per month, PPF of Rs 1000 per month and LIC of Rs 110308 and Term Plan of Rs 20000 per year and Health Insurance Policy of Rs 20000 per year. My family consists of my wife and me. How do I plan to buy a house in future?
Ans: You have already taken a few disciplined steps which deserve appreciation. Your monthly savings in mutual funds, PPF, and insurance plans show commitment. You are also aware of your loan obligations. This clarity is important for long-term wealth creation and goal planning.

Let us now structure a 360-degree financial roadmap to help you plan for a house purchase in the future. This plan will ensure balance between loan repayment, savings, and future commitments.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
You are 40 years old. Your household consists of you and your wife.

You earn Rs 1 lakh per month. This is your only source of income.

You have three loan liabilities. One is a personal loan of Rs 2.48 lakhs at 13.25% interest.

Other two loans of Rs 80,000 and Rs 2 lakhs carry no interest. But, prepayment penalty exists.

You invest Rs 12,000 monthly in mutual funds.

PPF contribution is Rs 1,000 monthly. This gives safe and long-term tax-free returns.

LIC policy of Rs 1,10,308 exists. Also, you have a term insurance of Rs 20,000 per year.

Health insurance premium of Rs 20,000 annually is also in place.

Step 1: Focus on Clearing High-Interest Debt First
Personal loan has the highest interest at 13.25%. Clear this loan first.

Avoid new investments till this loan is cleared. Your return from mutual funds is not guaranteed.

But your interest on the personal loan is guaranteed loss of 13.25%.

Pause SIPs temporarily, and divert that Rs 12,000 monthly towards personal loan prepayment.

Even pausing for 6-9 months will reduce your loan burden significantly.

This will also improve your credit score. Which will help in getting better home loan offers later.

Do not prepay zero-interest loans right now. Their prepayment penalty adds no value.

First, clear personal loan. Then revisit the other two loans.

Once this is done, restart your SIPs with a better mindset and structure.

Step 2: Review and Optimise Insurance Commitments
Term insurance of Rs 20,000 per year is ideal. Do not discontinue it.

You have health cover for Rs 20,000 annual premium. Please check sum insured.

Minimum Rs 10 lakh floater policy is advisable. Medical costs rise every year.

If your policy is under 5 lakh, consider upgrading it in future.

You hold a LIC policy of Rs 1,10,308. Most likely this is an endowment or traditional policy.

Such policies give poor returns, between 4 to 5% post-tax. Returns are not inflation-beating.

It also locks your money for long periods.

Please assess surrender value from your LIC agent.

If your policy is older than 3 years and surrender value is decent, consider surrendering it.

Reinvest that amount in mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).

Insurance should be only for protection. Never mix investment with insurance.

Step 3: Restructure and Reassess Monthly Investments
After clearing personal loan, reassign the Rs 12,000 SIP amount properly.

You should invest in regular mutual funds with help from a qualified CFP and MFD.

Avoid direct funds. Direct plans lack handholding, market timing, and asset rebalancing support.

A certified planner gives holistic asset allocation advice, goal planning and emotional support.

Also avoid index funds. Index funds follow market blindly. No downside protection during market crash.

Actively managed funds can outperform during volatility. A good fund manager makes a difference.

Structured allocation among flexi-cap, large and mid-cap, and multi-asset is best suited for you.

Debt funds for short term needs. Hybrid or equity for long term goals like house purchase.

All this should be personalised through a planner, not based on online trends.

Step 4: Set a Clear Time Frame for House Purchase
You must decide when you want to buy the house.

If your goal is to buy within 2-3 years, avoid equity-based instruments for this goal.

Use high quality debt mutual funds or recurring deposit to build down payment.

Your EMI eligibility depends on income, credit score, existing loan burden and age.

After personal loan closure, your CIBIL score will improve.

You can save Rs 20,000 to Rs 25,000 monthly post-loan repayment.

Save this into a dedicated goal-based mutual fund or recurring deposit for house purchase.

If the time horizon is 5-7 years, balanced advantage or hybrid mutual funds are suitable.

These offer better returns than FD and lesser risk than pure equity.

Your down payment target should be at least 25% of the house cost.

Do not commit EMI more than 35-40% of your monthly income. Keep it comfortable.

Plan for additional costs like registration, interiors and moving expenses.

Also keep emergency fund ready before taking the house loan.

Step 5: Create Emergency Reserve
You must keep an emergency fund of minimum 4-6 months of expenses.

This fund helps in medical emergency, job loss or delay in loan processing.

Emergency fund can be kept in a liquid mutual fund or high yield savings account.

This reserve should be available before you take a home loan.

Avoid touching your PPF for emergencies. PPF is for long-term retirement planning.

Step 6: Optimise Your PPF Contributions
Rs 1,000 per month in PPF is a good start.

If you get bonus or extra cash in hand, increase this to Rs 5,000 to Rs 10,000 monthly.

PPF gives tax-free returns and is best suited for retirement planning.

This can become your future pension pool when you retire at 60.

Do not use PPF to fund the house. Let it grow silently in background.

Step 7: Build Your Credit Worthiness for Home Loan
Close all high-interest loans as discussed earlier.

Keep all EMIs paid on time without default. This improves your credit score.

Avoid taking new credit cards or loans in short term.

Keep your existing credit usage within 30% of card limit.

When applying for home loan, a clean credit history gets you best rate offers.

With high credit score, your home loan interest rate will be lower.

A lower interest rate reduces EMI burden and total outflow.

Step 8: Estimate Property Budget and EMI Affordability
Do not fix the property budget first. First assess EMI affordability.

With Rs 1 lakh income, EMI should not cross Rs 35,000 to Rs 40,000.

Plan your house cost in a way where down payment is 25% and EMI is within limits.

Take a home loan only when you are mentally and financially ready.

Avoid rushing into real estate out of pressure or comparison.

A house is not an investment. It is a utility and emotional asset.

Invest only after all other goals are aligned properly.

Step 9: Post-Loan Strategy for Wealth Creation
Once the house is purchased, continue mutual fund SIPs.

Have separate portfolios for retirement, emergencies and future goals.

Do not over-leverage your income with too many EMIs.

As income rises, increase SIPs accordingly.

Review portfolio every year with a CFP.

Stay focused on asset allocation. Avoid chasing hot schemes or trends.

Retirement planning should not get delayed due to house buying decision.

Your wife should also be part of the financial planning discussion.

Financial planning is not about products. It is about achieving your life goals.

Final Insights
You have financial awareness. That itself is your biggest strength.

Clearing personal loan is your first and most urgent priority.

Surrendering traditional insurance plan and redirecting to mutual funds can create more wealth.

Regular mutual fund investments through a CFP will give long-term structure to your portfolio.

Buying a house is a big goal. But it should not derail your other life goals.

Make sure you build an emergency fund, protect your health and optimise your taxes.

Stay consistent, plan ahead and follow a disciplined approach.

A 360-degree financial strategy is about balance, not chasing returns.

With proper steps, your home dream can become reality in a few years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  | Answer  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, Me and my wife are 39 years old, our total in hand income from salary is 1.3 lakhs. I have a car loan EMI of 28100, 4 yrs left in tenure. We have personal loan EMI of total of 25k monthly and 4 yrs remaining. We have invested in 3k monthly in PPF and 6k monthly SIP in MF (both of us incuded). We pay rent of 26k per month. Our kid is 2.5 yrs old and we have put him in daycare as we have to go office. Daycare expenses are 9k per month, including his 3 times meal. Petrol expenses are 7k per month (have to take our own car as using public/shared/office transport takes additional 1 hr to an fro from office). Broadband and moble connection together costs us 2.2k per month and Electricity is 1.8k per month. Remaing amount is spent in Groceries+Misc. We dont have any gold/own house/land/parents house or any savings left nor do we have any cash left. We dnt have any insurance for neither of us. Our child is growing and we need money for his education and futue, we need to buy a home for ourself. How to plan for our child's education and future and our retirement and our income and our future.
Ans: Dear Deepankar,
At 39, with a child and heavy EMIs, focus first on stability. Get term insurance (?1 crore each) and family health insurance (?10–15 lakh). Build a 3-month emergency fund by cutting discretionary spends. Consider refinancing loans to reduce monthly EMIs. Pause SIPs temporarily; restart once debts ease. Shift to a more affordable rental if possible. Delay home buying until finances improve. Track every expense and optimize where possible. Later, restart SIPs for your child’s education and your retirement. Discipline and clear priorities now will secure your family's financial future. Consult a financial planner to structure goals and investment strategy effectively.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2025
Money
Dear Sir, I am 37 years old, having a income of 1.05L per Month. I have 2 Kids with 7 & 4 year old. I have invested in insurance(Ulip- approx 3.5L per annum & Term - 55k).I'm planning to Buy a land of Rs.35 Lakh in Few months with help of Personal loan. I have a savings of approx 8L. I have also invested in Stock which around 2.25L. Now I'm looking for my Baby girl(7) Higer education planning which Could come Approx 75L-1Cr in next 10 Years. Please suggest me how to plan this. Regards
Ans: You are 37 years old, earning Rs. 1.05 lakh per month.

You have two daughters aged 7 and 4.

You are paying Rs. 3.5 lakh yearly on a ULIP. That’s about Rs. 29,000 monthly.

You are paying Rs. 55,000 yearly for a term plan. This is good to keep.

You have savings of Rs. 8 lakh and stocks worth Rs. 2.25 lakh.

You plan to buy land for Rs. 35 lakh using a personal loan.

You want to plan Rs. 75 lakh to Rs. 1 crore for elder daughter’s education in 10 years.

Problems in Current Financial Plan
ULIP is an expensive product. It combines insurance and investment.

These two goals must always be kept separate.

Personal loan for land is not advisable. It creates EMI pressure.

Land will not help you with education expenses after 10 years.

Direct stock exposure is risky. Your goal needs safety with growth.

Immediate Steps to Take
Surrender your ULIP. You are paying a high cost every year.

After 5-year lock-in, most ULIPs give very poor returns.

Use the maturity or surrender value for education investment.

Keep the term plan. It’s a must for your family’s protection.

Avoid personal loan for land. It will affect cash flow and savings.

Reallocate Existing Assets
From your Rs. 8 lakh savings, keep Rs. 3 lakh as emergency fund.

This should cover 6 months of family expenses.

Balance Rs. 5 lakh can be invested for your daughter’s education.

Stock portfolio of Rs. 2.25 lakh can also be shifted to safer mutual funds.

Don’t take new risks for long-term goals.

Investment Plan for Daughter’s Education
You need Rs. 75 lakh to Rs. 1 crore in 10 years.

Start monthly SIP of at least Rs. 25,000 in mutual funds.

Prefer multicap and flexicap funds with long-term performance.

Choose regular mutual funds with support of a Certified Financial Planner.

Increase SIP by 10% every year to match income growth.

Whenever you get bonus or gift money, invest that as lump sum.

Why Mutual Funds Work Better Than ULIPs
ULIPs charge policy allocation, mortality, and fund management fees.

Your actual investment amount is much lower than premium.

Fund choices inside ULIPs are limited and non-transparent.

Mutual funds are more flexible and transparent.

SIPs in mutual funds allow you to invest monthly, review quarterly, and exit smartly.

Avoid Direct Mutual Funds
Direct funds look cheaper but come with no guidance or review.

You may stop SIPs during market fall due to fear.

Investing through regular mode with CFP gives discipline and rebalancing support.

Even a 0.5% difference in cost is worth the long-term guidance.

Reduce Financial Stress
Cancel your land purchase plan for now.

A personal loan will add high-interest EMIs.

Use your income wisely to focus only on your daughter’s education.

Your current income can support the education goal comfortably if planned well.

Keep These Things in Mind
Review your investments every 6 months with help of a CFP.

Keep your stock portfolio small and diversified.

Emergency fund should not be used for investment or land.

Don’t get into new insurance-cum-investment schemes.

Avoid peer pressure while planning land or property purchases.

Mutual Fund Taxation (When Redeeming Later)
Long-term capital gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh in equity funds are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

Plan your redemption in stages during the last 2–3 years of the goal.

This will help you save tax and reduce market risk.

Your 10-Year Roadmap
Stop ULIP. Surrender it and shift to mutual funds.

Drop personal loan plan for land. It is a financial burden.

Start SIP of Rs. 25,000 per month now and grow it yearly.

Use Rs. 5 lakh from savings + Rs. 2.25 lakh stock for education.

Have Rs. 3 lakh kept aside in emergency savings.

Track and review this plan regularly.

Plan for second daughter after elder daughter’s goal is fully on track.

Finally
Your intentions for your children’s future are strong and admirable.

Right now, focus only on your elder daughter’s education.

Keep life simple. Avoid mixing insurance and investments.

Mutual funds through a CFP are your best wealth-building option.

Land and personal loans can wait. Education goal cannot.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ravi Mittal  |738 Answers  |Ask -

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Relationship
Hi, I am 58 Yr old Male with 29 yrs into arranged marriage. I have 2 daughters. I am being treated like a stranger in my own house. My wife does not give respect, no value, no love and affection care. Always negatives talking about me for everything. Not listen to any thing regarding family or personal matters. I am not earning much. I am doing my best doing business services. For everything I need basic amount to manage my business until it develops. There is no support for this from my family. Instead of supporting and motivating me, She is always negative about me. She knows I am not earning enough and unable to meet major transactions. She has come from a wealthy family were as I am not. She has helped in providing financial support many times. Now past 3-4 yrs, her behavior has changed. She taunts and blames me for she providing the financial support. Whatever she has provided is always used for family. she knows that. I am unable to focus on my business development. She's gives negative feedback about me to my daughters and they also behave same with me, Instead of supporting and motivating me. There is no intimacy or sex past 1 year. Hardly 1 once in a month earlier, after I force (make positive effort) her lovingly. I love her very much. But this is making me lose that love & affection on her. In our 29 yrs of marriage, she never initiated intimacy, love. Always I been doing it. She never shows interest in getting physical right from 1st day. She has not kissed me even once or hugged me voluntarily in these 29 yrs. I initiate everything. I am romantic. She is not. She gives one or the other reason and avoids. She avoids kissing. She never liked gifts i bought for her. I want her to wear different dresses, but she rejects. Though we sleep on same bed, she just sleeps off. When i go to her, either she pushes or says she has to wake up early sleep now. Even with so many days gap, when I initiate intimacy after 1-3 months, but she taunts saying I only want that from her. I have been hugging, kissing and showing love, affection care on her right from the 1st day of marriage. The same thing is missing from her. I have tried many times talking to her in polite way, trying to woo her, but of no use. I have approached many times we can have one on one talk and sort out any issues she has with me, but she avoids coming into talking terms. I have tried to talk saying lets understand whats going wrong. If I start generally talking, she starts arguing, negative talking and avoids the main discussion that forces me to shut my mouth. when we go out on a 2-3 day trip, she enjoys outing seeing places, food & sleep. Doesn't behave romantically, lovingly. It's just like same as at home. Even I know I am not earning much and trying best to do well. She always keep telling about her money and financial support and her parental house with arrogance & attitude. She has been good with her parental side, but not my side. I believe both husband and wife should take care of family together irrespective of who is more financially strong. Just because I am not earning well, this type of treatment I don't understand. If it was recent few yrs I can understand. But right from day one I have been facing this. Now I've stopped talking much and in silence going through loneliness.
Ans: Dear Prashanth,
I understand that it has been quite difficult for you. After 29 yrs, feeling unwanted, unsupported and criticized can leave anyone extremely lonely. Your problem sounds a lot bigger than just lack of intimacy. There are long-standing communication issues, and both emotional and financial issues. This cannot be solved with romance alone. The better step is to stop pursuing intimacy for now, since your partner is uninterested, and instead focus on having a structured conversation, such as, "Are you willing to work on this marriage, to make it better?" If she refuses to discuss these things with you, I suggest seeing a marriage counsellor; it will be an impartial party looking into the matter, without supporting one over another.

Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |12512 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2026
Career
my daughter has secured admission in CSE-AI at IGDTUW .Going by the reputation of the institute she withdrew from BITSAT,JOSAA, LNMIIT and MHT-CET counselings. But now after attending the college for few days, she has been completely put off by the real bad infra and attitude of teachers there.Only viable option left now for her is COMEDK, where she can get CSE in MSRIT.We are delhi based and budget is not a issue. Please suggest further course of action.
Ans: Your daughter may consider switching to MSRIT CSE through COMEDK if her initial experience at IGDTUW has led her to reassess her choice. MSRIT offers good industry exposure and the advantage of Bengaluru’s strong technology ecosystem. However, it would be advisable to visit MSRIT and interact with current students before making the final decision.

Please also verify the current COMEDK counselling and reporting status, as deadlines and eligibility can vary by round. Before proceeding, confirm that her specific counselling status permits admission/reporting at MSRIT.

At the same time, it is important to remember that no institution is perfect; every college has its own strengths and areas for improvement. The decision should therefore consider academics, campus environment, faculty interaction, placements, peer group, location and overall student experience.

Finally, ensure that your daughter is comfortable and mentally prepared to relocate from Delhi to Bengaluru, and that you as parents are also equally comfortable with the transition. If MSRIT appears to offer a better overall fit after this evaluation, switching can be a reasonable option. If possible, it may be worthwhile to keep RVCE CSE as a preference until the final counselling round, provided your daughter has already included RVCE CSE among her choices. If the option remains available in the subsequent rounds, she can consider it based on the seat availability and her merit position. All The Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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