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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
archana Question by archana on Apr 29, 2025
Money

Sir We bought a flat 4 yr ago with 67 lakhs with loan amount of 50 lakhs, recently we sell gold worth 25 lakhs and clear all personal loans and debts. Now we are planning another flat worth 95 lakhs with loan amount 80 lakhs...so now we have 2 home loans ..can we continue the 65 lakhs flat for rent 20 k or we sell the flat .total salary 1.6 lakhs per month . We have car loan also .

Ans: You have shown good intent by selling gold and clearing your debts.

Still, this new flat purchase needs careful review from all angles.

Let us assess your full situation and suggest a balanced, long-term approach.

This answer looks at every part of your current financial life.

Current Home and Existing Loan
Your current flat was bought for Rs.67 lakhs four years back.

Out of that, you took a loan of Rs.50 lakhs.

The current rental income is around Rs.20,000 per month.

This rent gives about Rs.2.4 lakh per year.

Rental yield is quite low in comparison to your loan EMI.

Real estate often gives rental returns of only 2–3% per year.

But your home loan interest is around 8%–9% yearly.

This gap creates a burden on your cash flow.

Keeping this flat only for rent may not be financially helpful.

Your Salary and Existing Loan Burden
Your total salary is Rs.1.6 lakh per month.

That is good, but needs proper budget management.

You already have one home loan and one car loan.

A second home loan of Rs.80 lakh will be a big load.

Two home loans and one car loan will stretch your EMI ratio.

Your EMI commitment may cross 60% of salary.

This makes day-to-day life stressful and risky.

Banks also limit eligibility if EMIs cross 50–60% of salary.

New Flat Plan – Is It Suitable Now?
You are planning a flat of Rs.95 lakh with Rs.80 lakh loan.

This is a big jump from your earlier flat price.

Loan EMI alone may be around Rs.65,000 to Rs.70,000 per month.

Managing this EMI along with old loan EMI and car EMI is difficult.

Plus, other expenses, bills, and savings will also need cash.

Property tax, maintenance, and interiors will need extra funds.

With your current salary, this may cause heavy strain.

And if job loss or emergency happens, the risk is high.

It is better to delay this second flat unless cash flow improves.

Keeping or Selling Existing Flat – What Is Better?
The rental income of Rs.20,000 is very low against the cost.

EMI, maintenance, and tax on that flat reduce actual returns.

Also, resale value after 4 years may not be very high now.

Selling the flat can help reduce your home loan burden.

You can use the sale amount to reduce new flat loan or invest.

Or, if you cancel new flat purchase, use funds for better financial goals.

Think about whether you need two flats at this stage.

A second flat gives low returns and blocks your liquidity.

Instead, one good home and mutual fund investments give better results.

Alternative to Property – What You Can Do Instead
With your surplus from salary, start investing in mutual funds.

Mutual funds are flexible, tax-efficient, and transparent.

Returns from mutual funds over long term are higher than rent.

You can start SIPs as per your risk level and goal duration.

Equity mutual funds help in wealth building.

Hybrid and debt mutual funds support safe and steady growth.

Please use regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

Avoid direct mutual funds. They give no review or correction support.

Direct funds also cause wrong asset mix and poor fund selection.

Gold Sale and Use of Funds – Was It Wise?
You sold gold worth Rs.25 lakh and cleared debts.

That was a good step. You have reduced bad loans smartly.

But don’t use all your assets for property again.

It is important to keep a balance across asset classes.

Use some gold money for liquid funds or emergency corpus.

Use part for mutual fund investments based on future goals.

Avoid repeating same mistake of taking high loan again.

Emergency Reserve and Liquidity Planning
Every family must keep 6–9 months of expenses as emergency fund.

This must be in liquid mutual funds or bank deposits.

If all money is in property, you can't access during emergency.

So, avoid locking all savings into the second flat.

Liquidity is safety. Not having cash causes problems even with assets.

Build an emergency fund of Rs.3–4 lakh minimum.

Car Loan – Should You Clear or Continue?
You also have a car loan now.

This is a depreciating asset. It does not grow in value.

Try to close this loan early if possible.

Paying high interest for car EMI reduces your savings.

Don't upgrade car or take new loan unless income rises.

Family and Future Needs – Are They Covered?
Property alone cannot secure your future.

You need to plan for child’s education, retirement, and emergencies.

Insurance protection is also needed for your family.

Take proper health insurance and term insurance.

Don’t rely only on property as financial backup.

Mutual fund SIPs and debt funds give support for long-term goals.

Important Financial Ratios to Watch
EMI to salary ratio should be under 40%.

Loan to asset value should not cross 60%.

Your current plan crosses both these limits.

Two home loans and a car loan may block your growth.

Keep your fixed obligations flexible and manageable.

What You Can Do Now – Practical Steps
Postpone the second flat purchase for now.

Recheck your actual need and affordability.

Consider selling the first flat if it has poor rental yield.

Reduce loan burden and improve monthly cash flow.

Build strong SIPs and liquid investments.

Don’t lock all assets in property and loans.

Close car loan if funds allow.

Keep emergency cash ready in liquid funds.

Do not buy any more real estate unless income doubles.

Finally
You are financially aware and want to grow smartly.

But growth should not come with pressure and debt risk.

A second flat may look attractive but may block your liquidity.

Wealth creation should focus on balance, not just ownership.

Mutual funds give better flexibility and higher long-term returns.

Keep reviewing your goals with a Certified Financial Planner.

Stay invested, stay liquid, and stay peaceful.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
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Hi , I am 44 yrs old and having working wife and two son of 17 yrs & 5 yrs... elder son is down syndrom.. joint monthly take home is 2 lacs.. having 85 lacs of mutual fund.. 18 lacs in PPF, 32 lacs in EPF, & around 25 lacs in others like FD, saving, shares etc.. monthly saving around 1.2 lacs including 75K SIP, 18K PPF, 25K EPF etc... Having Own home at my native place.... Want to know that should I go for new Flat purchase at location where I am residing in rented house of monthly 14K excluding electricity or continue my investment in place of Home loan... I hv opted new tax slab and my wife is in old tax... my target to have 15 CR at the age of 60
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
Income and Savings
Your combined monthly take-home income is Rs. 2 lakhs. Your current savings include:

Mutual Funds: Rs. 85 lakhs
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 18 lakhs
Employees’ Provident Fund (EPF): Rs. 32 lakhs
Other Investments (FD, Savings, Shares): Rs. 25 lakhs
Your monthly savings distribution is as follows:

SIP in Mutual Funds: Rs. 75,000
PPF: Rs. 18,000
EPF: Rs. 25,000
You live in a rented house with a rent of Rs. 14,000 per month.

Evaluating the Decision to Buy a New Flat
Current Housing Situation
Living in a rented house at Rs. 14,000 per month is relatively affordable, especially given your high monthly income. Renting provides flexibility and lower maintenance costs compared to owning.

Financial Impact of Buying a New Flat
Purchasing a new flat would involve a significant financial commitment, including a home loan, maintenance costs, property taxes, and other associated expenses. This would reduce your investable surplus and potentially impact your ability to meet your financial goals.

Comparative Analysis: Rent vs. Buy
Renting: Offers flexibility, lower upfront costs, and avoids long-term debt.
Buying: Provides stability and potential appreciation in property value but requires a large financial commitment and ongoing expenses.
Long-term Financial Goals
Target: Rs. 15 Crores by Age 60
To achieve your target of Rs. 15 crores by age 60, you need to focus on maximizing your investments' growth while maintaining a balanced risk profile.

Current Investments and Growth Potential
Mutual Funds: Your Rs. 85 lakhs in mutual funds can grow substantially with continued SIPs and market performance.
PPF and EPF: These provide stable, long-term growth with tax benefits, contributing to your retirement corpus.
Other Investments: FDs, savings, and shares add diversification but should be reviewed for optimal growth potential.
Investment Strategy
Enhancing SIP Contributions
Continuing and potentially increasing your SIP contributions will leverage the power of compounding. Focus on a mix of equity and debt funds to balance growth and risk.

Recommendation: Consider increasing your SIP by a percentage each year to keep pace with inflation and maximize returns.
Diversification and Rebalancing
Ensure your portfolio is diversified across various asset classes to minimize risk and optimize returns. Periodically review and rebalance your portfolio to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Recommendation: Include large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds for equity exposure. Balance with debt funds for stability.
Utilising Tax-efficient Investments
Maximize your contributions to tax-efficient instruments like PPF and EPF. These not only provide stable returns but also offer significant tax benefits.

Recommendation: Continue maximizing your PPF contributions and ensure your EPF contributions are optimized.
Emergency Fund Management
Maintaining a robust emergency fund is crucial. Your current Rs. 25 lakhs in FD and savings can be used to cover unexpected expenses.

Recommendation: Keep at least 6-12 months of living expenses in easily accessible liquid assets.
Estate Planning and Insurance
Life and Health Insurance
Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage for your family, especially considering your elder son's needs. This will protect your family's financial stability in case of unforeseen events.

Recommendation: Opt for a comprehensive health insurance plan and term insurance for sufficient coverage.
Estate Planning
Create a comprehensive estate plan, including a will, to ensure your assets are distributed according to your wishes and your family is taken care of.

Recommendation: Consult a legal expert to draft a will and set up any necessary trusts.
Education and Future Planning for Children
Special Needs Planning
Given your elder son's Down syndrome, consider creating a financial plan that ensures his long-term care and support.

Recommendation: Look into setting up a special needs trust and explore government schemes and benefits available for children with disabilities.
Education Fund for Younger Son
Start a dedicated investment plan for your younger son's education. This can include child-specific mutual funds or education-focused investment plans.

Recommendation: Allocate a portion of your monthly savings towards an education fund.
Final Insights
Given your strong financial position and disciplined saving habits, you are well on your way to achieving your long-term goals. However, buying a new flat at this stage might not be the best financial decision if it significantly impacts your investment capacity.

Focusing on growing your investment portfolio and maintaining a balanced, diversified approach will help you accumulate the desired Rs. 15 crores by age 60. Ensuring adequate insurance coverage and planning for your elder son's special needs will further secure your family's future.

Stay disciplined with your investments, periodically review your portfolio, and make adjustments as needed to stay on track. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice and help optimize your financial strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Seeking financial advice. I'm 32 years old with Two kids of 6 yrs and 1 yr old. I have home loan of 45 lakhs and have around 40L of savings(including some ULIP and shares) in hand. I have thoughts of using this 40L as down payment for a second apartment and get 90L additional loan(around 1.5 cr property). But i have second thoughts of using this savings (40L+) to close the existing loan. What is the wise choice. My and wife are earning 3.4L/month takehome. We stay in rented house for 45k/month for different reasons and the home loan flat is rented out for 25k(income added in above mentioned earnings). If I close my loan, i have to stay in rented house for 3 more years to save this 40L to purchase a new flat 3 years later.
Ans: Your decision involves balancing between debt management and investment. With a home loan of Rs. 45 lakhs, Rs. 40 lakh savings in hand, and plans to buy a new flat, it’s important to assess all angles. Your combined monthly income is strong at Rs. 3.4 lakh, and your first property generates rental income of Rs. 25,000. Let's evaluate your options and find a financially sound solution.

Should You Close the Existing Loan?
Benefits of Loan Repayment:

Immediate debt reduction removes a financial burden and brings peace of mind.
Savings on interest payments can result in long-term financial gains.
With higher disposable income, you can accelerate savings for the next property.
Opportunity Cost of Closing the Loan:

Using Rs. 40 lakh for repayment means locking liquidity into a property asset.
You lose out on potential returns from other investment avenues like mutual funds or equities.
Without the loan, you still have to pay Rs. 45,000 monthly rent, leaving less cash to build wealth over three years.
Buying a Second Property with Rs. 40 Lakh Down Payment
Advantages of Property Investment:

Real estate provides capital appreciation over time and generates rental income.
You can diversify your portfolio by acquiring another tangible asset.
Tax benefits on the second home loan could further improve cash flows.
Challenges of a Second Home Loan:

A 90-lakh loan adds to your debt burden, impacting financial flexibility.
High EMIs can strain cash flow despite your current income.
If property prices remain stagnant, your investment may underperform.
Evaluating the Rent vs. Ownership Trade-Off
You currently pay Rs. 45,000 in rent but earn Rs. 25,000 from the rented flat. This results in a net rent outflow of Rs. 20,000.
If you close the loan and continue renting for three more years, you will lose liquidity now but gain debt-free ownership.
On the other hand, buying a second property may seem attractive, but it involves high financial commitment through EMIs and potential market risks.
Smart Strategies for Optimal Financial Decisions
Avoid Locking All Savings into Real Estate:

Instead of exhausting your entire Rs. 40 lakh savings, keep a portion for emergencies and investments.
Split Your Savings Purposefully:

Use half your savings (Rs. 20 lakh) to partially prepay the existing loan. This will reduce EMIs and improve cash flow.
Invest the other half in mutual funds and equities for higher returns over three years. This ensures liquidity if a property opportunity arises.
Delay Second Property Purchase by 2–3 Years:

Focus on closing or reducing your current home loan in stages.
With improved cash flow, build a corpus for a bigger down payment later, reducing loan dependency.
Benefits of Partial Prepayment and Investments
Prepaying Rs. 20 lakh reduces interest liability and EMIs. The remaining loan can be cleared faster with future savings.
Investing Rs. 20 lakh provides growth potential, ensuring you have adequate liquidity when needed.
Keeping some funds in diversified mutual funds ensures your wealth grows steadily over the next few years.
Final Thoughts
Closing your home loan with Rs. 40 lakh is tempting, but it reduces your financial flexibility. Taking on a second large loan can also stress your finances, especially with your family’s needs in mind. A balanced strategy of partial prepayment and investment allows you to reduce debt while keeping liquidity for future opportunities.

This approach provides stability, flexibility, and growth, ensuring you are well-prepared to buy a second property when the time is right.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Money
Hello sir. My age is 41 . I have taken a different loan stage wise as need. My salary is 72000 and loan+credit card bill is around 68000 so it is very difficult to manage it. I have home loan of 18000 emi Personal loan emi 18800 pending emi 50 Personal loan EMI 11500 pending emi 24 Personal loan EMI - 4000 pending emi 30 Two wheeler loan EMI 3400 pending emi 12 Credit card due is 100000 I have buy 1 BHK flat on 4 th floor before 11 year as it market value remain same so I think to sell out for clear some due So it is advisable or not. Is any bank/institute/financial support is in market to provide a single loan to clear all your different loan n we need to clear only one EMI ???
Ans: Your current financial situation involves high debt obligations relative to your income. Managing these efficiently is crucial to improve cash flow and financial stability. Let us address the situation step-by-step and evaluate your options for reducing debt stress.

Current Financial Snapshot
Income: Rs 72,000 per month.

EMI Obligations: Rs 68,000 monthly across home, personal, and two-wheeler loans.

Credit Card Debt: Rs 1,00,000 outstanding balance.

Assets: A 1 BHK flat purchased 11 years ago, with little to no appreciation.

Challenges in Your Financial Scenario
High Debt-to-Income Ratio: A significant portion of your income goes towards EMIs.

Multiple Loans: Managing several EMIs increases stress and creates inefficiency.

Flat’s Value Stagnation: Limited appreciation in your flat reduces its utility as an investment.

Assessing the Sale of Your Flat
Potential Benefits
Clearing Debt: Selling the flat can reduce or eliminate some debts.

Cash Flow Relief: Reduced EMIs can provide more breathing room for monthly expenses.

Simplification: With fewer loans, managing your finances becomes easier.

Potential Risks
Loss of Asset: Selling the flat reduces your property portfolio.

Market Conditions: Stagnant market value may not yield significant proceeds.

Rent Costs: If you sell, you may need to spend on rent, impacting cash flow.

Considerations Before Selling
Assess the flat’s current market value and selling potential.

Calculate the total debt you can clear with the sale proceeds.

Evaluate the impact on future living arrangements and rental costs.

Exploring Debt Consolidation
Single Loan to Replace Multiple Loans
Many banks and NBFCs offer debt consolidation loans.

A single loan replaces all your current debts.

You pay only one EMI, making it easier to manage finances.

Benefits of Debt Consolidation
Lower EMI: Consolidation can reduce overall EMI through extended tenure.

Reduced Interest Rates: Personal loans and credit cards have high interest rates. A consolidated loan may offer lower rates.

Simplified Management: Fewer payment schedules reduce the risk of missed EMIs.

Key Considerations
Evaluate the total cost, including processing fees and interest.

Check your eligibility and credit score for better loan terms.

Avoid taking new loans after consolidation to prevent a debt spiral.

Reducing Credit Card Debt
Immediate Actions
Prioritise paying off your credit card balance due to high interest rates.

Convert the outstanding balance into an EMI option if your bank allows.

Avoid using credit cards until the balance is cleared.

Long-Term Management
Use credit cards only for essentials and pay full balances each month.

Set spending limits to ensure better control over usage.

Optimising Your Budget
Reduce Expenses
Categorise expenses and cut non-essential spending.

Use public transport or carpooling to reduce travel costs.

Review utility bills and optimise usage to lower costs.

Create a Debt Repayment Plan
List loans by interest rate and tenure.

Focus on high-interest loans like personal loans and credit cards first.

Use any bonuses or windfalls to prepay loans.

Generating Additional Income
Renting the 1 BHK Flat
If selling the flat is not feasible, consider renting it for extra income.

Use the rent to reduce EMI pressure or build a repayment fund.

Freelancing or Part-Time Work
Explore freelance opportunities that match your skills.

Use additional income to pay off debts faster.

Alternatives to Consider
Restructuring Loans
Approach your lenders to restructure loans with extended tenure or reduced EMI.

Ensure that restructuring terms are affordable and sustainable.

Balance Transfer
Transfer high-interest personal loans to lenders offering lower interest rates.

Use this to reduce overall interest burden and EMI.

Benefits of Working with a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner can provide a customised debt repayment plan.

They help manage finances effectively while maintaining focus on long-term goals.

Guidance ensures disciplined execution without additional debt accumulation.

Final Insights
Selling your flat can clear significant debt, but consider rental costs and market conditions. Debt consolidation can simplify EMIs and reduce interest costs, but evaluate its feasibility. Focus on paying high-interest loans first, optimise expenses, and explore additional income streams. Avoid accumulating further debt to regain financial stability. A structured approach will help you achieve long-term financial freedom.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi, I am having Outstanding Home loan amount for my first purchased flat as 9 Lacs.(EMI 21500) Recently I constructed bungalow by taking Home loan for land and constructions as 25 Lacs and 45 Lacs respectively (EMI 23000 and 32000). Thus my current outstanding for both the properties is 79 Lacs. I rented my first flat and living in new constructed bungalow. The rent amount is equal to flat EMI. Is it advisable to sell the flat (Selling price 50 Lacs) to clear the debt and continue the Outstanding loan of 29 Lacs (79Lacs - 50 Lacs) ? Or continue the existing loans and clear the debt early by prepayment's?
Ans: Your current debt of Rs 79 lakh is significant. Selling your first flat could reduce your loan burden by Rs 50 lakh, leaving Rs 29 lakh outstanding. However, decisions should align with long-term goals, affordability, and potential returns.

Here’s a breakdown to help you decide:

Option 1: Sell the Flat and Reduce Debt
Advantages:
Lower Debt Burden: Reduces loans to Rs 29 lakh, significantly decreasing EMI obligations.
Better Cash Flow: Frees up monthly cash for other financial goals or investments.
Reduced Interest Cost: Paying off Rs 50 lakh immediately lowers overall interest payments, saving a substantial amount.
Disadvantages:
Loss of Asset Growth Potential: Real estate prices may appreciate over the years. Selling might mean losing future capital appreciation.
No Rental Income: Selling eliminates the passive income that currently covers your flat’s EMI.
Option 2: Retain Both Properties and Focus on Prepayments
Advantages:
Asset Appreciation: You retain ownership of both properties, benefiting from potential price appreciation over time.
Rental Income: Ongoing rental income can contribute to paying off the flat’s EMI, keeping cash flow stable.
Disadvantages:
High Debt Pressure: Managing a Rs 79 lakh loan requires disciplined budgeting and significant prepayments to reduce interest costs.
Interest Accumulation: Continuing with high debt over the long term increases total interest paid.
Recommended Approach
Selling the Flat May Be Better If:
You prioritise reducing stress from high debt.
You don’t foresee substantial appreciation in the flat’s value.
Clearing a large portion of your debt aligns with your financial comfort.
Retaining the Flat May Be Better If:
You can afford current EMIs and have surplus funds for regular prepayments.
The flat is in a location with strong appreciation potential.
Passive rental income is a key component of your financial plan.
Practical Advice
Evaluate Loan Interest Rates: Check the interest rates for both loans. Prioritise prepaying the one with the highest rate.
Review Budget: Assess whether prepayments are feasible without compromising financial security.
Consider Property Market Trends: Evaluate the appreciation potential of your flat before deciding to sell.
Seek Professional Guidance: A Certified Financial Planner can assess your risk tolerance, long-term goals, and cash flow needs to offer tailored advice.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |602 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025
Relationship
Why do men ghost after sex? I met this amazing guy on Hinge. He was 27, well-mannered, and worked in a data firm in Mumbai. We spoke daily for three months and had amazing chemistry. From music to food, we discussed everything under the sun. We went on a couple of dates to get to know each other. When we got comfortable, we got intimate and eventually had consensual s** at his friend's house party. One week after we got intimate, he just vanished. No replies, no calls. It was my first time, so I kept wondering if I had done something wrong to upset him. My friend says it could be post-intimacy guilt. But I feel embarrassed, ashamed. I can't shake off the shame. Did I move too fast? Is this how dating works now? How can I go back to feeling normal again?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry you are going through this. What happened is just as confusing as it is hurtful. Let’s get one thing straight, you did nothing wrong. You are not at fault here. Nothing you could’ve done or said should or could cause this reaction.
Coming to your first question, it is very difficult to answer it without generalizing all men. But some of the most reasons for this could be:
He got what he wanted. It sounds crass but in most cases, this is the truth. He had no intentions of being more than just that.
He might be avoiding responsibility. He didn’t want more, and the mature thing would have been to sit down and have that discussion with you. But, maturity isn’t easy and he chose the easy route, that is to ghost. His decision to disappear is a reflection of his nature, not yours.
Coming to what your friend said, it could be that too, but the chances are slim. Some men do feel overwhelmed but disappearing for over a week is a stretch. Again, it’s his unreadiness to feel so many emotions, not yours.
Now, I want to gently nudge you towards one thing: you said you feel ashamed. Shame creeps in when you hold yourself accountable for someone else’s actions. And also due to societal prejudice. Keep both aside, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Did you move too fast? To be honest, there is no fast or slow in these things. There’s no set timeline. You did what you felt was right in the moment. And you were ready to step up, but he went MIA. The entire unfortunate turnout is not because of your pace but his lack of respect. Even if he comes up with a good enough reason for this disappearing act, I still want you to remember that not even for a second, you had anything to create this situation.


I hope this helps.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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