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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Vadi Question by Vadi on May 14, 2025
Money

I am 42 yrs old ,married with 2 sons of age 4 yrs and 1 yrs. I am an engineer and worked in 2 African countries for 2 yrs. I have FD of 20 lakhs. Can u suggest whether I should continue my FD or invest in any kind for my future expenses. I am currently working in India having income of 16 lacs per annum and income tax deduction of 90000 per annum and I don't have any sort of LIC policy or investment. Please suggest how to move forward with my FD, income tax and savings for my future.

Ans: You are 42, married, with two young sons. You have a stable income of Rs. 16 lakhs per annum and Rs. 20 lakhs in fixed deposits. Since you have no other investments or insurance, this is the right time to take a 360-degree approach to secure your family’s future and build wealth.

Let’s go step-by-step.

 

 

1. Emergency Fund Must Come First
 

Keep at least 6 months of expenses as emergency fund.

 

This gives you safety if income stops suddenly.

 

In your case, Rs. 2.5 to 3 lakhs is a good start.

 

Park this in a sweep-in FD or liquid fund for better liquidity and returns.

 

Do not mix emergency fund with long-term investments.

 
 
2. Use Fixed Deposit Smartly

 

Right now, your FD is the only investment.

 

FD interest is taxable fully as per your slab.

 

In your case, 30% tax eats into FD returns.

 

Instead of keeping full Rs. 20 lakhs in FD, divide it wisely.

 

Keep 3 lakhs for emergency.

 

Shift the rest to long-term growth options gradually.

 

Use a phased withdrawal strategy.

 

Don’t break the FD all at once.

 

Plan monthly STPs (Systematic Transfer Plans) from FD to mutual funds.

 

This reduces market risk and avoids timing mistakes.

 
 
3. Tax Saving Options That Also Build Wealth

 

You have Rs. 90,000 tax deduction.

 

But your total tax benefit can go up to Rs. 1.5 lakhs under 80C.

 

You are not using the full limit.

 

This can be corrected easily.

 

Choose Public Provident Fund (PPF) for guaranteed tax-free corpus.

 

Lock-in is 15 years.

 

You can open it in your name or spouse’s name.

 

Invest Rs. 60,000 to Rs. 80,000 per year here.

 

Balance 80C can go into ELSS (tax-saving mutual funds).

 

These have 3-year lock-in and good long-term returns.

 

PPF gives safety, ELSS gives growth.

 

This combo balances your risk well.

 
 
4. Protecting Family Comes Next

 

No life insurance right now is risky.

 

With two small kids, protection is vital.

 

Buy a term insurance of minimum Rs. 1 crore immediately.

 

Term plan gives large cover at low cost.

 

Don’t mix insurance with investment.

 

No LIC endowment, no ULIP.

 

Only pure term cover.

 

Take health insurance of at least Rs. 10 to Rs. 15 lakhs.

 

Check if your employer gives full family cover.

 

Even then, take your own policy outside employer plan.

 

If you change job, employer cover may go.

 

Start own health cover now to avoid issues later.

 
 
5. Starting Investments Systematically

 

Your FD can act as seed capital.

 

SIP is the best tool to start investing.

 

Begin with Rs. 20,000 to Rs. 30,000 monthly.

 

Diversify across mutual fund types.

 

Don’t invest full money in small caps.

 

Use a good mix of large, mid, small and hybrid.

 

Flexi cap fund gives freedom to move between segments.

 

Contra fund gives contrarian growth approach.

 

Avoid index funds as they don’t beat markets in all cycles.

 

Actively managed funds can give better alpha over long term.

 

Let a Certified Financial Planner help you choose.

 

Investing through MFD with CFP ensures tracking and rebalancing.

 

Regular funds offer better service and guidance than direct plans.

 

In direct, no expert supports your journey.

 

Saving Rs. 500 in expense ratio can lose you lakhs in poor decisions.

 
 
6. Plan for Your Sons’ Education

 

Your sons are 4 and 1.

 

You have around 14 to 17 years to plan.

 

This is long enough to use equity.

 

Open a separate SIP for their education.

 

Start with Rs. 5,000 to Rs. 10,000 per child.

 

Increase every year as income grows.

 

This creates a dedicated, untouched fund for higher education.

 
 
7. Retirement Planning Should Start Now

 

You are 42.

 

15 to 18 years left for retirement.

 

Don’t wait till late 40s.

 

Create separate retirement SIP.

 

Start with Rs. 15,000 monthly.

 

Use mix of equity, hybrid and NPS.

 

NPS gives extra tax benefit under Section 80CCD(1B).

 

Up to Rs. 50,000 extra deduction.

 

Tier-1 NPS has lock-in till 60 but helps build discipline.

 

Don’t depend only on PF or pension.

 

Use mutual funds for wealth creation and flexibility.

 

Use NPS for long-term compounding and tax benefits.

 
 
8. Other Useful Suggestions

 

Track your expenses for 3 months.

 

This helps understand your surplus clearly.

 

Don’t keep credit card dues unpaid.

 

Pay full bill every month.

 

Keep 2 to 3 months’ expenses in savings account.

 

Review investments once a year.

 

Increase SIPs when you get hike or bonus.

 

Don’t stop SIPs if market falls.

 

That’s the time wealth gets created.

 

Don't fall for quick return schemes.

 

Follow a goal-based approach.

 

For every goal, assign an investment bucket.

 

No LIC policy means you are free to invest smarter.

 

Avoid endowment and ULIP plans always.

 

Only pure term cover and mutual funds.

 
 
9. Understanding Taxation of Mutual Funds

 

Equity mutual fund gains up to Rs. 1.25 lakhs are tax free.

 

Above Rs. 1.25 lakhs, LTCG taxed at 12.5%.

 

STCG on equity funds taxed at 20%.

 

Debt mutual funds gains taxed as per slab.

 

FD interest fully taxable as per slab.

 

Mutual funds are more tax-efficient than FD.

 

This makes them better for long-term wealth building.

 
 
Finally

 

You have good income and no bad loans.

 

You can save more than most families.

 

FD should not be your only option.

 

Build a mix of safety, insurance, tax saving, and long-term growth.

 

Start small, but stay consistent.

 

With the right plan, you can meet all family goals easily.

 

Take help from a Certified Financial Planner for customised planning.

 

Always follow long-term discipline over short-term greed.

 
Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
 
Chief Financial Planner,
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2024Hindi
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Hi Ramalingam, I am 26 earning 78k per month as salary Having investment in FD: 2.5lakh RD:2500per month (started dec 2023) SBI conta fund 2000 monthly started (dec 2023) SBI small cap:2000 per month (started nov 2023) SBI bluechip fund: 2000 per month (started nov 2023) SBI multicap fund: 2000 (started nov 2023) And started contributing in PF as well from last year, deposited 1.5lakhs Are my investments are on track or where and how much shall I invest to attain financial freedom at the age of 40-42 ? I also want to buy a car soon. Kindly suggest.
Ans: It's great to see that you've started investing at a young age and are thinking about your financial future. Here are some suggestions to help you achieve your goals:

Review Your Portfolio: Evaluate the performance of your existing investments periodically and ensure they are aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Emergency Fund: Consider building an emergency fund equivalent to 3-6 months' worth of expenses. This fund will provide a financial cushion in case of unexpected expenses or loss of income.

Diversification: While it's good to have investments in mutual funds and recurring deposits (RD), consider diversifying your portfolio further. Explore other asset classes such as equity, debt, real estate, and gold to spread risk and enhance returns.

Goal-Based Investing: Define your financial goals clearly, including milestones like buying a car and achieving financial freedom by age 40-42. Allocate your investments accordingly to meet each goal within the desired timeframe.

Investing for Retirement: Since you aim to achieve financial freedom by age 40-42, focus on building a substantial retirement corpus. Consider investing in long-term wealth creation instruments like equity mutual funds, PPF (Public Provident Fund), NPS (National Pension System), and EPF (Employee Provident Fund).

Car Purchase: If you plan to buy a car soon, start setting aside a portion of your savings towards this goal. You can either save up the entire amount or consider taking a car loan, depending on your financial situation and preferences.

Budgeting: Track your income and expenses regularly to ensure you're living within your means and allocating sufficient funds towards savings and investments.

Financial Planning: Consider consulting with a financial advisor to create a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your goals, risk profile, and investment horizon. They can help you optimize your investment strategy and make informed decisions.

Remember to stay disciplined with your savings and investments, avoid impulsive spending, and continue learning about personal finance to make informed decisions. With prudent financial planning and consistent efforts, you can work towards achieving financial freedom and realizing your goals.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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I’m at 39 and I don’t have any liability now . I have a FD of 30 lacs . I wish to invest this fund for a retirement income from 50 years for me . 1. Is it good to continue the FD ? 2. Any good retirement plans / investment options which can give a decent monthly income / pension Kindly suggest .
Ans: Planning Your Retirement Income at 39: A Multi-pronged Approach
That's fantastic planning for your retirement at 50! Let's explore ways to potentially maximize your retirement income, going beyond just FDs.

FDs for Retirement:

Safety and Guaranteed Returns: FDs offer guaranteed returns and are a safe option. But, interest rates may not always outpace inflation, reducing purchasing power in the long run.
Retirement Planning Options:

Equity Mutual Funds (MFs): These offer the potential for higher growth compared to FDs, but also involve market risks. Actively managed equity MFs involve experienced fund managers who try to pick stocks to outperform the market. Actively managed funds come with higher fees compared to passively managed funds.

Debt MFs: Provide stability and regular income, which can be helpful for supplementing your pension.

Building a Balanced Portfolio with SWPs:

Mix of Equity and Debt: A well-diversified portfolio with equity and debt MFs helps manage risk and provides growth potential with some income generation.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Once you near retirement, consider an SWP from your equity MFs. SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly, using the fund's corpus and any capital appreciation. This can generate a steady income stream throughout your retirement.

Increase Debt Allocation Over Time: As you approach retirement, gradually shift your portfolio towards debt MFs to preserve your corpus and generate regular income.

SIP (Systematic Investment Plan): Invest regularly in MFs through SIPs to benefit from rupee-cost averaging and potentially ride out market volatility.

Maximizing Your Retirement Income:

Employee Provident Fund (EPF): If you are salaried, utilize your EPF for retirement benefits.

National Pension System (NPS): Consider NPS, a government-backed pension scheme, for tax benefits and potential long-term growth.

Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your portfolio (at least annually) and rebalance as needed to maintain your target asset allocation.

Seeking Professional Guidance:

Personalized Plan: A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can create a personalized retirement plan considering your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and desired retirement income. They can recommend a suitable asset allocation, suggest specific actively managed funds based on your needs, and guide you on implementing a strategic SWP strategy.
Remember:

Discipline is key to reaching your retirement goals.

Start investing early to benefit from compounding.

By combining these strategies and seeking professional advice, you can work towards a secure and comfortable retirement with a steady income stream!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi
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Heloo I am 38 yrs old . I have a 2.5 yrs old and my wife and my parents . My salary is 1.13 lacs per month. Have 1 car loan of 6 lacs . My investment are as follows : 1. 8.64 lacs in MF which amounts to 15.9 lacs 2. LIC yearly 1 lac 3 . 1 term life insurance 4 . 1 ppf 1k monthly that amounts to 2.13 lacs as of now. 5 .1 NPS 2k monthly That amounts to 1.5 lacs if now . 6 . Emergency fund of 6 lacs . 7 . Supper annuation of 10 lacs. What to do more for future of my child and also for us in older age
Ans: I appreciate your detailed question. It's clear that you care deeply about your family's financial future. Let's explore how we can strengthen your financial position, ensure your child's future, and secure your retirement.

Current Investments Overview
You have diversified your investments, which is excellent. Here's a breakdown:

Mutual Funds: Rs. 8.64 lakhs, now worth Rs. 15.9 lakhs.
LIC: Annual premium of Rs. 1 lakh.
Term Life Insurance: This is crucial for your family's security.
PPF: Rs. 1,000 monthly, current value Rs. 2.13 lakhs.
NPS: Rs. 2,000 monthly, current value Rs. 1.5 lakhs.
Emergency Fund: Rs. 6 lakhs.
Superannuation: Rs. 10 lakhs.
You also have a car loan of Rs. 6 lakhs. Let's see how we can optimize these and plan for your child's future and your retirement.

Enhancing Your Child's Future
Your child is 2.5 years old, giving you about 15-20 years to save for education and other needs. Here's a plan:

Increase Mutual Fund SIPs
Your mutual fund investments have grown well. Increase your monthly SIPs in diversified equity mutual funds. This helps in accumulating a substantial corpus over time due to the power of compounding.

Education and Marriage Funds
Start two separate SIPs: one for education and one for marriage. Estimate the future costs and work backward to determine the SIP amount needed. Use an inflation rate of around 6-8% for calculations.

Strengthening Retirement Planning
You're 38 now, so you have about 22 years until retirement. Let's ensure you have a comfortable retirement.

Increase NPS Contributions
NPS is a good option for retirement. Increase your monthly contributions. This not only builds your retirement corpus but also provides tax benefits.

Boost PPF Contributions
PPF is a safe investment with decent returns. Increase your monthly contributions to maximize the Rs. 1.5 lakh annual limit. This will provide a tax-free corpus on maturity.

Consider Retirement-Focused Mutual Funds
Invest in retirement-focused mutual funds. These funds are designed to provide long-term growth and stability. Diversify across different categories like large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds for balanced growth.

Addressing Your Car Loan
Your car loan of Rs. 6 lakhs is a liability. Here are some steps to manage it:

Accelerated Repayment
Consider making extra payments towards your car loan. This reduces the interest burden and helps in clearing the debt faster.

Balance Transfer
If your current loan interest rate is high, explore balance transfer options to a lower interest rate loan. This saves on interest costs.

Optimizing Existing Investments
Let's review your existing investments for better returns and efficiency.

Review LIC Policy
LIC policies often provide lower returns compared to mutual funds. Evaluate the surrender value and consider switching to mutual funds for better growth.

Emergency Fund
Your emergency fund of Rs. 6 lakhs is adequate. Ensure it's kept in a liquid instrument like a high-interest savings account or a liquid mutual fund.

Superannuation Fund
Your superannuation fund is a great asset. Ensure you're aware of its benefits and how it fits into your overall retirement plan.

Creating a Comprehensive Financial Plan
Asset Allocation
Diversify your investments across different asset classes. This reduces risk and enhances returns. A balanced portfolio could include equity, debt, gold, and alternative investments.

Regular Review
Review your financial plan annually. Adjust based on changes in your life, market conditions, and financial goals.

Risk Management
Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance. Your term life insurance is good. Review the sum assured periodically. Ensure you have a family floater health insurance plan covering all members.

Estate Planning
Plan for the distribution of your assets. Draft a will to ensure your assets are distributed as per your wishes. Consider setting up a trust if needed.

Final Insights
Financial planning is a continuous process. By taking proactive steps now, you ensure a secure future for your family. Increase your SIPs, manage your liabilities, and regularly review your investments. This will help you achieve your financial goals effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
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My salary 2.4 lac per month. I am 42 my wife and two son comprising of my family. One son is in 5th standard and other yet to start education. I have 2 house emis of 1.6 lacs of which one generates rent of 40k per month. Have around 50 lacs in investment comprising of 20lac in ppf and rest in stocks and sips and mfs. Only have company health insurance and no term insurance. Schooling cost is 1.2 lacs per annum. Rest expenses includes holiday every 6 months and daily needs. Please help me sort out investment to ensure I can generate enough to retire in next 10 years?
Ans: You have a solid foundation, and it’s commendable that you are managing two home loans while balancing various investments. Your monthly salary of Rs 2.4 lakhs and an EMI burden of Rs 1.6 lakhs shows you are carrying significant financial responsibility. However, generating Rs 40,000 from rent is helping reduce the impact of your EMIs.

Key highlights:

Monthly salary: Rs 2.4 lakhs
Two house EMIs: Rs 1.6 lakhs
Rent: Rs 40,000 per month
Investment portfolio: Rs 50 lakhs (Rs 20 lakhs in PPF, rest in stocks, SIPs, and MFs)
Annual schooling cost: Rs 1.2 lakhs
Other expenses: Holiday every 6 months, daily needs
No term insurance
Company health insurance only
While you have done well to invest Rs 50 lakhs, the lack of term insurance and the heavy EMI burden may be areas for improvement. Your goal of retiring in 10 years is achievable, but some adjustments will be necessary to optimize your portfolio and secure a comfortable future.

Investment Strategy Review
Let’s break down your current investments to better align them with your retirement goal in the next 10 years.

PPF (Public Provident Fund) - Rs 20 Lakhs
The PPF is a safe, long-term investment with tax benefits, but its returns are relatively modest. Over the next 10 years, this will continue to grow at a steady pace.

Action Plan:

Keep contributing to your PPF but avoid putting additional large sums.
PPF should be treated as part of your safe, low-risk portfolio.
Stocks, SIPs, and Mutual Funds (Rest of Rs 30 Lakhs)
Your exposure to equities through stocks and mutual funds will help you generate growth, but it needs diversification and regular review. SIPs in actively managed funds are ideal for long-term goals like retirement.

Action Plan:

Actively managed mutual funds: Ensure that the mutual funds you are invested in are diversified across sectors and are actively managed.
Avoid direct funds: Regular funds provide better tracking and advice from an MFD with CFP credentials, which is crucial for your long-term planning.
Review your stock portfolio: Individual stocks carry more risk than mutual funds. It is wise to regularly assess performance and sell off underperforming stocks.
Balance with debt funds: Include some debt funds for stability, especially as you approach your retirement goal.
Rental Income from Property
Your rental income of Rs 40,000 per month is a significant contributor to offset your EMIs. While real estate is not recommended as a new investment option, your existing property generating income can support your cash flow needs.

Action Plan:

Rent reassessment: Ensure you are getting market rent or consider raising it over time to adjust for inflation.
No additional real estate investments: Avoid tying more capital into real estate. Focus on growing your financial portfolio instead.
Critical Areas for Improvement
1. Lack of Term Insurance
It’s essential to secure your family’s future in case of any unexpected event. Currently, you do not have term insurance, which is a vital part of any financial plan.

Action Plan:

Immediate term insurance: Buy a term plan covering at least 10-12 times your annual income. This will ensure your family is financially secure if something happens to you.
2. Health Insurance Coverage
You rely on company-provided health insurance. This is risky, as you may lose coverage if you switch jobs or retire early. Having separate family health insurance will ensure consistent protection.

Action Plan:

Buy individual health insurance: Get family floater health insurance with adequate coverage for your entire family, ensuring lifelong renewability.
Supplemental critical illness cover: Consider adding critical illness coverage to protect against major health expenses.
3. EMI Management
You have significant EMIs totaling Rs 1.6 lakhs per month. While one property generates rental income, the overall EMI burden is high. Managing this will be crucial for freeing up cash flow for further investments.

Action Plan:

Prepay EMIs: Any surplus income should go toward prepaying your loans, starting with the one without rental income. Reducing this burden will ease your cash flow.
No additional loans: Avoid taking on any further debt to ensure your financial plan stays on track.
Retirement Planning
You aim to retire in 10 years, at age 52. With your current lifestyle and goals, your investments will need to provide enough to cover your post-retirement expenses. Here’s a strategy to ensure a comfortable retirement:

1. Estimate Future Expenses
Your current schooling costs are Rs 1.2 lakhs per year, and other living expenses include vacations and daily needs. Over the next 10 years, expenses will increase due to inflation, and you must account for these future costs when planning your retirement.

Action Plan:

Create a detailed budget: Track all your current expenses and project them for the next 10 years, considering inflation. This will give you a clearer picture of your financial needs after retirement.
2. Build a Retirement Corpus
With 10 years to go, you will need to create a solid retirement corpus. The Rs 50 lakhs you currently have, along with further investments, will need to grow substantially. Here’s how to optimize this growth:

Action Plan:

Increase SIP contributions: Start contributing more to your SIPs as soon as your EMI burden reduces. A higher SIP contribution in actively managed mutual funds will provide better growth potential over the next decade.
Diversify investments: Include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds to ensure a balanced risk-return profile. Actively managed funds, especially those recommended by a certified financial planner, will perform better than index funds or ETFs.
Regular portfolio review: Work with a certified financial planner to review your portfolio annually. Ensure your funds are performing as expected and make necessary adjustments.
3. Plan for Post-Retirement Income
After retirement, you will need a reliable source of income to meet your monthly expenses. Your investments must be structured to provide regular income, adjusted for inflation.

Action Plan:

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP): Set up SWPs in mutual funds to provide a regular, inflation-adjusted income post-retirement.
Emergency Fund: Set aside a portion of your corpus in a liquid fund for emergencies. This will ensure you don’t have to liquidate long-term investments prematurely.
Final Insights
To achieve your goal of retiring in 10 years, you will need to fine-tune your investment strategy and reduce your EMI burden. Your current investments, while substantial, require diversification and a focus on growth-oriented funds.

Additionally, securing term insurance and individual health insurance is critical for protecting your family’s future. By prepaying your loans and increasing SIP contributions over time, you will be better positioned to build a retirement corpus capable of supporting your post-retirement lifestyle.

Finally, always remember that regular reviews with a certified financial planner are key to staying on track and adjusting for any changes in your financial situation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |602 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025
Relationship
Why do men ghost after sex? I met this amazing guy on Hinge. He was 27, well-mannered, and worked in a data firm in Mumbai. We spoke daily for three months and had amazing chemistry. From music to food, we discussed everything under the sun. We went on a couple of dates to get to know each other. When we got comfortable, we got intimate and eventually had consensual s** at his friend's house party. One week after we got intimate, he just vanished. No replies, no calls. It was my first time, so I kept wondering if I had done something wrong to upset him. My friend says it could be post-intimacy guilt. But I feel embarrassed, ashamed. I can't shake off the shame. Did I move too fast? Is this how dating works now? How can I go back to feeling normal again?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry you are going through this. What happened is just as confusing as it is hurtful. Let’s get one thing straight, you did nothing wrong. You are not at fault here. Nothing you could’ve done or said should or could cause this reaction.
Coming to your first question, it is very difficult to answer it without generalizing all men. But some of the most reasons for this could be:
He got what he wanted. It sounds crass but in most cases, this is the truth. He had no intentions of being more than just that.
He might be avoiding responsibility. He didn’t want more, and the mature thing would have been to sit down and have that discussion with you. But, maturity isn’t easy and he chose the easy route, that is to ghost. His decision to disappear is a reflection of his nature, not yours.
Coming to what your friend said, it could be that too, but the chances are slim. Some men do feel overwhelmed but disappearing for over a week is a stretch. Again, it’s his unreadiness to feel so many emotions, not yours.
Now, I want to gently nudge you towards one thing: you said you feel ashamed. Shame creeps in when you hold yourself accountable for someone else’s actions. And also due to societal prejudice. Keep both aside, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Did you move too fast? To be honest, there is no fast or slow in these things. There’s no set timeline. You did what you felt was right in the moment. And you were ready to step up, but he went MIA. The entire unfortunate turnout is not because of your pace but his lack of respect. Even if he comes up with a good enough reason for this disappearing act, I still want you to remember that not even for a second, you had anything to create this situation.


I hope this helps.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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