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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money

Dear Sir, I am 39 Year old with in-hand salary 1.9L. I have an ongoing homeloan of 48L with an EMI of 37k per month. I am paying 50k to principal in every quarter. Also I have a cash in saving account (emergency fund) 10L, Gold 24L, MF around 7.5L and stocks around 4L. Pls suggest if this looks fine or what changes i should do for proper balancing my finances. Shall I focus on loan prepayment or more into investment.

Ans: You have made strong financial progress. You earn well, invest regularly, and maintain discipline. Let’s now do a deep evaluation and give a complete 360-degree plan. We will look at debt, investments, risk protection, asset mix, and your goals.

This will help you get better clarity and balance in your money life.



1. Emergency Fund – Good, but Rebalance a Bit


Rs. 10 lakh as emergency fund is quite healthy. You’re well-prepared for sudden needs.



Ideally, 6 to 9 months of expenses is enough. For you, Rs. 5–6 lakh is sufficient.



Keep part in a sweep-in FD linked savings account.



Move the extra amount to debt mutual funds for higher returns with some liquidity.


2. Home Loan Strategy – Continue Part Prepayments Smartly


Your Rs. 48 lakh home loan with Rs. 37,000 EMI is well within your income capacity.



Paying Rs. 50,000 principal every quarter is a smart move. It reduces interest load.



This gives you a good balance between investment and debt reduction.



Avoid lump sum full closure now. Use part-prepayment method.



This way, you retain liquidity and reduce loan burden over time.



Keep this strategy going for next 6–7 years.


3. Mutual Funds – Continue, But Review the Mix


Rs. 7.5 lakh in mutual funds is a good beginning.



Check asset allocation across large, mid, and small cap.



Avoid overexposure to mid and small cap funds. They are volatile.



Add more to diversified flexi-cap and large cap funds.



Choose actively managed funds only. Avoid index funds.



Index funds don’t adapt to market changes. Active funds are better in down cycles.



Direct funds look cheap, but not better for long-term investors.



Regular funds via a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP help you track and rebalance.



You get guidance, discipline, and human advice that apps don’t provide.


4. Equity Stocks – Don’t Over-Rely


Rs. 4 lakh in stocks is okay. Keep it under 10–15% of your portfolio.



Individual stocks carry high risk. Not suitable for core long-term goals.



Treat it as satellite allocation. Limit exposure.



Stay invested in quality businesses only.



Avoid over-trading or short-term speculation.


5. Gold – Need to Reduce Overweight


Rs. 24 lakh in gold is very high. It is around 60% of your financial assets.



Gold is for protection, not long-term growth.



Prices can stagnate for years. No income is generated.



Keep only 10–15% of your portfolio in gold.



Start gradually redeeming and shifting to mutual funds.



You can use gold to prepay part of the home loan or invest in flexi-cap funds.



Don’t exit all at once. Spread over next 12 to 24 months.


6. Income vs Expenses – Room to Save More


You earn Rs. 1.9 lakh per month in hand. EMI is only Rs. 37,000.



This gives you high saving potential. Use it well.



Target to invest at least Rs. 70,000 to Rs. 80,000 per month.



Break it into SIPs, debt funds, and some into equity.



Emergency fund and gold already give you base safety.



So now, focus more on compounding growth.


7. Retirement Planning – Need Structured Focus


At 39, you have 18–20 years for retirement.



Start a separate retirement SIP portfolio.



Use a mix of equity and hybrid mutual funds.



This should be at least Rs. 25,000–30,000 per month.



Rebalance yearly with a Certified Financial Planner.



Don’t depend on PF alone. It won’t be enough for modern lifestyle needs.


8. Child Education and Family Goals – Plan Now


If you have children, their future needs planning.



Start a dedicated SIP for higher education or marriage.



Keep it separate from retirement funds.



Education costs are rising fast. Early action helps.


9. Insurance – Must Protect What You Built


Term insurance is a must if you have dependents.



Cover should be at least 15 to 20 times of yearly income.



Avoid endowment or ULIP policies.



If you already have them, consider surrendering.



Reinvest proceeds in mutual funds through a qualified CFP.



Also ensure you have health insurance for all family members.



Check if coverage is minimum Rs. 10–15 lakh per person.



Use top-up plans if base cover is low.


10. Tax Planning – Optimise Smartly


Use full benefits under Section 80C with PPF, EPF, or ELSS.



Avoid locking money into tax-saving FDs with low returns.



Plan HRA, housing loan interest, and NPS for extra deductions.



Use new capital gains rules when you redeem mutual funds.



Equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.



Short-term equity fund gains taxed at 20%.



For debt funds, gains are taxed as per your slab.


11. Asset Allocation – Time to Restructure


Your current structure is skewed toward gold.



You need a mix of equity 50%, debt 30%, gold 10–15%.



This will give balance between growth, safety, and liquidity.



Do this realignment slowly over next 12–18 months.


12. Investment Tracking – Do Yearly Review


Review your portfolio once a year.



Rebalance if any one asset class moves too much.



Exit underperforming funds and move to better ones.



Take help of a CFP for regular review.



Avoid chasing returns or timing market.



Stick to plan with discipline.


13. Psychological Strength – Stay Patient and Calm


Don’t panic in market falls. Stay invested.



Avoid comparing with others. Your plan is unique.



Investing is a slow, steady journey.



Focus on consistency, not speed.



Celebrate small milestones. Stay motivated.


Finally


You’ve done many things right already. Strong salary, low EMI, good saving habits.



Just reduce gold holding and rebalance into growth assets.



Continue smart prepayment of loan, but don’t be in a rush to close.



Increase investments now, especially into mutual funds and SIPs.



Plan separately for retirement, education, and protection.



Follow a structured plan under guidance of a CFP.



Track yearly and adjust as life changes.



Your future can be safe, growing, and peaceful with this disciplined approach.


Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 34 years old, living in Chennai. My take home salary was 90K before 2years but I did upskilling and now my salary is 1.9Lakhs from 2022. I am paying 25K emi for my 36 lakhs home loan tenure 25Yrs. My current holding as below: Gold coin:250gram Mutual Fund:7 Lakhs Gold bees: 2lakhs PPF: 3lakhs PF:6Lakhs Emergency fund in FD: 6Lakhs Savings : 3Lakhs Car: 15lakhs (bought without loan paid full cash, saved for two years to get this). My savings allocation as below: MF: 54500/-(started from last October) PPF,SSA - 5000/- Chit - 12000 Home loan part payment -12000 I split my MF contribution to separate goals like retirement,child education I will always ensure minimum I save my 50% of income going into savings and investment. I will note my everyday spending and monitor my spent. And track %of my income sent below is my monthly average spent split. Savings -60% Living -20% EMI-10% On hand -10% Can you help me whether I am going on the right track or do I need to change anything here ?
Ans: Evaluating Your Financial Plan
Assessing your current financial strategy and future outlook:

Income and Expense Analysis
Your salary increased significantly post upskilling.
EMI for your home loan is 10% of your income, which is manageable.
Your savings rate of 60% reflects a strong commitment to financial security.
Asset Allocation
Gold holdings and mutual funds provide diversification.
Emergency fund and savings in FDs are adequate for short-term needs.
Car purchase without a loan shows disciplined savings.
Investment Strategy
MF investments split for various goals: retirement, child education.
Regular contributions to PPF and SSA for long-term savings.
Chit fund investment adds to your investment portfolio diversification.
Financial Health Check
Monitor daily expenses to track spending habits.
Regularly review income allocation and budget adjustments.
Ensure emergency fund covers 6 months of expenses.
Future Recommendations
Consider enhancing equity exposure for higher long-term growth.
Evaluate tax-saving options like ELSS funds for efficient tax planning.
Review insurance coverage periodically to align with current needs.
Final Insights
You're on a positive trajectory with a disciplined savings approach and diversified investments. Regular monitoring and adjustments will help achieve your financial goals effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2025
Money
Hi, I'm 34 years. I've a home loan of 48L emi is 50k (home loan pending tenure is 13years)... my net salary in hand is 1.3L. currently I don't have much monthly exp as I live in joint family n I have good control on my exp.. - My monthly investments are MF sip 30k, NPS 3K, ICICI child gift ulip plan 4K monthly for 5years, Bajaj retirement goal III ulip plan monthly 5k for 10years, LIC premium monthly 5K. And I pay extra Home loan pricipal monthly 12k.. -I've other investments 10fd, MF around 21L, equity stock around 17L, PPF 10L, NPS 2L, SGB 1L, suknya account 1.3L, .. 1) What you suggest shall I continue the my MF sips and other investments? 2) shall I increase monthly home loan prepayment from 12k by reducing monthly MF sips ? 3) guide am I in right direction in order to have retirement fund at the age of 50-55 ? 4) In future I'll have the exp of my two kids marriage and educational exp (they're now 2years) 5) Is child plan good? Shall I continue? 7) Also I'm planning to have another house (in year 2029-2034) which will cost nearly 1.7cr. currently the house for which loan is taken sale value is approx 70-75L..
Ans: At 34, you are doing many good things.

You live within your means and invest well.

Still, you asked the right questions.

Let us go step by step.

This answer will be simple but deep.

We will assess from a 360-degree angle.

Let us now begin.

Income, Loan and Lifestyle Assessment

Your net monthly salary is Rs. 1.3 lakh.

Your current EMI is Rs. 50,000. This is almost 38% of your income.

You pay Rs. 12,000 extra as home loan prepayment.

Your total home loan outflow is Rs. 62,000 per month.

You have strong cost control because you live in a joint family.

That is a big plus at this age. Keep it up.

Your current lifestyle gives you surplus money. That is a strength.

Do not let lifestyle inflation spoil this later.

Review of Your Ongoing Monthly Investments

SIP in mutual funds: Rs. 30,000 monthly. This is a good habit.

NPS contribution: Rs. 3,000 per month. But NPS has lock-in and limited flexibility.

LIC: Rs. 5,000 monthly. LIC policies mostly offer low returns.

ICICI child ULIP: Rs. 4,000 monthly. ULIPs are not cost-effective.

Bajaj Retirement ULIP: Rs. 5,000 monthly. Also not efficient.

You are paying Rs. 17,000 per month towards ULIP and LIC combined.

This money can earn more if invested in mutual funds.

ULIP and LIC Policies: Need Review

ULIP plans have high costs and complex structures.

They mix insurance and investment. That is never a smart idea.

LIC plans also give low returns (around 5-6% only).

Instead of continuing for full term, check surrender value now.

You may stop future payments after checking terms.

A Certified Financial Planner can assist in evaluating surrender wisely.

That money should be moved to mutual funds via SIP.

Assessment of Mutual Fund Investments

SIP of Rs. 30,000 monthly is excellent. Continue it.

You already have Rs. 21 lakh in mutual funds. That is solid.

Don't reduce SIP to increase home loan prepayment.

Mutual funds help build wealth faster than home loan savings.

Prepayment gives 8.5% benefit (loan rate).

But mutual funds (active ones) can give 12-14% over long term.

So reducing SIPs to prepay loan is not wise.

Continue SIPs. Increase them if income increases.

PPF, NPS and SGB – Conservative, Yet Useful

PPF: Rs. 10 lakh. Tax-free and safe. Keep investing the max every year.

NPS: Rs. 2 lakh. Good for tax saving. But retirement corpus gets locked.

SGB: Rs. 1 lakh. Gold bonds are fine for partial diversification.

Use PPF more than NPS because of better flexibility.

FDs and Stocks – Balancing Safety with Growth

You have Rs. 10 lakh in fixed deposits. Good for emergency or short-term needs.

Equity stocks: Rs. 17 lakh. Shows you are growth-oriented.

Review stock portfolio once every 6 months.

Don’t hold stocks if you're unsure of their quality.

If needed, shift to mutual funds where experts manage the money.

Child ULIP Plans – Better to Avoid

These child ULIPs are sold emotionally, not financially.

High costs and limited transparency are common issues.

Returns are low due to charges.

For your kids’ education and marriage, mutual funds are better.

Start two SIPs – one for education and one for marriage.

Invest in multi-cap and flexi-cap mutual funds.

Keep increasing these SIPs as income grows.

Future Second Home Purchase – Evaluation Needed

You are planning to buy another house worth Rs. 1.7 crore.

Your current home value is Rs. 70–75 lakh.

Don’t look at second house as an investment.

Real estate brings risk, low liquidity and high maintenance.

If it's for self-use, then fine.

But for wealth creation, mutual funds are better.

Don’t take another big loan just for second house.

That can disturb cash flow and limit investments.

If needed, sell existing house and use that as down payment.

Debt vs Equity Thinking – Long-Term Wealth Needs Equity

You are still young. Just 34.

Retirement goal is 50–55. You still have 16–21 years.

Equity mutual funds help in wealth creation.

Debt products like FDs, PPF, NPS are safe but grow slowly.

So, most savings should go to equity mutual funds now.

Only emergency and near-term goals should use FDs or PPF.

Tax Efficiency – Optimise Your Structure

Income tax savings from home loan are fine.

NPS gives extra deduction under 80CCD(1B).

But ULIPs and LIC do not give long-term tax benefits.

Mutual funds are now taxed at 12.5% for long term.

Still, mutual funds offer better post-tax growth than LIC/ULIP.

Emergency Fund and Insurance Coverage

Keep 6 months’ expense in FD or savings as emergency fund.

Check if you have term life cover. Minimum Rs. 1 crore is needed.

Also check family medical insurance. Rs. 10–15 lakh cover is good.

Don’t mix insurance with investment. Keep both separate.

Action Plan: Clear, Simple and Step-by-Step

Continue your Rs. 30,000 SIP. Increase yearly if possible.

Review and surrender ULIPs and LIC if suitable.

Stop all future ULIP premiums. Redirect to mutual funds.

Don’t reduce SIPs to prepay loan. Let SIPs continue.

Make home loan prepayment only if surplus money is idle.

Start SIPs for child education and marriage.

Don’t go for second house as investment.

Review stocks and replace with mutual funds if not confident.

Maintain FDs for emergency, not as long-term investment.

Ensure term life and health cover are in place.

Update nominations and keep all documents organised.

Finally

Your financial journey has a strong start.

You have right habits and long-term thinking.

But your portfolio needs cleaning.

ULIPs and LIC are eating your returns quietly.

Your SIPs are your strongest weapon. Don’t pause them.

Buy house only if it’s for personal use, not wealth building.

Your retirement goal at 50–55 is achievable.

But only if equity investment continues and grows.

Children’s goals will come faster than you think.

Start SIPs now for them. Don’t depend on ULIPs.

You are on the right track. Just remove the low-return blocks.

Review regularly with a Certified Financial Planner.

That will help you move confidently, year after year.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8940 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Experts , I am 32 years old, currently earning an income hand salary of 1.06 lakh.I have a home loan of 32 lakh with monthly emi of Rs 27670 for 20 years ,current outstanding loan is 28.5 lakh with 8.2 rointerest ,and I usually pay 30000 every month. I have 18.5 lakh in Mutual Funds , 8.5 lakh in ppf , 30000 in sukhanya samridhi for my 1.5 year daughter , 2.25 lakh in equity stocks , 15000 in gold ,taken a health insurance of 5 lakh for family with annual premium of 16000 , term insurance of 5000000 with 1100 premium per month ,and a pension plan 4000 which is market linked ,epf 3.4 lakh. I aspire to increase my investments,reduce my home loan to maximum 12 years from now. Are my investments fine or do I need to relook ,please suggest
Ans: At 32, you have made a good foundation.

Let us now give a deep and full review.

We will look at each area one by one.

You will get full insights with clarity.

We aim to help you build a stable, long-term financial future.

Your Monthly Income and Loan Situation

You earn Rs. 1.06 lakh in hand monthly.

Your home loan EMI is Rs. 27,670.

You pay Rs. 30,000 monthly, which is good.

Loan balance is Rs. 28.5 lakh.

Interest is 8.2%, which is moderate.

Loan term is 20 years, but you want to close in 12 years.

That is a good goal and achievable.

For that, you need more prepayments.

But not at the cost of long-term wealth building.

Home Loan Strategy Assessment

Continue Rs. 30,000 monthly for now.

Try to increase by Rs. 5,000 every year.

Make one-time part payments when you get bonus.

Use only part of your bonus.

Keep the rest for investments.

Do not withdraw mutual funds for prepayment.

Do not break PPF for home loan either.

Let compounding work for long-term investments.

Review loan rate every year.

If it rises above 9%, consider balance transfer.

Mutual Funds Portfolio – Evaluation

Rs. 18.5 lakh in mutual funds is a good start.

But asset allocation and fund selection matter.

Are you in direct plans? If yes, please rethink.

Direct funds look cheap but lack guidance.

They don’t offer proper handholding or rebalancing.

Regular funds with a trusted MFD and CFP give better outcomes.

They guide during market ups and downs.

Direct fund investors often make emotional exits.

Actively managed funds outperform passive ones in India.

Index funds miss midcap and smallcap exposure.

Active funds also handle volatility better.

Continue SIPs, but align with long-term goals.

Do not pick funds based on past return alone.

Evaluate portfolio with a CFP once a year.

PPF and EPF – Long-Term Foundation

Rs. 8.5 lakh in PPF is a strong base.

Keep contributing yearly to get full benefit.

PPF helps with tax-free retirement corpus.

It also protects your money from market risk.

Your EPF of Rs. 3.4 lakh is also growing.

Do not withdraw EPF unless absolutely urgent.

Treat PPF and EPF as separate retirement basket.

Equity Stocks – Evaluation Needed

Rs. 2.25 lakh in equity stocks is okay for now.

Don’t invest more in stocks directly now.

Stocks need time and deep understanding.

They also need full monitoring.

Most investors make losses due to emotional buying and selling.

Use mutual funds for equity exposure instead.

Gold Investment – Assessment

Rs. 15,000 in gold is a small part.

That is good.

Keep gold below 10% of your total assets.

Use gold more as protection, not growth.

Avoid jewellery for investment purpose.

Prefer digital gold or sovereign gold bonds.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) for Daughter

You have Rs. 30,000 in SSY. Very thoughtful.

This is a great start for her future.

Continue contributing yearly for 15 years.

SSY gives high interest and tax-free maturity.

It also teaches you discipline in saving.

Insurance – Current Protection Review

Rs. 5 lakh health cover is basic, not strong.

Please increase it to Rs. 10 lakh.

Add super top-up plan for better protection.

Rs. 16,000 annual premium is reasonable.

Rs. 50 lakh term cover is slightly low.

At 32, increase to Rs. 1 crore now.

Premium will still be affordable at this age.

Check nominee and coverage details regularly.

You must secure family before anything else.

Pension Plan – Needs Clarity

You pay Rs. 4,000 monthly into a pension plan.

You said it is market linked.

Is this a ULIP or insurance pension plan?

If yes, check if return is below mutual funds.

ULIPs and endowment plans are not efficient.

If surrender is possible, exit now.

Reinvest into good mutual funds for retirement.

You will build more wealth in long term.

Always separate insurance and investment.

Expenses and Savings Rate – Important Area

EMI is about 28% of your take-home pay.

This is manageable for now.

Keep total EMI + SIPs under 50% of salary.

You need to raise investments over the next 3 years.

Start with at least 20% monthly investment today.

As your income rises, increase it to 35%.

Include SIPs, PPF, SSY, EPF in that number.

Make investments automatic and regular.

Emergency Fund – Missing Piece

You haven’t mentioned emergency fund.

This is very important.

Keep 6 months of expenses as liquid savings.

It can be in savings account or liquid fund.

Use only for medical or job-related emergency.

This will prevent loan or credit card borrowing.

Children’s Education and Future Planning

Your daughter is 1.5 years old now.

You have started SSY. That is good.

But you need more for higher education.

Add mutual fund SIPs for her education goal.

Start small. Even Rs. 3,000 monthly helps.

Increase it every year.

Combine SSY + mutual funds to reach her need.

Retirement Planning – Start Now

Retirement is still far, but start early.

Relying only on EPF and PPF won’t be enough.

Pension plan mentioned may underperform.

You need dedicated retirement mutual funds.

These must be handled by MFD and CFP support.

Do not use direct funds.

Retirement planning is a serious long-term goal.

Start with Rs. 5,000 monthly now.

Review once every year.

Tax Planning – Do Not Over-Invest Just for Tax

Don’t buy insurance to save tax.

ELSS mutual funds offer better growth.

PPF, EPF, SSY already give tax benefits.

That’s enough for now.

Try to make tax planning and wealth building go together.

Checklist for Action Plan – Your Next Steps

Increase health cover to Rs. 10 lakh with top-up.

Increase term insurance to Rs. 1 crore.

Build emergency fund of Rs. 2 lakh minimum.

Don’t increase equity stocks now.

Exit pension plan if it is ULIP or traditional plan.

Continue SSY yearly for daughter.

Start SIP for her higher education.

Reassess mutual fund mix and switch to regular plans.

Start a separate SIP for retirement.

Don’t use PPF or MF for home loan prepayment.

Increase home loan EMI only if surplus grows.

Review loan interest and balance transfer yearly.

Finally

You are on the right track overall.

Your income is good. Your loan is manageable.

Your investments are growing.

Now you need better structure and clear goals.

Don’t mix investment, insurance, and debt.

Work with a trusted MFD guided by a CFP.

That will help you grow with confidence.

Think long term, act every month, and stay consistent.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |602 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025
Relationship
Why do men ghost after sex? I met this amazing guy on Hinge. He was 27, well-mannered, and worked in a data firm in Mumbai. We spoke daily for three months and had amazing chemistry. From music to food, we discussed everything under the sun. We went on a couple of dates to get to know each other. When we got comfortable, we got intimate and eventually had consensual s** at his friend's house party. One week after we got intimate, he just vanished. No replies, no calls. It was my first time, so I kept wondering if I had done something wrong to upset him. My friend says it could be post-intimacy guilt. But I feel embarrassed, ashamed. I can't shake off the shame. Did I move too fast? Is this how dating works now? How can I go back to feeling normal again?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry you are going through this. What happened is just as confusing as it is hurtful. Let’s get one thing straight, you did nothing wrong. You are not at fault here. Nothing you could’ve done or said should or could cause this reaction.
Coming to your first question, it is very difficult to answer it without generalizing all men. But some of the most reasons for this could be:
He got what he wanted. It sounds crass but in most cases, this is the truth. He had no intentions of being more than just that.
He might be avoiding responsibility. He didn’t want more, and the mature thing would have been to sit down and have that discussion with you. But, maturity isn’t easy and he chose the easy route, that is to ghost. His decision to disappear is a reflection of his nature, not yours.
Coming to what your friend said, it could be that too, but the chances are slim. Some men do feel overwhelmed but disappearing for over a week is a stretch. Again, it’s his unreadiness to feel so many emotions, not yours.
Now, I want to gently nudge you towards one thing: you said you feel ashamed. Shame creeps in when you hold yourself accountable for someone else’s actions. And also due to societal prejudice. Keep both aside, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Did you move too fast? To be honest, there is no fast or slow in these things. There’s no set timeline. You did what you felt was right in the moment. And you were ready to step up, but he went MIA. The entire unfortunate turnout is not because of your pace but his lack of respect. Even if he comes up with a good enough reason for this disappearing act, I still want you to remember that not even for a second, you had anything to create this situation.


I hope this helps.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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