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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 20, 2026

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 26 years of experience in MF distribution and wealth management. He holds an MBA in Finance from the University of Madras and is a CFP (Certified Financial Planner) credentialed professional. He is the Director of Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based AMFI-registered Mutual Fund Distribution (ARN-4188) and APMI-registered PMS Distribution firm (APRN07386), helping clients build long-term wealth through mutual funds and other investment solutions.... more
Shounak Question by Shounak on Jul 04, 2026
Money

I am 34 years old. Salaried person Earning 60k per month and Also a making part time business.currenlty i my existing investment is as follows Mutual fund 1.10cr ,Stack market 25 Lakhs, FD 1.10 Cr, Real Estate 1.35 cr and Gold 20 Lakhs, i wants to quiet at age of 40 so i want suggestion for i want 1.50 Lakh per month earning,,I have no any Loans and I have own house and car so i have no any liability pls suggest for earning 1.5 or 2 lakh earning per month to i will enjoy remaining life with family

Ans: » You Have Built A Strong Base

At age 34, you have already created substantial wealth.
No home loan.
No car loan.
Own house available.
Multiple asset classes in place.
Part-time business income is an added strength.
Very few people reach this position at your age.
This gives you flexibility to think about financial freedom by 40.

» Current Position Assessment

Mutual Funds: Rs.1.10 Cr
Stocks: Rs.25 Lakhs
FD: Rs.1.10 Cr
Gold: Rs.20 Lakhs
Real Estate: Rs.1.35 Cr
Total net worth is already quite healthy.
The biggest positive is zero liabilities.
The second positive is your young age.

» About Retiring At 40

You are not planning retirement.
You are planning financial independence.
There is a difference.
At 40, you may still want to work.
But you want work to become optional.
That is a much better goal.
Since life expectancy can easily cross 80 years, your corpus may need to support you for 40+ years.
Hence the corpus should continue growing even after you stop active work.

» For Rs.1.5 To 2 Lakh Monthly Income

The income required today is one thing.
The income required at age 50, 60 and 70 will be much higher due to inflation.
Therefore, planning should focus on growing income over time.
Not on generating a fixed amount forever.
A retirement strategy based only on FDs may struggle against inflation.
Equity exposure will remain important even after age 40.

» What I Would Do Over The Next 6 Years

Continue aggressive SIP investments.
Invest a large portion of business surplus.
Increase SIP amount every year.
Avoid lifestyle inflation.
Build a larger mutual fund corpus.
Your FD allocation already looks substantial.
Future surplus can be directed more towards quality diversified equity funds.

» Asset Allocation Thoughts

Mutual fund allocation can become the growth engine.
FDs can act as stability capital.
Gold can remain as diversification.
Direct stocks should be limited to what you can actively track.
Too much dependence on individual stocks can increase risk.
Wealth preservation becomes important once the corpus becomes large.

» Emergency Planning

Keep at least 12 months expenses easily accessible.
Maintain adequate family health insurance.
Maintain sufficient term insurance till financial independence is fully achieved.
These are small costs compared to the protection they provide.

» About Income Generation After 40

Avoid trying to generate the entire income from interest alone.
A combination approach works better.
Growth assets continue compounding.
Part of the portfolio can provide periodic cash flow.
Periodic withdrawals can be adjusted for inflation.
This approach generally gives better long-term sustainability.

» One Area To Think About

Your part-time business can become a valuable retirement asset.
If it can generate even modest income after age 40, pressure on investments reduces significantly.
Many financially independent people continue consulting, freelancing or running small businesses.
Even a small active income can make a huge difference.

» Finally

Based on the information shared, financial independence by age 40 appears achievable.
You already have a strong foundation.
The next 6 years are critical.
Focus on increasing investments rather than increasing lifestyle expenses.
Continue building the mutual fund corpus aggressively.
Keep adequate equity exposure for long-term growth.
Maintain strong protection through insurance and emergency reserves.
If managed well, you can reach a stage where work becomes a choice and not a necessity.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi, I am 29 (married) and currently doing job earning approx. 2.5L/month which is very stressful, I was always dreamt of following my passion and earn income from doing something which I love. So I started accumulating money to quit this job and start something else. Currently I have 42lac liquid cash(not sure where to invest so kept it in bank account), 11lac gold, 2.5lac mf, 3lac PPF. Lives in own home in a tire 3 area. Responsibilities are 1. I have a join home loan with my father of 20lac and paying 15k/month EMI. 2. Need 10k/month for my lifestyle. My question is how can I earn a regular monthly return of 25k to 30k from the 43lac I accumulated and so that I can stop with the current job and start focusing on what I want to do with my life (I want to do content creation/freelancing/stock trading also if I can get more return don't want to risk the capital/switching to a less stressful job with less pay) I am not looking to retire, all need is my time to myself.
Ans: You have a clear goal of earning Rs. 25k to 30k monthly from your accumulated savings to focus on your passions. Here’s a structured plan to achieve this while minimizing risk.

Current Financial Situation

Liquid Cash: Rs. 42 lakhs in a bank account

Gold: Rs. 11 lakhs

Mutual Funds: Rs. 2.5 lakhs

PPF: Rs. 3 lakhs

Home Loan: Rs. 15k monthly EMI

Lifestyle Expenses: Rs. 10k monthly

Goal: Generate Rs. 25k to 30k Monthly Income

1. Diversify Investments for Regular Income

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs)

Invest in MIPs: Allocate Rs. 15 lakhs in Monthly Income Plans. These provide regular payouts and are relatively safe.
Debt Funds

Invest in Debt Funds: Allocate Rs. 10 lakhs in high-quality debt funds. These offer stability and regular returns with minimal risk.
Fixed Deposits (FDs)

Invest in FDs: Allocate Rs. 7 lakhs in bank FDs with monthly or quarterly interest payouts. This ensures a steady and predictable income.
2. Maintain Liquidity for Flexibility

Liquid Funds

Invest in Liquid Funds: Allocate Rs. 5 lakhs in liquid funds. These offer better returns than savings accounts and allow quick access to funds.
3. Supplement Income with Balanced and Hybrid Funds

Balanced/Hybrid Funds

Invest in Balanced Funds: Allocate Rs. 8 lakhs in balanced or hybrid funds. These provide a mix of equity and debt, offering moderate risk and reasonable returns.
4. Use Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

SWP in Mutual Funds

Set Up SWP: Use an SWP in your mutual funds to withdraw a fixed amount monthly. This helps in managing cash flow and ensures regular income.
5. Additional Income Streams

Freelancing and Content Creation

Pursue Passions: Start content creation and freelancing. This will supplement your investment income and potentially grow into a significant income stream.
Stock Trading

Cautious Approach: If you have stock trading experience, continue with caution. Allocate a small portion, like Rs. 2-3 lakhs, to minimize risk.
Emergency Fund Maintenance

Liquid Emergency Fund

Maintain Emergency Fund: Keep Rs. 3-3.5 lakhs as an emergency fund in liquid assets. This ensures financial security in unexpected situations.
Risk Management and Diversification

Diversification Strategy

Diversify Investments: Spread your investments across various asset classes to manage risk and ensure stable returns.
Professional Advice

Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

Seek Advice: Consult a CFP for tailored advice. They can help in selecting the best investment options and managing your portfolio effectively.
Final Insights

To generate Rs. 25k to 30k monthly, diversify your Rs. 42 lakhs into MIPs, debt funds, FDs, liquid funds, and balanced funds. Use SWP in mutual funds for regular income. Supplement this with income from freelancing and content creation. This strategy balances income generation and risk, allowing you to pursue your passions without financial stress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, My Age is 43 years, I had a son and I want to retire at the age 55 years, Currently my investment is MF - 25 lac; currently SIP 25000 per month; no index fund invested in flexi cap, large cap, small cap, IT, digital, pharma and health care; debt, EPF 5 lac, NPS 1.5 lakhs, 15 lac in FD interest rate 9.5, I am also invest in stocks mkt since 2018, only long term stock, having portfolio on 40 lakhs in blue chips. Have rental income from my home around 18-20 thousands per month. Term plan, healthy insurance taken, family full treatment cover from my hospital. I want to 50 thousand monthly income after my retirement, please suggest
Ans: You have done many things right already. You started early, invested across categories, and built assets. You also have income from rent, health insurance, and a term plan. At 43, you have 12 more years to plan before retirement. Your monthly retirement goal is Rs.50,000, which is realistic. A focused and disciplined plan from now can easily help you achieve this.

Let’s take a 360-degree view of your situation and goals.

» Understand Where You Stand Now

– Your age is 43 years.
– Retirement goal age is 55.
– 12 years left to grow your assets.
– Monthly SIP is Rs.25,000.
– Mutual fund value is Rs.25 lakhs.
– Equity stocks worth Rs.40 lakhs.
– EPF is Rs.5 lakhs.
– NPS is Rs.1.5 lakhs.
– FD is Rs.15 lakhs at 9.5% interest.
– Rental income is Rs.18,000–20,000 monthly.
– Term plan and full health cover are in place.
– You’ve covered insurance risks and health expenses already.

This is a strong financial structure. You have spread your risk smartly.

» Define the Core Retirement Goal

– Your goal is to get Rs.50,000 monthly after retirement.
– That is Rs.6 lakhs annually.
– Your portfolio should generate this amount safely.
– It must also beat inflation.
– So plan for slightly higher than Rs.50,000 in future.
– You need assets that give steady, tax-efficient income.
– Focus now must be on building this future income base.

» Assess and Optimise Existing Investments

– Mutual fund investments are Rs.25 lakhs now.
– Continue SIP of Rs.25,000 monthly.
– Review SIP portfolio every year.
– Make sure it includes diversified equity funds.
– Keep a balance between large, flexi, and small cap.
– Continue pharma, digital, and IT only if performance is consistent.
– These sectors are cyclical, not core retirement tools.
– Shift gradually towards balanced funds post age 50.

– Avoid index funds completely.
– Index funds mirror markets and do not protect downside.
– Index funds fail in volatile or sideways markets.
– Actively managed funds have higher return potential.
– Professional fund managers manage risk better.
– Direct mutual funds should also be avoided.
– Direct plans lack MFD support and guidance.
– Use regular mutual funds via a Certified Financial Planner-guided MFD.
– This ensures proper tracking and corrections.

» Equity Stock Holdings Evaluation

– Stocks are worth Rs.40 lakhs.
– You invested since 2018, which gives 6+ years’ experience.
– Continue holding quality blue-chip stocks.
– Avoid frequent buying or selling.
– Stocks should not be more than 35% of retirement corpus.
– As you approach age 50, shift part of stocks to mutual funds.
– Mutual funds give better liquidity and diversification.
– Stocks can be volatile in short term.
– Regular review is important every 6 months.
– Keep stocks only in companies with high dividend yield and strong cash flows.

» EPF and NPS Outlook

– EPF balance is Rs.5 lakhs.
– This is safe and offers guaranteed interest.
– Don’t withdraw EPF early.
– Let it grow till retirement.
– Keep contributing if possible through employment.

– NPS is Rs.1.5 lakhs now.
– You can continue yearly contributions.
– But don’t rely on NPS for full retirement.
– NPS comes with partial annuity requirement.
– It also has limited withdrawal flexibility.
– Keep it as a secondary tool only.

» Review of Fixed Deposit Allocation

– FD of Rs.15 lakhs at 9.5% is very rare.
– Check if rate is locked or temporary.
– After maturity, don’t reinvest full in FD again.
– FDs are not tax-efficient.
– Interest is fully taxed as per your slab.
– FD must only cover short-term needs or emergency.
– For long-term, mutual funds are better.

» Rental Income Management

– Rent is Rs.18,000–20,000 per month.
– Keep this for post-retirement cash flow.
– Don’t count on major hike in rent.
– Use this income to reduce retirement withdrawal pressure.
– Include property maintenance cost every year.
– Don’t depend fully on rental income for future goals.
– Treat it as support income, not core income.

» Boost Retirement SIP From Now

– You have 12 years to retire.
– Increase your SIP from Rs.25,000 to Rs.35,000 minimum.
– If possible, raise by 10% every year.
– Use salary increments or bonuses to boost SIP.
– Start a dedicated SIP only for retirement.
– Don’t mix other goals like child education or marriage.
– Separate retirement funds give clarity and focus.
– Long-term compounding will support your goal better.

» Portfolio Structuring From Age 50

– Slowly reduce equity risk after 50.
– Don’t exit equity fully.
– Shift part into hybrid and balanced mutual funds.
– Maintain 40–50% equity even after 55.
– Use debt funds, not FDs, for steady income.
– Keep 1 to 2 years’ expense in liquid or short-term funds.
– This avoids selling during market downturns.
– Balance safety and growth to protect capital.

» Build Income Buckets After Retirement

– Plan retirement corpus in 3 buckets:

Short-Term:
– Keep 1–2 years' monthly needs in liquid funds.
– Use for day-to-day monthly expenses.

Mid-Term:
– Invest 5–7 years' worth in balanced funds.
– Withdraw from here when short-term gets empty.

Long-Term:
– Keep 10+ years' needs in equity or hybrid funds.
– This grows to beat inflation.
– Shift to mid bucket after 3–5 years.

– This structure ensures stability and income.
– Avoid stress during market corrections.

» Tax Planning and Withdrawal Strategy

– Equity mutual fund LTCG over Rs.1.25 lakhs taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG in equity funds is taxed at 20%.
– Debt mutual fund gains taxed as per your income slab.
– Plan your withdrawal amounts wisely.
– Withdraw only what you need.
– Don’t exit big chunks in one year.
– Spread withdrawals to save tax.

– Rental income is added to taxable income.
– Adjust other income accordingly.
– FDs give taxable interest, reduce this portion post-retirement.
– Use mutual funds for tax-efficient growth.

» Stay Consistent With Annual Reviews

– Every year, review goals, SIP, and portfolio performance.
– Markets will not behave the same every year.
– Small corrections in portfolio can improve results.
– Rebalance fund allocation every 12 months.
– Re-assign risk level based on age.
– Use support of Certified Financial Planner for portfolio corrections.

» Avoid New Risky or Emotional Investments

– Don’t enter into crypto or high-risk small cap bets now.
– Stay focused on long-term plan.
– Don’t chase short-term returns.
– Stick to large cap, flexi cap, and quality stocks.
– Never invest based on social media trends.
– You are in wealth preservation phase now.
– Growth must be safe and sustainable.

» Educate Family and Share Plan

– Let your spouse know about all your investments.
– Share passwords and nominee details.
– Make a Will once retirement corpus is built.
– Keep documentation ready and easy to access.
– Family must not struggle to understand your finances.

» Finally

– You have a strong and diversified portfolio already.
– At 43, with 12 years left, your target is practical.
– Rs.50,000 monthly retirement income is reachable.
– Just increase SIP and review assets yearly.
– Avoid FDs for long-term wealth.
– Avoid index funds and direct mutual funds.
– Use regular funds via MFDs with CFP guidance.
– Reduce stock risk gradually after age 50.
– Structure assets in income buckets post retirement.
– Make withdrawals tax-efficient.
– Stay disciplined and consistent.
– You are well on track.
– Just tighten your SIP and allocation path now.
– Your retirement goal is secure with this approach.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 08, 2025

Money
Hi, I am Dhiraj Kamble. Currently 40 years of age. I have 50 lacs corpus as savings in Mutual funds. I have no debt. I will be resigning in couple of months from private company. I need monthly income of Rs. 40,000 from my Mutual fund investments. Having no plans to join again in private sectors. I need to live peacefull life with Rs. 40,000 Monthly income. Please guide.
Ans: – You have done something remarkable.
– You have saved Rs. 50 lakhs at age 40.
– You have no debt. That is excellent.
– You plan to live a peaceful life. That is a wise goal.
– You have identified your monthly need. That shows clarity.
– This preparation gives you control over your next steps.

» Understanding your goal
– You want Rs. 40,000 every month.
– You do not want to work again.
– You want to rely on mutual funds for income.
– Your priority is peace and stability.
– The money must last many decades.
– The plan should protect you from inflation.
– The income should remain steady even in market ups and downs.

» Evaluating current savings vs required income
– Rs. 50 lakhs can produce income.
– But income depends on returns and safety.
– At Rs. 40,000 per month, yearly need is Rs. 4.8 lakhs.
– That is around 9.6% of Rs. 50 lakhs.
– A 9.6% withdrawal is very high.
– Most safe withdrawals range around 5% or less.
– High withdrawals risk running out of money early.
– We must create a balanced income plan.
– It should give income and allow growth.

» Assessing time horizon
– You are only 40.
– You may live another 40 years or more.
– The plan should cover 30 to 40 years.
– Long-term plans need equity exposure.
– Debt alone will not beat inflation.
– A mix of growth and safety is needed.
– This is not about taking high risk.
– It is about managing risk with structure.

» Inflation factor
– Costs will rise over time.
– Rs. 40,000 today will not be enough after 10 years.
– If inflation is 6%, expenses double in 12 years.
– Without growth, your savings will shrink in real value.
– So, income planning must keep inflation in mind.
– You will need step-up income in future.
– Equity mutual funds help grow the corpus.
– Debt mutual funds help protect and stabilise income.

» Why mutual funds are right for you
– Mutual funds give liquidity.
– They allow regular withdrawal.
– They are professionally managed.
– They allow diversification.
– They give growth potential better than fixed deposits.
– They allow tax-efficient withdrawal compared to interest-based products.
– They can be customised with systematic withdrawal plans.

» Why not index funds or ETFs
– Index funds simply follow the market index.
– They cannot beat the index return.
– They do not have a fund manager strategy.
– They may fall as much as the market in downturns.
– In India, actively managed funds have outperformed indices in many segments.
– Actively managed funds allow risk control through dynamic allocation.
– For retirement income, active funds give flexibility.
– A Certified Financial Planner can help pick funds that suit risk and income goals.

» Why regular funds via MFD with CFP is better than direct funds
– Direct funds look cheaper due to lower expense ratios.
– But they do not give personalised advice.
– Wrong fund selection can erode returns far more than saved costs.
– MFD with CFP ensures constant portfolio review.
– They help with tax planning during withdrawals.
– They help rebalance based on market changes.
– They reduce emotional mistakes during volatility.
– The small cost is worth the peace of mind.

» Structuring your mutual fund portfolio for income
– You need two buckets.
– One bucket for safety and regular income.
– Another bucket for growth to fight inflation.
– The safe bucket can hold around 2–3 years of expenses in debt mutual funds.
– That gives Rs. 10–15 lakhs in low-volatility debt funds.
– The growth bucket can hold the rest in balanced or hybrid funds.
– This will give capital appreciation over time.
– Income should be withdrawn systematically from the safe bucket.
– Every 2–3 years, refill the safe bucket by booking partial profits from growth bucket.
– This reduces the chance of selling growth assets during a market fall.

» Systematic withdrawal plan
– A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) helps create monthly cash flow.
– You can set it to withdraw Rs. 40,000 monthly.
– It works like a salary from your investments.
– SWP from equity or hybrid funds enjoys better tax treatment than FD interest.
– Under new tax rules, long-term equity gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
– Debt fund withdrawals are taxed as per your slab.
– A CFP can optimise which funds to draw from each year.

» Risk and return balance
– Higher equity gives higher growth but higher volatility.
– Too much debt gives stability but weak long-term growth.
– A balanced allocation may start with 60% growth, 40% stability.
– Over time, adjust based on your spending needs and market conditions.
– The key is never panic sell during corrections.
– The safe bucket protects withdrawals when markets fall.
– The growth bucket recovers and grows when markets rise.

» Tax planning while withdrawing
– Each withdrawal can trigger capital gains tax.
– Smart planning reduces tax burden.
– Withdrawals should use older units first (FIFO basis).
– Use equity fund long-term gains below exemption limit strategically.
– Use hybrid funds to blend equity and debt taxation advantage.
– This keeps net cash flow smoother.

» Emergency reserve
– Always keep at least 6–12 months expenses in a savings-linked liquid fund.
– This money is for health shocks, family needs, or sudden costs.
– It avoids touching the main retirement corpus during emergencies.

» Health and insurance protection
– Ensure health insurance for yourself and family.
– Medical inflation is high.
– Without insurance, one hospitalisation can hurt your plan.
– A term insurance may be optional now if no dependents rely on your income.
– But if family depends on your corpus, protect them with coverage.

» Lifestyle discipline
– Living on Rs. 40,000 per month is practical today.
– Adjusting lifestyle in future may be required.
– If expenses rise faster than income growth, stress builds.
– Avoid unnecessary big expenses early in retirement.
– Let the corpus grow in the first decade for stability later.

» Periodic review
– The plan is not one-time.
– Review at least once a year with a CFP.
– Check actual returns vs planned returns.
– Adjust withdrawals if needed.
– Rebalance between equity and debt as markets shift.
– Early correction keeps the plan strong.

» Psychological preparation
– Market ups and downs will happen.
– Your corpus may look lower in bad markets.
– That does not mean permanent loss.
– Patience and discipline create success.
– Peaceful living depends on emotional comfort with the plan.

» Final insights
– You have built a strong base.
– With Rs. 50 lakhs and no debt, your future is in your hands.
– But Rs. 40,000 monthly is a heavy draw.
– You may need to reduce initial withdrawal or find part-time income early.
– Or reduce expenses slightly in early years.
– Even a small side income of Rs. 10,000 eases pressure on the corpus.
– Balanced mutual fund investing with structured withdrawal can work.
– Work with a Certified Financial Planner.
– Build, monitor, and adjust as life changes.
– Your dream of peaceful living is possible with discipline and planning.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Hi, I am 58 Yr old Male with 29 yrs into arranged marriage. I have 2 daughters. I am being treated like a stranger in my own house. My wife does not give respect, no value, no love and affection care. Always negatives talking about me for everything. Not listen to any thing regarding family or personal matters. I am not earning much. I am doing my best doing business services. For everything I need basic amount to manage my business until it develops. There is no support for this from my family. Instead of supporting and motivating me, She is always negative about me. She knows I am not earning enough and unable to meet major transactions. She has come from a wealthy family were as I am not. She has helped in providing financial support many times. Now past 3-4 yrs, her behavior has changed. She taunts and blames me for she providing the financial support. Whatever she has provided is always used for family. she knows that. I am unable to focus on my business development. She's gives negative feedback about me to my daughters and they also behave same with me, Instead of supporting and motivating me. There is no intimacy or sex past 1 year. Hardly 1 once in a month earlier, after I force (make positive effort) her lovingly. I love her very much. But this is making me lose that love & affection on her. In our 29 yrs of marriage, she never initiated intimacy, love. Always I been doing it. She never shows interest in getting physical right from 1st day. She has not kissed me even once or hugged me voluntarily in these 29 yrs. I initiate everything. I am romantic. She is not. She gives one or the other reason and avoids. She avoids kissing. She never liked gifts i bought for her. I want her to wear different dresses, but she rejects. Though we sleep on same bed, she just sleeps off. When i go to her, either she pushes or says she has to wake up early sleep now. Even with so many days gap, when I initiate intimacy after 1-3 months, but she taunts saying I only want that from her. I have been hugging, kissing and showing love, affection care on her right from the 1st day of marriage. The same thing is missing from her. I have tried many times talking to her in polite way, trying to woo her, but of no use. I have approached many times we can have one on one talk and sort out any issues she has with me, but she avoids coming into talking terms. I have tried to talk saying lets understand whats going wrong. If I start generally talking, she starts arguing, negative talking and avoids the main discussion that forces me to shut my mouth. when we go out on a 2-3 day trip, she enjoys outing seeing places, food & sleep. Doesn't behave romantically, lovingly. It's just like same as at home. Even I know I am not earning much and trying best to do well. She always keep telling about her money and financial support and her parental house with arrogance & attitude. She has been good with her parental side, but not my side. I believe both husband and wife should take care of family together irrespective of who is more financially strong. Just because I am not earning well, this type of treatment I don't understand. If it was recent few yrs I can understand. But right from day one I have been facing this. Now I've stopped talking much and in silence going through loneliness.
Ans: Dear Prashanth,
I understand that it has been quite difficult for you. After 29 yrs, feeling unwanted, unsupported and criticized can leave anyone extremely lonely. Your problem sounds a lot bigger than just lack of intimacy. There are long-standing communication issues, and both emotional and financial issues. This cannot be solved with romance alone. The better step is to stop pursuing intimacy for now, since your partner is uninterested, and instead focus on having a structured conversation, such as, "Are you willing to work on this marriage, to make it better?" If she refuses to discuss these things with you, I suggest seeing a marriage counsellor; it will be an impartial party looking into the matter, without supporting one over another.

Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |12512 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2026
Career
my daughter has secured admission in CSE-AI at IGDTUW .Going by the reputation of the institute she withdrew from BITSAT,JOSAA, LNMIIT and MHT-CET counselings. But now after attending the college for few days, she has been completely put off by the real bad infra and attitude of teachers there.Only viable option left now for her is COMEDK, where she can get CSE in MSRIT.We are delhi based and budget is not a issue. Please suggest further course of action.
Ans: Your daughter may consider switching to MSRIT CSE through COMEDK if her initial experience at IGDTUW has led her to reassess her choice. MSRIT offers good industry exposure and the advantage of Bengaluru’s strong technology ecosystem. However, it would be advisable to visit MSRIT and interact with current students before making the final decision.

Please also verify the current COMEDK counselling and reporting status, as deadlines and eligibility can vary by round. Before proceeding, confirm that her specific counselling status permits admission/reporting at MSRIT.

At the same time, it is important to remember that no institution is perfect; every college has its own strengths and areas for improvement. The decision should therefore consider academics, campus environment, faculty interaction, placements, peer group, location and overall student experience.

Finally, ensure that your daughter is comfortable and mentally prepared to relocate from Delhi to Bengaluru, and that you as parents are also equally comfortable with the transition. If MSRIT appears to offer a better overall fit after this evaluation, switching can be a reasonable option. If possible, it may be worthwhile to keep RVCE CSE as a preference until the final counselling round, provided your daughter has already included RVCE CSE among her choices. If the option remains available in the subsequent rounds, she can consider it based on the seat availability and her merit position. All The Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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