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Shalini

Shalini Singh

Dating Coach 

99 Answers | 27 Followers

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me. Was I cheating on him. When we broke up he said I'm like other girls always playing the victim card, he called me names and said he lost respect and felt petty about me when I said I had nothing else to talk on this matter.
Ans: this has been responded to
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Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
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I am 30 years old having a full time decent job. I had very less female interaction in childhood and later despite having enough opportunities I didn't give importance to the dating life and also didn't work on my self confidence. Because of that I didn't have any relationship experience yet. Yes 3 girls rejected me and I also said no for 2 girls. Now I see my friends dating multiple girls and I am not able to convert even one into relationship. I feel like a complete failure also can't discuss with anyone. It's affecting my work and personal things too. Recently I girl said no after two months of conversation which gave me big hit and I have still not moved on. Please help me to over this situation.
Ans: You need to work on your self confidence and feel awesome about yourself before you start dating. Doing so will not impact you when someone say's no, look at it being their loss vs yours.
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Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me
Ans: You were uncomfortable and moved away from the individual - more power to you. It takes time to come to terms or get over such situations - when breakups happen we all go through self doubt, anger, sadness- this is a phase - they come and pass. Focus on your emotional and mental wellbeing - take care
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Answered on Jun 01, 2024

Answered on May 17, 2024

Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam , we are in relationship of total 3 yrs in which long distance is for 2 years we both have their colleges in different state now question arises to our mind about future that we both no we will do job in same location where we study we we both can't compromise to go to any other states as there is less opportunity as we both are in different field this is one of the problem and other is his parents are so strict and belongs to bhramin family they don't accept intercaste marriage even he don't want to step out from his home as he want to take care of his parents .and we are very sure that we don't want to compromise our careers . So how our marriage is possible ? Should we have to leave each other prior to the day comes or is there any solution to it which we both can compromise ??
Ans: Hmmm lets simplify this, what would you tell your friend if she comes and tells you that she has met someone wonderful BUT his parents will not accept her and he will make no efforts to make it work...I am assuming you will tell her to put this relationship on hold for sometime...which means putting it on hold with no interaction, stopping all interactions - giving him space and time to think about it...do this for 6 months to 12 months, this does not mean dating someone else. Here he needs to find a solution, if he does its a win-win, if he does not then he may not be someone she may wish to be in a relationship with...and in the meantime you are likely to ask her to focus on her career. My response to your query will be on the same lines.
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Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi Mam, I wanted to keep it anonymous. I am 26years old female, my parents are looking for a suitable alliance for me. They came with a proposal from a guy's family and they wanted to have a formal meet in a temple. We all met in the temple the guy's family looked good they talked in a nice manner myself and the guy had a seperate conversation. Before going his parents told that he is an introvert and wont speak much. while we went to talk i was the one asking him questions and he only replied for that and inturn asked me the same question. I am an extrovert so i did the most of the talking part i didnt wanted to make the convo boring without answering anything so i was coming up with new questions. We spoke for around 10-15mins and then went to the place where our parents were sitting, his parents asked me to tell the answer immediately but i told them that i will tell the decision once i reach home. His parnets talked to him seperately and asked him the decision and he said yes it seems. We left the temple then, after two days when my parents asked me what was my decision i told them that though he is a nice guy i cant see him as my partner and if were to marry him that would be for your happiness i will not be able to marry him whole heartedly was my answer, then my parents spoke to his parents and told that if you want to talk to him again meet him somewhere and then talk and decide. I thought okay lets give it a try and said yes, we met after a week in a cafe. He initially asked me about my work and then i asked the same after that again he didnt speak much, i always wanted my partner to speak and have fun conversation with me. Though its our second meet i wanted him to atleast talk little bit that the first one but he didnt do much talking part. I was again talking and we left after 30mins. My parents were trying to convince me a lot, i told them that my intuition doesn't work with this guy(I am firm believer of intuition i have been doing things based on my intuition only) but my parents were trying to convince me telling you dont know what you want we will only know what you want, you will be happy if you marry this guy. But my soul doesnt want to marry this guy it seems im not able to accept my parents convincing words. If i were to marry him that will only be my parents choice and not my choice. What should i do now?
Ans: Well, this conversation requires a discussion - but I will attempt responding based on what you have shared. You should know introverts take time in opening up...and that should be respected. Its possible when you know each other, he may still not open up with others, but with you he is talkative. What is bothersome here is you intuition, your 6th sense - which makes you uncomfortable - question it, why do you think that is the case. If I was in a similar situation I would have asked to meet this gentleman 3-4 times more - and would observe more and talk less :)....maybe listen more and ask fewer questions. If you do meet him ask him what is making him say yes. Let him know that it bothers you that he responds in short sentences. But after that play games together - from board games to games like 3 things you wish to have in your partner to 3 qualities you wish you partner works upon. You need to answer this as well. Ask him his 3 strengths and share yours, share personality traits you need to work on and ask his.....keep the conversations light and fun....and then question your intuition again...and if it does not agree then do what works for you. Make parents sit down and explain it to them without getting emotional or raising your voice. Hope this helps.
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Answered on Apr 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for 2 months now. before marriage, we met twice and only spoke on the phone mostly. During the talking phase, my now wife told me that she did not have any past and has hardly any male friends and has always been away from dating apps. However, after we got married I came to know she has been using dating apps like tinder,bumble,etc for years and was even involved with men in the past. One of such relationships continued till just few days before we started talking. She always seems to be lying and hiding when confronted about it. She always comes up with generic responses like she does not remember , she dont know or it was a normal thing , etc. this has led to arguments and I have found it extremely difficult to reason with her. This is going to an extent that sometimes it makes me think If i have made a correct decision about my marriage or not. Please let me know how do you see this situation.
Ans: I would start with the question - On why did you marry her? What was the reason for marrying her - I am sure it must be a fun/ nice reason - so focus on that. Now coming to her speaking to other men or being friends with them does not make her a woman of lesser values. Yes, she met them but things did not work out and anyways thats past and past is for a reason. Focus on now and on present - how is your relationship with her, how are you both to each other, do you encourage each other to follow your respective dreams, do you laff and joke a lot, do you both help in house chores, do you both allow each other to be as they are. Also know that it will take time to build trust - it can take anything from months to years....so be patient and work towards it. My take is focus on the now, the present and the future vs talking about the past....hope the response resonated well with you. Ps: I am building a matchmaking service to help people to meet each other for a long term relationship....some meet without them , many need them to help them find their special person.
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